Requests for gifts upfront

[Marty]

Hello all, how do you handle early (pre-meeting) requests for gifts when introducing yourselves on dating apps? I seem to be getting asked for flowers (the most frequent request), clothing, to send enough money for a slice of cake (no kidding, this was from a pretty but slightly plump girl), and all manner of other material input, most often immediately after introductions. Adding to the difficulty is the fact that there are a lot of impostors on such apps who will attempt to defraud men; but even from what seem to be bona fide women looking for romance, they have a tendency to request it as a sign of seriousness and genuine intentions.

So far I have ignored or swatted away such requests, but will this seem mean? I cannot afford to indulge these requests on a mass scale, and it’s hard to tell what will lead to a personal meeting and what is pure opportunism.

I’ve checked Oh Pry’s guide to the apps but he says nothing about this eventuality.

Here’s a recent example:

Marty: Good day Maria, I very much like how the long black polka-dot dress, which you photographed yourself in the mirror wearing, lies on your figure. The red bolero and heels make a great combination with it too. I will be happy to meet you. -Marty

Maria: Good day, Marty! How pleasant it is when a man has excellent taste, and even pleasanter when a man gives beautiful gifts

You see it? It’s subtle, but it’s there.

I will be grateful for any solid advice, as always.

-Marty

 

[gameboy]

They're trying to scam you. Even on sugar dating apps you are expressly warned not to semd money or gifts before meeting in person.

 

[topcat]

Marty, you need to learn to get pussy for free. Dick and vagina are at the very least an equal trade; for a man of value with his shit together (which you are) the dick is the more valuable. You seriously need to internalize that.

When a woman expects gifts without equal or greater investment herself, you turn it down.

As somebody that has mastered online dating, here's what i do: *unmatch*

Gift-Giving Is a Crumby Mating Strategy​

also read:

It Often Isn’t Good to Give​

Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?​

You've got big simp tendencies, and I don't mean that to disrespect you. Girls with nefarious intentions prey on guys that behave like you.

Prioritize laying the pussy.

Worry about gift giving when you have a compliant girl that is happy to have YOU.

 

[Skills]

Hello all, how do you handle early (pre-meeting) requests for gifts when introducing yourselves on dating apps? I seem to be getting asked for flowers (the most frequent request), clothing, to send enough money for a slice of cake (no kidding, this was from a pretty but slightly plump girl), and all manner of other material input, most often immediately after introductions. Adding to the difficulty is the fact that there are a lot of impostors on such apps who will attempt to defraud men; but even from what seem to be bona fide women looking for romance, they have a tendency to request it as a sign of seriousness and genuine intentions.

So far I have ignored or swatted away such requests, but will this seem mean? I cannot afford to indulge these requests on a mass scale, and it’s hard to tell what will lead to a personal meeting and what is pure opportunism.

I’ve checked Oh Pry’s guide to the apps but he says nothing about this eventuality.

Here’s a recent example:




You see it? It’s subtle, but it’s there.

I will be grateful for any solid advice, as always.

-Marty

i have a gift right behind my zipper, it will be the best gift you ever had....(just in case you don't get it, i am trolling you, don't say that),

just treat it as a shit test, ignore and continue with the structure towards a meeting... Again online is about structure and going for the meet...Anything else on the profile is irrelevant or on what she says, again for the 100th time:

open, banter>qualify her>move of app>banter>soft close>if she bites hard close.... If she is looking for a 7 feet tall, ripped guy with a 12 inch retractably dick flying her to mumbai on a pay vacation that will marry her, give her babies no prenup and 1 million diamond ring IRRELAVANT....

brah! are you quoting irt post lolololol........FACEPALM!


David d basic 101 seduction....

"MISTAKE #4: Trying to "Buy" Her Affection with Food and Gifts​

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.

Well guess what?

It's only NATURAL when this happens...

That's right, I said NATURAL.

When you do these things, you send a clear message:

"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION."

 

[TomInHo]

Hello all, how do you handle early (pre-meeting) requests for gifts when introducing yourselves on dating apps?

I laugh at them tbh.

I seem to be getting asked for flowers (the most frequent request), clothing, to send enough money for a slice of cake (no kidding, this was from a pretty but slightly plump girl), and all manner of other material input, most often immediately after introductions.

