Starting out.... Dating coaches, therapists, wings, mentors etc.

[ElderPrice]

I don't think that limiting beliefs are holding me back. That's the problem. I saw a therapist for depression and they clearly told me that they can help with my depressive thoughts but can't get me dates and that I can't expect that to change as a result of therapy.

Bro, you don't think limiting beliefs are holding you back? Look at the very last line in your most recent post:

I must be a really bottom tier guy.

With this comment, and with how often you use the negative term "incel" in this thread, IMO it's as clear as day: You have very low self esteem. To start building self esteem, you need to start recognizing the amazing traits YOU ALREADY HAVE. Ricardus already pointed out a couple. You have a job, you have a nice body. Keep going. Make a list of all your positive traits. ALL of them. You need to seriously think about this. The goal is to shift your mindset in life from "here's everything I don't have" to "here's all the awesome things I do have." All you've got to do is think about it and give it awareness, then watch how your life changes.

If you don't address this, of course this negativity will hold you back! You can have the most perfect openers, the most perfect profile photos, you could have the best coach in the world standing right next to you telling you what to do... None of it will work if your vibe reeks of debbie downer because on the inside you actually think of yourself as a "really bottom tier guy."

Learn to own your traits, embrace them positively, and truly believe in yourself, then you'll never have to spend a dime on coaching again!

 

[raiden]

Bro, you don't think limiting beliefs are holding you back? Look at the very last line in your most recent post:


With this comment, and with how often you use the negative term "incel" in this thread, IMO it's as clear as day: You have very low self esteem. To start building self esteem, you need to start recognizing the amazing traits YOU ALREADY HAVE. Ricardus already pointed out a couple. You have a job, you have a nice body. Keep going. Make a list of all your positive traits. ALL of them. You need to seriously think about this. The goal is to shift your mindset in life from "here's everything I don't have" to "here's all the awesome things I do have." All you've got to do is think about it and give it awareness, then watch how your life changes.

If you don't address this, of course this negativity will hold you back! You can have the most perfect openers, the most perfect profile photos, you could have the best coach in the world standing right next to you telling you what to do... None of it will work if your vibe reeks of debbie downer because on the inside you actually think of yourself as a "really bottom tier guy."

Learn to own your traits, embrace them positively, and truly believe in yourself, then you'll never have to spend a dime on coaching again!

I've gone through a few courses on the the Jordan Peterson self authoring suite, which contains stuff like listing out positive traits. In my eyes, having a job is a negative to get women because firstly I experienced even less interest from women when I went from being a student to an employee and secondly, because a job takes up 9-11 hours per day all of which could be spent approaching (because if you get 1 date out of 500 painful approaches it's arguably still better than 20 approaches and 0 dates...and that can only work if you can schedule those 500 approaches). And a good body is negative or neutral, as I have described here. I really believe that I have no positives regarding attractiveness. I have to think of myself as an underdog who has a fighting chance.

I am a bottom tier guy. I must be. It is my choice to try to work my way out of it or not but I shouldn't deceive myself. A guy over 30 who is still incel must be the lowest of the low... isn't it true? As far as I'm concerned, my views are backed up by the evidence that I have seen and lived. I'm going to have to learn how to do well while I am in this cycle of negativity because I think that only good results can get me out of the negativity.

 

[Will_V]

Most of the guys who come here with problems need to do nothing but work on themselves and their social life. Cold approach daygame is the pinnacle of social skills, not the beginning. It's the SAS of pickup, it's psychologically brutal, requires very fine-tuned radar and calibration, you get almost zero direct feedback when you fail, and you have to eat rejection after rejection with absolute humility, focusing on intense self-evaluation and fixing one small thing at a time.

The best way to approach it as a beginner, in my opinion, is as a social exercise. Most guys have never asked themselves 'if I can't even have a pleasant conversation with a stranger, why do I even think I can seduce her?'. Because simply having a conversation with a stranger feels weird to them, they never tried it. But they never thought 'if I can't make it not weird for me, how can it possibly be not weird for her?'.

