Skills Social Improvement Tips Anyone

[Joniman]

Hey Guys,

I have been having problems with my social skills recently. In middle school, I was really social and unafraid of situation especially with other guys. I was friends with most of the guys and had many girl friends and one girlfriend. But as I progressed, I became more quiet and developed I believe social anxiety. I don't necessarily fear talking to people. I actually like meeting new people rather I can't relate to the students and people at my high school(senior year!!). I can't basically engage my friends to make them invite me to parties. I cant even hold conversations enough with them to invite me or casually invite myself to eat lunch at table with them. I moved from Africa to US this past summer and I don't seem to make friends that are not from my country; I basically hang out with my African friends who are all female and who I don't really relate to in terms of interests.

Anyways, I don't see much of social hierarchical progression at my high school since it is a high school and since I have only one semester left. I want to become more social, not necessarily with women but with guys too, by the time I get to college and have a fresh start. So I have a couple of solutions that I think might help and I hope you provide feedback on my potential solutions or provide better solutions which you think is better.

Solution 1: Get A Job as a waiter at a trendy engaging restaurant that requires meeting new people every second. I am not talking about McDonald's where you stand there and pass on orders and where you don't need to act nice. I was thinking of TGI fridays which is close to my home. Any place I could work you recommend to improve social skills and decrease social judgment anxiety. Do you know a place where co-workers are very close to each other and engage each other and invite each other to parties or is that just in movies? Any place where teenagers work the most that are not dull fast food places? Or any other job other than sales (which I don't want. I hate them. No offense)

Solution 2: Bulk and Develop a Godly Body: I think having a muscular and atheistic body would provide more confidence to me. It will indirectly make me confident. Any insight? I am a thin scrawny guy. I am currently trying to increase weight and I gained 8 pounds this past 1.5 months. Mediocre results, I am seeking better results.

Thanks for anyone willing to help. Please consider the fact that I am a high school student so keep your advice related to me (I am not going to cold approach people on the street for now!). Any advice on first 2 months of college also appreciated

 

[NotRealFakeDude]

your first semester of college is one hell of a ride. I just finished my first semester and had the best time of my life.
I can definitely relate to you on being shy. I'm more the opposite tho. I was very shy and to my self for middle school and most of high school. I developed a group of friends where i was mostly the +1, odd man out most of the time. Now im a very social person with a lot of friends. The best way to overcome this is to just talk to people. Look up the article on building rapport. That has a lot of good points that work for girls and guys. Getting a job would probably help. I became friends with my coworkers in high school and went to party with them numerous times. I worked at a grocery store, not half bad.
It may seem obvious but the best way to overcome social anxiety is to be social and talk to people. Find people that you can relate too and make friends. Be friendly and try to relate to people.
I would recommend joining a fraternity if you want to party. Depending on the college too, but most college fraternities are known for partying. Personally im in a small fraternity in the south and I love it. Being in a fraternity opens up so many possibilities socially. My brothers are my best friends and every party we have i end up with a girl.
Make friends with people in your dorm and people in your classes.