she said she's too old for me

[astroglide]

So the girl at work I've been trying to get at said that she was too old for me. She said she is almost 30, I am 24. It really seemed like we were connecting, but when I asked her to go do something she would always have an excuse. A few days ago, I texted her and asked if she was free on the weekend to get a drink or some lunch. Her first response was that she had plans made. Then her second response explained that she is not suitable to hang out with me because she is much older than I am and that she hopes I understand.

Could this be a shit test? Or do some girls really feel weird about dating guys younger than them like in this case (she's 28 or 29 I'm assuming) and I'm 24.

 

[Thedoctor]

Astro,

Some girls do have this big problem about a guy being younger than them. It can work to your advantage by easily slotting you into the lover category, since they don't think there's gonna be much future with the two of you because of the age difference. My advice is to not put much weight into her comments about age. I've seen this time and time again. She says you're too young and continues to say it right up until the two of you sleep together. Then, usually one of two things happens: The situation will either continue on as any other girl (where you can keep seeing her,date etc.), or the age problem always comes back up with her and any chance at a relationship is pretty much out of the question.

You won't know how big a problem age is for her until after you've had sex with her. So keep trying to escalate and treat this as any other foolish objection a girl may have.

-John

 

[astroglide]

How can I escalate if she will not even take the next step (go on date/hang out)? I also notice she has not been giving me much attention lately after a few attempts to ask her out. I implicitly made it clear that I was interested in her so I guess she is putting up her shield.

 

[Thedoctor]

Astro,

How can I escalate if she will not even take the next step (go on date/hang out)? I also notice she has not been giving me much attention lately after a few attempts to ask her out. I implicitly made it clear that I was interested in her so I guess she is putting up her shield.

I'd say it seems more like you should focus on other areas such as improving your fundamentals and building intrigue. There's always a possibility that age is the only factor affecting her decision, but that's usually not it. If she perceives you as a sexy and desirable man, then your age will be the last thing on her mind. My advice is to stop chasing her, work on improving yourself and meet more girls. Once this happens, she'll likely be the one asking you to hang out.

-John

 

[astroglide]

I don't think I was chasing, but rather persisting. But you are right. If she did perceive me as desirable then age really shouldn't be a problem. I mean, at the age we are in (24 me, 29 or 30 her), it shouldn't even be that big of a deal. I guess I was just misled? I don't know, it really felt like we were really connecting during my 'deep dives'' and flirting.