POLL: When is the best age to marry?

[Marty]

There is more to life than just fucking random bitches all day.

This is precisely the point on which I'd beg to differ.

If you will, recall a person you know who grew up in dire poverty, but then made it big in business. Got that picture in your mind? Maybe a distant relative, an uncle perhaps... Typically, such people are still extremely prudent and careful with money, even though they don't really need to be. That's because the habit formed in their youth lasts a lifetime. You might say that such a person is miserly. He'd probably say that he knows the value of money, through bitter experience.

If you didn't have the luxury of "fucking random bitches all day" in your youth (I certainly didn't, and I suspect there are others like me on this forum too), then believe it or not, the idea retains much of its appeal. I can't actually imagine what it would be like to "fuck random bitches all day", I don't even have a clue how I'd go about doing that, but it sure sounds good to me. Of course there is more to life, but that doesn't necessarily mean any of those other things are better.

I think this is exactly why you often find tiresome men in movies, in books, and in real life (though fortunately not on this forum, thank heavens!) who insist on preaching to other men: "Grow up", "Settle down", "Be faithful", "Don't cheat", "Don't sleep with loose women", "Don't sleep with other men's women", etc. etc. ad nauseam.

They have had their fill of women early in life, don't particularly care for the taste of them any more and are so utterly lacking in empathy that they cannot even imagine, for example, how unsatisfying it must be to have had only a handful of girlfriends, or a dozen or so lovers, before finding themselves in a relationship (or worse) where the partner has made an assumption of exclusivity.

It's like a rich person lecturing the poor: "My good man, money isn't everything, you know!" It may be true, and well-intentioned, but it's lacking in tact, and it's hardly likely to be sympathetically received!

 

[Just_Dave]

To DrexelScott: That's the point we're making. I can't speak for everyone, but I think i know what Just_Dave means (if not, i apologise).

Thus, as I illustrated in my example, if you are trying to start up or run your own business, that is a massive amount of cash flow that you could otherwise have invested in yourself and your own professional success. So as I mentioned before, you really have to make a choice of which you would rather prioritize:
raising a child, or having the best chance at your business / professional life succeed as much as possible.

For me, and for Just_Dave i'm sure, that's a very easy choice. But everyone is not the same and i respect your differences in thinking, so i wish you the best in your pursuit if success in the business life, as that sounds like that is your passion. My hopes and dreams for the future are different, so i would choose the other option, even if we didn't have such a good life.

+1, Just returning the favor haha

Outside notes and observances: Despite our actual differences I'm actually happy to see we can all come together to discuss them. It's what makes this forum so great. I'm actually happy Drex disagrees with me it's exciting to be able to see what someone else thinks on the subject matter. This is the one of the most active threads I've seen on this forum in awhile, in terms of different people posting and having discussions simultaneously. Besides just cause we all may disagree at times doesn't mean we don't like or respect each other at the end of the day.

Just Dave

 

[Anonymous]

There is more to life than just fucking random bitches all day.

This is precisely the point on which I'd beg to differ.

If you will, recall a person you know who grew up in dire poverty, but then made it big in business. Got that picture in your mind? Maybe a distant relative, an uncle perhaps... Typically, such people are still extremely prudent and careful with money, even though they don't really need to be. That's because the habit formed in their youth lasts a lifetime. You might say that such a person is miserly. He'd probably say that he knows the value of money, through bitter experience.

If you didn't have the luxury of "fucking random bitches all day" in your youth (I certainly didn't, and I suspect there are others like me on this forum too), then believe it or not, the idea retains much of its appeal. I can't actually imagine what it would be like to "fuck random bitches all day", I don't even have a clue how I'd go about doing that, but it sure sounds good to me. Of course there is more to life, but that doesn't necessarily mean any of those other things are better.

I think this is exactly why you often find tiresome men in movies, in books, and in real life (though fortunately not on this forum, thank heavens!) who insist on preaching to other men: "Grow up", "Settle down", "Be faithful", "Don't cheat", "Don't sleep with loose women", "Don't sleep with other men's women", etc. etc. ad nauseam.

