Sexual arousal of women OUTSIDE the bedroom

[Marty]

This has taken on a life of its own Thank you all, especially Franco and NarrowJ who have answered my question beyond my wildest expectations!

Franco, I love that clip. Daniel Craig's visual screen presence is so overwhelming, I'd never really noticed before what a cool voice he has. Eva Green is luscious too, of course

Regarding kino, the consensus now that you've had it out seems to be that you should touch as much as is congruent with your personality. Well, I believe that my character (as practiced with women) is very attentive and protective, so I touch them a fair amount actually, in accordance with that.

Glitch, this was a real eye-opener for me:

2. Low, sexy BUT well projected voice + Strong Eye Contact w/ hard edgy looks + Graceful, Slow Movement BUT with confident attiude + Use of sexual innuendos + Good Smile, USING sly/boyish grin = More Sexual Frame

At the moment I know how I'm coming across sometimes. Picture a self-assured consultant, who has done a kickass job presenting a strategy, leading a discussion where he gives most of the floor to (female!) management to speak. They respect him, but they don't want to crawl into bed with him (necessarily). I think that using you hints above, I can turn what is currently good, solid value into sexual value, possibly minus the "boyish" bit which I don't think will necessarily suit me.

NarrowJ, this is absolutely marvelous:

love it when I'm sitting next to a girl at the bar, and I place my hand on her back for a couple of seconds and feel her body shiver, and then watch her eyes melt into me as I take away that good feeling, increasing the tension and leaving her wanting more.

I need to eat more at the bar. I usually take girls to a classy café for a pot of tea and/or a bite; but some modest but stylish restaurants I know here do have a bar section and the overall dynamic would be so much more conducive to appropriate kino than the romantic "staring into each other's eyes" traditional seating plan.

And, following Anatman, you're the second to mention Robert Greene; I'm already looking to get that book!

-Marty

 

[Glitch]

Good to see that my lengthy post might help you.

As for the 'boyish' thing, discard what doesn't suit your personal style. I DO recommend the sly, playful grin.

As for touching, this can be tricky as the guys mentioned above. For this is just experimenting if your not really used to touch/not already ingrained into your style. It is recommended to add it to your toolbelt. I'm the same as Franco and NJ, so it might be tricky to give advice on implementing touch.

Go get 'em Marty,

Glitch

 

[Marty]

NarrowJ:

I forgot to mention this...

The workflow to a perfect seduction (in my mind, at least) is basically to open the girl, find a hook point, then start screening and chase-framing her, and then pull back a little after a few IOIs to make her chase you. Then, you can take things more sexual with some light touch, heavy eye contact and sex-talk/innuendo.

I like the fluency of this strategy. With girls who like me, I get as far as step #2: finding the hook point. Then, almost inevitably, I fuck it up. Once I think she's hooked I usually demand compliance, for instance get her to promise me a date. Much of the time, that date never materializes, so clearly I'm doing it completely wrong.

The step I'm most confused about is #4: "pull away". I don't know how to do it. I don't know what it means, how it looks vis-à-vis body language, what it sounds like in terms of conversation.

I think if I could get the "pull away" idea right, and then calibrate appropriately with the next step of sexual touch and heavy eye-contact, I'd be almost home and dry at least with girls who like me.

-Marty

 

[NarrowJ]

Marty,

The step I'm most confused about is #4: "pull away". I don't know how to do it. I don't know what it means, how it looks vis-à-vis body language, what it sounds like in terms of conversation.

As far as doing this in a social setting, Ozzo's newest LR illustrates this perfectly: LR: Petite Organic SexKitten. The way he displays scarcity and abundance mentality by not continuing to just hang around after their initial conversation. He's not a social burden to the girl like most guys are, he actually leaves and goes to do his own thing, talks to other girls (pre-selection). Before you know it, he's dangling the banana by teasing her about getting his phone number, and it's pretty much "game over" at that point.

It's also explained a bit in Chase's article Shotgun Opening and Reopening Women Later in the Night. Excerpt from the article:

Note that you are letting the girl go here, because it's a natural place for her to leave, and you're also ending on a high point. This does a host of good things for you, including:

• Shows you have an abundance mindset, which implies you do well with women, and also reassures her you won't be a social burden
  
• Generates intrigue about you - most guys try to hang onto her and not let her leave; so what's your story?
  
