Sometimes self reflecting means listening to the trivial signs as well

[Average]

I just found out that I'm an asshole. I always thought that I was a white knight and teetered towards nice guy. But recently in whatsapp, there was a group chat with me and 2 friends and some girls inside. Eventually me and one of my friends got into a fight and he left the group. The problem is....I didn't know it was a fight. I just thought we were just giving each other a hard time and having fun. But when he left and I asked him why, he told me not to speak to him again and he deleted my numbers.

That happened a while back tho. But the other friend brought us back together and now everything's cool.

When self reflecting I always thought I was a nice guy and that people had fun by teasing and busting balls. But I guess that the signs were there when I looked at how other people were acting amongst themselves. Sometimes when they "teased" each other the jokes would seem bland to me and I would instantly think of a meaner version of that joke which I could use on somebody someday so I could get more laughs. (Lol. As I type that out I can see how mean that was of me)

There were many more signs that I am in the jerk phase of my growth. Like attainability. Most of the girls who rejected me showed signs that my attainability was too low, even though I thought that the signs meant my attainability was too high.

I guess that that just goes to show how easy it is for us to fall deeply into misconceptions. Even though everybody called me an asshole and fought with me a lot or just plainly ignored me, I guess i still couldn't see it.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the lesson is here. Maybe that anything is possible or that opinion does not equal truth no matter how strong it is.

Nb: it could be the reason why I may not have many friends. But that's still under investigation.

 

[Hue]

That phrase "everybody thinks they're the good guy" is true as fuck until some serious self reflection (and even then.. self-serving bias). I know that's been the case for me.

Once I figured out that my sharp tongue comments were actually hurting peoples' feelings, I felt pretty oblivious. Still kinda do, actually. End of the day it doesn't really matter if people are fucking around or not, some people might still take it personally. There [i[are[/i] times where calling people out it totally appropriate, but that's a different matter..


Not sure if this kind of thing is from having low empathy or something closer to lack of self-awareness.


Reading up on how to develop your EQ (emotional intelligence) is something I've taken to after reading parts Hector's post on GC misconceptions, in order to improve myself in this way.

Even being aware of the fact it's happening is still growth though.

Peace peace,

Hueman

 

[Average]

Yeah. Quite true man. Its funny how a lot of things we think we know about ourselves can turn out to be wrong. I know a lot of people who think their on one end of the line, when in reality their on the other end. Could be denial. But at least I got my realisation. that's the first step to getting results I think. Realising exactly what it is your doing and admitting who you are.