Even those who do realize the absolute necessity of good social skills often fail to realize that having pleasant conversations doesn't get you laid. Because daygame is a combination of demonstrating exceptionality while proving that you understand normality, in the space of a few minutes, with someone you never met before, who has no reason to even pay attention to you. Nobody said it was easy did they?

The two things in my opinion that are most crucial for daygame, beyond an exceptional social skills foundation, are: playfulness and self-belief. Neither of which (let alone social skills to begin with) is remotely present in the average guy who panics at how womanless his life has become (with everything else on fire as well) and tries to go and fix it by spam approaching at the mall.

The thing about playfulness is that it makes an interaction enjoyable in the first place, without regard to who is involved and their specific characteristics. Nobody wants to talk to a random stranger to begin with, let alone about anything remotely serious. Playfulness makes it possible for the conversation to have spontaneity and lightness, for words to lose their specific meaning and become nothing more than vehicles of energy, emotion, and pleasure. Playfulness also conveys a lack of investment, a lack of desperation, an enthusiasm for life, and a sense of dominance and gameness without being overbearing. All things that make it possible for her to relax into it.

What makes self-belief important is that only 1% of what you think about yourself is actually apparent in the diffusion of words and body language that you convey. If you think you are a bit above average, you are absolutely and definitely average. If you think you could fight a saber tooth tiger with your bare hands right now, she'll think 'hmm he seems like a sort of confident guy' and be vaguely interested. In daygame, your presence has to be effusive with desire, ambition, love for the world and your place in it - and also calm, present, and able to hold tension. It requires astronomically more than what the average guy experiences on a day to day basis, and yet the difference between success and failure lies in the fine margins between things, in the subtleties that most people are never conscious of.

Again, if a guy is coming at this from even a remotely negative place, it's almost impossible to succeed. Those who think it's just a question of going and saying some words are like people who think that being as good an actor as Leo Dicaprio is just a question of saying the same words and not looking anxious. Or that writing a good novel is just a question of stringing together the same type of words found in any other novel. A good pickup line is like a great author giving you the first page of a book. It doesn't matter how good it is, if you don't have a clue, no one will make it past the first line of the second page, let alone all the rest, without bailing. Daygame (and game in general) is very much like writing and artwork in that it's more about the spaces and questions in between things than it is about the things. It's about the questions that she asks herself about you (and what did you even do to arouse her curiosity?), the meaning of the silence and the fleeting expression that passed on your face between something she says and your response, the perfect tension created by the balance between your warm and genuine smile and your proximity and touch. Seduction is all about the desire to answer questions that were never asked, questions that can only be answered in one way.

So if all of this makes no sense to you, it's probably because you need to focus on the fundamental skills of socializing, the ability to carry a conversation, to have good posture, good eye contact, a firm tone, the ability to get out of your head, to stay calm under pressure. All of which require hours and hours each of practice in many different settings to hone. And then you will be having a normal conversation and ask yourself, 'why can't I just play with this or that, and see what happens?'

 

[ulrich]

I am a bottom tier guy. I must be. It is my choice to try to work my way out of it or not but I shouldn't deceive myself. A guy over 30 who is still incel must be the lowest of the low... isn't it true?

No need to go down that far into a circle of negativity.

You having a job and a good body are not neutral or negative things, they are positive!!
They are just not that impressive.
I’d say, you’re surely better than 15-20% of men who don’t care at all.

Better think of this as a skill you have not acquired.
That is a more productive way to look at this.

Seducing women is a skill… maybe a somewhat complex and sometimes confusing skill… but definitely a skill that YOU CAN acquire.

 

[ElderPrice]

I've gone through a few courses on the the Jordan Peterson self authoring suite, which contains stuff like listing out positive traits. In my eyes, having a job is a negative to get women because firstly I experienced even less interest from women when I went from being a student to an employee and secondly, because a job takes up 9-11 hours per day all of which could be spent approaching (because if you get 1 date out of 500 painful approaches it's arguably still better than 20 approaches and 0 dates...and that can only work if you can schedule those 500 approaches). And a good body is negative or neutral, as I have described here. I really believe that I have no positives regarding attractiveness. I have to think of myself as an underdog who has a fighting chance.

This is a helpful reply because you've revealed that you have a HUGE misunderstanding.