They are scammers

Adding to the difficulty is the fact that there are a lot of impostors on such apps who will attempt to defraud men; but even from what seem to be bona fide women looking for romance, they have a tendency to request it as a sign of seriousness and genuine intentions.

I honestly don't get those kind of request often. There must be something in your profile, text or maybe location that's making women respond this way

So far I have ignored or swatted away such requests, but will this seem mean?

It's not mean. It's having self respect and not giving a stranger gifts just for the opportunity to meet them

Marty: Good day Maria, I very much like how the long black polka-dot dress, which you photographed yourself in the mirror wearing, lies on your figure. The red bolero and heels make a great combination with it too. I will be happy to meet you. -Marty

-Marty

Maria: Good day, Marty! How pleasant it is when a man has excellent taste, and even pleasanter when a man gives beautiful gifts

Yeah, I see what could be happening now

Your first message is way too over-eager. You're pretty much drooling over her and are down to meet her off just her profile alone

A better approach is to open more casually, then get her to qualify to you so that she feels she EARNED the date and you don't just ask anyone out.

Try toning it down a bit and see if that helps because maybe your thirst off rip might make some of these women view you as a mark

 

[Adventurer]

+1 to what has already been said, at worst it's a scam, at best a shit test. Just say no, if they're used to getting free stuff, they will sometimes get more interested when they see you're not someone who will just send cash to someone they didn't meet yet

If it's very obvious that she does it with everyonr, like she asks "buuut what will you give me" after agreeing to the date, nothing you can do. She's a gold digger, you need to screen those OUT

 

[Will_V]

You see it? It’s subtle, but it’s there.

It's about as subtle as a sledgehammer my man!

No girl who has any remote interest in sleeping with you requests a gift just for a meeting, simple as that. Either a scam or she's messing with you.

Try toning it down a bit and see if that helps because maybe your thirst off rip might make some of these women view you as a mark

Definitely. Guys who pile on the compliments come across as guys who will pile on a lot of other things too.

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Hello all, how do you handle early (pre-meeting) requests for gifts when introducing yourselves on dating apps? I seem to be getting asked for flowers (the most frequent request), clothing, to send enough money for a slice of cake (no kidding, this was from a pretty but slightly plump girl), and all manner of other material input, most often immediately after introductions. Adding to the difficulty is the fact that there are a lot of impostors on such apps who will attempt to defraud men; but even from what seem to be bona fide women looking for romance, they have a tendency to request it as a sign of seriousness and genuine intentions.

So far I have ignored or swatted away such requests, but will this seem mean? I cannot afford to indulge these requests on a mass scale, and it’s hard to tell what will lead to a personal meeting and what is pure opportunism.

I’ve checked Oh Pry’s guide to the apps but he says nothing about this eventuality.

Here’s a recent example:




You see it? It’s subtle, but it’s there.

I will be grateful for any solid advice, as always.

-Marty

I agree with what @TomInHo said but it's not mainly about the too much compliments

But that you are too eager to meet them just by looking at her photos. "I'll be happy to meet you" without her investing a bit in the convo or qualifying herself just makes you look like a mark.

Probably something in your profile that reinforces these assumptions about you too.

Having said that tho, some of these girls could also definitely be scams.

But trying working on your game aspect and see if it improves

 

[Marty]

As somebody that has mastered online dating, here's what i do: *unmatch*

Thank you, I deleted the connection with ‘Maria’ without answering.

Marty, you need to learn to get pussy for free. Dick and vagina are at the very least an equal trade; for a man of value with his shit together (which you are) the dick is the more valuable. You seriously need to internalize that.

Thanks for the compliment. Yes, I agree.

Gift-Giving Is a Crumby Mating Strategy

Thanks for sharing that article. I hadn’t read it before and I found it very insightful. I was particularly surprised to read the following passage:

The men typically fall into this camp:

• Romantic, emotional, and (frequently, though not always) bottled up. Not expert at understanding women, and consistently confused/frustrated by women's behavior. Doing things / following patterns they hope will work; depressed/disappointed when they don't.

It’s a little bit like unexpectedly seeing yourself printed on the page. I think I am all of those things. I hadn’t realized that romantic, emotional, and ‘bottled-up’ were negatives.

You've got big simp tendencies, and I don't mean that to disrespect you. Girls with nefarious intentions prey on guys that behave like you.

