So I've been a victim for this for the second time. First time four years ago, when I was very inexperienced with women. This time, just as last, I ignored the red flags, realizing I need to screen out women who:
*Are very direct and eager not only to sleep with you but also to just be as intimate as possible as fast as possible.
*Are extremely sexual very fast, but also very affectionate right after sex.
*Promise you (or at least behave like they will give you) the world.
Let's examine each of these and see how it relates to my recent story:
*Are very direct and eager not only to sleep with you but also to just be as intimate as possible as fast as possible.
Both girls that did this weren't even shy to flirt and seduce me. These pickups seemed very easy and it feels like they singled me out as the rebound guy, pretty early on. If there's a sign of desperation on their part, like they want to make this happen right then and there, then its definitely a red flag.
Both girls were perceived as higher quality than I am used to. It could be the reason they chose me. Here I am, a guy who probably would be an easy target to seduce, and give them the validation and sexual gratification they need to rebuild their self-esteem.
*Are extremely sexual very fast, but also very affectionate right after sex.
Unlike lovers, these girls act very girl-friendy right after sex. Their lust for my cock is huge almost to the point where I started to wonder.
*Promise you (or at least behave like they will give you) the world.
This is big. I got introduced to her friends a couple of weeks into the relationship. And (the biggest sign here) they all seemed to like me a lot. That's a sign they wanted to be "seen" with this new guy.
They even start talking about future plans together, about meeting parents and so on.
Wait, isn't that too fast? She doesn't even know me that well. You kind of feels like sex and passion are the only things you have in common. And when I think about it, we seldom had intellectual conversations (and especially with the last girl that did this to me).
And here comes a huge inconsistency; even if they are affectionate behind closed doors or at friend-gatherings, they don't like public affection. A huge, huge sign they don't want their ex or someone close to him seeing us. Deep down they know you're not the right person so they can't go public with you. You're the one who makes them feel validated, right?
So how do I screen them out?
*I guess asking her when she had her last relationship is the easiest way. The last girl saw some lover-vibe in me and was pretty honest early on (about past lovers, bf's and so on). She straight told me her last LTR was three months prior to our romance. This should be the easiest way to weed her out.
*Never ever meet a girl more than twice a week in the beginning. Unlike lovers and even some girlfriends, these girls wanted to spend every waking moment with me. They want sexual connection and affection and they want it all at once. So making them wait and taking things easy would make them extremelly impatient and I would have disclosed them earlier on.
The thing with these girls is that they don't only want your sex. They want it all and as soon as their self-image is rebuilt, they dump your ass for someone whos a better bf-fit for them. I was kind of a lover/surrogate boyfriend and that's fine - but I could have made thing clearer by taking distance and seeing the red flags.
At the same time, and even though it hurts like hell, I feel kind of honored both these girls saw some kind of "reliever". It validated my sexual prowess.
I think Chase wrote an article about this if I can recall correctly. But I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. Some encouraging words to make the transition to freedom and meeting women again as easy and fast as possible.
Thank you guys.
-Kristian
*Are very direct and eager not only to sleep with you but also to just be as intimate as possible as fast as possible.
*Are extremely sexual very fast, but also very affectionate right after sex.
*Promise you (or at least behave like they will give you) the world.
Let's examine each of these and see how it relates to my recent story:
*Are very direct and eager not only to sleep with you but also to just be as intimate as possible as fast as possible.
Both girls that did this weren't even shy to flirt and seduce me. These pickups seemed very easy and it feels like they singled me out as the rebound guy, pretty early on. If there's a sign of desperation on their part, like they want to make this happen right then and there, then its definitely a red flag.
Both girls were perceived as higher quality than I am used to. It could be the reason they chose me. Here I am, a guy who probably would be an easy target to seduce, and give them the validation and sexual gratification they need to rebuild their self-esteem.
*Are extremely sexual very fast, but also very affectionate right after sex.
Unlike lovers, these girls act very girl-friendy right after sex. Their lust for my cock is huge almost to the point where I started to wonder.
*Promise you (or at least behave like they will give you) the world.
This is big. I got introduced to her friends a couple of weeks into the relationship. And (the biggest sign here) they all seemed to like me a lot. That's a sign they wanted to be "seen" with this new guy.
They even start talking about future plans together, about meeting parents and so on.
Wait, isn't that too fast? She doesn't even know me that well. You kind of feels like sex and passion are the only things you have in common. And when I think about it, we seldom had intellectual conversations (and especially with the last girl that did this to me).
And here comes a huge inconsistency; even if they are affectionate behind closed doors or at friend-gatherings, they don't like public affection. A huge, huge sign they don't want their ex or someone close to him seeing us. Deep down they know you're not the right person so they can't go public with you. You're the one who makes them feel validated, right?
So how do I screen them out?
*I guess asking her when she had her last relationship is the easiest way. The last girl saw some lover-vibe in me and was pretty honest early on (about past lovers, bf's and so on). She straight told me her last LTR was three months prior to our romance. This should be the easiest way to weed her out.
*Never ever meet a girl more than twice a week in the beginning. Unlike lovers and even some girlfriends, these girls wanted to spend every waking moment with me. They want sexual connection and affection and they want it all at once. So making them wait and taking things easy would make them extremelly impatient and I would have disclosed them earlier on.
The thing with these girls is that they don't only want your sex. They want it all and as soon as their self-image is rebuilt, they dump your ass for someone whos a better bf-fit for them. I was kind of a lover/surrogate boyfriend and that's fine - but I could have made thing clearer by taking distance and seeing the red flags.
At the same time, and even though it hurts like hell, I feel kind of honored both these girls saw some kind of "reliever". It validated my sexual prowess.
I think Chase wrote an article about this if I can recall correctly. But I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this. Some encouraging words to make the transition to freedom and meeting women again as easy and fast as possible.
Thank you guys.
-Kristian
