Expectations Poll: Short Term Hookups For Life Or Long Term At Some Point?

[Just a Man]

You'd be surprised what women are willing to go with. Especially if they're invested in a relationship

But also to clear any miscommunications; I do have this talk with women after around 2-3 months. I used to do open relationships both ways but it's not for me, now I'm doing one-way monogamy

In my talk, I even tell them it's a way to keep my personal freedom. I also tell them it's a way to stay attractive

I do not, in any way condone cheating. Although I fully admit that there are times when it's quietly accepted. I actually know of a real life older family who is in this position. It's basically an open secret and everybody believes the wife is in the dark. However I think she knows deep down, she just ignores it because he has quite a bit of money AND rules the roost

100% agree marriages are hard work to make them work. Just from watching older families like my grandparents

Plus, relationships can be the same so I can only imagine that a marriage must make it moreso

Thanks for the reply. Interesting observations.

 

[POB]

With that being said hands down the best set up i found after doing all of those set up is: - she has her place you have your place and you see each other vs living together... and you still have some hook ups here and there if you feel like it...

+1000

IMO the best set up for seducers under the age of 60.
(even if married with kids, you need to have your own personal place away from hubbie/father routine).

 

[Searcher]

For everyone.

To make it simple: Keep your core, strong. You must have open conversations with all your wifes/girlfriends, for it to work, because belief is the essence of life.

The word Belief, the physical Representation of belief is Men and women

Travers 'Candyman' Beynon Has 'Strict Rules' When It Comes To Girlfriends

Candyman has spoken about his 'strict rules', Sunday night takeaways and how he sleeps with his wife and girlfriends every night

www.google.com

This is the dream I bet for almost all men. Minus the 24 kids of course.

Though one should think whether having regular foursomes and fivesomes is possible or because of jealousy a girl might want you alone for a whole night.

 

[Just a Man]

+1000

IMO the best set up for seducers under the age of 60.
(even if married with kids, you need to have your own personal place away from hubbie/father routine).

Yes, I would firmly agree that a seducer who is partnered should have a personal place elsewhere. Huge logistical upside.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Though one should think whether having regular foursomes and fivesomes is possible or because of jealousy a girl might want you alone for a whole night

You must have both.

1)Travers Beynon Method

Main Chick + Side chick knowing that they will be sidechicks. All sleep in the same bedroom

2)Sleep in different bedrooms But Wife 1 and then there's Wife 2,3,4,5

This is what I found.

With my uncle who has 3 wives, there's always one main alpha which he always go out with, to get something quick from the store or travel to other countries. He does bring other wives along when it matters, of course.

Sidenote: @POB said is very true and important. You need to escape from everyone, even if it is for a day. Society asked why men has failed in today's society. It's because you are putting a dolphin in a lagoon, and you are damn stupid to not recognize it. Because you are so fucking selfish.

So basically. To make it simple. There's always a main chick. I guess @Chase has a point when he says that it's harder in the female kingdom world than it is in the male kingdom world.

Even if you don't assigned the Queen, they will decide among themselves.

And I can attest that this is very real, especially if you are hot and/or she is really beautiful. Or another scenario where you are kinda look like shit. I have girls going directly for my hot female friends to test waters because I'm not that good looking.

They don't care about me.
I am fucking non existent.
They will go directly for my hot friends.

Anyway, Everyone is full of shit.

Zac is full of crap.
Train is full of crap. BEEP BEEP
Alpha is full of crap.
Skills is full of crap.
Everyone is full of crap.

WHat I'm saying is that we all go for what we want. That's for sure. It does make you jaded if you keep seeing it happened too many times and people ignoring your existence and worse, disrespectful to you.

z@c+

 

[Troy]

I replied earlier to Regal Tiger because I think his specific phrasing of option 4 was the right phrasing. Troy, I think you've added: "You set the expectation with your main girl that you will occasionally sleep with new women." I personally, actually, wouldn't add this.

Yes I did change the wording up a little bit based on my interpretation when I added Regal Tiger's response as option 4. The reason for this is for it to match the speaking tense of the other 3 options of "you". Also, I interpreted it from my moral standpoint that Regal Tiger was talking about setting the expectations "of course he told her he would sleep with other women". (To each his own on morals, no judgment there).

(Obviously, it could be another option, option 5 say, but in that case I wouldn't want to choose it.)

I guess it could go as option 5 yes.

Let's go back to what Regal Tiger said and my interpretation.

4. Hook up here and there but eventually finding a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to me whereas I'm only emotionally loyal to her. Continuing to hook up when freebies fall in my lap or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon

@Just a Man From my understanding, the way a woman would be both sexually and emotionally loyal to her man whereas he is only emotionally loyal to her is if:

1. The woman sees this man as high value. He is the best man in the city/state/e.t.c.. He most likely has some social proof from other women vying to be his girlfriend/wife. And so this woman decides to make a trade-off. She accepts her man sleeping with other women. While her trade-off is she gets to be the housewife:

- nice house
- high-end luxury vehicles she can drive whenever she wants,
- vacation to exclusive and expensive spots worldwide
- access to networks that her husband owns (without him she would not have access)
-e.t.c.