They have had their fill of women early in life, don't particularly care for the taste of them any more and are so utterly lacking in empathy that they cannot even imagine, for example, how unsatisfying it must be to have had only a handful of girlfriends, or a dozen or so lovers, before finding themselves in a relationship (or worse) where the partner has made an assumption of exclusivity.

It's like a rich person lecturing the poor: "My good man, money isn't everything, you know!" It may be true, and well-intentioned, but it's lacking in tact, and it's hardly likely to be sympathetically received!

Alright, so your analogy is basically that those who grow up in poverty learn the value of money the hard way, and the same would be for someone who doesn't have a lot of girlfriends or lovers in their youth no? And when they get to the top of the business world they are likely to stay there because they don't want to revert to a lesser lifestyle correct? Naturally the same also goes for the romantic aspect of life. That all makes sense, but fucking bitches all day is not the top, that's what you do to get to the top. Those are experiences that allow men to see who they do and do not want to be with. And if one didn't have those experiences, then they shouldn't dwell on their past failures but they should proceed with filling the present with experiences while searching for someone who they could foresee a future with. If a person has already had those experiences and knows what does and does not work, then leave it to them to decide for themselves if they want to get married.

 

[Richard]

This is precisely the point on which I'd beg to differ.

If you will, recall a person you know who grew up in dire poverty, but then made it big in business. Got that picture in your mind? Maybe a distant relative, an uncle perhaps... Typically, such people are still extremely prudent and careful with money, even though they don't really need to be. That's because the habit formed in their youth lasts a lifetime. You might say that such a person is miserly. He'd probably say that he knows the value of money, through bitter experience.

If you didn't have the luxury of "fucking random bitches all day" in your youth (I certainly didn't, and I suspect there are others like me on this forum too), then believe it or not, the idea retains much of its appeal. I can't actually imagine what it would be like to "fuck random bitches all day", I don't even have a clue how I'd go about doing that, but it sure sounds good to me. Of course there is more to life, but that doesn't necessarily mean any of those other things are better.

I think this is exactly why you often find tiresome men in movies, in books, and in real life (though fortunately not on this forum, thank heavens!) who insist on preaching to other men: "Grow up", "Settle down", "Be faithful", "Don't cheat", "Don't sleep with loose women", "Don't sleep with other men's women", etc. etc. ad nauseam.

They have had their fill of women early in life, don't particularly care for the taste of them any more and are so utterly lacking in empathy that they cannot even imagine, for example, how unsatisfying it must be to have had only a handful of girlfriends, or a dozen or so lovers, before finding themselves in a relationship (or worse) where the partner has made an assumption of exclusivity.

It's like a rich person lecturing the poor: "My good man, money isn't everything, you know!" It may be true, and well-intentioned, but it's lacking in tact, and it's hardly likely to be sympathetically received!

Marty,

I'd also like to beg to differ

First and foremost, people's values and the lot are vastly different. What you think is valuable may be worthless to another, and likewise my values to you.

The way you're imposing it to be is that you won't be fulfilled and you won't feel fulfilled unless you "fuck multiple random bitches," and here's where funny things happen. Most of the time people live their lives "thinking" or "just knowing" that they want something, then reach that "something" to find it's actually worthless to that person, or un-fulfilling to that person.

Let's take your analogy and apply it realistically:
Men come from poverty, and grow, eventually they own a multi-billion dollar business (running the business you equated to fucking multiple bitches), and funny things happen: men sell those businesses because they don't fulfill them, and they aren't what these men truly want. You'd be surprised to find out how many people toss away their "goals" after achieving to find their actual personal worth.

The same is true of you, if you were able to "fuck multiple bitches everyday" would that really fulfill and enrich your life. Most likely not.

Objectively it gets boring, even if it's something you've longed for forever. The same is true with all things though, the man who fucks multiple bitches and the man who has a relationship both are equally as happy when that action is either fulfilling or hindering their lives.

