Same conversation, some pointers?

[Ergon]

Hey guys!

So, these past weeks I've been going out and cold approaching, both day and night. Now almost each time I go out I do at least one approach. It's kind of an improvement for me, in part because I upgraded my clothes, made a schedule and adhered to the no-fap (today 14 days in a row for the first time).

Now, in my last interactions I noticed a pattern in my conversations that probably has not been helping me. The thing is that after my openers I usually ask girls where they're from and of course they ask me where I'm from.

I make them guess or sometimes I say I'm from a country I'm clearly not from and they know I'm joking. I look slightly Latin American, but I definitely sound like it because I was born and raised there.

The problem with proceeding this way, always, is that it usually only hooks girls that are from my country, nearby, or girls that are interested in the culture -know the language or have traveled there. At Latin music bars, the Spanish books section, or cultural events this "routine" kind of works, but otherwise I can't deep dive girls or they don't seem interested at all.

I can see some of the flaws of this: Maybe revealing such a main detail about me removes all intrigue, or it sets me as an outsider, or at some places it's just out place or whatever. The difficulty, though, is that I can't seem to move conversations past the opener into deep dive and knowing about the girl without going through this "where are you from?" -"I'm from x country" , first.

I want to be more flexible, so perhaps some of you guys could give me some pointers about how to move from the opener to the deep dive? What do you guys talk about with girls personally? What questions or what topics can I talk about once I compliment a girl?

Thanks! All comments and feedback are appreciated.

 

[Marcellus]

Ergon,

Just say whatever comes up in your head. Say whatever you're thinking at that very moment.

An Example-

I usually know what to say but I'm kinda stuck right now haha, tell me about yourself?

It should allow you to get out of your head and the conversation can flow smoothly from then on.

Marcellus

 

[Ergon]

Thanks Marcellus. I been working on it these past days.

Just say whatever comes up in your head. Say whatever you're thinking at that very moment.

I think since I'm relatively new in the country the "where you from" tends to occupy most of my mind.

I usually know what to say but I'm kinda stuck right now haha, tell me about yourself?

hehe good one. That's the kind of examples I was thinking of when writing this thread. I also tried following with "how's your day going?".
I made it my goal this week to avoid the "where from" topic altogether, and say the less possible about me (if even asked).... it helped!

 

[Fuck This]

"I'm still getting to know the area. Tell me where I should be exploring"

She replies (and this clues you in on her interests) "Well you should see x museum, and y park, and catch a music performance at z auditorium"

"oh wow, I haven't been to y park before. You should show me."

 

[Bboy100]

The problem with proceeding this way, always, is that it usually only hooks girls that are from my country, nearby, or girls that are interested in the culture

Welcome to the dating world! Most everything you say will either be boring or will only appeal to a certain type of women. Obviously the former is bad. But the latter is a good thing! It screens out girls who aren't interested in you quickly, and it makes women with whom you have more in common even more attracted to you.

Now...if it just so happens that you don't care weather or not girls are interested in culture, then maybe change your conversation to something your more passionate about. But the point I'm trying to make is...no matter what you talk about, some girls will like you even more for it and others will be repelled by it. There are very few specific things you can say or do which are universally attractive. So the solution here is to steer the conversation in the direction of whatever interests you, then let the women who are incompatible with you screen themselves out.

 

[Bboy100]

The problem with proceeding this way, always, is that it usually only hooks girls that are from my country, nearby, or girls that are interested in the culture

Welcome to the dating world! Most everything you say will either be boring or will only appeal to a certain women. Obviously the former is bad. But the latter is a good thing! It screens out girls who aren't interested in you quickly, and it makes women with whom you have more in common even more attracted to you.

Now...if it just so happens that you don't care weather or not girls are interested in culture, then maybe change your conversation to something your more passionate about. But the point I'm trying to make is...no matter what you talk about, some girls will like you even more for it and others will be repelled by it. There are very few specific things you can say or do which are universally attractive. So the solution here is to steer the conversation in the direction of whatever interests you, then let the women who are incompatible with you screen themselves out.

 

[Ergon]

"I'm still getting to know the area. Tell me where I should be exploring"
She replies (and this clues you in on her interests) "Well you should see x museum, and y park, and catch a music performance at z auditorium"
"oh wow, I haven't been to y park before. You should show me."

Thanks TwoRocky, it's a good example.

Welcome to the dating world! Most everything you say will either be boring or will only appeal to a certain women. Obviously the former is bad. But the latter is a good thing! It screens out girls who aren't interested in you quickly, and it makes women with whom you have more in common even more attracted to you.

Bboy, I agree with that. There's been times I'm like an open book and the girl only gets more attracted the more I speak.
However I don't screen deliberately, I'm just unimaginative with my conversations

I been doing street cold approach on and off for a few months, but I still struggle moving things past the opener every time. However, I been thinking lately that the problem is that I don't do enough. Only two or three girls each time... so there's that.

Thanks for all the advice guys. I gotta keep my nose to the grindstone.

Ergon.

 

[Lotus]

The problem with proceeding this way, always, is that it usually only hooks girls that are from my country, nearby, or girls that are interested in the culture -know the language or have traveled there. At Latin music bars, the Spanish books section, or cultural events this "routine" kind of works, but otherwise I can't deep dive girls or they don't seem interested at all.

You're hooking them because you have found something in yourself they can relate to. Everyone has different things that interest them, therefore you'll need to dig around with different topics and questions until you find something she can relate to.

There is a lot to the deep dive, but there are a couple main categories of questions you can use to find almost anything out about a girl.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secre ... -deep-dive

Goodluck!