When me, the other board members, or Jordan Peterson tells you to be positive and list out your positive traits, the idea is that these are the positive traits THAT MEAN A LOT TO YOU.

If you interpret the instruction as 'traits that help with women,' you are COMPLETELY missing the point. Fuck what other people (including women) think. The point of the exercise is to highlight what YOU think about these traits.

Do YOU like having a job instead of being a dependent loser? GOOD. EMBRACE IT and BELIEVE in your choice.
Do YOU like having a strong body forged in the gym instead of being a fat, lazy slob? GOOD. EMBRACE IT and BELIEVE in your choice.
You've made decisions in life not to get laid but because you made good, sound, logical decisions. GOOD. BELIEVE in the choices you made regardless of what some article says about how it affects your odds with women (an article that you may be misunderstanding).

I am a bottom tier guy. I must be. It is my choice to try to work my way out of it or not but I shouldn't deceive myself. A guy over 30 who is still incel must be the lowest of the low... isn't it true? As far as I'm concerned, my views are backed up by the evidence that I have seen and lived. I'm going to have to learn how to do well while I am in this cycle of negativity because I think that only good results can get me out of the negativity.

Nobody is arguing with your premise that being an older virgin/newbie is a rough place to be.

What you're not getting is that there's a HUGE other side to this that you're simply unaware of. Your brain has built and reinforced such a strong mental habit of being dependent on external validation, that you can't even comprehend the idea of internal validation. Most likely this habit has been in your head since childhood. Fortunately, with willpower and work, you can fix this.

At this point, you've been given so much advice, you need to pick something that constitutes a big change for you, and start working on it. Then report back for more guidance.

I hope your next reply signals more openness to the ideas discussed, because if you really think you have it all figured out and you can't be wrong about anything, then I would revise my previous position to instead do NOT see a therapist, or a coach, or anybody. You'd only be wasting their time, and yours.

Please be open to the idea that there's a lot going on here that you don't understand. This is a GOOD THING - it means there's a LOT of positive, helpful changes you can make that can help you get out of this "cycle of negativity" and get you toward the results you want in life.

 

[raiden]

Most of the guys who come here with problems need to do nothing but work on themselves and their social life. Cold approach daygame is the pinnacle of social skills, not the beginning. It's the SAS of pickup, it's psychologically brutal, requires very fine-tuned radar and calibration, you get almost zero direct feedback when you fail, and you have to eat rejection after rejection with absolute humility, focusing on intense self-evaluation and fixing one small thing at a time.

The best way to approach it as a beginner, in my opinion, is as a social exercise. Most guys have never asked themselves 'if I can't even have a pleasant conversation with a stranger, why do I even think I can seduce her?'. Because simply having a conversation with a stranger feels weird to them, they never tried it. But they never thought 'if I can't make it not weird for me, how can it possibly be not weird for her?'.

Even those who do realize the absolute necessity of good social skills often fail to realize that having pleasant conversations doesn't get you laid. Because daygame is a combination of demonstrating exceptionality while proving that you understand normality, in the space of a few minutes, with someone you never met before, who has no reason to even pay attention to you. Nobody said it was easy did they?

The two things in my opinion that are most crucial for daygame, beyond an exceptional social skills foundation, are: playfulness and self-belief. Neither of which (let alone social skills to begin with) is remotely present in the average guy who panics at how womanless his life has become (with everything else on fire as well) and tries to go and fix it by spam approaching at the mall.

The thing about playfulness is that it makes an interaction enjoyable in the first place, without regard to who is involved and their specific characteristics. Nobody wants to talk to a random stranger to begin with, let alone about anything remotely serious. Playfulness makes it possible for the conversation to have spontaneity and lightness, for words to lose their specific meaning and become nothing more than vehicles of energy, emotion, and pleasure. Playfulness also conveys a lack of investment, a lack of desperation, an enthusiasm for life, and a sense of dominance and gameness without being overbearing. All things that make it possible for her to relax into it.

