Self discovery and moving on

[Start_ed_young]

First three paragraphs are background, just a heads up

Alright, I’d like to start off by saying that it seems the very thing that brought me opportunities with girls, has been the same thing to unattract them. This would be my personality and the reputation I’ve built in my school. Now, a brief description of my personality would be loud, funny, ballsy, crazy, and also don’t really care about what other people feel about this. With the way I use my personality and new found confidence in school, I now have quite the reputation, a bit of a mix of fame and infamy, cause I pretty much treat the junior high as a sandbox mode for my life. Let’s just say I have fun with it.

Compared to 1 and a half years ago, my success with girls is infinitely better, but’s that is in part down to the fact that last year for a large part of the year I was shy and a full on nice guy, and spent most of the year being pushed around by the hot girls cause I straight up pedestaled that good pussy, due to the fact that I was a bit shy and ignorant on how seduction worked.basically I was a push over, nice guy that wouldn’t approach.(Haha, look at me now approach anxiety!)

Recently, i had been getting close with this Girl over the course of about a month or two. (Obviously moved too slow looking back) other major mistake I made was keeping it in my mind that she was my best option. (Another lesson learned) but regardless of these mistakes I decided to ask her out. The first time she Responded enthusiastically with a “YEA! totally, that would be fun” this was when I suggested the 2 of us get together sometime soon. I then called a few days later to discuss logistics, and she said she was really busy the next couple of weeks for the holidays. (It wasn’t total bs since it was the holidays but it was bs nonetheless) She told me she text me if she had a free day, and she never sent a text, not even a bs rejection like “yea, my schedule is looking pretty packed” just straight up froze me out. Wtf?

Today was our second day back from school and I was attempting more pickup sort of stuff, more experimental (or just stupid) then stuff I should have been doing.

Today, I went over to this other table of girls that like, hate me/actually find me entertaining, yet odd. And for some reason everyone in the lunch makes a big fucking deal about it (okay that reason is probably be when they get heated or I get heated or we both get heated, it’s likely quite entertaining to observe) I’m sort of testing out a theory based upon building a relationship built on negative energy, really just trying to see how far you can get through hate, rather than love, and I’d say if you could pull it off right you could probably be successful with this, but what do I know.

Anyway, point is, after I get up to leave his table of girls and one of my guy friends calls my name, so since I was done I head over. The girls at this table are voicing their concerns about me going over to the other table, I don’t see why they care,(and btw, the girl who ignored my date is at this table) She starts asking me what I’m even trying to do. I say have a little fun I suppose,” she says,”what is that supposed to mean?” I say, “ I don’t really know I guess” they sort of tripped me on a few questions. And Flake girl says, “ omg, your more indecisive than a girl.” And this is the statement that sparked my question.(I’ll get to it in a sec) I know that’s not a good thing, but it didn’t get to me until later which was good I think because she started showing a bit more interest again. (Asked me about my run yesterday, and what’s the farghest I’ve ever ran) and we started talking abut a more sexual topic after that not about her and I, but sexual still. But before this too, what got to mean in the moment was when she wa going to give me advice to get this other girl I was talking to, that for some reason was the only thing that I sort of felt in the moment. However I have decided that I will not pursue her anyfurther unless she practically re-mentions my date proposal.

Anyway, I believe I got a bit off topic, but my primary question of the post is how exacrly do you become more decisive, I’ve heard it’s a very important thing to know what you want, because it is masculine and attractive, if it’s questions being verbally asked to you about a more abstract and confusing topic, could u just fake or brush off the question?

Also I would like to know if my current personality could be found unattractive to many girls, and how do you really define yourself and find your own values as a man. What is the path of self discovery a person needs to take to find their truest for of personality?

Thanks in advance and sorry I got a bit off topic
- Young

 

[Smiling_Stray]

Sup, young! I myself am very familiar with the jr. high environment (this where I started pick up as well) and high school environment (just got outta there basically) so no worries, I get a sense of where you're starting off at (for your second year?).

