Should You Communicate That You Are More Than "Just A Fuck and Dump" Type Of Guy

[Skills]

I think it's because you JUST agree with them that you dont like one night stands either. But are still trying to sneak your way to fucking them.

Instead what will work is reframing how you will only sleep with her if you feel chemistry. So your not trying be a sneaky fucker.

Here is the gambit I stole from Alex of UMP

i’m not really a big fan of one night stands. I’ve had a lot of them. they can be a lot of fun, but at the end of the day, they feel kind of meaningless and empty. for me, its important that i feel chemistry with the girl on the first meet. and i will only sleep with a girl if I’m 100% sure that she’s the type of girl that id be open to being more than once. even if we have sex on the first night. I just need to feel that I’m compatible enough with her to see her more than once. I find sex way more fulfilling and meaningful that way, you know?

(At first I just used to say this as a gambit to get a SNL. But then I actually started to believe this and now it comes off as more congruent).

that gambit is similar to what i say....

 

[naturalmikey]

i think a lot of guys interpret “i don’t like ons” to mean that the girl doesn’t fuck on the first night or is at least communicating this. basically confusing ons and snl. i believe normally when a girl says that all she means is that if you guys hook up she would prefer to be able to hook up more if she’s going to be willing to fuck you on the first night.

i find this rarely gets brought up. if it does i will interpret it as a genuine concern and basically agree with her. i’ll say “yeah i agree i would prefer to get to know someone after having sex because i think the sex is better that way as long as the connection is right.” this is a little challenging because it puts her in a position to where she has to win you over to an extent. because the connection has to be right. as long as she isn’t sure she could have you, but the possibility is there if she earns it is a great frame to come to. like swinggcat would always say “never close the door.” you don’t want her to be certain she can have you, but you also never want her to be certain she can’t.

@Chase i like your example of sometimes a ons is right. i’ve said basically what you suggested in my own language. like “yeah but sometimes in the moment it’s right like when you’ll never see each other again, because one of you is on vacation.” then i’ll go into the stuff from the previous paragraph. most girls are pretty cool about stuff once they realize you are. but again i rarely get this kind of stuff.