Seppuku's Journey into Seduction

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Thanks for the encouragement. You too, keep nailing it, you are really an inspiration and I am very keen to get my professional photos taken soon and hit up Tinder again.

I think I also benefit a lot from country specific factors -- because about 50% of the population where I live is either Chinese (or other Asian) students, or those who have graduated and got permanent residency and now work here. And as you say, tall white guys appeal to them, but I don't think it's only physical, it's that we are seen as more sexual too, since Chinese guys will be expected to approach in a very serious and conservative manner. (A generalization of course, but that might be how the women see it).

I love Asian women in their 20s and 30s, but unfortunately I am becoming too much of a specialist, I sometimes notice awkward gaps in the conversation when they say something unexpected, for instance they are born in Australia, or they are not a student or graduate or on a working holiday, or whatever. On the other hand, as a specialist you can home in on a process that works. I'm also gradually broadening my experience, like with cold reading I'm getting good at accents now, so I now sometimes ask if they're born in Australia and get a yes.

I really want to approach some different women to get out of this rut, since I feel when I approach students I am having almost the same conversations over and over, and sometimes I'm too fatigued to approach, even if she's hot. I may also give off too much of a bored / rehearsed vibe. I would be super excited if there were more Kenyan etc around here... for some reason Aussie girls just don't do it for me that much, I mean they do, but they have to be at least HB8/HB9 to get me interested, and I will often at that point feel too intimidated to approach.

Obviously I need to get these kinks out of my game and become more of a generalist, but it takes effort.

Ray

 

[Seppuku]

March 25 - second date with Bella

Lucy is now my girlfriend and we meet regularly. She is a beautiful little angel, very sensual in bed, she enjoys everything I do, and by now I do not have resistance anymore. Not sure how things were happening with the previous boyfriend (four years ago I think), but it is also confirmed that she is quite inexperienced sexually... Yet she wants to learn and she is now asking me to teach her. Well no problem darling!

We have some intermittent exchange with Bella during the week. I was thinking of inviting her on Wednesday evening (need to fill this Wednesday slot!) but waiting Tuesday to ask... But she actually came to me first on Tuesday morning:

Her: It's mid week. So need to pick up and get the momentum going
Me: Yep! Very general reminder ;-)
Her: Oh yeah!
Me: Could free myself tomorrow 7:30 pm for a dinner if you're free.

So on Wednesday evening I pick her at her place, then bring her to the Kempinski hotel, the Lounge bar. We have some good time over a glass of cider beer and food. Deep dive our stories. Topics she brings: my taste for classical music - what turns me on / off with a girl. I do some degree of touching. My hand on her leg or around her waist. When she takes my hand in hers she caress it in a very sensual way. When she laughs she briefly put her head on my shoulder. When we're done I say "let's move" I say and we stand up. I pay the bill then we leave.

I don't mention anything about where we go. We're in the car and at some point she tells me "we could go by this way?" I am about to turn the other way "Well I suggest you come to my place now and we'll have a few videos on youtube over a glass of white wine" no objection.

Next, we're on my sofa with a glass of white wine and watching youtube videos of classical music. We're side by side, my hand is over her shoulder. At some point I turn my head her way and approach my lips from her cheek and wait. She turns her head progressively and her lips are facing mine then I go for the kiss. We watch more videos and have more kisses. My hand is running lightly on her chest and briefly over her boobs.

Next we're both lying on the sofa side to side, kissing. "As a man I could not help noticing these lovely woman charms" she giggles. My hands under her shirt and on her boobs. "Pure scientific investigation. Advancing Mankind's knowledge" she giggles "I did not say anything about Womankind's knowledge!" My hand under her trousers and pants, on her bare ass "As you know this part of women's anatomy gathers a lot a male attention" she giggles more. "My hand is close to the military zone" as I progress my hand towards her pussy, from behind. "You're behind enemy lines!" We're both laughing. "How about advancing Womankind's knowledge now?" I unbutton my shirt and she start caressing my chest and body hair. She's very soft and caring. I unfasten my belt and unbutton my top trousers button then unzip. Her hand is on my dick via the pants and she's grabbing it and appreciating the shape.

It goes on and on. I will not get her to undress or even finger her. It appears she still has a little bit of her period going on so she won't let me touch. She gets to caress my dick and me to suck her boobs, which she obviously enjoy. "One fact about me, I don't start what I can't finish" OK fine, we had two fun hours on this sofa and I finally drive her home.

The next day she texts me:

Her: thank you for the lovely night. I enjoyed with you
Me: Science made some progress last night
Her: Hahaha
Me: Hopefully womankind's knowledge did too
Her: We'll never know when womankind will start exploring beyond what you imagine
Me: I have imagination!
Her: For now I want you to feel you're desired, cared for and respected at the same time
Me: Haha nice program lol!

To be perfectly objective, Bella is not as pretty as the girls I've been dating, but she is still cute, has a lot of personal charm and a very warm personality. The contact went very well and very smoothly in all our interactions and I suspect a very passionate nature. Let us see! I expect a follow up and some very hot action soon.

 

[Seppuku]

April 4th - frame battles and more girls

Well this is not just about learning to pick up girls, it's also about setting the relationships right from the start where you want them to be.

So on Sunday 29th, as we're texting to set up the details of our regular Sunday meet, I get a case where Lucy asks me my opinion on how we should proceed, then ends up doing the exact opposite of what I suggested. No need to be too specific here about the exact details of the topic, this is something I cannot let pass. As the afternoon unfolded she kept informing me on how she was doing things her way anyway in the face of my disapproval, and infuriating me in the process. It ended badly. As she was waiting the taxi to come, I told her that this does not work with me, and enough for today, i.e. meeting cancelled. I then observed a very strict silence henceforth. This is Drexel's Scott "power of the next".

