Possible Date with co-worker HOW TO PROCEED?

[TheRuralJuror]

Hey guys,

I basically cold approached a co worker who I met for the first time today. She was wearing and brace on her ankle and I approached by asking "what happened"?

Long story short, we ended up talking all day at work, with her doing most of the talking. I got her number, and started texting her a couple of hours after work. And I asked her out on a date for a bite to eat or coffee next week/weekend. She says yes. Saying I'm bold and never experienced that before (being asked out by a guy she just met). I'll try to write a field report about the interaction sometime tommrow.

Anyway, she basically say yes, I texted her alittle bit more and wished her a goodnight. I fell asleep and woke up to a text saying:
(Im paraphrasing)

Her: After sitting and thinking about it, I don't think it's smart to go on a date because we are coworkers, and that stuff gets very iffy. I think it's best to just keep things professional."

I did not respond because I don't know what to say. I'm thinking it's either she texted her friend about it and she's testing me? OR maybe attraction expired and that's it? OR she doesn't want to come off as "easy"?

Now in a way she does have a point, things could get iffy! Plus I am not looking for a relationship anyway, so if things go well on this date it could be disastrous. And I just started at this job too! "Don't shit where you eat" comes to mind here! But I am willing to go on this date because 1. Need the experience, and 2. She seems like a cool chick!

Now I am probably gonna see her around tomorrow at work, so I'm sure this is gonna come up. What do I say? How do I respond?

 

[Sub-Zero]

Social circle kinda sucks like that; it's like if you don't fuck the 1st night then attraction expires. The thing is they get that time to think about it or ask friends and then you'll get cockblocked. It really all depends on if you care about keeping the job, your reputation, drama, etc. All those things can happen with work. If it were me I wouldn't say anything and just act cool when I see her at work, and feel things out, but that's because I have done this type of game for a while and know it could backfire and annoy me if I don't get the date or lay, so I kinda let them decide, but I don't care about the girl.

But to keep it short, if the job doesn't really matter to you, still be cool and if she says anything about it i would try to make it easy for her to say yes. Comfort her.

I will say this if you didn't know, do not ever like a girl at work, take her serious or keep trying to get her on a date, do not. You will end up in your feelings because you will keep trying and she will keep playing games with you a lot, then you'll have feelings and be chasing because you will feel ever so close and then she hits you with a flake, and the cycle continues.

I can tell you with every girl I messed up with, I tried to get them back out, I would have them literally about to fuck, then I got some lmr, didn't seal the deal and I never got them out again, no matter what. Even though I kept my cool, I still had that feeling that I was so close, but i was smart enough to know not to go to hard. That shit is the worse feeling bro, then you feel bad because the girl isn't even that cute, so you feel like shit for even putting up with her flakes.

End rant: I just wanna get that out the way because that is one of the worse feelings ever.

But all in all, just be nonchalant and cool.

 

[Michal]

Hi,

I am no expert in workplace situations but if you want to respond to her, do not bend to her frame (meaning "yea totally, it could get iffy, lets be professional"). I understand that you see it from her point of view but if you bend, I would say any future fling or anything will be most likely closed to you. If you are cool, she will get to know you more down the line and if you show her you are discrete she could be up for some shagging after work in couple of weeks or a month or who knows. So I agree, stay cool, realize that it is a social circle and therefore harder to navigate in terms of reputation and if you sense it could get iffy and agree with her, just reframe it, dont straight out agree with her. Make it seem as if the idea came from you.

Not sure whether that would work but if she brings it up you tcan tell her you thought about it and yes it could get iffy but does not mean it will, BUT it also is a situation where you two would have to keep it just between you two. And since you just met her, you dont know whether she could keep a secret and be discrete about it, and while she is pretty cool and you would go for it if it were not for the "working together" thing, you cancel the date and that way make it your decision. She could try and qualify herself (which is the prefered reaction) or she could just say it is the best thing to do. Depends how she reacts.

 

[Fuck This]

Depends if we are talking JOB or CAREER. Is she a direct report to you? If so then HELL NO STAY AWAY. If that is the case than just asking her out is grounds for Sexual harassment.

If she works in another division and you don't have to work together or report to the same supervisor, it is not ideal, but people have done it. The problem is usually when it ends it is not mutual then someone gets upset, and uncomfortable.

I guess at this point you have asked her out, so your intent is obvious. if you can drop it now, do it. If you pursue it and she is still resistant it could make her more uncomfortable seeing you around. I think her best value to you is as a female wing. Part of being a good seducer is to recognize situations that have the highest likelihood of turning out positive. This one is marginal at best.

My opinion is: Tell her that you agree that dating someone in the workplace is not your style, and that you felt a kinship that you mistook for raw attraction. . Friendzone her. Keep the vibe comfortable. It is going to make your worklife a lot easier.

 

[T-Mack]

Depends if we are talking JOB or CAREER. Is she a direct report to you? If so then HELL NO STAY AWAY. If that is the case than just asking her out is grounds for Sexual harassment.

If she works in another division and you don't have to work together or report to the same supervisor, it is not ideal, but people have done it. The problem is usually when it ends it is not mutual then someone gets upset, and uncomfortable.

I guess at this point you have asked her out, so your intent is obvious. if you can drop it now, do it. If you pursue it and she is still resistant it could make her more uncomfortable seeing you around. I think her best value to you is as a female wing. Part of being a good seducer is to recognize situations that have the highest likelihood of turning out positive. This one is marginal at best.

My opinion is: Tell her that you agree that dating someone in the workplace is not your style, and that you felt a kinship that you mistook for raw attraction. . Friendzone her. Keep the vibe comfortable. It is going to make your worklife a lot easier.

I agree with this, there is too much room for error and you dont want to risk your job unless you have a safety net or something or don't plan on being there long in which case you can go for the gusto but if you need that job dont do it.