What makes self-belief important is that only 1% of what you think about yourself is actually apparent in the diffusion of words and body language that you convey. If you think you are a bit above average, you are absolutely and definitely average. If you think you could fight a saber tooth tiger with your bare hands right now, she'll think 'hmm he seems like a sort of confident guy' and be vaguely interested. In daygame, your presence has to be effusive with desire, ambition, love for the world and your place in it - and also calm, present, and able to hold tension. It requires astronomically more than what the average guy experiences on a day to day basis, and yet the difference between success and failure lies in the fine margins between things, in the subtleties that most people are never conscious of.

Again, if a guy is coming at this from even a remotely negative place, it's almost impossible to succeed. Those who think it's just a question of going and saying some words are like people who think that being as good an actor as Leo Dicaprio is just a question of saying the same words and not looking anxious. Or that writing a good novel is just a question of stringing together the same type of words found in any other novel. A good pickup line is like a great author giving you the first page of a book. It doesn't matter how good it is, if you don't have a clue, no one will make it past the first line of the second page, let alone all the rest, without bailing. Daygame (and game in general) is very much like writing and artwork in that it's more about the spaces and questions in between things than it is about the things. It's about the questions that she asks herself about you (and what did you even do to arouse her curiosity?), the meaning of the silence and the fleeting expression that passed on your face between something she says and your response, the perfect tension created by the balance between your warm and genuine smile and your proximity and touch. Seduction is all about the desire to answer questions that were never asked, questions that can only be answered in one way.

So if all of this makes no sense to you, it's probably because you need to focus on the fundamental skills of socializing, the ability to carry a conversation, to have good posture, good eye contact, a firm tone, the ability to get out of your head, to stay calm under pressure. All of which require hours and hours each of practice in many different settings to hone. And then you will be having a normal conversation and ask yourself, 'why can't I just play with this or that, and see what happens?'

Ok I get this. Cold approach is the very toughest social skill and requires the person doing it to have a bit of inspiration and creativity. The playfulness and self belief won't come through if I have any negativity because these need to be present in very large quantities to come through in a brief cold approach interaction. It's like an actor having to overact when they do voice acting. But I will say that, as far as I know, posture, eye contact, conversationalist skills and staying calm are relatively easy skills compared with pulling off a successful approach (I guess that was your point). Then how do guys who haven't gone through all of this to learn this skill get any dates at all? Basically, is there any easier way or any shortcut?

This is a helpful reply because you've revealed that you have a HUGE misunderstanding.

When me, the other board members, or Jordan Peterson tells you to be positive and list out your positive traits, the idea is that these are the positive traits THAT MEAN A LOT TO YOU.

If you interpret the instruction as 'traits that help with women,' you are COMPLETELY missing the point. Fuck what other people (including women) think. The point of the exercise is to highlight what YOU think about these traits.

Do YOU like having a job instead of being a dependent loser? GOOD. EMBRACE IT and BELIEVE in your choice.
Do YOU like having a strong body forged in the gym instead of being a fat, lazy slob? GOOD. EMBRACE IT and BELIEVE in your choice.
You've made decisions in life not to get laid but because you made good, sound, logical decisions. GOOD. BELIEVE in the choices you made regardless of what some article says about how it affects your odds with women (an article that you may be misunderstanding).


Nobody is arguing with your premise that being an older virgin/newbie is a rough place to be.

What you're not getting is that there's a HUGE other side to this that you're simply unaware of. Your brain has built and reinforced such a strong mental habit of being dependent on external validation, that you can't even comprehend the idea of internal validation. Most likely this habit has been in your head since childhood. Fortunately, with willpower and work, you can fix this.

At this point, you've been given so much advice, you need to pick something that constitutes a big change for you, and start working on it. Then report back for more guidance.

I hope your next reply signals more openness to the ideas discussed, because if you really think you have it all figured out and you can't be wrong about anything, then I would revise my previous position to instead do NOT see a therapist, or a coach, or anybody. You'd only be wasting their time, and yours.

Please be open to the idea that there's a lot going on here that you don't understand. This is a GOOD THING - it means there's a LOT of positive, helpful changes you can make that can help you get out of this "cycle of negativity" and get you toward the results you want in life.