In the meantime, things were getting hotter with Bella. On the 30th as our texting was approaching boiling point, I decide to improvise a same evening meet and pick her at her place at 9:50 pm, then bring her home. It finally turned into the expected fantastic fuck that our previous encounters were leading to [my LR]. When I drive her back I am trying to set the frame for an FWB type of relation. "You know my personal situation now, I'm not in a position to propose something else", "It's OK darling whatever time you can spend with me I will be happy to have". She seems very cool.

on Tuesday, the 31st, I was trying to get a new girl for a meeting Wednesday night, and I went fishing on WeChat and Badoo. I came up with 3 new contacts and phone numbers. Out of the three, one of them seemed keenly interested but I quickly find out that her logistics are incompatible with mine. The only time she would really have is on Friday, but this is my devoted Kids day. I understand a bit late that we're not going to be able to meet. She probably does not understand it and keep chasing me all the rest of the week, calling me randomly on Viber at anytime of day or evening.

So on Wednesday evening (the slot I am trying to fill) the only option is Bella. Well no problem with that after the fantastic fuck of Monday. We start chatting in the early evening, then after 9 she asks me how I plan to occupy myself this evening. "Well, that's open for discussion ;-)" This was an opening, and on this one I would like her to come back with enthusiasm. She does not, and I don't get more explicit (don't want to be looking chasing for sex). So the attempt falls down.

On Thursday morning I suggest Bella a late meeting for Friday evening - like the 10:30pm+ night slot. She seems OK. Then in the afternoon, after 4 days of complete silence, guess who is back... I was already, at this point in time, considering replacing her. But Lucy is back on Viber with an emotional story about her colleague, and how depressed she is about it... But no mention of our fight. I engage the subject "If a woman is my girlfriend she accepts my authority". We discuss this over, but I think she has got the message. Thank you Drexel Scott.

So now complete change in plans. On Friday now it is planned that I pick Lucy mid morning and bring her home... Am I going to be fucking two girls the same day? But Bella is now silent. Strange, considering that she has been texting we continuously every morning and every evening of each day since we friended on WeChat. OK darling, I won't be chasing you for sex now. I strongly suspect that she is trying to invert the frame now. So I stay silent as well. On Friday morning I bring Lucy home as planned. She is now formally introduced to my children as my girlfriend and they have already accepted her. They are busy playing some games. I bring Lucy in my bedroom and make love to her for more than two hours. No drama whatsoever regarding last Sunday so she has got the message right now and she seems more in love than ever. It is my first time ever to handle a girl crisis this way and it works wonders. Although it was my plan to hold on my ejaculation with Luz (blaming it on the condom) and save it for Bella later, it turns out that I can't hold it and blows it off at the end of two athletic hours with Lucy. I feel now damn empty and wonder what I am going to do with Bella later. But Bella is still silent and I stay silent as well so finally there will not be a second fuck this day.

Bella is finally back to me on Saturday. She wants to make me feel guilty about not texting me and says how she was expecting news from me and finally did nothing of the weekend. I tell her that I was assuming that she got better plans for the friday evening. Behind the scene she is trying to change the frame of the interaction and betaize me as the chaser. Well no luck babe, I am not afraid to lose you.

Me: my turn to make up for lost evening yesterday. Tonight if you want
Her: Thanks darling. Hopefully I still got my senses by 9pm
Me: Your senses lol. I can also work on keeping your senses well awake ;-) Trust me lol
Her: Lol!!!

She will finally decline. To her credit she wakes up at 4:30 pm. But considering what happened it was probably also her woman honor to decline.

Now I am unsure what to do with her. I have my Wednesday and Saturday invitations declined. The Friday invitation I did not lead hard. I don't want to be chasing her for sex and give in to her attempt at changing the frame. Let us see what happens. Very likely it is going to die out. It is alright, will need to bring another girl in instead.


And that's not all. On Saturday 28 March I tried texting Joy, just to check the vibe. Joy is the girl I have dated once but which went nowhere. I suspect she still has hopes to get her husband back after 6 years of separation. And the same day, she actually greeted me warmly. After the fight with Lucy on Sunday I resume texting with Joy and she expresses hope to meet me before her vacation later in April. And my mistake is to rush into proposing a date for Saturday 4. We got in touch on Tuesday but string from Wednesday she just stopped reading my messages (no read receipt on Whatsapp). For sure our earlier interaction was not a straight line, but here I just gave in too easily to her demand for a date. In view of her lack of response I simply did not insist. It is past time I label her a time waster.

 

[Seppuku]

April 14th - more Joy

Just by the time I am decided to call her a time waster, Joy comes back to me by text. It's April 7th. We had agreed on a date on the 5th, but as she did not reply to my anti flake text I did not recontact her to set the details of the date... And therefore it did not happen. After my anti flake message (On April 4th) had remained unanswered I remained full radio silence.

But here she is, now, on April 7th, back to me on my Whatsapp again. I mention that she is not answering my messages. Some excuse. She starts asking me about my plans on Thursday, on Friday, etc... "Are you asking me out?" Then she pushes again the idea of meeting before she leaves for vacation. Again, the Saturday is her usual evening off. "Good idea" I say, but avoid getting specific, then go silent. The same evening, she contacts me and ask if I want to watch a movie... and if I'm free tonight. Improvised date, sounds good. I deflect the idea of a movie (bad for dating lol) then arrange for a drink at Kempinski hotel instead. We have a nice date there. There is a band playing at the Lounge bar, we listen to the music while drinking cocktails, and dance a little bit. I touch her (my usual) and she receives my touch very well, and follows my lead when I take her by the hands and guide her. After that, as we reach the car I suggest we go having some cherries in my home... But answer is "next time". I kiss her before we live.

The next day I tease her with my cooking, sending pictures. She apparently likes a man who can cook. "But I like when the girl cooks, too". She qualifies. It's around 9 and I am thinking of suggesting she comes to my place and eat with me. I send a text to engage her... but that day she won't answer until much later when it's too late. The idea is good, though. Over the next few days I apply long text silences whenever possible - I let her come to me first as far as possible. At the beginning she appears a bit frustrated but I do not justify myself.

On Saturday 13th I cook again and tease her, sending pics of my meals... When I meet her in the Pearl I suggest she comes eating at my home. "Next time" again. Ok... miserable fail. She's dressed very sexy with a tight jean with holes, and a shirt exposing her shoulders. We try the Radisson Blu but the bars there are not good. We end up at the Kempinski again for a quick drink. My hands were all over her, her shoulders, her hair, her neck, her legs, around her shoulders, and she had her head on my shoulder. Then I drive her home - I have already a failed attempt at bringing her home earlier so I won't venture another attempt now. The following day I do not text her at all, and she does not. Its only on Monday late evening that she sends me a short video of herself with friends. I send her a video of me playing guitar. We chat, exchange selfies and she expresses interest at seeing me after her vacations. "I won't forget you" she says. And we agree that we will continue to see each others when she comes back.

