- Joined
- Jul 24, 2016
- Messages
- 2
Hey everyone,
My name is Cordereaux Hicks, and I have casually followed girls chase for maybe a year now. Starting tonight, I have decided to really get serious about approaching and making seduction a true part of my lifestyle. Now I will say upfront, I am pretty far from beginner, however I slipped into a hard bout of depression and anxiety I still am struggling with and it has taken my game back to the very beginning. Let me provide just a little background. Fair warning, the background is pretty long, so if that isn't something that interests you, my field report is at the very bottom.
I lost my virginity at the prime age of 13, to a girl named Megan, my first girlfriend ever. Obviously, as young as I was, I was instantly addicted to the game. The rush, the attention, the sex. I mean, you really cant get enough, and I was all about it. I bounce from long relationship (~1yr) to long relationship throughout middle and high school, with small breaks where I would get after the girls who very obviously liked me but wouldn't let me know till I was committed. I was one of those good guys that would never cheat on his woman if we were deemed exclusive (and still am, if she willing cheats on someone with me, I share Chase's mentality, but I digress.) Anyway I quickly ransackedmy way through my high school, getting with about 15 different girls by the time it was all said and done. I caused my fair share of drama and all that, but who cares? Its just high school right.
But shortly after high school, after Id fucked around just a little bit, I started this new job, and met this girl named Forrest. And I'll tell you guys, I became more committed to this girl than I had ever been to anything in my life. We dates for a solid 3.5 years, we talked marriage, life after college, kids, the whole 9 yards. I even went on family vacations with her family. Shit, her dad even called me son once. Anyway, I was going to college at a different school, and the distance thing was cool at first. But then I took a semester break to do some engineering work down in dallas. (I'm an aerospace engineer by trade), and we lived together for 5 months. After that, the long distance thing was too much for her, she cheated on me, and we broke up. Shit happens.
But here is the deal, I am a "gifted" individual. I graduated high school at 16 as valedictorian and college at 21 cum laude from one of the most prestigious universties in the US, Missouri S&T. I had always had an extreme amount of pressure on me to perform, and I always delivered. I was raised by a single parent, we were very poor, and I saw/experienced every kind of abuse you can imagine. I even saw my mother held at knifepoint by her boyfriend when I was 15. That is some pretty intense shit to deal with. Moral of the story is I was bread to be pretty rough and edgy, and I lived that to a T. That is, until this break-up.
So immediately after this deal with Forrest, i get a message on fb from this girl Rose, turns out she is my long lost sister on my dad's side. I get to know her and we are remarkably similar, amd make plans for me to travel to meet her. Cool right? After the plans are made though, I get a message from my birth father, for the very first time in my life. He wants to meet us, so we make it happen. Very very sketchy atmosphere as you can imagine. While we are up there he shows me proof that I had been lied to my entire life by my mom. Like I had done many, viciously illegal, sketchy ass things as a child to help support us, but apparently it was all for nothing, as my mother had been hiding a drug habit while brainwashing me and my other sister, Eboni, into believing that Chuck (my dad) was the equivalent of the antichrist. Neat right?
Now before I go on, let me just state I am not looking for any sympathy, nor am I trying to prescribe to the victim mentality. I have no need for either, I am simply trying to walk you through the steps of my life that ended up damaging my psyche the way they did.
So the semester prior to this I was president of my fraternity. I had many friends, alot of respect, and was getting plenty of attention from women in a place where women are very sparse, an engineering school is about the worst place imaginable for pick up. As soon as I was rattled by these events in my family life, the vast majority of my friends turned on me as well, sensing my weakness and looking for someone to step on as they tried desperately to climb the social ladder at our school.I went from the top to the bottom in less than a week, and it fucked me hard.