I am not offended, in fact my paternal grandfather said very much the same thing when I was 5 years old. Not in so many words of course, what he actually said was that I looked as if I would be taken advantage of by an unscrupulous woman, if not several of them. According to my father, at least.

The strange thing is that when you look at young women’s pretty faces, they appear kind and feminine, as if they would appreciate attention. It’s hard to believe that they don’t want you to be nice, but instead to posture and act macho and unmoved—certainly this was an eye-opener for me when I discovered the site as late as 2013. Still more of a puzzle was how during the mid-90s to mid-00s I had somehow managed to have several girlfriends, get married, and start a family without knowing any of these ‘rules’: Clearly a lot of it is instinctive, and the natural drive to reproduce carries men along much of the way.

 

[Marty]

brah! are you quoting irt post lolololol........FACEPALM!

Well, Franco said it was useful. I also like Tool’s First Date Guide and have used parts of it before, I probably credited it in several field reports. But yes, I agree it is funny to quote IRT

open, banter>qualify her>move of app>banter>soft close>if she bites hard close....

This looks good, thanks.

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?

If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.

Well, it was nothing fancy, but a few years back I took a girl on 3 dates: drinks at a restaurant, a walk with lunch, and a movie with cocktails after, and after all that she said she’d prefer to remain friends (which I politely declined, that would not have worked for me).

What I found surprising was that she needed 3 half-day interactions to decide this, rather than just rejecting me at first sight. I liked her at first sight and certainly the 3 dates didn’t change that impression she made on me, why should it? This I found somewhat annoying, as I felt I had been strung along for no reason, something I wouldn’t have done to a woman.

Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation.

Fair enough, but I think I made it pretty clear in this thread that the women are asking for these presents unprompted. I’m not offering girls gifts at my own initiative. So it would seem that they are actually asking to be manipulated in this case.

 

[DarkKnight]

I’ve checked Oh Pry’s guide to the apps but he says nothing about this eventuality.

you realize Oh Pry is Indian Race troll right? Not necessarily the guy to go for seduction knowledge

 

[Skills]

Fair enough, but I think I made it pretty clear in this thread that the women are asking for these presents unprompted. I’m not offering girls gifts at my own initiative. So it would seem that they are actually asking to be manipulated in this case.

Brah! Facepalm, you didn't get the point

 

[POB]

Ignore all the gifting and procceed to seed the date.
If she presses upon it, just say:
"I only do gifts for people who are really close to my heart
Maybe you could turn into one, who knows
But first we gotta meet and see if the vibe is there"

 

[Marty]

Ignore all the gifting and procceed to seed the date.
If she presses upon it, just say:
"I only do gifts for people who are really close to my heart
Maybe you could turn into one, who knows
But first we gotta meet and see if the vibe is there"

That’s wonderful. Thank you, POB.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Marty,

I have some general advice that I think would greatly increase your results very fast if you followed it with discipline. It's the same advice I gave you ~10 years ago when you would post FR's about you giving girls kisses on the cheek and speaking to them like you were some Medieval poet.

I understand that your intelligence and lexicon is something you value highly. I don't want to suggest that you abandon it, but for the moment, it is serving as more of a hindrance than a boon.

You're so smart that in your meandering through ideas, you end up in your own ass by the end of it.

This question/thread is a perfect example.

You KNOW that this shit is lame. She asks for gives before even meeting her? No. The only gift she's gonna get is this fucking dick in her mouth. And it's the greatest gift you could give a woman.

But you love your intellect so much that you WANT to play mental games like these. It's your daily rubick's cube. Your intelligence will serve you well later on, but right now, it's your biggest cockblock.

At the end of the day, you're trying to put your cock in her holes. Think of the women you have loved most. When you were in bed with them, were you reciting Dante in 14th century Tuscan? NO. You were shoving your hard dick in her wet holes.

That's your "inner dog." You need to unleash him. The sexual component is the animal side (dog) and the intellectual component is the gymbro meathead.


You need to unleash your inner retard.

He thinks simply. He speaks simply. He acts decisively, because either he'll succeed or get rejected.

He just wants to fuck.

So be that guy, Marty. For the next 3 months, try to reconnect with the gladiator Marty. He just knows one thing - fuck. Yeah, he's not sitting up there in the nice area with his pomp and pedigree, but every girl in the arena lusts after his dick.

You don't have to get rid of Scholar Marty or Romantic Marty, but for the love of all the gods in all of the heavens, put him on the bench for a little bit.