• Leaves her on a high point, which causes her to think about you in a good way during your absence - and as we know, anticipation and mental energy spent thinking about and hoping to meet someone again only ramps up attraction

It's a bit different in cold approach, because you can't really just go walk off and start talking to other people and then just bank on seeing her an hour later. But, the idea and mindset is the same. You know how you act when you're not interested in a girl? You meet her, think to yourself "Hey, this chick is pretty cool. Let's see what she's got" and then after a bit you're thinking "Well... she's nice and everything... but not really my type" and you just naturally kind of back off a little. She's cool, you're not going to blow her out and walk off. But, you're not putting in any effort to win her over now either. You have to be able to pull that off, but it's harder because you are interested in her. So talk to a girl a little bit once you hook her, start screening/framing and throw in pauses to see if she'll re-engage you.

Some tips (I'm sure you're already aware of many of these):

• Make sure when you open a girl that your body is positioned in a way that makes it appear that you could just walk away at any moment. Stand at an angle, don't lean in. (Pretty sure you already know this one)
• Make sure you're rewarding only good behavior. Rewarding bad or even neutral behavior is chasing.
• Subtle chase frames (another obvious one)
• Watch for her qualifying herself. Is she bragging or telling you things to increase her value? If so, that's always a good IOI.
• This one's awesome. After you reach a hook point in the conversation, just start walking. If she walks with you without being prompted, she's pretty much good to go. If you take a couple steps and she doesn't budge, you can just turn to her and reach out for her hand and say "Let's walk" (compliance demand).
• Again, use pauses to make her re-engage you.

There's a lot more to this that hopefully someone else can chime in and add. Much of this is so subtle that I sometimes can't even really think of what's going on; it just happens.


NJ

 

[lux7]

There are different ways of going about it; Alek Rolstad prefers telling sexual stories to paint himself as a sexual man, and guys like myself, Richard, Tool, and NarrowJ prefer to use sexual innuendos during conversation to get her thinking about sex. I believe Chase uses both techniques depending on the interaction.

However you want to go about it, you absolutely should attempt to incorporate sexuality into your interaction with a girl when you first meet her. I know some guys have used kino to some success, but this isn't really my style. But... maybe it's yours!

I believe Chase mostly avoids spoken sexualization, innuendos included, leaving it non spoken, body language level?

The idea of which being not to verbalize it but just leave it unspoken. As long as sexual tension is present there should be no need to have sexual jokes/innuendos a la "you know what I can do with my little finger", no?

 

[Richard]

Ummm false...

Chase uses sexual innuendos, and sexually suggestive language as well.

No matter how good you are with women, it's pretty tough to use strictly kino or body language early on in an interaction to build sexual arousal. Hell, I wrote the article on Arousing a Girl with Nonverbals and I will tell you that it's much much easier to speak sexually early on then be sexual with your body language.

Touch, tone of voice, smiling, and eye contact are the most powerful nonverbal influencers on sexual arousal... and notice that you can't use one of them without speaking...

 

[Marty]

Hey NarrowJ,

This one's awesome. After you reach a hook point in the conversation, just start walking. If she walks with you without being prompted, she's pretty much good to go. If you take a couple steps and she doesn't budge, you can just turn to her and reach out for her hand and say "Let's walk" (compliance demand).

This one is indeed awesome. Since you wrote this, I've experimented a little and it works not only to verify compliance, but to generate a sense of leadership too (which gets her excited). Thank you.

Make sure when you open a girl that your body is positioned in a way that makes it appear that you could just walk away at any moment. Stand at an angle, don't lean in. (Pretty sure you already know this one)

You're quite right I do already know it, but it's a measure of how important it is that one time this week when I went rogue and somehow decided to bend the rules for some reason (in Whole Foods), I got blown out real hard by a fantastically attractive and young brunette. An occasional, costly, reminder is worth it!!

Franco:

However you want to go about it, you absolutely should attempt to incorporate sexuality into your interaction with a girl when you first meet her. I know some guys have used kino to some success, but this isn't really my style. But... maybe it's yours!