When I was younger I was choosing between different jobs. My logic was "choose higher pay because people say that more money leads to more attractiveness". That was my actual logic. So imagine my feeling when I discover that having a job is a negative - to me at least - to getting dates. Being in shape takes huge effort to maintain while others have spare time to play their video games. That has been my thinking this year. I originally came on GC over 5 years ago because my aim was "be married with a kid on the way by age 30." It looks like many bad experiences totally destroyed me. Anyway, I have my advice from this thread. First, I work on being comfortable in all manner of social situations, then I aim for making female friends and then I see what can be done next.

 

[reeax]

If you're a huge guy, why not get hired as a bouncer at a local nightclub?

• You'll know what to do on weekend nights.
• You'll be in a position of authority, which is attractive.
• You will be noticed by all the girls who go there.

In my opinion, you could score an easy lay or two just by being there at the end of the night.

 

[reeax]

Also, for everyday situations, everyone in this thread seems to focus on the psychological aspects, but no one addresses the gorilla in the room In other words, your huge size is probably your biggest disadvantage, as you probably visually scare most people (men/women) you come in contact with.

Imagine a WWF sized guy with 19-inch arms, shaved head, in a tank top, coming slowly at you in the middle of the street and asking you how your day is going ... The girls are probably already looking for their pepper spray in the bag.

You need to downplay this intimidating image as much as possible. I don't know how you look like, but you should for example:

• Let your hair grow in a ponytail, do not shave the sides.
• Get a pair of glasses, clear lenses without correction (if you don't need them), no sunglasses.
• High-end dress shirt, not too tight. Leather shoes. A nice watch.
• Like art? Have a fucking book related to art in your hand if needed.

When you go from looking intimidating to an intellectual nice guy appearance, your huge size will probably become an advantage.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

In my eyes, having a job is a negative

And a good body is negative or neutral

I really believe that I have no positives regarding attractiveness.

I must be a really bottom tier guy.

I guess I was wrong... You don’t have any limiting beliefs after all. Whoops!

I will help you more if you want, but on one condition... read the following 3 books and do the exercises in them to rewire your belief system:

“Mind Lines” by Michael Hall
“The Work” by Byron Katie
“Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins

You will not make even one inch of progress as long as you have this kind of outlook... and it can be fixed.

As far as I'm concerned, my views are backed up by the evidence that I have seen and lived.

It's a cycle. Your negative beliefs create negative experiences which then feed back to confirm your negative beliefs and strengthen them.

The leverage is with the beliefs. Watch the following video for an explanation... it's about business, but it applies to dating the same way:

Last post from me on this thread... if you read the 3 books, send me a PM and I'll post more.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

It's a cycle. Your negative beliefs create negative experiences which then feed back to confirm your negative beliefs and strengthen them.

By the way I'd like to rephrase this because the way I put it made it sound like "it's your fault" because of your beliefs / negativity.

Not quite the case because it really IS a cycle - so which came first, the chicken or the egg? Probably the negative experiences came first, even if they were caused by beliefs that were unconscious at the time. So negative beliefs seem like facts as they are backed up by a lot of experience.

That's why it's so important to use powerful reframing techniques to dislodge them and why I recommended the books.

I'd rephrase as follows: "you've made negative experiences in the past, which created negative beliefs, which then fed back into your behaviors (more timid, lower vibe etc.) yielding even more negative experiences and further strengthening the negative beliefs."

This isn't anyone's fault. It's usually circumstances during childhood, formative years, early puberty. Guys who get laid early end up having an easy time with women all their lives because their beliefs are wired up that way from the start. Late bloomers have a lot of re-wiring to do.

Not your fault BUT entirely your responsibility to fix it, get the distinction?

This just as a clarification, rest of the advice still stands - gradually reduce screen time, increase social time, make female friends (even unattractive ones) etc. and, get to work reframing your beliefs.

 

[Bismarck]

Yeah. I had it to a point where I was quite consistent with it once, but I can't even do it now. It's advanced, it requires momentum, a lot of confidence, great fundamentals, great verbal game and a great vibe. Not for beginners at all.