So this is not over... There should be some follow up - after her one month vacation.


Now the frames involved.

She was telling me all the time that she was not dating, only going out with her aunties... "The Good Girl". Yet in the last date she admitted having dated some foreigners. And the first time we got in contact was by her initiative, in Badoo, she was asking me right away if I was available the same evening for going out. Not the behavior of someone unused to dating. I suspect that from the very first but then I was fooled by her strong denials. The long time it took to start up our interaction was due, I believe, by some emotional involvement with someone else... very likely on the way out, and hence her new availability to me. She nevertheless keeps denying this.

She had a strong "don't trust men" frame. "No playboy, ha?" Well darling no of course, lol. Although I did not say that explicitly, I answered with my superdad frame to give me an aura of seriousness and responsibility. So very early I gave in to the frame and responded by putting myself in the good boy mode. My own "bring you home" frame was too weak. So I slowly gave in to her "good girl seek good boy" frame way too easily, and thus weakened my own frame. Therefore no lay.

She was also strong on "where are we going" and inquired systematically about the planned location of the date. Little room for improvisation. I gave in to this. She actually did not care much about the place, as long as she knew in advance what the plan was.

Now I did not do everything wrong. I did not answer to her game in a supplicating way. I kept my cool and maintained enough silences, in an unpredictable way, and had her come back to me several times. I think I managed to keep a sexy outlook overall, and made myself a challenge, to some extent. She had to put work. She is suspecting I am having more dates, and I showed her i was not afraid to lose her. Which is good, she knows I can walk any time and keep options open, so she will have to invest more.

I will need to watch my frame. My mistake was to take her frame seriously. I could have used derision and humor and just ignored it. For the bring back home thing, I need to come from a much stronger perspective. Did not have the issue with my previous lays. For the "where are we going" I could have just given some answer to her logical brain then take her wherever.

 

[Seppuku]

April 18th - Loss of momentum

Nothing is ever granted in life. It is April 18th and all the momentum that I pulled in the last 3 months is starting to fall flat again.

There is Lucy, my current girlfriend. Beautiful and feminine, soft and caring. Inexperienced and shy in bed. Trust me guys I am teaching her lol and as far as I can see she likes it a lot. But the lack of initiative on her part, if we cannot correct it, is likely to make me become bored after some time. In addition there are some uncertainties over the renewal of her working contract here so she could end up back in the Philippines in about a month time. Let us see. And, in addition, I want to maintain a secondary girlfriend on the side.

Isabella (Bella) is now on the way out. After our memorable sexual encounter she tried to make me chasing, and I maintained my strong frame. So, although we maintained our hilarious text interaction, full of sexual humor, we never got to meet again. And it is more and more unlikely that we will meet.

Joy is this woman I am very keen on. We dated a few times. In the first 3 months we had a dotted line interaction but it seems she suddenly became available in the last two weeks. I was unable to pull off a lay partly because I got myself caught into her frame, which weakened mine. This is probably not over... But she is now off the country for one month.

On the new influx, I had little luck recently.

Christine is this girl I met on WeChat on march 31st. 25 years old waitress in a restaurant. Very pretty, and she was very much into me although we never met face to face. But her circumstances are very difficult for a meeting on weekdays. And on weekends I usually spend my time with my children. So we never got to meet. She pursued me for a while... but now she is off.

Paula popped into my life on April 11th. I had seen her very attractive profile pictures on Badoo during the week but had not initiated contact yet. So, on 11th when I noticed that she just browsed through my profile, I immediately engage her with a "Good morning", and she answers. Within 10 minutes of chatting she asks me if I am available right now for a meet. And within 30 minutes I find myself in an instant date with her. She is beautiful. Long hair and very sexy beautiful eyes. Slender and feminine shapes. It turns out that her logistics are very difficult. She leaves 45 minutes away from Doha and her company maintains a strict 10pm curfew. So long for weekdays evening meets. On weekends, daytime, I am spending time with my children. And right now no way I can pull her to my home as my children are there today and are already awake. We have a breakfast together then I put her in a taxi. After that, it was off.

Van is a pretty 24 yrs old filipina, right now living in the Philippines. On April 11th I was browsing profiles there, and she noticed I viewed her. She contacted me first and we start chatting, then exchanged numbers and continued on whatsapp. I communicated preselection to her. I engaged her on the qualities she is looking in a man. "Someone who is not a cheater". "How about if he makes you feel desired? You feel like a woman when you are in his arms" "That's it. And not a cheater" "Well I find that ladies tend to like the guys that all other ladies like. Then if the other ladies like your man, how are you going to keep him away from temptation?" And here we go, preselection. Her answer is the the strength needs to come from him. I don't argue further and then push the rest of my frame. "For me the girl should 1. Be a beauty, 2. Be hot in bed, and 3. Be feminine and caring" Here we go, how do you deal with this? She complies with "I think if I love my partner I can be that three". Wow was not expecting that much. She complies more on discussion of values. Then I send her the pics of 4 women I dated. All of them super beautiful. 3 filipinas and 1 kenyan. Now I'm preselected! We had more chats later in the week. It turns out that she is currently applying for a job in Qatar and she could end up here in a few months. Yet in the mean time it's a virtual relationship.

I can also mention Maricel, met on April 12th on WeChat. She seemed initially interested but after some chatting she turned off - somehow I think she autorejected.

Aside the online world, I had two interesting live interactions in Carrefour the local hypermarket.

On April 7th I was doing groceries there, when I see a Philippines woman, maybe mid thirties with an appetizing round back side. She's looking at some piece of food. I approach and ask directly "Is it good?" I have my slow smile. She looks at me and sends me a large and warm smile. "I don't know" We start chatting. Her name is Anne, she is working in a luggage shop in the city center. I introduce myself as Pierre. I really see myself fucking this wonderful backside of hers. Yet I did not ask her phone. Right after that I felt a super energy to approach more girls but did not see another opportunity.