Why specifically do you want to fuck multiple bitches? Of the whole array of relationship values, which are most important to you?

When you truly get down to who you are at your core, and what really drives you, you will probably find that dabbling around with other women is not as enriching as the wife you've got at home.

It's like a rich person lecturing the poor: "My good man, money isn't everything, you know!" It may be true, and well-intentioned, but it's lacking in tact, and it's hardly likely to be sympathetically received!

Have you ever stopped to understand why it is that rich people say things like this?

It's not because they've got money to the point where they can spend freely, or to the point where they have everything they want in life, it's because monetary and fiscal values have little to no emotional worth. The richest man in the world who made his money doing something he hates is a failure. The poorest man in the world who lives his life in correlation with his values is the richest.

Money (as a metaphor within this context relates to bitches) isn't happiness. Happiness is internally derived from person to person, and is a state that exists when your life reflects your values, when your life goals are congruent with your values.

And hell for that matter, most peoples values are not their own, they are socially derived, or socially thrusted upon you. So, you've got to ask yourself, which of your most vital values are being fulfilled from "fucking multiple bitches" that isn't fulfilled from having a loving wife at home? None.

This is a message for everybody

-Richard

 

[The Tool]

couldnt have said it better my self richard and smooth

 

[Marty]

Zphix, Tool:

I confess I don't understand. I am disappointed and confused.

You post here 2-3 lay reports apiece each month, and now you are proselytizing monogamy and discouraging others on this forum from even attempting to follow your illustrious examples?

Please, please convince me that this is something other than sheer, staggering hypocrisy. I don't want to believe that.

I have so much respect for you both, in terms of your talent and abilities with women, as well as your uncanny knack for imparting your knowledge to others, and thus forming the backbone of this online community. If I were to feel that you were attempting to "pull up the ladder behind you", it would shatter my image of you as successful, benevolent and thoughtful leaders. I don't want that to happen, ever.

I actually can't believe that's what you're trying to do, despite what you write. I am quite sure there has been some misunderstanding. Let's set it right, for the sake of mutual trust in this fragile virtual space

Thank you for your consideration.

-Marty

 

[The Tool]

Marty.

It seems you have misinterpreted how we portray ourselves. Let me start from the begining.

When I started girls Chase I had the soul intention of obtaining a girlfriend. and finding that one person who I could get into a monogomous relationship with.

And I did that with the only knowledge I had, and that was the knowledge of this site.

Yes that included going out with, sleeping, and engaging in sexual activitys with many different women. But it served a soul perpose. To screen, Qualify, and find that one woman who I did not have to settle for, the one woman that stood out above the rest, The one women who I could see myself being with for a long long time.

I used the information on this site to a T but you see...it was a means to an end so to speak to reach my end goal. To find the Girlfriend I currently have.

My goal was not to "fuck random bitches" but to engage in relations which would lead to a fullfilling relationship, to find a woman I was sexually, and emotionally compatable with.

I then became EXCLUSIVE to her, not out of scarcity or lack of abundance as stated before, but because I respected her and our relationship and wanted to see it deveolp into its true potential, and this includes hopefully marrige in the future and someday having kids.

YOu use the information this site has to offer how you see fit. And as I said I used it to find that 10/10 woman who I could see myself spending the rest of my life with and being happy. ANd I myself dont see happiness in "fucking random bitches" although that is what was required to get where I am.

Cheers, The Tool

 

[Richard]

Marty,

It's not my intent to attack you.

I'm speaking from a more experienced position on the matter (as you agree), but I'll be glad to settle the misunderstanding, and hypocrisy.

I don't advocate for guys sleeping with multiple women, I have because there was a point where I felt that was what was best, and after I got it, I realized how worthless it was. Each new girl is a new experience, yes, but it's nothing compared to the consistent fun and enchantment that a real relationship offers.