I gave this a lot of thought a few months ago as I'm starting over as a beginner myself basically. With a lot of knowledge and experience, but no recent success or momentum. I forgot a lot of what I had internalized and am re-learning from scratch. So I can see the problem:

• Street stops require confidence that comes from success, so not a good place to start.
• Online game is rigged against us these days (always was, to be honest... more on that below)
• Social circle is risky, and with low momentum if you strike out on a female friend it's embarrassing
• Clubs are too loud, competitive, dark, all that
• If you go after girls that are too hot, with low momentum you will be smitten
• If you go after girls that aren't hot enough, it won't really build your confidence

The list goes on... but it's a total catch 22 all around, yes? No matter how you look at it, it's just road blocks everywhere. It basically seems impossible from the perspective of a guy who's not currently getting laid to get even 1 girl, leave alone a real playboy lifestyle. I can really relate to this perspective now. Which I think is great. I think it's going to help me help other guys out better once I'm back on top.

Yeah man, this "teaching total newbies direct game on walking targets that look like models" is absurd. I'm not sure how it ever caught on, but I'm sure it contributed to the general negativity guys have towards dating these days (along with the apps).

But so what's the solution? What kind of game can you even run when you're low on confidence and momentum and vibe and social skills? These are my thoughts:

1. Don't try to get the girl yet. This is not step 1 in your development. Three steps to build your social skills with men and women in general:
   1. Build a social life. At the VERY minimum, you should meet people twice a week. Once a week do a group thing, and once a week hang out with a friend one on one. Better to do this 3-4 times a week rather than twice.
   2. Add females to your social life! You need to become as comfortable shooting the shit with women as you are shooting the shit with guys who have the same interests as you. If you can't talk to a girl for a few hours and have it be fun, how can you seduce one?
   3. Become a "scenster". (I know the word has negative connotations... whatever). Find out where cool venues are to go out at night and start hanging out there. Not the loud ones. Just befriend people there, don't go for pickup yet. See and be seen, make some friends.
2. Once you do start to talk to girls, avoid all the difficult sets. Focus on 2 kinds of sets only as a beginner:
   1. Groups! I know group sets seem scarier but they're actually a lot easier. You can just talk to the girls who aren't your type or to the guys in the group, so there's no intimidation factor. Just practice befriending the whole group for now.
   2. Lone wolves. Talk to girls who are alone, but not the ones who are walking. Focus on girls that are just standing around somewhere, or seated. Stopping a girl that's currently walking somewhere is just a lot harder than talking to a captive audience
   3. Remember! Do not do any of this (approaching either groups or stationary lone wolves) until AFTER you have built your social life, added female friends and started just befriending people in the "scene" of your city. Approach is step 4! Not step 1.
3. Finally, when you try to get girls on dates, I recommend focusing on a very narrow range of girls in terms of their looks.
   1. As I said above, you don't want to go after girls that are your ideal type. They will make you nervous but more importantly, even if you get them, there's a huge chance you will be smitten with them, fall in love quickly or otherwise lose control of the situation
   2. Also avoid girls that you aren't actually attracted to for "practice". If you sleep with girls you don't actually like, I find it can actually hurt your self image and make you less confident rather than more.
   3. Target a "narrow range" of girls that you feel drawn to and that you find sexy and attractive and that you would like to have some fun with, but that are not your ideal type.

In my experience, online has always been shit for average looking guys. I never did that well with it. I got some lays here and there but even 10-15 years ago it was a huge numbers game as pictures are front and center and you can't convey your charisma, body language, etc.

Tinder has made this worse, I guess on dating sites guys used to date down 1-2 points and now it's 3 points but the concept is pretty much the same. Online game was always frowned upon among pickup artists, a supplement at best, a cop-out at worst.

It also doesn't really train your skills because once you do get a girl from online to meet up with you, she's pretty much down. She's looking for a guy, she liked your pictures, it's pretty much a done deal. Tinder lays are piss easy (if you can get the dates, which is hard for average Joe).

I don't, what did he say?

So, my diagnosis was spot on, yes? As I guessed, you have deficiencies in your normal social life. I mean I get it, I can be a loner for weeks and months and be perfectly content. But then when the itch to meet a girl stirs, it seems like an insurmountable feat!

I think of charisma as a "social muscle". Yours just HAS to be atrophied from 29 days a month alone in your room, there's no way it isn't. And in that state, you can't expect to do well on dates. Leave alone on a street stop direct opener!