I spent a good 4 months working my way out of a clinical, suicidal depression (I was at the very fucking brink, I can remember it clear as day), and was able to come out of it. I scored this incredible job, and was set. I spent the last 2 months of college viciously abusing drugs and sleeping with all sorts of women, just pure, disgusting debauchery. But when my grades started slipping I jumped on it to make sure I didn't fail in my last semester. I became so obsessed with this I gave myself anxiety and plunged into a second depression. All of my friends bailed again, and I was down in the dumps once more.
A good friend of mine had offered us to split a place in st. Louis when we graduated to split cost of living, to which I agreed. The deal is though I am a single, 21 year old man making a six figure income that lives in the basement of tjis house with a 28 year old roommate and his wife, both of which smoke pot constantly. It makes it quite difficult to feel like an adult, and I have been battling anxiety issues ever since. Somedays I feel like every single thing I say comes off as horrific, some days I'm completely on my game. I am in the process of remedying this as we speak. Now for the field report:
To begin, I am no saint. Before tonight I have fucked in alleys, bathrooms, I have had plenty of makeouts at parties, one night stands, fuck it, I've been everywhere. I don't particularly keep track of my lay count but I'm somewhere in the upper 30s. That being said, as soon as I get my mind striaght I should be able to shoot back into intermediate-advanced territory. Here is the story of tonight:
I had set 2 goals for myself going out alone:
-Approach at least 3 girls
-Approach at least 3 groups of strangers for casual convo
First bar I went to I had a drank, casually talked to this guy and his friend about traveling, pussied out of a few very obvious approach invitations (I still have perception for that), and left angry that I had not been able to accomplish eveything there, so I went to a second bar.
At this second one, there was a cute brunette girl taking pictures with a full studio set up in the front of the bar. After grabbing a drink and watching for a bit, I approach:
Me - "So what exactly are you guys doing over here?"
Her - "we are taking some pictures! You want one?"
Me - "Sure, but you have to come with me!"
Her - (taken aback) "I don't know about that..."
Me - "Come on, it'll be fun! Your friend can snap it and we can take a pic with nemo (there was a large blowup of nemo there that you could ride like a horse, it was ridiculous)
Her - "Okay sure!"
While we take the picture I put my arm around her and pull her close, she slowly puts her hand on my back too, she seems into it
Her - "If you fill out this form right quick we can email those to you" *hands ipad over*
Me - *while filling it out* "my name is Cordereaux btw"
Her - "Allison"
Me - "So Allison, when will I see you out on the floor?"
Her- "well I dont get off till 2, so not for a while, sorry!"
Me - "That's fine, let me grab your cell right quick, if I'm not here I'll hit you up tomorrow"
Her - "Alright hold on just-'" *gets cut off by a flock ofdrunk people who surround her and ask for pics*
Her - "I'll find you!"
I leave and chill at the bar for a bit, chat with the dj about to go on, his name is brad, pretty chill guy" I drink a little more and hit the dance floor. This blonde girl gives me a few looks and I grab her had and twirl her around to me. No words are said but we dance for a minute and she starts eyeing her friend with that "please help me out" look, and her friend cockblocks like a champ.
I head outside to relax for a second and talk to this group, they are all giving one of the guys shit because he wont tell a story. I join in and he cracks and tells us this story about how he got a blow job behind a dumpster. Classic.
I go back inside and see a very attractive blonde standing at the bar
Me - "Hey, I see you looking out at the floor, why aren't you out there?"
Her - *Silence*
Me - "Come on now not even a smile?"
Her -*Glances at me with a hard rebuff, turns away*
Me - "Are you sure that's how you want to play it?"
Her - *Scoffs, walks away*
At this point its about 1:30, I come home and I type this up.
I'm dedicated to making things better for myself, and will let nothing stand in my way. All I ask of the community is to hold me accountable to getting better and beating my issues dow. So that I can prosper, and givinge advice when I hit sticking points. I will make all new posts I need to under the field reports section, as I will be using that as my journal through this journey. Thank you in advance to anyone who chooses to follow my story.
