@Mr Mistah,
Quick one
@Chase
Is "Aww thanks" a bad thing to hear from a girl?
Is there room for thoughtfullness during seduction or is that un lover like?
Asking bc I've gotten a few of those in the past
Mostly from me offering genuine compliments to the girl
Or reassuring them when they're beating themselves up about some insecurity of theirs e.g Some girl whose family is always shaming her about her weight. Told her she's okay and shouldnt pay much mind to naysayers
I can instinctively tell that reassuring chicks is not lover esque but I just want to see where the line is drawn
When your instincts tell you something, it is always good to listen.
I can't think of a time I heard "aww thanks" from a girl and a good dynamic followed from that.
For comparison: think of the sexiest male actor or role model you can. Now imagine a scenario where he is talking to a girl and she goes, "Awww, thanks!" Can you imagine that? I bet it's hard or impossible. Next imagine a nice guy actor in a scenario where a girl is telling him "Awww, thanks!" You can probably imagine that pretty easily.
Genuine compliments you usually don't even want to give her time to react. Just compliment her and keep moving. If it's the opener, compliment and give her your name. If it's later on, compliment her almost in an off-hand way, then change the subject. Mainly you are avoiding women thanking you.
"Thanks" is what you say to someone after he has done something for you. When the barista hands you your coffee, you say "thanks." When your assistant emails you the files you requested, you say "thanks." When your friend agrees to change the time he'll meet you because you're running late, you say "thanks." Thanks is acknowledgement of someone's investment in you.
You need to
invest a certain amount into girls who are also investing in you. You don't generally get emotionally thanked when she is more invested in you than you are in her, because she's still more invested in you. If you have her move with you, turn around for you so you can look at her dress, then show you her hand so you can see her ring, then tell her she has a beautiful ring, she might give you a cursory "thanks" but she is not going to tell you "Thank you SO much!" or "Aww,
thank you!" because she is not trying to make up for an investment deficit with emotional investment.
That's the best way to view emotional thank yous: as attempts to allay some of the pressure that comes from an investment deficit.
If I just slather you with compliments and favors and you haven't done anything for me, it's going to start to feel awkward, and you will start to try to alleviate some of that with effusive thanks. "Hey man, Chase, thank you so much, this is really so kind of you. Thanks brother, this is super generous. I really appreciate this, thanks so much." Basically you feel indebted to me for doing so much for you... but you don't want to feel indebted... so you try to inject some emotion in to even out
the investment scales.
(at the same time, you are also subtly telling me I'd better knock this off, because I'm investing too much and you don't want to feel pressured to have to reciprocate)
Side note... if a girl tells you her family is always shaming her about her weight, she is almost certainly fishing for compliments/reassurance.
The right call is to bust on her in an absurd way.
e.g.:
HER: My family is always telling me I'm too skinny and that I need to put more meat on my bones. I'm so tired of it.
YOU: Your family is completely right. Personally, I refuse to date women under 300 lbs.
HER: [laughs]
@DakenMarquis,
@Mr Mistah gonna follow up w my 2 c. Context matters, awww thanks in my case is reacting to our makeout and at least our mutually enjoyable time, and her intial mutual interest. She saw me as high value and may continue to, despite this hiccup. But I know reactions mean nothing, compliance is everything, even kisses or lays may mean nothing as far as a deeper desire/connection go.
I usually don't have problems comforting girls as far as escalation is concerned, may help w attainability( which is likely my main sticking point, and if I tweak it I can get different types of women, but is no where near the kind of consistency as I want with the lover frame.. ofc every girl is different.) To add: my lay count is likely over 90/100, I stopped counting around 70 ish mark
The "aww thanks" in this case wasn't a good sign.
But it may be the case you're smooth in person and text game is rougher. I've known plenty of guys who are very smooth with girls in person but just okay texting. Or this may just have been a misread of the girl / situation (e.g., you thought she was more "ready to go" than she was). It happens...
Chase
