Standards too high...but where should I set them?

[hater58]

So at 23 with no experience at all(no hookups, dates, etc.), I have realized that I need to start being a lot less picky if I am going to get better with women. I read the article below recently:

Lower Your Standards (and Date Hotter Girls)

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?," Balla asks whether to lower your standards in pursuit of getting the best results with women achievable: “Hey Chase, I can agree with everything you wrote to a T. What I want to ask about is this. You say naturals are better to learn from...

www.girlschase.com

and have been thinking about it. I've gone out a small bit in the last 3 weeks, and done 8 approaches, resulting in one phone number, from a 31 Year Old woman with a couple kids. She has been hitting me up about doing something this weekend.

I know I should be willing to take what I can get at this point, but i feel like a single mom in her 30s is too low, especially since she is black and I have never been attracted to a black girl in my life. Any thoughts?

 

[Kvothe]

Use a binary or ternary scale.

If she were naked and in front of you, begging for you to fuck her, would you? If yes, approach her.

As a heuristic, try to approach at least 3 girls a day (I would shoot for at least 5). 8 girls in 3 weeks is definitely not enough to grow fast. The fact you got the number is great though, and shows you’re starting off well!

 

[hater58]

Use a binary or ternary scale.

If she were naked and in front of you, begging for you to fuck her, would you? If yes, approach her.

As a heuristic, try to approach at least 3 girls a day (I would shoot for at least 5). 8 girls in 3 weeks is definitely not enough to grow fast. The fact you got the number is great though, and shows you’re starting off well!

Sounds good, will employ that. In this case it would be a no though, lol. I am actually in an 8 week coaching program right now. I did it because I expected him to give me assignments that would force me to approach numbers, but so far his assignments have not been very difficult at all.

 

[Mike Silvertree]

I know I should be willing to take what I can get at this point, but i feel like a single mom in her 30s is too low, especially since she is black and I have never been attracted to a black girl in my life. Any thoughts?

You should not go after women you are not attracted to. It's manipulative and it will make you feel bad if you do score.

Everything in life is on a Bell Curve. If you are not getting laid because you are going after girls on the high end of the curve, the solution is not to go to the other extreme. Reread Chase's article above. There should be a lot of women you interact with who aren't single moms you don't find attractive, that are moderately attractive or better, and are not psycho.

Pay attention and you will notice acceptable women who are attracted to you. An average, not fat, not weird, not insane, not looking for marriage before sex, OK looking woman can be a lot of fun. And, if you have no experience with women, a girlfriend can be a great learning experience. You get regular sex and lots of hours interacting with a woman in a relationship. It's like driving a car or hitting a golf ball; time doing it really improves your game, especially when you are a rookie. Most young women have a series of boyfriends that last from a week or two to a few months. You can always break up with her when it becomes tedious. And, you don't start by offering a relationship, that happens only after sex on each meeting is a given and you are getting along when not being sexual. Start with an easy date, a drink or coffee, and see how it goes. Keep escalating towards isolation and sex on each meeting. If there is not movement towards sex or she verbalizes that she needs a long time before sex, bail out. Set a three interaction limit to get to sex. 1 Drink, 2 cheap restaurant dinner, 3 dinner/movie at your place, then it's over if no sex.

Plan ahead how you're going to behave after sex. That was difficult for me as a rookie. You need to be comfortable with what just happened. If you do not find the girl attractive, that will be very akward. Snuggle and talk. Don't be in a hurry to end things. Tell her she was great. Try to fuck her again. Do not bring up a relationship. If you like her, get her phone number and set up a second meet up.

 

[hater58]

Use a binary or ternary scale.

If she were naked and in front of you, begging for you to fuck her, would you? If yes, approach her.

As a heuristic, try to approach at least 3 girls a day (I would shoot for at least 5). 8 girls in 3 weeks is definitely not enough to grow fast. The fact you got the number is great though, and shows you’re starting off well!

Makes sense, quitting porn is definitely helping me feel attracted to more women as well. I don't live in a major city though, which makes doing 3-5 approaches pretty difficult unless it is Fri/Sat night.

 

[Fuck This]

Makes sense, quitting porn is definitely helping me feel attracted to more women as well. I don't live in a major city though, which makes doing 3-5 approaches pretty difficult unless it is Fri/Sat night.

Get a job in retail sales to get over the approach anxiety. You will be amazed at how many more approach opportunities you see in your everyday life AND you will become better at reading body language.

 

[hater58]

Get a job in retail sales to get over the approach anxiety. You will be amazed at how many more approach opportunities you see in your everyday life AND you will become better at reading body language.

I already work a 9-5 office job so that is not feasible tbh, I will need to find something else

 

[Fuck This]

Your argument is invalid...I know a number of school teachers who work retail jobs, or restaurant jobs as well during the school year. 3 hours 3x a week. Maybe a weekend shift. Shiiit who only has ONLY one job any more...

 

[hater58]

So the quarantine has not been advantageous, but I did find a girl in my department who I feel would be down, but I am not totally sure how to approach it.

It is a good opportunity, but I don't want other people in the department to find out, for a lot of reasons. She was being really flirtatious at a department event in front of other people which did cause them to take notice/react more than I would like.

We are on quarantine(WFH) for at least the rest of the month, and she lives pretty near me(less then 1/2 mile) and I am wondering if I should ask her to hang out so we can keep building raport and progress physically. But I also don't want to be too forward with it.. What do you guys think?

I should add that we have been talking on the company IM regularly.