- Cordereaux
My name is Cordereaux Hicks, and I have casually followed girls chase for maybe a year now. Starting tonight, I have decided to really get serious about approaching and making seduction a true part of my lifestyle. Now I will say upfront, I am pretty far from beginner, however I slipped into a hard bout of depression and anxiety I still am struggling with and it has taken my game back to the very beginning. Let me provide just a little background. Fair warning, the background is pretty long, so if that isn't something that interests you, my field report is at the very bottom.
I lost my virginity at the prime age of 13, to a girl named Megan, my first girlfriend ever. Obviously, as young as I was, I was instantly addicted to the game. The rush, the attention, the sex. I mean, you really cant get enough, and I was all about it. I bounce from long relationship (~1yr) to long relationship throughout middle and high school, with small breaks where I would get after the girls who very obviously liked me but wouldn't let me know till I was committed. I was one of those good guys that would never cheat on his woman if we were deemed exclusive (and still am, if she willing cheats on someone with me, I share Chase's mentality, but I digress.) Anyway I quickly ransackedmy way through my high school, getting with about 15 different girls by the time it was all said and done. I caused my fair share of drama and all that, but who cares? Its just high school right.
But shortly after high school, after Id fucked around just a little bit, I started this new job, and met this girl named Forrest. And I'll tell you guys, I became more committed to this girl than I had ever been to anything in my life. We dates for a solid 3.5 years, we talked marriage, life after college, kids, the whole 9 yards. I even went on family vacations with her family. Shit, her dad even called me son once. Anyway, I was going to college at a different school, and the distance thing was cool at first. But then I took a semester break to do some engineering work down in dallas. (I'm an aerospace engineer by trade), and we lived together for 5 months. After that, the long distance thing was too much for her, she cheated on me, and we broke up. Shit happens.
But here is the deal, I am a "gifted" individual. I graduated high school at 16 as valedictorian and college at 21 cum laude from one of the most prestigious universties in the US, Missouri S&T. I had always had an extreme amount of pressure on me to perform, and I always delivered. I was raised by a single parent, we were very poor, and I saw/experienced every kind of abuse you can imagine. I even saw my mother held at knifepoint by her boyfriend when I was 15. That is some pretty intense shit to deal with. Moral of the story is I was bread to be pretty rough and edgy, and I lived that to a T. That is, until this break-up.
So immediately after this deal with Forrest, i get a message on fb from this girl Rose, turns out she is my long lost sister on my dad's side. I get to know her and we are remarkably similar, amd make plans for me to travel to meet her. Cool right? After the plans are made though, I get a message from my birth father, for the very first time in my life. He wants to meet us, so we make it happen. Very very sketchy atmosphere as you can imagine. While we are up there he shows me proof that I had been lied to my entire life by my mom. Like I had done many, viciously illegal, sketchy ass things as a child to help support us, but apparently it was all for nothing, as my mother had been hiding a drug habit while brainwashing me and my other sister, Eboni, into believing that Chuck (my dad) was the equivalent of the antichrist. Neat right?
Now before I go on, let me just state I am not looking for any sympathy, nor am I trying to prescribe to the victim mentality. I have no need for either, I am simply trying to walk you through the steps of my life that ended up damaging my psyche the way they did.
So the semester prior to this I was president of my fraternity. I had many friends, alot of respect, and was getting plenty of attention from women in a place where women are very sparse, an engineering school is about the worst place imaginable for pick up. As soon as I was rattled by these events in my family life, the vast majority of my friends turned on me as well, sensing my weakness and looking for someone to step on as they tried desperately to climb the social ladder at our school.I went from the top to the bottom in less than a week, and it fucked me hard.
