Read on this situation?

[Anonymous]

So, background is I'm 43, out of a long, crappy marriage, and while it was collapsing, I met a 22 year old girl, hit it off, started dating, necked, fooled around with, she graduated college and moved 2 hours away.

I have been chasing her ever since. It's hard to find the time to be around her, but I have. There never seemed time or space to get laid, but she would get together with me whenever I called, cheap date, not cheap date, whatever. She has been seeing other people. I don't care. I have been seeing other people. She never asks. We finally started sleeping together around November. During this time I've broken all the rules for being a good PUA: got too involved, confessed my feelings, made her mix tapes, paid for dates, bought small gifts, tried to figure out if there were expectations, asked if she wanted a commitment.

The answer to the last is no. OK, but the sex is good. And I like her company.

She never texts or Facebooks first, she never calls, but she likes it when I do. I seem to be out of sight, out of mind, but 9 times out of 10 when I call she makes time for me.

Last weekend, I was in her area, had her come to my hotel. She was telling me how she's so tired of the young men she's hanging out with. Not going to have sex with them any more. Not interested in sex. So, of course I ask her if she wants to have sex, and we do.

What is this, exactly? Fuck buddy? Friends with benefit? Daddy issues?

I wouldn't mind more of a relationship... but I wouldn't mind fucking her until she figures out what she wants to do with her life. Most of my training would be that courting leads to relationship, but she seems to enjoy endless courting and be really iffy about the relationship part.

I know I'm an AFC. Don't mind being one. But I'd really be interested to hear from the experts: what's going on in her head?

 

[almosteasy21]

Without knowing how elaborate these "small gifts are it's a little tough to say. Place yourself in her shoes for a moment and think about what kind of challenge she would face if she starts a relationship with you. First and foremost her reputation would take a hit if you two got involved. Second you two don't live within a normal drive from each other so that would be a hassle. Lastly if you're buying her gifts and the sex is good then why would she want that to change?

That's awesome that you're still pulling 22yr olds so you're clearly doing something right. My advice would be to sit back and enjoy it while you go out and meet other people.

After "breaking all the rules" the ball is in her court. There isn't much you can do or not do to make her like you besides giving her good feelings when she's with you. So once again I stress just enjoy each others company and have her replacement ready should things change.

 

[JMP_123]

I aspire to be bagging a hot 22 yr old if i'm not married somehow in my 40's so all props to you AFCOKBYME. If I was you I wouldn't have gone to such far lengths to continue to please her. I mean sex is one thing, paying for a few dates is one too b/c you're the older one. But getting emotionally invested in a 22 yr old who lives 2 hours away doesn't jive with me. Why put yourself out there when unless you go to her you're getting nothing in return?

And is it a fuck buddy for you? Absolutely.
And does she have daddy issues? Absolutely, she's 22 and bangin' a 40 year old who lives 2 hours away.

Just watching out for you man..

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi AFCOKBYME,

What is this, exactly? Fuck buddy? Friends with benefit? Daddy issues?

I wouldn't mind more of a relationship... but I wouldn't mind fucking her until she figures out what she wants to do with her life. Most of my training would be that courting leads to relationship, but she seems to enjoy endless courting and be really iffy about the relationship part.

I know I'm an AFC. Don't mind being one. But I'd really be interested to hear from the experts: what's going on in her head?

I think you have ended yourself in a position where you have invested in her more than she has invested in you. She is okay and doesn't mind you contacting her all this while, but the problem is here.

In her head, You are neither special guy nor the nice guy.

i suggest cutting contact for a good while, a full month or two, and come back and rock her world really bad. then if the problem still persist, i have a thought she's the girl who likely doesn't like relationships. That one you cannot do much.

Zac

 

[Whizzy]

Is she a free-spirit kind of girl? If so then I would have to agree with Zac