On April 16th, this sexy cashier, Ann, is now asking customers to fill a survey at the cash counter. She is the one I already mentioned in my post dated January 30th. Since then we had other brief sexy chats. She recognizes me and smiles. "You want my phone number?" I ask. She laughs and ask "What is your nationality?" "I'm from the Philippines" (wink) "A handsome Filipino!" we both laugh. "OK I'm french". She is still on her survey "How often do you come to Carrefour?" she has already ticked "weekly". "More than that! I do not see only you" I look at the cashier girl and tell her about Ann "she wants to know if I'm seeing other girls lol" laughs. She asks my name, I ask hers... But I fail to ask her number.

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

My brother! Solid approaching!! So easy when you set your mind to it

Actually there is this super cute Aussie blonde in a bakery where I take my children, seem to recall doing my standard thing which is to engage her personally, compliment her and introduce myself the first time... second time a month later (after school hols) I could not quite remember if it was her, but she remembered me and was all flirty and investing and qualifying herself... and I was too slow to pull the trigger and she got stolen away by arrival of other customers... oh damn damn damn, but it's not only you, it's hard to get into the habit of pushing for dates. However, the sooner you do it the better off you'll be See this post from when I was struggling with the issue:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=8232&start=100#p45179

Why don't u try some direct opener just for fun I also recommend Sasha Daygame's recently released ebook. Those guys advocate doing only direct openers and have a lot of info about smashing through social fear and fear of rejection and approach anxiety generally, as well as being in the moment and having fun and being your uncensored self.

Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hey Ray, thanks!

Your post was an interesting read, and so true, especially point 1 waiting for the "right" opportunity. On the spot, I was playful, sexy, charming and she was very much in... The interaction just happened, and asking her contact details was simply not on my mind... until 5 seconds after I left her "Shit! how stupid of me"...

I do opportunistic approach very easily and naturally, that is, whenever there are circumstances giving me a natural reason to engage conversation. That's indirect most of the time. On daygame one of my sticking point is transition from conversation to setting date and getting contact details. I do not have this issue at all on online game where I never lose track of the end goal. Once the date is in the loop, I have some reasonable idea to handle the rest of the process, that's what I have been working on in the last 6 months!

Was also very interested in your handling of the "date from hell" lol. You resisted very well all her attempts to destabilize you. She's not used to that obviously and in addition you took the initiative to break, so she later chased you like crazy by text. But better stay away from someone like that.

Although not that extreme, I faced something somehow similar earlier this year:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=8805#p45027

She texted me several time after that but I kept a distance.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

The other thing that is topical is I failed to grab that other girl's no. during the date from hell, while I had her isolated.
Ray

 

[Seppuku]

April 27th - Becoming a jerk

This Saturday I wanted to shop some swimwear for my girlfriend Lucy. As strange as it may seems to us westerners, asian girls are not so much into beaches, pools, sunbath etc... and they feel some sort of shame to expose their body publicly the way western girls do. Yet I would like her to join us at the Ritz Carlton pool where I take my kids every week, and shorts and tee shirt would not do there for her. We're in the mall but when I mention about buying swimwear she says she does not like, and when I insist she stubbornly refuses. The stubbornness ends up making me angry. When we part that day I text her that I'm disappointed.

Then there is Bella. We had that wonderful sofa fuck about 4 weeks ago. Then it went into frame battles. Don't want to sacrifice my Friday evening with my kids to meet her, so I tried again and again to push the evening fuck date on weekdays, knowing that she wakes up at 4:30 am for work. She would excuse herself somehow, then I would stay strictly silent until she approaches me again by text few days later, and the whole story starts again. To her credit, she diligently and patiently chased me consistently for 4 weeks... Yet I kept my position, she kept hers, and the next fuck did not happen. Her last attempt was this Friday. Early morning she texts me and excuse herself that she did not text me for a while (haha, it was actually me who was silent the last 4 weeks, and her chasing). After some small talk she proposes a breakfast in town, her treat. Great idea. I ask her to arrange her own transportation because my car is not available today. That's probably too much. She answers that her usual taxi drivers are not available either and says it's better to push it for another day. I reply, "Mission impossible".

Before that, there was Nicky. We had a week-end without much texting, then on Monday (her off day) she texts me she's sick so we can't meet. I interpret as, either she's really sick, or she's taking an excuse to date some other guy. Whatever (i was already double dating with Lucy at that time), I leave her in strict radio silence and after 4 days she comes back with an upset text "you disappeared" then drama that I did not take some news. After that it was over.

It is a mentality shift "date on my terms, or go". It is definitely a much better position than "I accept all your terms unconditionally as long as I stand a chance to fuck" - I have been guilty of this in the past. The question is what is the right dose of jerkiness. At what point is this costing me lays?

I can see it on new prospects. The online sites are giving me a constant stream of new prospects. Currently there is A. and L.

A. is a bit delicate to handle, the "I cannot trust men" many years single case. Although I complimented her on her "very kissable cheeks" and warm smile, I also joked about her nose. A word of advice, with asian woman the nose is no joking matters, lol, they feel inferior to european women regarding this and usually hate their flat nose. Lack of calibration of my part, and she went silent. BUT I did not revert to her either. Either she come back to me, or the interaction is gone.

L. is a young woman that I am not so keen about, but she seems very much into me. She hints at meeting on coming Friday morning. I propose 9am. She asks why I'm interested in her. I tell her that I don't know that yet, I will tell her after we met. She says we'll see. I ask her to confirm me by Tuesday. She's been silent since then.

And before there was P. (my instant date of two weeks ago), and several more. And as a matter of fact, I did not have a secondary fuck since Bella 4 weeks ago.

So, at what time this new mindset is costing me lays? I guess I will have to learn to calibrate a bit.

 

[Seppuku]

May 6th - Date with Nola

It's been some time that I did not secure a date. I am concerned that part of this is because of some shift in my own mentality, and maybe as a result of my recent (very relative) success I am raising my standards and reducing my attainability. Yet I don't think I am experienced enough to do that, and at this point it is clearly costing me dates and lays. Also, I am now in a much more comfortable position than I was back in January, with a beautiful girlfriend that I am seeing regularly. Yet this situation is not meant to last as my girlfriend is due to return to the Philippines by the end of the month after her contract ends. What happens to our relationship after that is unknown, and I will be back to square one.