I spent a good 4 months working my way out of a clinical, suicidal depression (I was at the very fucking brink, I can remember it clear as day), and was able to come out of it. I scored this incredible job, and was set. I spent the last 2 months of college viciously abusing drugs and sleeping with all sorts of women, just pure, disgusting debauchery. But when my grades started slipping I jumped on it to make sure I didn't fail in my last semester. I became so obsessed with this I gave myself anxiety and plunged into a second depression. All of my friends bailed again, and I was down in the dumps once more.
A good friend of mine had offered us to split a place in st. Louis when we graduated to split cost of living, to which I agreed. The deal is though I am a single, 21 year old man making a six figure income that lives in the basement of tjis house with a 28 year old roommate and his wife, both of which smoke pot constantly. It makes it quite difficult to feel like an adult, and I have been battling anxiety issues ever since. Somedays I feel like every single thing I say comes off as horrific, some days I'm completely on my game. I am in the process of remedying this as we speak. Now for the field report:
To begin, I am no saint. Before tonight I have fucked in alleys, bathrooms, I have had plenty of makeouts at parties, one night stands, fuck it, I've been everywhere. I don't particularly keep track of my lay count but I'm somewhere in the upper 30s. That being said, as soon as I get my mind striaght I should be able to shoot back into intermediate-advanced territory. Here is the story of tonight:
I had set 2 goals for myself going out alone:
-Approach at least 3 girls
-Approach at least 3 groups of strangers for casual convo
First bar I went to I had a drank, casually talked to this guy and his friend about traveling, pussied out of a few very obvious approach invitations (I still have perception for that), and left angry that I had not been able to accomplish eveything there, so I went to a second bar.
At this second one, there was a cute brunette girl taking pictures with a full studio set up in the front of the bar. After grabbing a drink and watching for a bit, I approach:
Me - "So what exactly are you guys doing over here?"
Her - "we are taking some pictures! You want one?"
Me - "Sure, but you have to come with me!"
Her - (taken aback) "I don't know about that..."
Me - "Come on, it'll be fun! Your friend can snap it and we can take a pic with nemo (there was a large blowup of nemo there that you could ride like a horse, it was ridiculous)
Her - "Okay sure!"
While we take the picture I put my arm around her and pull her close, she slowly puts her hand on my back too, she seems into it
Her - "If you fill out this form right quick we can email those to you" *hands ipad over*
Me - *while filling it out* "my name is Cordereaux btw"
Her - "Allison"
Me - "So Allison, when will I see you out on the floor?"
Her- "well I dont get off till 2, so not for a while, sorry!"
Me - "That's fine, let me grab your cell right quick, if I'm not here I'll hit you up tomorrow"
Her - "Alright hold on just-'" *gets cut off by a flock ofdrunk people who surround her and ask for pics*
Her - "I'll find you!"
I leave and chill at the bar for a bit, chat with the dj about to go on, his name is brad, pretty chill guy" I drink a little more and hit the dance floor. This blonde girl gives me a few looks and I grab her had and twirl her around to me. No words are said but we dance for a minute and she starts eyeing her friend with that "please help me out" look, and her friend cockblocks like a champ.
I head outside to relax for a second and talk to this group, they are all giving one of the guys shit because he wont tell a story. I join in and he cracks and tells us this story about how he got a blow job behind a dumpster. Classic.
I go back inside and see a very attractive blonde standing at the bar
Me - "Hey, I see you looking out at the floor, why aren't you out there?"
Her - *Silence*
Me - "Come on now not even a smile?"
Her -*Glances at me with a hard rebuff, turns away*
Me - "Are you sure that's how you want to play it?"
Her - *Scoffs, walks away*
At this point its about 1:30, I come home and I type this up.
I'm dedicated to making things better for myself, and will let nothing stand in my way. All I ask of the community is to hold me accountable to getting better and beating my issues dow. So that I can prosper, and givinge advice when I hit sticking points. I will make all new posts I need to under the field reports section, as I will be using that as my journal through this journey. Thank you in advance to anyone who chooses to follow my story.
- Cordereaux