Alright, I’d like to start off by saying that it seems the very thing that brought me opportunities with girls, has been the same thing to unattract them. This would be my personality and the reputation I’ve built in my school. Now, a brief description of my personality would be loud, funny, ballsy, crazy, and also don’t really care about what other people feel about this

First off, it's your game girls will usually judge you off of (actually, i'm finding just about everybody does) so when a rejects you she's really just saying your level of game isn't really where it needs to be for her but your personality does kinda show through it all either way so i'll tell you what I know:

Loudness can actually be good (so long as you don't go too overboard) since it makes you stand out a bit more so I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Funny, okay this one actually shocked me a bit when I first read this but that's actually something you really don't want to be to the ladies. Laughter defuses sexual tension (which you want a lot of! Like, enough to knock her socks and everything above off!), so try not be too funny around any girls you're aiming for. Although being witty is actually excusable (in good moderation).

Ballsy, the way I see it that means you could pretty much walk up to any really drop-dead girl there and just start a conversation. This is really impressive to other guys around you and most of all it gives you preselection (the deadliest and most effective kind of game) which is probably why everyone's talking about you having a pair big enough to walk over to that table of girls at lunch (been there, it's not so easy for most guys to do that. Took me the whole year but once I did I left with more numbers than usual! You just did it without a second thought, nice!).

Crazy, you mean bouncing off the walls? That's probably something to tone down a bit, yeah. otherwise, what's the worst that could happen? Then again, i'm not entirely sure what you mean by this.

No shits given? Good! That puts you on the path to a devil may care attitude which I especially helpful. Just add a little curiosity in the mix and you're all set.

Recently, i had been getting close with this Girl over the course of about a month or two. (Obviously moved too slow looking back)

Yeah, I usually give myself a month in school but that's probably even too long. I found my chances are significantly better within one week (two tops)

but regardless of these mistakes I decided to ask her out

Not a bad choice, it's always good to try your hand (it's a game of probability, you never know. You might be surprised. It's happened to a few of us. maybe more.)

I then called a few days later to discuss logistics, and she said she was really busy the next couple of weeks for the holidays. (It wasn’t total bs since it was the holidays but it was bs nonetheless) She told me she text me if she had a free day, and she never sent a text, not even a bs rejection like “yea, my schedule is looking pretty packed” just straight up froze me out. Wtf?

It's likely she wasn't bullshitting when she said yes to your date but when girls say "maybe" or "i'll let you know" (or anything to that effect) it usually means you won't be hearing from them again. In your case, I think it's likely attraction expired before you could get to the date and she just ended up going cold and going into auto rejection.

Today, I went over to this other table of girls that like, hate me/actually find me entertaining, yet odd. And for some reason everyone in the lunch makes a big fucking deal about it (okay that reason is probably be when they get heated or I get heated or we both get heated, it’s likely quite entertaining to observe) I’m sort of testing out a theory based upon building a relationship built on negative energy, really just trying to see how far you can get through hate, rather than love, and I’d say if you could pull it off right you could probably be successful with this, but what do I know.

I actually wonder the same thing, I think just the fact that you can invoke any kind of strong emotion in them (even negative) still says you're doing something right but at the same time I still wouldn't make this my goal. But in the name of knowledge, it's totally cool. Just make sure you share any of your findings on here with us!

The girls at this table are voicing their concerns about me going over to the other table, I don’t see why they care,(and btw, the girl who ignored my date is at this table) She starts asking me what I’m even trying to do.

Well, women are our greatest teachers in many ways. So If this girl is one of your friends, I would take her advice. But I would ask why she's saying what she's saying to see if she can give me a good reason.

And Flake girl says, “ omg, your more indecisive than a girl.” And this is the statement that sparked my question.(I’ll get to it in a sec) I know that’s not a good thing, but it didn’t get to me until later which was good I think because she started showing a bit more interest again.

Here might have been a good place to use a killer zinger (I'll leave a link for this one at the end) but that's just me. Either way, try not to take it too personally and for that interest she's showing: well, i'm pretty sure you don't need me to tell you that's a good thing but still: just try not to fall head over heels for her and end up chasing.

we started talking abut a more sexual topic after that not about her and I, but sexual still. But before this too, what got to mean in the moment was when she was going to give me advice to get this other girl I was talking to, that for some reason was the only thing that I sort of felt in the moment.

