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Sneaky BIHC (Ball in Her Court) texting

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
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1,336
This post inspired to write this.
Felt like sharing because it's so simple, yet so effective.
When you try to soft close and get a brief answer, this is my go to text:

"Ohh, I see...you seem to be very busy these next few days"

This is so sneaky that she won't help but try to justify herself, which is obviously a good thing because it creates positive compliance.
Recent e.g.:

(After 10 days of no contact from my part, I sent her a text):
Me: Afternoon
Geez, sorry about my delay, was traveling on vacation e arrived only today
Was not even checking my phone
Her: Afternoon
I see

Me: It was my nephew's bd, he and his sister are on a really fun kid's phase
How is your pre-holiday week?

Her: Yeah, I saw you posted something with them (she has my ig)
Week is little bit hushed

Me: Oh I see..I will get back to work tomorrow, will skip friday cause of the holiday and prob work saturday again
A little bit of a weird schedule, but that is what I had to do
But who knows, if our schedule allows, maybe we can do something fun on friday

Her: I can't
(waited a day, then answered)
Me: Morning
Ohh, I see...you seem to be very busy these next few days

Her: Morning
I am...exam week
So sorry :(


And now we are talking again on even terms.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,126
@POB,

I like this a lot!

Open-ended, puts the social pressure on her to explain herself (rather than leave it ambiguous, e.g., "I can't"), plus your intentions are unclear and she can't tell if you're disappointed in her or just stating an observation with zero emotion tied to it -- she has to reply to keep the connection stable + find out.

Smooth!

Chase
 
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POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
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Messages
1,336
@POB,

I like this a lot!

Open-ended, puts the social pressure on her to explain herself (rather than leave it ambiguous, e.g., "I can't"), plus your intentions are unclear and she can't tell if you're disappointed in her or just stating an observation with zero emotion tied to it -- she has to reply to keep the connection stable + find out.

Smooth!

Chase
Thx a lot man....sometimes I just stumble on those gems through my regular interactions and feel like they deserve a share.
 
Last edited:

JasonH

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Messages
38
Is there a phone call equivalent to this?

Eg you mention a ‘hang out’ with no date specified, and she mentions she’s keen bit busy this week.
You: ‘yeah you sound quite busy, anyway how is X going’

Question is then how do you loop back around to a better date close?

Or is it better to banter to high point, then end call and save the date confirmation for another phone call?
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
1,336
Is there a phone call equivalent to this?

Eg you mention a ‘hang out’ with no date specified, and she mentions she’s keen bit busy this week.
You: ‘yeah you sound quite busy, anyway how is X going’

Question is then how do you loop back around to a better date close?

Or is it better to banter to high point, then end call and save the date confirmation for another phone call?
I don't do calls anymore, so can't help you in that department.
When she answers, you just banther a bit more and try a soft close again.
Just don't try to hard close after a "can't do day X" from her, that's the worst you can do.
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,977
Is there a phone call equivalent to this?

Eg you mention a ‘hang out’ with no date specified, and she mentions she’s keen bit busy this week.
You: ‘yeah you sound quite busy, anyway how is X going’

Question is then how do you loop back around to a better date close?

Or is it better to banter to high point, then end call and save the date confirmation for another phone call?
Gen z not phone call... Some do face time
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
142
Always have to fight to get my daughter to actually talk to me.
 

empath

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
456
When to use this BIHC and when to use this resurrection text?

From this article



  • You're going to wait 4+ weeks with no contact between the two of you
  • Then you're going to text her an apology for having been so busy and having fallen off the radar with her
  • In the same (long) text, you are going to ask how she is, tell her your schedule's opened up a bit, and tell her the two of you should get a bite or a drink and to send you her schedule

I think I will first to do BHIC because its less investment on my part.

Then the 2nd one from article.

@POB
@Chase
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

empath

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
456
When to use this BIHC and when to use this resurrection text?

From this article



  • You're going to wait 4+ weeks with no contact between the two of you
  • Then you're going to text her an apology for having been so busy and having fallen off the radar with her
  • In the same (long) text, you are going to ask how she is, tell her your schedule's opened up a bit, and tell her the two of you should get a bite or a drink and to send you her schedule

I think I will first to do BHIC because its less investment on my part.

Then the 2nd one from article.

@POB
@Chase
Ohh well got it @Chase replied here

https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ng-chases-biyc-ball-in-your-court-text.28362/

Gist is 3-4 weeks for bihc and then 2.5-3 months in resurrection text
 

empath

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
456
I have used it as well on moderately interested girls who dont reply me/ghost me

I guess I will need to break up with you :p

Idk why it works, though
 
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