Keep in mind that while I was messing around with many women, I was also single, and still qualifying girlfriends and women. Sex, for me, is another means of qualifying a girl. When I find (and I have because I'm with a wonderful woman now) a girl who suits me, I stop my escapades because sex with multiple women isn't fulfilling.

I'll get a bit personal and let you know who I am. My 5 highest relationship values are: Support, Fun, Mutual Communication, Freedom, Trust.

With a single woman, she satisfies all those values and that drives me, it motivates me, and it satisfies me.

Multiple women can do the same thing, they could all support me, or one could support my decisions. Another could be fun, they all could be fun... and so on and so forth. But when I've got a single woman who satisfies and fulfills my values, then there's no point in looking for other women to fill those values.

You have relationship value; things that are most important to you in a relationship, and a relationship isn't "fulfilling" to you unless your highest values are met.

The point is, a single woman is able to satisfy those values and enrich your life, multiple women can do the same thing a single woman can. And in my opinion, when a single woman is able to satisfy your values, and you purposely choose to have more than woman then it's selfish.

When I'm in a relationship, you'll never hear of me or see me with other women.

So Marty: my life (with women) in a relationship, is different than my life (with women) outside of a relationship.

There's a huge distinction between the two.

Anyway, for me it's a matter of values, a single girl is all I need to fulfill my values, and in reality, it's all any man needs. Any person who convinces themselves that they need more than one person to do anything for them hasn't met the right person

 

[Desert Eagle]

To answer the original post,

I don't believe age to be of a good indicator of when to get married. However, most people want to be married when they reproduce. There's certainly an ideal age at which to have children, yet it is one that current culture is shying away from. Society makes life extremely difficult around the time that women should ideally be reproducing (18-29), leading to it not being an ideal time to reproduce. Men have more leeway, although it should be noted that, biologically, the quality of semen is decreased gradually from the age of 18 and onward. If you're 18, stable, and healthy, you are more likely to have high quality semen.

For personal reasons, it's obvious that having children right now wouldn't be ideal, even though I'm at the ideal age. I'll likely wait until I am at the best position to have children. One piece of the puzzle is finding a younger woman to have them with; the closer she is to 18 years old, the better, along with a handful of other factors.

Marty,

Please, please convince me that this is something other than sheer, staggering hypocrisy. I don't want to believe that.

Perhaps a quote from Z will clear things up for you,

And hell for that matter, most peoples values are not their own, they are socially derived, or socially thrusted upon you.

Z,

Anyway, for me it's a matter of values, a single girl is all I need to fulfill my values, and in reality, it's all any man needs. Any person who convinces themselves that they need more than one person to do anything for them hasn't met the right person

You do, however, understand that different people enjoy different lifestyles? It is ridiculous to think that you can throw every single man on the Earth into one bottle and claim that all they should be doing is spending their life with the "right person", which by itself has an incredibly ambiguous and subjective meaning. It's not your way or the highway.

 

[Richard]

You do, however, understand that different people enjoy different lifestyles? It is ridiculous to think that you can throw every single man on the Earth into one bottle and claim that all they should be doing is spending their life with the "right person", which by itself has an incredibly ambiguous and subjective meaning. It's not your way or the highway.

Desert,

I agree with you actually

I'm not throwing every man into a bottle, for the exact reason that you said "which by itself has an incredibly ambiguous and subjective meaning." <-- You're exactly right.

What love means to me, may not be what love means to another. What fun means to someone may mean love to me.

But, the fact that you can't escape from is that a single person (not necessarily the right person) is capable of satisfying your values, all by her lonesome.

 

[Desert Eagle]

But, the fact that you can't escape from is that a single person (not necessarily the right person) is capable of satisfying your values, all by her lonesome.

That is not a fact. If someone holds the value/belief that they are underachieving by only sleeping with one girl, then one girl is not capable of satisfying what he feels to be pleasure. I'm sure you will try to spin this into a story where it fits your own understanding of things. You may bring up a point where a guy may think that one girl isn't capable of satisfying him, but in reality it's something else/society/-insert psychological effect here-. No, I'm talking about a man who legitimately only feels satisfaction whilst sleeping with multiple women. Who are you to tell a man that he won't find pleasure in sleeping with multiple women? Because,

First and foremost, people's values and the lot are vastly different.