So since you have a gym and fitness background, the "social muscle" concept will make sense... at the very least a muscle needs to be warmed up and stretched before it does something difficult... but really it should be grown consistently, by stressing it 3-4 times a week + recovery.

Nice!

I hope this was helpful. I went into more depth because I've been meaning to write this about 5 months ago when I first came up with the concept (summation: don't start with approaching, build a social circle, add females to it, make friends in the scene, chat up groups and lone wolves indirect, and focus on the narrow range in terms of looks).

There's more to it and I will share the rest in good time but this is a good primer. Follow the steps above and your charisma and social skills will improve. You will have a lot of friends and meet girls through your friends. You will be socially proved, confident, and more talkative. Then approaching girls becomes a lot easier too.

-Karea Ricardus.

I think this post should be pinned somewhere, because it focuses on pretty much everything a guy needs to be comfortable picking up hotties during the day. Thanks for putting it all together neatly Ricardus!

Socialization helps a bunch. I emphasized as much 3 years ago to another SS poster, Merchants-Kin.

Sadly, for guys climbing the corporate ladder and ogling for stacks, working 8 to 5 or 9 to 6, when not more, Mon-Fri, it becomes difficult to exercise, cook your own healthy food and eat it early so you can digest before going to sleep, stick to a certain timeframe for going to sleep, get your 7-8 hours in (which, if you have low sleep efficiency, means you need to be lying in bed for 9-10 hours), make an hour to go approach, and still go to socials.

Socials are great for social momentum and to make you fearless chatting with girls while keeping a laidback and positive vibe, but they require time, and they usually involve unhealthy habits such as the consumption of overpriced alcohol (this depends on where you live, but here it's armed robbery). If you become a social animal, and are in socials 5 days a week, at least for me over here, this would mean throwing all those healthful routines mentioned in the above paragraph out the window.

But I agree with Karea that socializing at least twice a week (once with a friend solo, another time in a group setting) helps keep your spirits up. I would also add that organizing successful socials (activities, house parties, hikes, etc.) that involve cool cats and hot chicks does wonders for my self-esteem as well.

 

[Spyce D]

I think this post should be pinned somewhere, because it focuses on pretty much everything a guy needs to be comfortable picking up hotties during the day. Thanks for putting it all together neatly Ricardus!

Socialization helps a bunch. I emphasized as much 3 years ago to another SS poster, Merchants-Kin.

Sadly, for guys climbing the corporate ladder and ogling for stacks, working 8 to 5 or 9 to 6, when not more, Mon-Fri, it becomes difficult to exercise, cook your own healthy food and eat it early so you can digest before going to sleep, stick to a certain timeframe for going to sleep, get your 7-8 hours in (which, if you have low sleep efficiency, means you need to be lying in bed for 9-10 hours), make an hour to go approach, and still go to socials.

Socials are great for social momentum and to make you fearless chatting with girls while keeping a laidback and positive vibe, but they require time, and they usually involve unhealthy habits such as the consumption of overpriced alcohol (this depends on where you live, but here it's armed robbery). If you become a social animal, and are in socials 5 days a week, at least for me over here, this would mean throwing all those healthful routines mentioned in the above paragraph out the window.

But I agree with Karea that socializing at least twice a week (once with a friend solo, another time in a group setting) helps keep your spirits up. I would also add that organizing successful socials (activities, house parties, hikes, etc.) that involve cool cats and hot chicks does wonders for my self-esteem as well.

Actually, I am also doing something similar so as to become more and more comfortable in pickup .

Like -

Doing indirect approaches over direct ones cuz they can be done anywhere ( atleast in my country ).

Improving logistics .

Toastmasters / English meetups .

Taking up classes which have chicks in it .

Talking to a few female friends on regular basis ( I made just recently )

Working on my career and life .

I think that will help me .

Actually , it did somewhat help me , here .

Man of action

Had a really good experience today in the field . No closes cuz I am still learning . Major sticking point is ---- Running out of things to say . Anyone ? Wanna help . you don't always need to be talking silence causes tension, rejoice in the tension... I don't talk much, and i don't run...

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