Setting myself up for failure.

[cubi239]

I've been getting phone number after phone number and ALL of them have been flakes. I'm talking I've gotten around 10 numbers and no success. I usually do a little text convo and then try to set the date up.
A little bit of how this usually goes: I texted a girl who's number I got last week, the day I received her number. I then mentioned we should hang out that week, to which she said she had exams. Not a problem I'd text her next week. Texted her today and she then gave me a series of excuses to NOT hang out even with me being a bit persistent to which she just didn't reply. Last week I had a girl who I was trying to set a date up with for about 3 weeks (usually don't take this long). First, she went away one week. Then the next week when she returns I set up a date, she says she has plans. Ok whatever. The next week I ask her AGAIN and she says she has to babysit, but can do so Sunday. Ok. Sunday comes around and she flakes, this one was an obvious failure.
Before these 2 I had two other girls who I asked. Same thing, I set up a date with a time and place. I text her beforehand to confirm, she flakes and never responded again. The second girl I texted "let me take you out one day" to which I never got a response and also never responded to my texts ever again.
These scenarios don't include the other generic flakes (friend zoned, no reply on first text, and in-person rejections). I feel like I'm wasting time doing pick up and that I should just take a break or give up. It's seriously getting to me because last semester I was extremely successful. This semester getting a hook up is like pulling teeth, and damn near fucking impossible. Not sure what I'm doing wrong.

I'm extremely sociable and don't really play the 'nice guy' role. I try to meet as many people in general just to build connections, but when it comes to actually trying to hook up with girls I'm failing. In person, I usually flirt a bit, make small talk, and get the phone number. I even made a solid connection with SOME of them so they don't feel like they don't really know me or anything. Even when I talk to girls from a social perspective and not worry about hooking up, I still get no results. My college is huge so if you don't get the number when you see her, you won't see her again or you won't see her for a long time.

 

[Skid]

Hey dude ,


So I looked through your message to try and come up with some solutions since this was an issue I struggled with for a while: just endless flaking on dates. So there are 2 possible causes : the interaction or texting.So you're actually telling the girls that you should meetup that's good(a really cool trick to try is simle at her and say "we should meetup sometime" then pause and wait to see if she offers you her number). Usually the issue with flakey numbers is the girl just didn't find you that attractive or you just lost momentum. Lots of these examples you are giving refer to setting up dates 2 or even 3 weeks after you meet. Which is WAY too long if your interaction was only like 5 minutes or something. By then you've usually lost all your momentum : think about it if you got the number of a girl you thought was sorta okay and then you text her to hang out and she doesn't reply. Then all of a sudden she texts you like 2 weeks later you aren't really going to be that excited maybe you'll be in auto reject. But I do understand that these girls told you they were busy.

My advice for improving the interaction side and increasing your chances of seeing a girl would be try to spend more time with her when you meet her try and go for the close same day try new things. If she says she is free when you meet her instant date her then take her home. If she says that she is doing something ask if she is free later in the day and then meet up with her a couple hours later this will help with girls that say they are busy for all next week or whatever take advantage of the fact you are with her now. Think like the girl if she genuinely likes you and she knows she is going away next week she is going to be keen to spend time with you now.

The other thing that could be an issue is your calibration , you have to be able to determine if a girl is into you or not. Ask for compliance to test this even in the sets that are gonna be short , you should NEVER ask for a girls number unless she's shown some sort of interest through compliance else its pointless forget any idea of connection during your initial meet if its a short pickup the only thing that matters is she is putting effort into you and giving you her time (whether that's asking you questions , sitting with you etc, or standing with you when she says she is late for something). Phone numbers are not trophies , you want solid phone numbers. Ask her to walk out of peoples way with you or sit on a nearby bench with you for 2 minutes , constantly be looking for opportunities to increase her compliance levels.

As far as texting goes you want to send a cool meeting you text the same say a couple hours later then wait a day or two(if she replies immediately consider setting up the meet immediately) depending on how much she seemed interested in you (always calibrate to the girl) and setup the meet you talked about when you met. If you suspect she is gonna flake on you you can try flaking before her (a day before the date) then rescheduele a day or two later(be apologetic!). If she flakes on you just give a simple no worries wait a couple days to a week then retry with something completely different and that asks for more compliance. If this fails then I usually send a ball in your court text and never text her again. This should happen in the span of roughly 2 weeks. But I don't text a girl after that if we haven't met up at least once.

I then mentioned we should hang out that week, to which she said she had exams. Not a problem I'd text her next week. Texted her today and she then gave me a series of excuses to NOT hang out even with me being a bit persistent to which she just didn't reply. Last week I had a girl who I was trying to set a date up with for about 3 weeks (usually don't take this long). First, she went away one week. Then the next week when she returns I set up a date, she says she has plans. Ok whatever. The next week I ask her AGAIN and she says she has to babysit, but can do so Sunday. Ok. Sunday comes around and she flakes, this one was an obvious failure.
Before these 2 I had two other girls who I asked. Same thing, I set up a date with a time and place. I text her beforehand to confirm, she flakes and never responded again. The second girl I texted "let me take you out one day" to which I never got a response and also never responded to my texts ever again.

So just some final comments on this section : most of this looks like you are too attainable. Give a girl a choice of 2 days from your week to meetup , then 2 days the week after then bail on her. You just seem to be jumping on whatever 5 minutes of the week she gives you. Its preferable you actually have other things to do but until that point , just give a girl 2 days and stick with them. Also in my personal experience don't ever bother "persisting" over text its never worked for me and doesn't surprise me either. That's what all the push over guys that gawk over girls Instagram do they persist over text and messaging. For me now if a girl doesn't respond to my message at all and its not the end of a conversation then I never text her again , I only text again if she flakes on a date (not a text message) and gives some sort of reason. You should only be persisting in person.


Skid

 

[cubi239]

Yeah I've been doing most of this and trying to set up same day dates, the whole nine! I guess I just need to have some patience or something. I feel like maybe I play too much of a nice guy role and that's what may ruin it, not sure.