2. The man is cheating

He cannot tell his woman that he sleeps with other women. And I know this is a part of my reply that some guys may not like. However here is the truth, if a man cannot tell a woman he wants to sleep with other women, he is not being honest. It doesn't mean he has to come home and pull out his dick and tell his girlfriend/wife "I slept with Kiesha before I got home babe". He doesn't have to put it in her face so to speak and make her jealous.

As men, this is where we have to be honest with ourselves. I can understand why some women have the perception that some men are "fuckboys" or "cheaters" or "liars". The reality is if it has to be hidden from the woman, then I think it's best to find a different woman or set the expectation early in the relationship. I'm doing my best in this reply to be 100% fair to both men and women on this topic.

Here are a couple of things to think about:

- If a woman asks her man one day "are you cheating on me, babe?". Should the man look in her eyes and lie?

- If a guy came home one day from work and found his girl with another dude's dick in her mouth and cum all over her face... should he get upset at her? Remember in this situation, the woman has the impression that the guy is loyal to her. However, the guy is also sneaking around and sleeping with other women. Hence both of them would be the same thing, cheaters. Should the guy get upset at her for what she did? If the answer is "yes I would get upset", then that's a hypocritical answer. From a moral standpoint, the guy did not tell her that he was cheating, so her doing the same thing, would not make sense to be upset at her either.

3. The woman cheats as well (and she keeps it a secret from her man)

Some women will know their man is sleeping with other women. And in turn, they will have side dudes they fuck as well. So it is possible for the man to think "oh my woman is a pure angel sexually devoted to me only". When that is not the case.

There are statistics out there that most men get caught cheating because the side chicks wanted to become the main girl and because she could not get it, she snitched. Meanwhile, most women who are cheating won't be caught because men don't think like women. We just want to fuck. So if a woman does not want to be our girlfriend/wife, men are not going to snitch and tell the husband.

4. Expectations were set early in the relationship

In my opinion, this is the best option. As Regal Tiger said (below)

You'd be surprised what women are willing to go with. Especially if they're invested in a relationship

But also to clear any miscommunications; I do have this talk with women after around 2-3 months. I used to do open relationships both ways but it's not for me, now I'm doing one-way monogamy.

I think this is the best option. To be transparent. That will remove the following:

- Not having to lie or do sneaky things to sleep with other women
- Have the woman agree to the relationship dynamic (whether this is possible or not, some guys may want to debate it, feel free to.)
- By being honest, I do think it would keep the woman's feelings in check later in the relationship. If the man continues to be strong and attractive, the woman may very well remain monogamous to her man... even though she is 100% aware he sleeps with other women.

5. She has low self-esteem and is desperate for any male attention.

It happens I guess as @topcat explained in his post above.

That's my take. Anyhow, I will keep the poll on the topic. Good discussion @Just a Man

Troy

 

[Skills]

This is the dream I bet for almost all men. Minus the 24 kids of course.

Though one should think whether having regular foursomes and fivesomes is possible or because of jealousy a girl might want you alone for a whole night.

^ this is not a dream, that is actually the worst possible scenario lol..... I know you guys see that like cool is not, is beyond a headache and pretty horrible...

Young guys and people new to seduction think that is cool (i used to be a little boy dream of that is horrible)...

 

[topcat]

^ this is not a dream, that is actually the worst possible scenario lol..... I know you guys see that like cool is not, is beyond a headache and pretty horrible...

Young guys and people new to seduction think that is cool (i used to be a little boy dream of that is horrible)...

i can’t think of a worse hell than living with 5 women…

 

[Just a Man]

@Troy Thanks for the detailed and thoughtful reply. Yes, good discussion. Some thoughts following on:

From my understanding, the way a woman would be both sexually and emotionally loyal to her man whereas he is only emotionally loyal to her is if:

1. The woman sees this man as high value. He is the best man in the city/state/e.t.c.. He most likely has some social proof from other women vying to be his wife. And so this woman decides to make a trade-off. She accepts her man sleeping with other women. While her trade-off is she gets to be the housewife:

- nice house
- high end luxury vehicles she can drive whenever she wants,
- vacation to exclusive and expensive spots worldwide
- access to networks that her husband owns (without him she would not have access)

Yes, fair enough, I can imagine that some women will make that trade-off in order to benefit from the man's wealth/power/access. I forget this because these are not the women I would want to be in an LTR or marriage with. But I accept that that's just a personal preference and these women are out there. (Face-palm: there are websites filled with these women, aren't there?)