So, it is time that I kick my own ass and move. Secure some new dates (and hopefully new lays), continue to progress in my learning curve, reign in my mentality and attainability shift.

The first thing is to free up some time. Lately I've been meeting my girlfriend three of four times a week, as opposed to once a week when we started. Difficult to reverse the trend without causing her some dramas. Something to think about carefully next time!

Lately the online dating has given me a stream of new contacts. My latest two are Nola, and A. , both of them seemingly very much into me. A. is more pretty, but at the same time it turns out that she is subject to a 10pm curfew (some of the stupid things that are common place in Qatar) which is going to make difficult logistics.

Nola is 36. We get a match on Badoo on April 30, and I immediately text her a "good day to you and happy week end", and start chatting her. It turns out that she's not using her real picture nor real name. I will get to know later that she protects her anonymity as many of her professional relationships are in Badoo too. We quickly switch to whatsapp and on May 1st we exchange many pictures and chats throughout the day.

On May 6 I decide to shake my ass and move on with her. I tell my girlfriend that I have a business dinner and free up the evening. Well if I don't want to have to lie next time it is best not getting my gf used to meeting up 4 times a week. Then I initiate a chat with Nola. After a little exchange I throw "we should meet some time". She agrees and demands that we go a place where she's never been. OMG. That can turn into a debate about the place, and from my experience it is best not to date girls on places where I have never been - too much unknown. Will have to maneuver. I suggest the Strata bar (my favorite) and send her a pic of the stunning night city view from there. She says she's already been there. OK my next (and last) best choice is the Kempinski Lounge bar. I do not ask her and tell her "I have a better idea" then give her appointment at the W hotel at 9:30 the same evening. She expresses concern that we might be going at the Wahm bar there but I tell her it's not here and keep it mysterious. Then switch the conversation "We'll drink to the health of our glorious bosses lol". No more questions on the place. Later in the afternoon she sends me an anti flake text (lol) and tell her that I am really counting on seeing her tonight.

We meet at the W at 9:30pm then switch to the Kempinski (which is across the street). She is somewhat chubby, not nearly as pretty as the girls I went out with lately, but still cute, and wears sexy glasses. And there are these voluptuous woman shapes that I can really take care of ;-) As usual I take her hand immediately within a minute into our first face to face meet. I can tell she likes it. The Lounge bar is not too busy tonight, we sit side by side (my favorite way as it allows me to touch her and take her in my arms). We order food and drink and start chatting. She is excited, speaks most of the time. She's separated for 8 years from a husband with which she has two daughters 13 and 9. Her work experience in Qatar turned out to be a good opportunity for her as she managed to establish a name and reputation for herself professionally. She'll return to the Philippines soon but with plans to return here on a business visa where she will work independently on the business development of another firm. At some point she starts commenting on the way other girls in the room are dressed (sexy or not sexy...) and says "I hope you don't get ideas - I am straight!" I smile and answer "Oh no!!! Don't tell me this!" "Why?" "I don't do straight girls lol!" we both laugh.

That's for the deep diving. Meantime, I start my touch routine. I touch her hand, legs, the bottom of her back, her hair, her neck, her belly. When she shows me her high heels (4 inches) I take the chance to caress her foot. That's the thing about taking her hand immediately into our first face to face, it makes the whole touch routine flow naturally later on. I do all this touching naturally during the conversation as I deep dive her. When properly done it can be escalated up to touching her ass and boobs "casually" as if it was natural and still make her laugh about it (I did it with Nicky and Julie) - you just wrap it up with a sexy comment on she side. It's my way of communicating I'm a sexual man. All the girls I dated (maybe except one, Renee, which was a non compliant and defiant woman) loved it. She likes it and touches me very much, she leans into me and lay her head on my shoulder when she laughs.

It's now getting late (past midnight)and we both had long days. And both work tomorrow. Best to leave it here for tonight. While I drive her back I caress her thigh up and down, while telling her "Just taking advantage in the situation, hope you don't mind" with my sexy smiling voice and self confidence. Smiles. She has her hand on mine and tells me "you have a very soft skin". I kiss her before we part. We'll see about moving this to the next stage.

 

[Seppuku]

June 10: Pause

Well too much is happening in my life now.

* My girlfriend Lucy was due to return to the Philippines for good and we spent a lot of time together and the kids (who liked her). She eventually left the country on June 5th.
* Ramadan will start next week and no way to find an open bar for a month.
* My ex wife will also come next week and no way to bring a girl home.
* We will all return to France, and I will stay there briefly before heading to the Philippines for two weeks holiday with my girlfriend.
* Then back in Doha planned around July 26th

So that makes for a long pause in my learning process. When I'm back, starting from August, I won't have the kids anymore and that will simplify my logistics a lot. But I will have to start again all the process. And I expect to be a bit rusty at first. Let's see!

 

[Seppuku]

July 26: Back to Doha!

And here I am, back to Doha, with a new living style and a great momentum building up. My children returned to their mum's custody so now I'm here on my own. Of course as a dad I miss them and my lively living style with them... But on the point of view of pickup the logistics has now simplified drastically. In addition my girlfriend Lucy has now returned to the Philippines, for good. It's now up to me to fill up all this free time with attractive members of the opposite sex!

And the great news is that momentum is already building up quickly.

The week before my departure in summer holidays I had two meaningful interactions with girls on WeChat. Plus, two of the same old popping back into my Whatsapp. Again, Filipinas... Well I'm becoming a specialist but no complain, they are usually sexy and very nice persons, and I already had hot sex with a few of them!

• * Maria is 32, mother of two, working in Dubai but on a visit here in Doha to find a new job. We got a date, and met once for post dinner drinks. I took her to the Strata bar (my favorite spot, just next to my home), work my usual stuff which is deep diving and gradual touch, and I notice her excitement increase as we speak. My ex wife was visiting us at home so no way I could take her back home, and I explain it to her. We leave on a promising kiss, and since then she's been texting me pretty much every day. I guess she wants to keep me warm as she has plans to resign in Dubai and come working in Doha.
  
