- Joined
- May 15, 2022
- Messages
- 11
Hi everybody!
I had an epiphany last time doing nightgame.
I always had some kind of fear when it comes to moving things forward with women. I am there, talking with a clearly-attracted-to-me girl, and I feel this block instantly when I know it is time to make a move. I thought I am just afraid of rejection, and I always wondered why - I spent a lot of time figuring out what is the reason, why is that and how to tackle it.
This one night when I was on my way home... it clicked. It was so sudden, but felt so right I needed to post it here and ask for your opinion, as it feels like a breakthrough to me.
I am not scared of rejection. If somebody would give me a task "Go to this girl and say you like her" - I will, and I'm gonna enjoy it even if she rejects me. Its about something else: I am scared of showing interest. All the time narration automatically plays in my head that goes like: "Okay, act aloof now, because if you do, she will like you, because she likes you only if you are out of reach for her. As soon as you show any interest, she is going to lose interest in you, so don't show any - NEVER!"
...oh my fucking god. I can't belive I really had this in my head all the time. I remember being like this since 17yo - back then I was studying seduction from... well... RSD, and advices of :"Be unreactive! Don't show interest in her! Ignore her and she's yours!" stuck in my head so deep that I realized just today, after all this years, how silly it is that I even deemed it true. Not to blame RSD (or maybe a bit... lol), it's time to fix this and find a solution.
It seems straightforward. Just come up to a girl that clearly (or half-clearly) likes you and say "Hey, I like you!" I understand its an oversimplification and requires calibration...
And that is the part where I would love to ask your opinion about how should I proceed.
The most important thing: show sexual interest and dont beat around the bush. It solves the fear of moving things forward and lifts the weird feeling of hiding my motives.
Question: how to do it in the most effective, calibrated way, yet still make it obvious that I want her so I don't play this shitty narrative in my head?
I have an urge to experiment with just saying "Hey, I really like you and wanted to talk to you. Whats your name?" (of course minding things like eye contact, voice, body language etc.)
I can't wait to know your opinion, and thank you dearly for your answer! Very much appreciated!
I had an epiphany last time doing nightgame.
I always had some kind of fear when it comes to moving things forward with women. I am there, talking with a clearly-attracted-to-me girl, and I feel this block instantly when I know it is time to make a move. I thought I am just afraid of rejection, and I always wondered why - I spent a lot of time figuring out what is the reason, why is that and how to tackle it.
This one night when I was on my way home... it clicked. It was so sudden, but felt so right I needed to post it here and ask for your opinion, as it feels like a breakthrough to me.
I am not scared of rejection. If somebody would give me a task "Go to this girl and say you like her" - I will, and I'm gonna enjoy it even if she rejects me. Its about something else: I am scared of showing interest. All the time narration automatically plays in my head that goes like: "Okay, act aloof now, because if you do, she will like you, because she likes you only if you are out of reach for her. As soon as you show any interest, she is going to lose interest in you, so don't show any - NEVER!"
...oh my fucking god. I can't belive I really had this in my head all the time. I remember being like this since 17yo - back then I was studying seduction from... well... RSD, and advices of :"Be unreactive! Don't show interest in her! Ignore her and she's yours!" stuck in my head so deep that I realized just today, after all this years, how silly it is that I even deemed it true. Not to blame RSD (or maybe a bit... lol), it's time to fix this and find a solution.
It seems straightforward. Just come up to a girl that clearly (or half-clearly) likes you and say "Hey, I like you!" I understand its an oversimplification and requires calibration...
And that is the part where I would love to ask your opinion about how should I proceed.
The most important thing: show sexual interest and dont beat around the bush. It solves the fear of moving things forward and lifts the weird feeling of hiding my motives.
Question: how to do it in the most effective, calibrated way, yet still make it obvious that I want her so I don't play this shitty narrative in my head?
I have an urge to experiment with just saying "Hey, I really like you and wanted to talk to you. Whats your name?" (of course minding things like eye contact, voice, body language etc.)
I can't wait to know your opinion, and thank you dearly for your answer! Very much appreciated!