All I want you to understand is that it is possible. It is possible that a man will not be satisfied by one woman just by the very nature of his values, as they may not allow for one woman to completely satisfy them.

 

[Richard]

All I want you to understand is that it is possible. It is possible that a man will not be satisfied by one woman just by the very nature of his values, as they may not allow for one woman to completely satisfy them.

Both sides of the coin are "possible." Everything that we, as humans, feel is a result of us. When I feel happy it's because of my process, when I feel upset it's because of my mental process, when I feel like fucking many women it's because of my process, when I feel like committing to a single woman it's because of my process.

When a man feels that he can "only" feel that achievement and satisfaction from fucking multiple women it's his choice. But it's not the only way to get that same satisfaction because you can frame things to fit your purpose, to suit you.

I'm not saying it's impossible to feel that you can only feel achievement and satisfaction and worth from sleeping with multiple women, I'm saying that the ability to get those same feelings exists from choosing to sleep with a single woman.

Values and beliefs are subject to change, and change is a result of you (should you choose) but more often than not, individual change is a result of external forces. With the fact that beliefs and values change, a man who thinks that sleeping with multiple women is the only way to get gratification can change his beliefs so it's not the case.

Let me give you a real life example, a word for word excerpt from a Tony Robbins book:

I once worked wiht a man who had a not uncommon problem. He had a loving relationship with a woman. But he also put a high value on being sexually attractive and interacting with other women. When he'd elicit sexual signals from an attractive woman, he'd begin to feel guilty because of the value he put on his relationship.

When he met an attractive woman, his syntax for attraction worked this way. He'd see such a woman (Ve) and he'd say something to himself (Aid): "This woman is gorgeous, and she wants me." This would lead to a feeling of desire to follow through (Ki), and sometimes desire became reality and he took action (Ke). But both the desire and any romantic adventures that ensued resulted in severe conflicts for his need for a strong, one-on-one relationship, which was a deep desire for him.

I taught him to add a new piece to his strategy, which had been Ve-Aid-Ki-Ke. I set it up so that after he saw a woman (Ve) and said to himself, "This is a beautiful woman, and she wants me" (Aid), I added another auditory internal phrase: "And I love the woman I'm with." Then I had him picture the woman he was involved with smiling at him and looking at him in a totally loving way (Vi), which created for him a new kinesthetic internal feeling, one that made him feel like loving the woman he was with.

The point I'm trying to make is, you can change a single thing about your mental process to get the same feelings from a single woman instead of multiple just as Anthony Robbins did for the man above.

Nothing is impossible. Now, off to my GFs house, to watch Attack on Titan

-Richard

 

[Franco]

I realize that this post has generated a lot of conversation, and I don't really have the time to read through all of it, so I'll cut to the chase (pun... intended?)

To start, I think Drex probably has the best answer on this in that it actually provides a concrete answer. In reality, the answer will vary depending on you. But based on my personal experiences up until this point in my life, and based on what I've seen on what has worked and what hasn't (as well as who was happiest and who wasn't), I think most guys should generally not be looking to get married until their mid-30s.

I think it's fine to have plenty of girlfriends prior to that (short- and long-term), but you really won't know what you want until you've experienced enough to actually know what is out there and what you are capable of getting. What I wanted and thought I was capable of even two years ago before I found GirlsChase is drastically different from what I want and know I'm capable of today. And I know that these views are still the most susceptible to change during the next ten years of my life as I advance in my career and personal relationships with women, so I realize now that questions such as "when should I get married?" are irrelevant to consider at the moment.

So I would advise the same thing as Drex: don't make permanent (or largely drastic) decisions far into the future until you are actually AT THAT POINT in the future. You don't really know what you want until you are actually there. So in other words, anyone who has to ask other people this question is not ready to know what answer is best for them!

- Franco