  * Leah is a promising interaction. Unfortunately we were not able to go out before I left since it was Ramadan then (all bars closed) but she kept texting me for a full month - after that it was her turn to be in vacation. It's a promising lead, let's see what happens when she's back of holidays... Probably next week.
  
  * Maria 2 is a 34 years old I met on Badoo back in November. At that time our meeting attempt failed at the last minute... Later on (in March?), she recontacted me and we managed to set up a minidate (45 minutes eating a pizza). I did not pursue because her logistics seemed very difficult (she had one off day once evry two weeks, and otherwise working all evenings and weekends... Crazy!). And here she is now, in July, back on my Whatsapp.
  
  * Then there is Joy, again. I've already written several posts on her. She is back to me in July, a pretty emotional outburst where she's outright jealous when I mention about my housemaid, then she sends me very sexy pictures of her (without me asking) and tries to make me jealous by implyig she's dating. She keeps asking me when I'm back.

The two Marias... Not their real name of course (like any of the names mentioned here) but they happen to have the same first name. Let's call them Maria, and Maria 2 from now on.

More about Joy. We've been out three times already and I have failed to lead her to bed so far. She has a strong "I don't trust men" frame, and hidden behind this is "I know you're dating lots of girls, and I want exclusivity". Last time we met, I told her to stop spying me on Badoo... "But I don't have a Badoo account!" she said - although we indeed met on Badoo lol. Girls... I gave more thought to this. Looking back on my Viber, Joanne (my date in December 2014) had sent me picture back then, and oh surprise, here is Joy, Joanne and another girl on a picture together. So they know each other. And its' about that time that Joy initiated our interaction in Badoo. She was like "what do you do tonight?" and although I told her that I already had plans, she kept insisting "let's meet tonight" like crazy. So my theory goes, she someone knew Joanne was dating me - most likely she bragged about it - and that gave me preselection and jealousy effect on Joy. That's why she initially hit on me like crazy. And that's also why she has this "I don't trust men" barrier on her, like she knows from the beginning that I'm dating some other girls.

So that's the situation when I'm back from holidays, end of June... No concrete lay in sight but some promising dynamics going on.

Since then, there has been developments but I keep that for another post!

 

[Seppuku]

July 2015: two weeks in the Philippines

A quick note about my July trip to the Philippines. My best vacations in a very long time. What a lovely country! Beautiful nature, nice beaches!

At the same time, the cost of life is very cheap by western standards. A large two bedrooms in Cebu would be around 350 USD a month to rent. I had a fairly good lunch in a food court for 4 USD. My 3 stars hotel room in a central location of Cebu cost me 75 USD a night - and it was a suite, not the entry level room. See Intramuros Manila, or Cebu city, for historic sight seeing. See Palawan, El Nido, Panglao island, Malapascua (among others) for resorts, diving, and beaches.

On the woman side, it's just crazy! I was all the time with my girlfriend (and happily making love to her twice a day) so I never had a chance to "try", but there is definitely something for the middle age white guy. In two weeks I got 53 matches in Tinder and 75 in Badoo (although the number of likes I got was three times higher than that). Crazy, much more than I can handle. The potential for dating, there, is huge.

Be careful of the ladyboys, though. They can be spotted easily most of the times, with a bit of training, but sometimes it's harder to detect. In Tinder or other online sites, if the girl hits you directly "You want to hang out?" chances are it's a ladyboy. A woman would initiate more likely with "Hi" then expect you to take the lead.

One anecdote, I was once alone about one hour in a shopping mall, waiting for my girlfriend to call me, and I was directly approached by a girl. To be fair she was not pretty but I have to respect the courage it takes, specially for a girl. Although my first gut reaction was to brush her off, I controlled it and took her for a quick drink in a cafe... Until my girlfriend arrived lol.

Overall, great time there! I am seriously considering taking some time off there when I leave Qatar for good. I also want to try a week vacation there, but without girlfriend this time!

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

hey Seppuku mate, it's great to see some activity, I thought of you the other day when I directed a dude to check out your touch routine, which you helpfully described in a recent journal post... I see my kids once or twice a week, and I guess you must be missing yours quite a lot. Anyway, I took a vacation away from the kids for 2.5wks in Japan to practice game and it was totally awesome. I got laid with a new chick and with a regular GF, also had several makeouts and many FU (in which I learned a LOT).

Around the start of this year I was very keen to go to Phillipines myself, I started learning the language ("maganda ka" = "you are beautiful", I have forgotten the rest)... but my passport had expired, I couldn't get the money together, and I couldn't get time off work, so the planets did not align. I will certainly go there at some point in the future.

Right at the moment I'm not actively dating, which is a real PITA because my skills are dropping, but I am seeing a beautiful Vietnamese girl whom I've called Leticia in my reports. She is staying over most weekends, she is as horny as hell (despite being sexually inexperienced and devoutly religious, she has experienced something of an awakening it seems), she also gets on well with my kids, helps with the housework and so on. So the frustration of not dating or approaching is bearable for the time being.

Anyway, cheers, I'm looking forward to hearing more about your exploits.

Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Hello Ray!

Thanks for stopping by ;-)

Yes, I read a bit of your adventures in Japan ;-)

What you describes with Leticia remind me of my girlfriend Lucy... Very inexperienced at first, but I'm proud to say that she's been catching up a lot recently lol ;-) One day they meet a guy that makes them understand that sex is a greatly enjoyable experience, healthy and natural, and nothing to be ashamed about... Once they realize this, they skyrocket ;-)

And same, the last three months before vacations I become more and more involved with her, which have curved down my former dating rate... Now starting to resume, I have three dates still to be reported here lol.

Touch routine... I'm just amazed to realize how much girls loved to be touched, even by a guy they never met before. Done with calm and confidence, and in the right order, there is almost no limit to what can be done. Recently, what I like to do is to build some tension (no contact, little smile) before releasing it with some touch.

I was worried too about losing skills, but it actually comes back quickly as you will realize as soon as you regain some free time for yourself.

Cheers!
Seppuku

 

[Seppuku]

August 2 to August 12: Maria 2

Got some catchup to do to present day. Here we go!