Ya that's a good point, there is some element of personal style to it. Having had a chance to think this over and go on a few dates since you wrote this, I think I've got mine figured out:

Generally, it's much easier and more natural for me to break the touch barrier than break the inhibition about raising sex in conversation. However, this assumes that the woman is acting like it's a date with an attractive man and actually giving me escalation windows.

If she's giving me zero windows whatsoever, then the interaction is pretty much doomed, in which situation I guess I'd find it easier to throw out a sexual comment or two as a last resort to see if she bites (nothing to lose) rather than go so far off-piste as to put my hands all over her when she's acting Platonic.

-Marty

 

[lux7]

I still don't get this innuendo part and I would have no idea how to make any good ones verbally -any I can think of would sound unnatural/childish when verbalized-.

This is an example from Chase and he doesn't seem to have any sexual innuendo:

Guy: [slowly, sexually] So what's the story with this place?
Girl: [turning to face him] What do you mean?
Guy: This whole coffee shop... it seems so gauche.
Girl: I think it's supposed to be chic.
Guy: Does it seem chic to you?
Girl: No... no it does not!
Guy: You don't seem like the kind of girl who'd be in such a gauche place that aspires to be chic.
Girl: Why do you say that?
Guy: [waves his hand in front of her torso, gesturing] That. Your whole style-thing. Not gauche chic. More like just light, trendy... on top of things.
Girl: Oh [looking down at her clothes]. Well what are you doing here?
Guy: I didn't realize it was going to be so gauche chic before I walked in.
Girl: [laughs] Well why did you stay?
Guy: By the time I noticed how terrifying the decorations were, it was too late, and I'd already paid for my hot chocolate. So I'm stuck here.
Girl: You could just leave.
Guy: And miss out on analyzing the patterns in that throw rug over there? Not in a million years.
Girl: [laughs]
Guy: How about you, why are you here? You seem like the type who'd be too busy to hang out in a wannabe-trendy coffee shop.
Girl: Well, I have the day off from work today.
Guy: Oh really? And what's work?
Girl: I work in a clothing store.
Guy: Is it... a gauche chic clothing store?
Girl: [laughs] No, it is NOT a gauche chic clothing store!
Guy: [laughs] Okay, well that explains why you have better style than most I suppose. How long have you been working at the clothing store?

 

[Franco]

lucifer,

Where did you pull the above quote from? That's not an example of sexual innuendo but rather an indirect-direct style of opener/banter. He gives her a compliment at the end of the banter, but there is no sexual frames or innunedos in this.

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

It's not a sexual innuendo.

It's from the "how to open situationally article". Or maybe from indirect-direct openers. One of the two I know for a fact.

 

[lux7]

Yeah, it's not an example of sexual innuendo, that's the point, I took a couple of Chase's approach examples I could find just to see if there was any sexual innuendo and couldn't find any..

 

[Franco]

lucifer7,

Took me awhile to find this one, but here's several examples of him chatting with girls and using sexual innuendo (along with an explanation of sexual humor):

• Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing

- Franco

 

[lux7]

lucifer7,

Took me awhile to find this one, but here's several examples of him chatting with girls and using sexual innuendo (along with an explanation of sexual humor):

• Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing

- Franco

Franco,

Appreciate you taking that time .

I will be happy to go through it and get back with possible questions/comments

 

[lux7]

lucifer7,

Took me awhile to find this one, but here's several examples of him chatting with girls and using sexual innuendo (along with an explanation of sexual humor):

• Secrets to Getting Girls: Chase Framing

- Franco

Yeah, here are some further examples:

Chase: not sure what you trained him to lick…

Girl: What do you want to eat? I’m kind of craving hot dogs. Guy: Craving MY hot dog, probably.

Why do you want to eat hot dogs? Girl: What do you think we should do? Guy: You probably don’t want to know. I don’t know if you’re ready for that yet.

Girl: What’s your favorite band? Guy: The rubber kind. I use them to tie women up and do naughty things to them.

Girl: I hate when you go to a restaurant and service is slow and lazy. Guy: Are you telling me you like it fast and hard?

Except for the hot dot that I'd only use if the conversation is already extremely loaded they are OK.
Though the might still sound a bit childish at times?

Not to break anybody's balls on this , but any further examples?