Girls don't give guys they like advice for how to get other girls, this is actually a sign of being friend zoned and talking about sexual things has a tendency to kill intrigue and through that, it also kills sexual tension. So, I wouldn't wait around for her to bring up the date. Mostly because girls also don't usually ask guys out because it just doesn't work that way. Your the guy, you have to take the initiative. Girls aren't usually brave enough to ask the guy out nor does society hold them to it. And her bringing the date up would basically be her asking you out. Although it does happen sometimes (although VERY rarely). In my five years of experience, I've only been asked out by a girl three times.

Anyway, I believe I got a bit off topic, but my primary question of the post is how exactly do you become more decisive, I’ve heard it’s a very important thing to know what you want, because it is masculine and attractive, if it’s questions being verbally asked to you about a more abstract and confusing topic, could u just fake or brush off the question?

Well if some asks you why your doing something, it's best to simply reply "because I want to" if they continue to ask, just stick to your guns. But if you don't know what you really want it's hard to get anything at all! Do you want fuck this girl? Do wanna date this girl and be a couple? Do you want chicken nuggets or pizza for lunch? These are things to consider XD. But no really, if you're having trouble knowing what you want i'll just tell you what I do:

Give yourself a few options, list maybe three or four (don't go too crazy with it) and pick the one that sounds the most ideal to you. If they all sound pretty solid then ask well, why do want these things. Then go with the one that you find benefits you the most.

Also I would like to know if my current personality could be found unattractive to many girls, and how do you really define yourself and find your own values as a man.

Well, people have their preferences (we are talking about personalities here) but 9/10, you should be all clear with the ladies as far as I can tell!

What is the path of self discovery a person needs to take to find their truest for of personality?

Fuck if I know, dude. I'm honestly who I am based off of what I've been through and what characters I can relate to most personality-wise and experience-wise (I'm superstitious but not really very spiritual). And you are you are. I mean dude, You literally just gave me a list of your base and basic personality traits, it seems like you already know your truest personality pretty well. But if you don't like it, that's something you only change so much but I would check out the mindset section on the main site if you really must.

Here's a few good reads you might find helpful to go over
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... stereotype
https://www.girlschase.com/content/tacti ... r-comeback
https://www.girlschase.com/content/sexua ... al-tension
https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... irls-flake

 

[Start_ed_young]

Hey wander, thanks a lot for this reply,

Honestly I’ve sort of moved on this struggle, but you did as well as anyone probably could to answer some of the questions in there.( looking back they were pretty vague/deep)

1. What I meant by crazy, was really just a different form of ballsy. But when I say crazy I mean not relating to girls, I mean like getting up mid class and walking out, when a teacher says “Where do you think your going?!” I say, “just gotta take care of something.” And leave behind the raging teacher. I mean like when I’m in the halls with friends we are actually bouncing off the walls , like throwing each other in to lockers. Stuff like that, but on the daily.

2. Not real sure what the difference between funny and witty is. Think you could clear that up?

3. When you say bringing up sexual topics is something to avoid did you mean that to be for that situation or just in general. Can’t say I’ve had any success with it personally, but I usually see Chase and Alek advising it to let them girls know what your about.

4. It’s really fantastic to hear you have experience in the junior high/ high school environment. I’ve got a problem that you would probably be familiar with. It’s relating to “Flake Girl” from this post. You see, I’ve had Some advise pretty much telling me to go for the abundance mindset and start talking to a lot more girls. I took this advise but I can’t say I feel any real connection with any of the 6-8 girls I’ve been talking to, nothing like with “flake girl”. They are attractive, but I just moved to slow I suppose. Had difficulty building that connection through controlling the conversation. But my problem isn’t with them, I’ve got an idea on how to handle that, but it’s that I can’t really get rid of flake girl since we are in the same friend circle and classes. And that’s really not ideal because what am I supposed to do when she approaches me to start more conversation, straight up ignore her? Is she attempting to get me to ask her put again. If not not can I just tell her to get the fuck out of my life, probably not.

5. Findings through that experiment I talked about in this post, like I said, if I was better with game in general I swear I could pull at least 2/3 of the girls I used this on. Here’s what’s happened: in gym, one of them is in my class. The gym is huge right? So we have this health screening and I’m with a group of my friends. Her and her friends cross our path 3 times. 2/3 times she nudges me with her elbow when passing. I think this means something but I wasn’t really sure what so I really just ignored because it seems like nothing can really go bad in that case.

6. I do this on my phone and I can’t get tha yellow quote box thing to work right on here, also thanks for the links