As pointed previously at that point in time there were two women with the same first name gravitating around me, let's call them Maria.

Background
Maria 2 was chronologically the first one, although I suspect the other one will matter more very soon. I met her on Badoo back in November last year and after some initial chit chat we agreed on a quick meeting on a Saturday morning... And it failed miserably because until the last minute she was still unable to explain where should I pick her up. Where she got me upset, is when she started on the mode "it's ok, if you don't like come near my home, I will not go, better for me to sleep again". That's emotional blackmailing, thank you, and she did not appreciate the fact that I was about to leave my kids on their own for two hours in order to see her. So, bye bye, and we did not meet then.

Yet in spite she kept popping up on my telephone every once in a while. We managed to have a quick 45 minutes mini date in February when she was on a break from her job. Very pretty woman, 34 years old, sexy lips and black hair, some naughty almond eyes but at the same time very shy. Her logistics were nearly impossible, working all evenings and only one day off every two weeks... So I did not pursue.

But she kept coming back at me, in May, and in July while I was away.

August 2
And here I am at home, on August 2, after a day of work, with the perspective of spending an evening on my own watching a movie, when I receive a missed call from Maria 2. I call her back and we catch up a bit. Her logistics have improved a bit, she's now off one full day every week... which happens to be today. I setup a date for the same evening, some post dinner drinks.

I pick her up at 9pm. She's very pretty, as described above, and some womanly shapes. But super shy. In the car she's excited and jiggling all the time, but constantly looking away "I am so nervous huhuhu!" I have to fight my way to have her hand in mine while I drive. We arrive at the Kempinski Lounge (one of my favorite date spots) and share some snacks and drinks. The music is very loud, making it harder to talk. I manage to deep dive her a little bit. I know I wont take her in my home until she gets more comfortable with me, and that will take time given her shyness. It's almost 12, time to return. In the car I hold her hand all the time. When we separate she escapes my kiss attempt.

Whew! Very pretty, feminine and cute but it's going to require time and patience.

The next day she viber message me and will drop me a note systematically every day of the week. We agree on meeting the following Sunday (on her off day) and watch the latest "Mission Impossible" at 6:30 pm. This lady does not take taxi alone in Doha so I will pick her again at her accommodation.

August 9
So on August 9, I take her at her place at around 5:30 pm. In the car, same as last week, she's still nervous, giggling and preening herself, and looks away. I wrongly expected it would be better the second time. "Still shy?" I take her hand. It gets a little bit better after we start talking. When we reach my area, I park in my underground lot like I've done with so many girls before. My goal is to make her used to the idea of my place, plus in case of need it become super easy to take her home. I explain to her that we'll walk to the City Center Mall (very frankly a 5 minutes walk, I did it with my two children so many times without complaint).

She does not like it. Round of bad mood and complains, she walks behind me. We reach the cinema, it's a bit early so we go to a cafe. She's silent and does not talk now, and looks away (this time, out of bad mood), and I ignore her bad mood. Next we're in the cinema, and I still ignore her. Towards the end I touch her on purpose with my elbow. She smiles. After the movie it gets better. We go to the nearby Mariott hotel, there is a decent italian restaurant there. On the way, I kid her "OMG! Where is he taking me?".

In the restaurant the relation normalizes. We get to talk. I ask her, "what was this bad mood?" "Because you could have parked in the city center, and instead you make me walk". "I made my children walk the same, with no problem" then I explain that I thought that maybe we would go to the Strata bar, that's why I parked there. I kid her on her shyness and her looking at the wall. I command her "Look at me now!", she complies and look into my eyes. She says she mentioned to her aunt that she's going out with me, and sent her pictures. "I tell her that we go out like friends" "What you want to say is that we see each other but do not have a sexual relationship yet" - lol, I like laying things bare once in a while. Moody reaction "You speak too much!" but then it gets better again. "We're not friends, but we're not boyfriend / girlfriend. We're in between, we're dating!" I tell her. "If we were BF / GF we would not be here right now". Lol. She tests my limits and asks why I'm still here with her. "I'm not the most patient man. I'm here until I realize I can't deal with your shyness anymore".

Overall we end up having a good evening. By 11 pm we leave and walk back to the car. In the street, I take her hand and lead her. She starts to complain that people will see us and we could get caught by police "Good idea!" I tell her, but still hold her hand. "But we're not BF / GF!" "I don't care! You come with me!" When we're at the stairways to the underground lot, I gently touch her ass. She reacts. I take my own hand, look at it with a severe expression and say "What did you just do! Not good!"

While driving her back I have my hand on her leg all the time and she accepts it. When we leave, still no kiss.

So, not only nervous and shy, but (very) moody too. The next day she texts me "Sorry for yesterday... the drama" "A normal dose of drama is acceptable... But no overdose! ;-)"

August 12
So far we've been in constant daily touch on Viber. By 8pm she's home on a break and had dinner already, she seems chatty so I decide to call her. I use my sexy voice. She soon turns crazy, first with "You did not escape yet?" then "you said we're not BF / GF" OMG we're not going over this yet. "What do BF and GF together when they meet?" I ask. She gets a bit aggressive. "I will draw you a picture!" I go on. It turns into drama and she reproaches me something I said at the restaurant about too much carbs in the pasta (!!!). I don't want to be sucked into this and try to keep cool head. She interrupts abruptly, "I have to go now, I have work!"

Later I text her "What was this drama about carbohydrates?" "It's not!" "Really? I don't believe!" "What is it you don't believe?"

This call was too much,I almost regret I made it. Completely crazy, pretty much all I told her on the last date was turned back at my face. That would require much more patience from me that I'm prepared to put. I let the last text unanswered. Since then I got no news from her, except once, on the following Saturday (just before her off day), she texted me a quick "How is your day off?", I guess to test my resolve. I answered politely "Very good weekend but almost finished".

She's been back to me so many times, she might come back, and if she does I will tell her that she needs to act a bit more nicely with me.

