Should you ask women what happened/what you did wrong?

[CaptainHenley]

Lads, title says all.

Following my previous post, which didnt get a lot of replies, my question is this?


Should I ask the girl what happened? Should I tell her that I was under the impression that she really liked me and I am suprised that she doesnt want to go out again?

How can I make women my teachers in order to improve (an idea that has been boggling my head since reading the alabaster girl)

Hey, maybe this girl actually likes me but is confused as well?

Tips?

 

[Drck]

NEVER

 

[Sandman]

Girls usually don't know what the problem was. So they're not gonna tell you (i) you didn't handle attainability, (ii) you didn't move fast enough etc. To them, it's just "we didn't click". So it would be a waste of time and make you look weak to boot.

Then again, (i) if she's experienced and friendly, (ii) you don't mind looking like a weak guy, (iii) here's no chance at all anything's gonna happen with this girl... Why not? Maybe you can learn something

 

[NealIRC]

I have.

I did it to this girl, on Facebook only.

This is what I said to her.

____, from the day I set eyes on your profile, I went "there's no way a girl like you would ever want to be friends with a guy like me." I consider you someone to be, way out of my league. So, if I were to try to attract you, I would fail. So it's a battle between attract and fail, versus not try anything at all. But I thought, if I lose, I could probably learn from some mistakes.

So I was hoping, ____, that at the end of it all (which is when I run out of game, when I run out of stuff to say, cuz you know, I will eventually run out), I would let you know. Give the defeated flag. And then you would be able to give me some sort of a score, on how good I tried to attract you. And more importantly, give me advice, on how to improve. Cuz you know, I suck at women.


And when you started talking, I started to think you seem like an intelligent person that would give good advice.

All the people that gave me advice on women in my life... were all guys. I could use feedback from a different perspective.



1 day I'll tell you about my failures with trying to keep some of my guy friends that I've lost.

And this is the thread in the other section where I talk about attracting her:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=16582

^ click.

 

[Lover]

Hey Captain H. I'm curious about one thing since I thought about this as well some time ago: what kind of answers are you looking for if you are going to ask women such questions?

How can I make women my teachers in order to improve (an idea that has been boggling my head since reading the alabaster girl)

See every seduction experience you have with any attractive woman as a lesson. Look at it through different angles such as how you played your part (your vibe, actions, communication etc) and how she played hers. Anything could explain why it went well, and why it went bad. Sometimes it is on you, sometimes it's on her. But as you progress, you will get better at zeroing in on what really caused trouble.

Otherwise, if you feel like you have nothing to lose, do as mrre suggests, and ask women why it's not working - simply to gain reference points. Maybe there is a way to frame this question where she can give a useful respons?

 

[Seppuku]

Agreed with mrre.

You can ask the girl if you want, or not, but if you ask you will not get any helpful answer.

To start with, the girl is clueless, on a conscious level, of the attraction dynamics (well, unless you screwed up with something really stupid). The only thing she is aware of is "I didn't feel like it" or similar.

But also, her answer will likely mix up some her fantasy beliefs of what "ideal" dating should look like... e.g. behaving like a "proper" gentleman. And this is really coming from social conditioning (socially acceptable dating). As we all know here, the real dating rules, leading to actual success, are very much the opposite of what society would have. For instance you would be much better off behaving like an asshole than like what society defines as "proper" gentleman.

The guys with seduction background have a much more realistic view of the dynamics at play. You'll get much more informative, useful answers by posting an FR here.

Seppuku