FR Smooth number close, resistance later (how do i reply?)

[Scofield]

went to a pizza joint after all the bars/clubs closed. headed to the bathroom i see this gorgeous white girl in a sexy red dress. she's sitting at a table with 2 other girls and a guy eatting. on my way out of the bathroom, i went up to her table, touched her lightly on the back of her arm and said

me: hey sorry to bother you, but i just had to tell you that that is an absolutely killer dress
her: aww thanks!
me: what's your name?
her: ally
me: scofield
her: that is a killer name!
me: haha, thanks. you definitely weren't at club x tonight, because i definitely would have noticed you
her: nope we went to club y and club z
me: ahh, how was club y tonight?
her: terrible, it was all old people! like people in their 50's!
me: ah, it is saturday, club y is all old people on saturdays. if you want the young crowd you have to go on a sunday
her: i didn't know that!
me: well now you do, and tomorrow is a sunday if you can drag yourself off the couch
her: haha, maybe
me: well it was great meeting you
her: you too!
me: you know, we should talk some more, come get a drink with me sometime
her: actually we live in (small college town nearby)
me: that's where i went to school!
her: yeah, that's where we go!
(insert chat about the school and majors with me being very clever)
me: well, it was great meeting you.....seriously let's get a drink, you living a little further away shouldn't be a reason not to, i hang out there all the time anyways!
her: well why dont you give me your number...
me: well, i actually don't give out my number...
(her friend gasps for some reason)
her: what?!
me: we can trade numbers, but that is the best deal you're going to get...
her: alright, let's trade then!
we swap numbers
me: alright, ill text you later, once again great to meet you and you all enjoy your food

i looked at her friends and smiled...and they all had their jaws on the floor


of course just now they text exchange occurred:
me: hey ally, fantastic meeting you tonight
her: sorry i have a bf thought u should know

yeah, i highly doubt she really does have a boyfriend (just looked her up on fb too, no bf on the page or in pics). how should i reply?

It's kinda late and I can't really think atm, right now if i had to reply it'd probably be "that's cool, shouldn't make a difference though since i don't see how that means you can't meet up with me for a drink". any better ideas? I'll text her after i wake up.

 

[Tyme2k]

Re: FR: Smooth number close, resistance later (how do i rep

Update?

 

[Scofield]

Re: FR: Smooth number close, resistance later (how do i rep

talked to you last night, but for the sake of transparency, here is an update:

sent her a text that essentially said "hey, that's cool, but i don't see how that's relevant. that shouldn't stop us from meeting up for a drink or coffee"

no reply, 2 days later i sent another text that said:

"hey ally, i just finished my semester! let's get together for a drink and celebrate"

and she replied "i wouldn't be comfortable with that, i have a boyfriend, we only met once and it isn't necessary. congrats on finishing the semester"

i replied "of course it wouldn't be "necessary"....but we would both have a lot of fun"

she didn't reply to that and i don't see anything else i can say that'd make a difference. who knows, maybe she does really have a boyfriend.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: FR: Smooth number close, resistance later (how do i rep

Scofield

talked to you last night, but for the sake of transparency, here is an update:

sent her a text that essentially said "hey, that's cool, but i don't see how that's relevant. that shouldn't stop us from meeting up for a drink or coffee"

no reply, 2 days later i sent another text that said:

"hey ally, i just finished my semester! let's get together for a drink and celebrate"

and she replied "i wouldn't be comfortable with that, i have a boyfriend, we only met once and it isn't necessary. congrats on finishing the semester"

i replied "of course it wouldn't be "necessary"....but we would both have a lot of fun"

she didn't reply to that and i don't see anything else i can say that'd make a difference. who knows, maybe she does really have a boyfriend.

I find that the text "hey, that's cool, but i don't see how that's relevant, that shouldn't stop us from meeting up for a drink or coffee". You seem to be too commanding in that text, and you blow her off into auto-rejection.

I hope you add some emoticions in your second text . They are important. You look like you looking for fast lay. Nothing wrong with that though.

Zac

 

[Chase]

Re: FR: Smooth number close, resistance later (how do i rep

Scofield-

me: well it was great meeting you
her: you too!
me: you know, we should talk some more, come get a drink with me sometime
her: actually we live in (small college town nearby)

This is a brush off.

me: that's where i went to school!
her: yeah, that's where we go!
(insert chat about the school and majors with me being very clever)
me: well, it was great meeting you.....seriously let's get a drink, you living a little further away shouldn't be a reason not to, i hang out there all the time anyways!
her: well why dont you give me your number...

This is a brush off too.

of course just now they text exchange occurred:
me: hey ally, fantastic meeting you tonight
her: sorry i have a bf thought u should know

yeah, i highly doubt she really does have a boyfriend (just looked her up on fb too, no bf on the page or in pics).

Also a brush off.

The main thing here is that the conversation / connection / vibe is off. I wouldn't be analyzing what to text; the analysis you need is, "Why didn't she want to see me again?"

When someone meets you in an end-of-the-night pizza joint, the assumption is, "Oh, some drunk club loser who couldn't get laid and is here trying to pick up scraps," and your conversation and vibe needs to be about shooting this out of the sky. Your vibe should be, "Hey, I'm just here for the pizza - well, cool talking to you," and then either pull that night, or don't suggest a date / trading numbers without strong buy-in from her first.

From what I can tell, your vibe was, "Hey, just got out of the club - you were clubbing too! Light superficial banter... hey, let's hang out!" At this point, all she knows about you is that you're some guy who was clubbing, is out meeting girls, obviously hasn't succeeding at getting laid that night (negative preselection - women don't want you), and is now obviously trying to get HER. It's the exact opposite of what you want to be conveying (indifference, nonchalance, coolness, smoothness, etc.).

I'd work on vibe and conversation and the message you're communicating in person - that's what's going to make the difference here. End of night is particularly difficult, unless you're doing end of night street game - end of night street game says, "I'm bolder and more confident than most men - I didn't get laid yet, but I probably will soon." End of night pizza joint game, unless you're SUPER cool and you're getting the girls to hit on you, says, "I wanted to get laid, couldn't, but I just saw you here at this pizza joint so figured I'd take a shot." In this way, pizza joint game at night's end is actually probably significantly harder than night-end street game. All the guys you'll see picking up in pizza joints are super cool or really good looking guys, picking up girls lower social status / lower on the looks scale than them... you've got to date down to make up for the desperation effect inherent in the venue.

Don't beat yourself up over it too much - that's tough game to run. You'd do better with street - pizza's got to be surprisingly well-tuned.

Chase