- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 996
I was walking back home after a session with @Skippy and saw this gorgeous girl carrying a bag of sweets. I stopped her asking about the bag (indirect). She ended up being talkative, and so I reciprocated back with interest. We ended up talking, and it seemed like she didn’t have anything going on, so I suggested she grab a drink with me then and there, and she was down. We headed off to a bar nearby.
On the way, we’re talking, and I tell her my job, and she calls me dorky. I ask her if she normally calls all the cute guys she meets dorky within 5 minutes of meeting them. In a kind of serious tone she says that I’m making a lot of implicit assumptions with that statement. I take that to mean I need to build more compliance before I get to teasing. So I pull back and focus on fun conversation.
We grab a seat, and she says that it’s way too fancy for how she’s dressed. I tell her it’s not a big deal and grab us some seats on the couch. She puts a bag between us, so I just leave it, and relax on the couch. Her tonality is strange. It’s like valley girl, but she seems to constantly be talking in a slightly sarcastic tone, even though she says she’s being genuine.
We chat, and most of the initial conversations are very dry, about what she does for work, and a lot of inane topics that aren’t personal to either of us. I do transition to more interesting things, such as her childhood, closeness to her family, childhood dreams, what she would do if she could do any job in the world, and embarrassing travel stories. Along the way I divulge details about myself that are more high value. She tends to respond to these in a “that’s so awesome, good for you” or “that’s so interesting” or “that’s a great fun fact”. I take these to be positive signs of attraction, though at the same time it could seem like she’s qualifying me. It’s strange because I feel like I’m not talking that much about myself, and she’s doing most of the talking.
There’s not too much sexualization. I mention the stuff about growing up in my culture and how it's very repressive, as well as mentioning a sex story about my gay friend. I do ask her about her dating life in the city, but she’s not super compliant talking about it, just giving general responses there.
I do slowly start to grow touch, mostly on her leg when I’m making positive statements. We do go a bit deep into some more serious stuff, like drama she had with her past roommates/friends, and I share similar stories on my side. I also make sure that when she talks about some of her negative traits, that I reframe them into positives, even if they are more on the funny side. I try to avoid doing this in a way that’s giving away all the power immediately, but rather in a way that I’m trying to be sincere and generous in how she perceives herself.
At some point about 2 hours in, I suggest we go back to my place. And she just freezes and tells me that’s not going to happen, and it’s weird. I ask her why not, and she says that she doesn’t know me, and that its weird, and that she’s not that kind of person. That she normally takes months before she sleeps with a person, and that she doesn’t even kiss a person until 1 or 2 dates in. This is a super strong statement on her part, so I don’t try to dig into it more. I should have. Instead I accept her frame and try to move along. She circles back to it, and in few minutes asks me if I’ve done everything with her today in the hopes of hooking up with her. I ask her if she’s offended that I asked her home, and she says no, that she’s just thrown off. I tell her I like her and find her attractive and enjoy her vibe, so yeah I’d like to take her home. At some point here, she basically yells at me to lower my fucking voice because apparently the music volume went down and I was still talking at the same volume. After this it gets awkward and she says she’s going to leave, and offers her number. I take it, and we hug goodbye.
I think part of the issues here is that I think a girls objections way too seriously. Girls are silly and cute, and it's not like inviting her home is a bad thing. This is a sticking point of my conversations with Hector, wherein it's clear I still view sex with a woman as taking something of value from her, as opposed to providing value to her. Also, I need to view this resistance as a fun challenge to overcome and work through, and accept that the resistance is part of the fun of seduction.
On the way, we’re talking, and I tell her my job, and she calls me dorky. I ask her if she normally calls all the cute guys she meets dorky within 5 minutes of meeting them. In a kind of serious tone she says that I’m making a lot of implicit assumptions with that statement. I take that to mean I need to build more compliance before I get to teasing. So I pull back and focus on fun conversation.
We grab a seat, and she says that it’s way too fancy for how she’s dressed. I tell her it’s not a big deal and grab us some seats on the couch. She puts a bag between us, so I just leave it, and relax on the couch. Her tonality is strange. It’s like valley girl, but she seems to constantly be talking in a slightly sarcastic tone, even though she says she’s being genuine.
We chat, and most of the initial conversations are very dry, about what she does for work, and a lot of inane topics that aren’t personal to either of us. I do transition to more interesting things, such as her childhood, closeness to her family, childhood dreams, what she would do if she could do any job in the world, and embarrassing travel stories. Along the way I divulge details about myself that are more high value. She tends to respond to these in a “that’s so awesome, good for you” or “that’s so interesting” or “that’s a great fun fact”. I take these to be positive signs of attraction, though at the same time it could seem like she’s qualifying me. It’s strange because I feel like I’m not talking that much about myself, and she’s doing most of the talking.
There’s not too much sexualization. I mention the stuff about growing up in my culture and how it's very repressive, as well as mentioning a sex story about my gay friend. I do ask her about her dating life in the city, but she’s not super compliant talking about it, just giving general responses there.
I do slowly start to grow touch, mostly on her leg when I’m making positive statements. We do go a bit deep into some more serious stuff, like drama she had with her past roommates/friends, and I share similar stories on my side. I also make sure that when she talks about some of her negative traits, that I reframe them into positives, even if they are more on the funny side. I try to avoid doing this in a way that’s giving away all the power immediately, but rather in a way that I’m trying to be sincere and generous in how she perceives herself.
At some point about 2 hours in, I suggest we go back to my place. And she just freezes and tells me that’s not going to happen, and it’s weird. I ask her why not, and she says that she doesn’t know me, and that its weird, and that she’s not that kind of person. That she normally takes months before she sleeps with a person, and that she doesn’t even kiss a person until 1 or 2 dates in. This is a super strong statement on her part, so I don’t try to dig into it more. I should have. Instead I accept her frame and try to move along. She circles back to it, and in few minutes asks me if I’ve done everything with her today in the hopes of hooking up with her. I ask her if she’s offended that I asked her home, and she says no, that she’s just thrown off. I tell her I like her and find her attractive and enjoy her vibe, so yeah I’d like to take her home. At some point here, she basically yells at me to lower my fucking voice because apparently the music volume went down and I was still talking at the same volume. After this it gets awkward and she says she’s going to leave, and offers her number. I take it, and we hug goodbye.
I think part of the issues here is that I think a girls objections way too seriously. Girls are silly and cute, and it's not like inviting her home is a bad thing. This is a sticking point of my conversations with Hector, wherein it's clear I still view sex with a woman as taking something of value from her, as opposed to providing value to her. Also, I need to view this resistance as a fun challenge to overcome and work through, and accept that the resistance is part of the fun of seduction.