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Something interesting happened to me lately. My current GF behaved almost exactly like this on first few dates and was NEXTed several times until her behaviour improved (at one stage I pulled her home, but I did a takeaway and she left, and I then ignored her until chance meeting months later)... Anyway, she got drunk last week and told me something like "on our first date, I WANTED TO FUCK YOU SO BAD"... (her dirty talk is coming along quite nicely)... and this was totally an "aha moment" for me -- it is said on the main site, GRUMPY, UNCOOPERATIVE, ANGRY WOMAN = TOTALLY HORNY, but I hadn't realized this applied to my own life. If I had had better logistics I could've taken her home and fucked her first time. It's not too late with Maria 2, BUT, in future I suggest to keep in mind that if she causes drama on the first/second date, she needs dick ASAP.
Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

Ray,

Thinking about it, I think you are so damn right! Well, it's my first time to experience it.

Now there's this huge need to fuck, at the instinctual level, which says "take me now!". And at the social level there is this nervousness and shyness which says "go gentle!". It was small battle to get her to give me her hand and keep it. Getting to her tits (and beyond) is going to be monumental work.

OK you're right, I will give it more patience and time. Because I now have a process that generates me new dates, I now tend to NEXT too easily instead of persisting. Will need to change this bad habit.

I have just texted her "I am asking you to be nicer to me". Let's see if I can put things back on track.

Thanks for the advice

Seppuku

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Seppuku's Journal - dating in Doha

So funny. Same thing here. On first date with this girl (angry, uncooperative horny girl -> current gf) I don't think I even progressed to hand holding, second date I texted her I'd like to watch a movie with her and she texted back "I wont go to your house". So I had to think quickly and decided to take her to a drive-in movie (something I never did as a teenager). I put my hand on her leg as we got in the car but it was quickly swatted off, a few hours later I managed to get her to hold my hand and caress my wrist a little. Then she wanted to go home. Haha. Yes, social conditioning is a very real thing. But I do have the feeling that if I'd had better logistics I might've been able to smash through it. Clock is always ticking -- my experience in Japan, was that with these conservative-culture girls who really want dick, the window closes VERY FAST -- like in less than an hour -- and then after that you're in boyfriend territory (at best) or failed escalation / missed window territory (at worst). It was also an "aha" moment realizing this.
Ray

 

[Seppuku]

August 15 to 21: A monumental flake

It's Saturday 15 morning, and Maria 2 is now in limbo as described above. No way I'm going to stay alone. I open my WeChat and start opening about 10 girls, among them Carla, 37, pretty, looking 5 years younger and a lot of sensuality. Her profile reads "Don't add me, I won't accept. Not interested" but I deliberately chose to ignore and invite her anyway. I open her with something like "Hello! and love me tender" which certainly put me above 95% of all the lame "Hi" openers she must be receiving. She accepts immediately. After a little basic get-to-know chat I propose her an evening out, to which she answers she has already something committed tonight. I say "alright we do another time" and throughout the day while I do various errands I keep chatting her, low intensity. By 5 pm I'm back home and I text her "Still no plans for tonight so if you think you can free yourself just let me know", "It's OK with me if you like" "Well, yes I like then!" and we setup the details of the date. Consistently with what I noticed, if you meet her online, a girl is more comfortable to accept a date if you have chatted her a little bit before. Building rapport.

The date itself goes well. These days I am learning to let some tension build up before I throw my touch routine all in. We meet in a crowded place, all eyes on her, she's tall, thin, long black hair, almost a model, and she wears a tight red trousers and black shirt showing bare shoulders. I avoid to much smile, no touch, and just get her to follow me to my car. We start chatting in the car but still I keep some distance intentionally. We park and walk to the Intercontinental hotel, the Strata bar at 55th floor with panoramic view, my favorite date spot. She does not know the way, and when she deviates from the path, I gently take her by the arm and guide her the right way. The tension built up so far is relieved with obvious comfort and welcome, so I know I'm in, and from then I hold her hand the rest of the way. We spend a nice evening with some snacks and wine, I make her talk most of the time and I get increasingly physical with her as she speaks, which obviously she appreciates, she's preening her hair and leaning into me. It's 11:30 pm and she wakes up at 5 the next day so time to go. I do my usual "break physical rapport" which consists in leaving her hand and seeing if she puts it back by herself, and she does. Well by my standards she likes me and somewhat excited by me. We separate, no kiss (it's a pure Qatari district...) and we agree we'll be in touch on Whatsapp. While I drive she texts "Thank you for the wonderful night".

The next day I call her around 8 pm. She's not sure about joining me at the Pool at the Ritz Carlton on Friday. For movies, she does not like much the cinema... Damn, so now what. I keep on chatting with her. When I test about Italian restaurants, she mentions that she does not like much all outdoor activities and prefers indoors, like cooking. Well a hint like this, I got to take it. For now I keep it open and tell her I'll be back with a plan. Two days later, mid week, I contact her and ask if she'd like to have a walk on the Corniche with me. We both like walking. But no, she wants to be alone. Damn, the second time she refuses a concrete plan to meet. I am now less confident to propose a cooking date at my home on Thursday evening. I decide I want to see more interest on her part. And also, I don't like to be in the chasing position. So I retreat a bit from the texting. With her woman's six sense, of course she feels something and on Wednesday evening she asks "are you OK?" to which I answer a lame "Yes. Why?" The next day is also radio silence on text, until 6:30 pm when she texts "Happy weekend" and I then engage her with "Hi Carla". I ask her if she's ok with my idea of going to the pool tomorrow. "No, I don't like swimming. Another option" OK I know where this is going, but I try "Any suggestion?" "Let's see tomorrow" then I go for it "come to my home tomorrow afternoon 4pm we'll cook and watch a movie". "okay". "good" then we discuss logistics.

Yes! except... The next day I discover that she blocked my phone number. Whatsapp message sent but not received. The phone rings busy all the time. Loool! On Friday 21, 3:30pm I realize the second date won't happen. Even worse she broke diplomatic relationships as she cut all means to reach her. My first time again!

Which proves, among others, that the best chance to take her to bed would have been on the first date. That was impractical with our respective jobs the next day. I should arrange my dates earlier in evening next time. I did it for Lucy and Nicky and that allowed me to take them home. Also, there has been some awkwardness in my handling of the communication after the failed second date attempt mid week. Should stay uber cool always and not deviate from the frame I had on day one.

Good lesson.