LR-- Sheila

[Seppuku]

I initially engaged Sheila on WeChat - a mobile based, Facebook like app allowing to contact "People Nearby" - the week before using my "usual love me tender" opener, and she accepted my invite on Sep 12. Like for a Tinder match, after that we can start texting.

Initial exchange, building rapport and comfort, setting up the date

On our initial text exchanges she is immediately super curious and asks me so many questions at once that I have a little trouble staying focused . She's a cook in a restaurant, in the nearby shopping mall. "You can see me if the time is right for us" she says, and I immediately put a time constraint, as I will go away from Doha next week. "Let's meet on my day off this week then" and I don't touch the subject anymore for now.

The interaction goes well, and soon we're exchanging pictures. She sends me the picture of a camel. I send her a pic of me in Qatari attire, looking serious. "Are you Arab?" she asks. "Are you a camel?" "hahaha", then I tell her she's almost as ugly as my previous girlfriend, and send a picture of a zombie girl walking dead style. We finally exchange real pics, then switch to voice call. Sexy voice. Smells like a good fuck. We leave it here for now.

The next day she's back to me late evening. Small chat. How's the day, etc... She asks me when is my day off. She's off on Tuesday, I'm off on Friday. "Oh, no day we can meet up then?" "Yes, Tuesday evening " and then we discuss meeting arrangements. Where are we going, what are we going to do, etc... I sell her some logical answers.

Meeting and pull within 30 minutes

On Tuesday I go to the appointment... She's not here. Wait 20 minutes. Leave. Later the same evening she reverts to me, apologises that she was sleeping and did not hear the alarm, and proposes to meet up Wednesday evening 9pm after her work instead. Replacement date, good.

On Wednesday we finally meet. She small, long nice hair, pretty face, nice smile, sensual lips. She would be fairly pretty if it was not for her belly fat, a bit too much, almost like pregnant lol. It's a 10 minutes walk to my home, and my plan is now to take her home directly. Because bars won't serve alcohol now, due to coming Eid, this gives me the prefect excuse. But she's again in the "where are we going" mode, so I have to explain. I propose we go to my place instead, we'll have a glass of wine. Or, we can go to Strata bar nearby and check if it's open. Before she says anything, I say "Anyway let's walk" and we walk through West Bay. On the way I hold her hand all the time, she likes it and follows my lead smoothly. As we reach the intercontinental hotel where the Strata is, she remarks that she does not have her id card and the bar won't let her enter. Thank you. "Let's go to my place then", it's just two minutes walk from here.

Escalation

It's gradual touching. First we look at the view from the window and I hold her in my arms. We sit in the sofa with a book, she's just sitting against me and I put my arm around her shoulders. We're having wine, chatting a bit, she's in my arms, I land a quick kiss on her lips then ask us to reciprocate on my cheek. She does. Is there lipstick? I ask. Yes. So we need first to remove all this lipstick from her mouth. This time I give her a full make out. Lasts a while. I interrupt. She's still asking for more. I give more. My hands on chest, neck and breast . Venture my hand below her shirt. Fondle her left tit. "not only me touching!" I put her hand beneath my polo. She likes it. Time to introduce her to my friend Paul. I put her hand on my dick. "his name is Paul", she starts to rub it. And then she pulls off:

Is this going to be a relationship or a one time only?

In all honesty I can't promise anything. I go through my philosophy of taking things as they come, "if I feel like it", and see how they unfold. Conclude that girls usually hurt themselves by expecting too much, too soon.

We're still having wine. It's me who is now off her, I broke the physical rapport intentionally. But she's now turned on, and she comes back on me, in my arms first, then rubbing my dick. We remove the top, we're now both topless and I start sucking her nipples good and hard. She explains she loves wild sex. I get to know that she's a widow, she was married eight years with a British guy who gave her hot sex every day, and they have explored so many things. But he passed away three years ago and so far she could not move on yet. She tells me "in all honesty, when I look at you, I don't see you, I see my husband". Alright. "fair enough. But in all honesty, it's not really my problem, it is mostly yours." So this is what I have landed in my living room.

From now on, it's all with trousers. I won't get to remove her trousers, according to her she does not want to go more serious if she's not sure we meet again after. Me I can't promise any such thing.

Yet it gets pretty hot. She feeds me her nipples to suck, I get my hand beneath pants and her bare ass, I take her doggy style while pulling her long hair, we simulate the "on the wall", the "on the table". She gets very horny when I kiss her in the neck and let me finger her beneath trousers. She's near coming. She gives me a hand job. Won't get the blow job because "it will make me want you inside". It's late, I drive her back home.

I guess it's a difficult case here? There's the ex husband that's an elephant in the room, she kept comparing me with him all night. There is also her expectation for a relationship and continued sex. Not really sure what I could have done different?

Well fair enough. Good data point for my learning. Bit frustrated that I didn't get the bj. As I write this, she just texted me back for the first time so it's not off. Let us see how this evolves.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Seppuku,

Good job framing. You didn't cave to the boyfriend request. If she comes back it will be for full on sex. She has to be as horny as hell. Let her know No more dates. Its all about the sex. I think you are doing her a favor. She needs to get past her loss. If she goes with guy as a boyfriend then he is just a replacement. Having a lover without commitment will help her with closure.

BDSC

 

[ray_zorse]

Interesting. I think you got sucked into too much logical discussion, although it's rather difficult to see how you could have prevented this. Yes, it may be a special case due to her background, perhaps she needs to get this out in the open so she can relax without it going around and around in her head. But the not going all the way, it's a separate issue, and it sounds more like anti-slut defense to me. More non-judgemental framing might have helped here, it's not something I have ever really tried but some other seducers on these boards regularly use non-judgemental frames. My guess would be that you have to use them early (prevention rather than cure) since once she has set up the anti-slut defense it's hard to get around it. Also you might consider boyfriend-disqualification, this is an area of active interest of mine since like you I am older, have a nice apartment, a good income (usually) and proven reproductive success, so they always want r/ship, and getting drawn into this has wasted a lot of seduction time for me this year. You've been a bit stronger about this Anyway, if she is a bit tubby then it's easier to be non reactive and deflect all this. You won't be upset if you don't get the lay and I'd put it 40/60 against, they tend to keep communicating and acting enthusiastic but putting off the meet at the last minute (maybe nervousness at knowing what will happen) or be deliberately obtuse over text (answering questions like "when are you free" with "hi, how was your day" in the case of my r/ship seeking Bangladeshi handjob). But ey, I am really keen to hear what happens here, you sexy man
Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Hey guys!

There has been more texts exchanges after that, so potentially it's not dead (girls go in full radio silence usually if it's off), but the thing is I'm going in holidays on Tuesday for two weeks. This will probably grow cold in the meantime. Had great time with Elisa.

@BigDaddy: Fully agree, there's nothing like a good shag ;-) and I think she got the picture. To my place within 30 minutes of first time ever meeting ever, and me sucking her boobs hard.

@Ray: You're probably right that it's ASD. I probably required another one hour. Towards the end she allowed me to finger her, which she denied earlier. It was starting to crack. But it was late, both of us had work the next day. We started probably 9:45 at my home. It is more ideal to start earlier if possible. But yes, I will certainly consider more non judgmental frames. And boyfriend disqualification. As you correctly note, when she asks me the boyfriend request, I go into firefighting. I take the point, better to anticipate earlier on.