2. The man is cheating

He cannot tell his woman that he sleeps with other women. And I know this is a part of my reply that some guys may not like. However here is the truth, if a man cannot tell a woman he wants to sleep with other women, he is not being honest. It doesn't mean he has to come home and pull out his dick and tell his wife "I slept with Kiesha before I got home babe". He doesn't have to put it in her face so to speak.

As men, this is where we have to be honest with ourselves. I can understand why some women have the perception that some men are "fuckboys" or "cheaters" or "liars". The reality is if it has to be hidden from the woman, then I think it's best to find a different woman or set the expectation early in the relationship.

This is a widely-shared, traditional view that doesn't really always work in practice, to be honest. Referring in particular to marriages, or to permanent LTRs that are marriage-like in nature, it's still culturally very unusual for most people to go into those commitments while setting terms of polyamory even on both sides, let alone one side. Most people are taking a well-meaning punt on someone they love and expect to live with exclusively for several decades. Yet the statistics are clear. Half of those marriages fail and the other half are a very mixed bag. So our traditional attitudes to it (moral attitudes included) are actually rather dysfunctional. The reason is that the reality of very long-term commitment (maybe decades) is very challenging and shit happens along the way.

In many cases, the reality is not best served by traditional assumptions about a moral obligation to admit being unfaithful. Infidelity often happens within marriages that are in many ways quite successful, which neither partner would want to lose, and which is really just an outlet that might only be a phase. Some couples will navigate that phase with a tacit "don't ask, don't tell" attitude, while continuing to work things out. That can actually be ultimately good for permanent relationships.

It's very easy to judge with broad principles from the outside. But real life in particular cases isn't always best served by an off-the-shelf morality. I agree with you that it's "best to set expectation early in the relationship" but the reality, as I say, is that most people just go along with a traditional bundle of expectations about permanent exclusivity, and are too romantic about their relationship to want set alternative expectations. Most people aren't skilled seducers who've got this all figured out up front.

I hope that makes some kind of sense.

3. The woman cheats as well (and she keeps it a secret from her man)

Some women will know their man is sleeping with other women. And in turn, they will have side dudes they fuck as well. So it is possible for the man to think "oh my woman is a pure angel sexually devoted to me only". When that is not the case.

There are statistics out there that most men get caught cheating because the side chicks wanted to become the main girl and because she could not get it, she snitched. Meanwhile, most women who are cheating won't be caught because men don't think like women. We just want to fuck. So if a woman does not want to be our girlfriend/wife, men are not going to snitch and tell the husband.

Yes, the data is that women cheat plenty and are more successful at hiding it. My view is that this works both ways. If I do it, she can do it. If I don't think the relationship will benefit from a confession, then I don't really want to hear one from her. "Don't ask, don't tell" is a very good way of preserving all the good stuff in the relationship while the difficult bits get worked out.

4. Expectations were set early in the relationship

... ... ...

I think this is the best option. To be transparent. That will remove the following:

- Not having to lie or do sneaky things to sleep with other women

Yes, there should be less naivety and more realism in our general culture about very long-term partnerships. Sadly, there still isn't. I'd happily see more acceptance of poly situations, though I personally just wouldn't feel comfortable with insisting that it should be one-sided. I'd like any high-value wife or long-term partner to be an equally free agent. That's my moral code. Other people who are free agents can make their own deals.

5. She has low self-esteem and is desperate for any male attention.

As with item 1, yes, I can see that, but not the wife or long-term partner I'd want by any means. I just prefer reasonably high-value, independent women.

Interesting subject. Quite thought-provoking. Thanks again for reply @Troy

 

[trashKENNUT]

^ this is not a dream, that is actually the worst possible scenario lol..... I know you guys see that like cool is not, is beyond a headache and pretty horrible...

It sure is a lot of work, and way more work if you don't screen well.

At 6:00

 

[Skills]

It sure is a lot of work, and way more work if you don't screen well.

At 6:00

^ dude this is what must of the forum does, has nothing to do with LIVING AND MARRYING 5 women, see the difference....

5 fuck buddies living separate places vs 5 ltr type relationships at same time.....

 

[trashKENNUT]

^ dude this is what must of the forum does, has nothing to do with LIVING AND MARRYING 5 women, see the difference....

5 fuck buddies living separate places vs 5 ltr type relationships at same time.....

Look man.

One women can be very annoying for me already. I'm just linking up sources and content so that we can get close to the ideal lifestyle that we all want.

We all want different things.
Doesn't mean I'm always right.

but indications, they do live together. Dan and the chicks do live together. If we want to go full semantics on this, there's not enough data and long term data on how a lot of man fared in multiple LTR.

MLTR are like an outlier. So we either close this thread because we mental masturbating one another or we share notes on what we observe and found.

Doesn't mean I'm always right. Fucking hell. But I'm pretty sure my uncle had 3 wives and that's a fact. And there's always an alpha female even if you don't designated them. They will assigned among themselves.

z@c+