Dog/gladiator Marty wants to play, so let him play.

Speak simply. Think simply. Go with your gut.

You'll be wrong a lot, and that's fine, but you'll be training your decisiveness and simple thinking, which is very helpful when things are simple.

Situations with girls are NOT always simple, but they sometimes are, and when you don't know how to be simple, you fail in these situations.

And even when things ARE complicated, the answers are eventually simple and if you can't think simply, you will also fail there.

3 months. Simple Marty. Every aspect of your life, if you can.

I guarantee miraculous changes IF you follow this advice faithfully.

Hector

 

[Marty]

3 months. Simple Marty. Every aspect of your life, if you can.

Thanks, Hector. You didn’t have to help me, but you chose to do it. I appreciate that.

 

[Conquistador]

Hello all, how do you handle early (pre-meeting) requests for gifts when introducing yourselves on dating apps? I seem to be getting asked for flowers (the most frequent request), clothing, to send enough money for a slice of cake (no kidding, this was from a pretty but slightly plump girl), and all manner of other material input, most often immediately after introductions. Adding to the difficulty is the fact that there are a lot of impostors on such apps who will attempt to defraud men; but even from what seem to be bona fide women looking for romance, they have a tendency to request it as a sign of seriousness and genuine intentions.

So far I have ignored or swatted away such requests, but will this seem mean? I cannot afford to indulge these requests on a mass scale, and it’s hard to tell what will lead to a personal meeting and what is pure opportunism.

I’ve checked Oh Pry’s guide to the apps but he says nothing about this eventuality.

Here’s a recent example:




You see it? It’s subtle, but it’s there.

I will be grateful for any solid advice, as always.

-Marty

Oh Pry was a troll lol

 

[Loverboy]

These articles are definitely worth the read:

You should have this always in mind as you structure your early relationship:

"I want girls to know on the inside that they love me for me."

Relationship Expectations: Kill Some Impulsiveness and Set Some of These Instead

There's something in a normal relationship called the "honeymoon period." The honeymoon period is the period in the relationship where both parties are blissful and neither one feels the other can do any wrong and everything about one another seems special and amazing and great. Your girl thinks...

www.girlschase.com

There is one fatal flaw running through dating advice that absolutely cripples, in the romantic and sexual sense, any man following that advice. That fatal flaw is the assumption that the more good feelings a man provides a woman, the closer he is to intimacy and a relationship.

Overproviding Good Feelings

This is one of those things that, when I figured it out, kinda made me slap my forehead and go, “Duh.” But even still, it took me five years to figure it out. And I’m going to give it to you in one post. You’re welcome ;) I figured it out gradually as I realized a number of things: I did better...

www.girlschase.com

 

[Marty]

Overproviding Good Feelings​

This is one of those things that, when I figured it out, kinda made me slap my forehead and go, “Duh.” But even still, it took me five years to figure it out. And I’m going to give it to you in one post. You’re welcome I figured it out gradually as I realized a number of things: I did better...

www.girlschase.com

Thank you Loverboy, that is a very helpful article. I also stumbled upon this forum post, which presumably formed the original basis of the article content, and which brings it alive with an example documented at the time of the events.

 

[Marty]

I honestly don't get those kind of request often. There must be something in your profile, text or maybe location that's making women respond this way

Possibly. But it’s happening once I move off of the app as well. Here’s an example from a couple years ago—by this time I had already moved the conversation off the app (Tinder in this case) and into a regular WhatsApp chat, so it could hardly be connected with my profile.

Girl: Drop a few photos into the chat, we can exchange pictures​

Marty: All right then, photos of each other you mean? Let’s have a look…​

Here I am in Bavaria in the summer In Portugal last February​

I’ll be delighted to see your photos, I see here in your WhatsApp profile you have such a muscular back, mmmm I can’t handle it… sorry, I am a very wild man, you’ll get used to it, but I behave very gentlemanly when meeting in person​

​

Girl: I think for the early stages of acquaintance it will be pleasant to receive a bouquet of flowers from a gallant man wildness can be discussed later​

This is me on a boat Here’s a masterclass where we baked treats​

What on Earth is happening here? I’ve explicitly followed the guidance in many articles on this site, as well as in the forum, to get sexual early in the interaction—only for the girl to whack-a-mole this attempt and push me back into the ‘nice guy’ zone. It causes me cognitive dissonance.