Talking with women/emotions are boring

[Enas]

Hey guys I have a contradictory problem. I want girls, but I find myself insanely unable to carry a conversation and extremely bored when talking to women. I never reach the hook point with girls. Maybe it's cuz I frequent clubs, but even with day game I find it difficult to get to a point where I genially care about anything she has to say. I just find most people boring. But I'm kind of a low value male cuz I live with my parents, I'm 26, college degree but I have a job that s not within my field of study (political science). THe only thing I know how to talk about is game, politics and music and love breaking things down to an analytical level, which a lot of women don't so I find it boring. I don't know how to reconcile this. I have to care about what she says, but a lot of girls observations or they're part in the conversation is either not interesting or they just don't care enough to have a real conversation. I dunno if it's ADD/ADHD (I have it and I know it's real cuz my Mom shows the exact same symptoms as I do…so please no convos about how ADD/ADHD isn't real) Or maybe I don't really enjoy talking to people unless I can connect with them(then I give a shit), which I can;t unless I slog through the bullshit which is difficult if not impossible. High value people hold my attention, but Im not a high value guy so it's incredibly frustrating to not talk to people who can't sustain my attention (And there's the value imbalance cuz i don't have much to offer the person). How do I care what girls or even normal people think…even if they are ass boring?

P.S. I also have interests in writing short stories and making music but dont pursuit it anywhere like I should.

 

[ray_zorse]

Hmm well for a start you are being a snob, you are feeling these people are beneath your notice when they probably have a lot of value, you just can't see it because you've made a hasty judgement based on incomplete information and aborted too early when persisting might have helped you discover a common interest or other commonality.

There are basically two schools of thought about standards among seducers, there are guys who resolutely won't lower their standards, they could fuck a 6 but they are approaching 8s and getting shot down in flames because they don't have the skills to fuck an 8, yet. This is all very admirable but the problem is these dudes have a real steep learning curve, they can't learn much from their early failures because everything is going wrong at once, and they aren't getting encouragement and confidence from early successes because basically all the planets have to be aligned for them to get laid and this never happens. To dudes who became successful seducers by this route (and there are a few on these boards), hats off to you. I myself am willing to fuck anything that moves, and to look for the good in everyone, and because of this attribute I progressed very quickly as a seducer and was fucking 8s in a pretty reasonable time. Mind you there are some LR that I am just too ashamed to post and I am speaking RECENTLY haha.

So, lower your standards dude. If you persist in having high standards you'll just be walking away from girls thinking "I don't like this girl, ergo my cock is not a good fit for her pussy", which is again very admirable, IF you have options! My other impression here is that you're struggling to relate to the female conversational style, go read articles about it, but it sounds like if you have a conversation with a man based on LOGIC and REASON then your attention is held, however girls do not communicate with logic and reason. Their communication style is based on EMOTIONS and RELATING. So it sounds to me as if you're dismissing what she says because you do not understand the underlying meaning and purpose behind it.

Ray

 

[Seventh_Sky]

It seems you have three obvious options... (which means more might exist if you think harder about it, but these come to my mind easily)

1) Do nothing (and probably stay unhappy).

2) Lower your standards, as per "ray zorse"'s advice. It'll probably make you unhappy.

3) Increase your value. This will make you able to attain the company of high status men and women, which you desire. It'll probably make you happier, after some time.

Option 3 does require the most work, which may then require some hard work, effort, and determination. So that's why a lot of people don't choose the blaringly obvious option.

Also, taking option 2 in the short term would give you the opportunity to look into option 3, because you'll be getting more experience. Perhaps that is what ray had in mind. It's not bad advice as long as you know it's a temporary fix to get some training. However, you did say that you find most people boring, which doesn't sound like something that can just go away. They'll definitely sense it.

Unless you can think of something better I would recommend you raise your value (see option 3). If you don't want to do that, then I have some motivational words for you:

Not choosing option 3 (or 2 and then switching to 3) is exactly what makes a person boring, now and forever.

 

[Marty]

I find it difficult to get to a point where I genially care about anything she has to say.

How do I care what girls or even normal people think…even if they are ass boring?

Okay, Enas, let me preface this by saying that I don't want to sound dismissive here... and anyone who is familiar with my posts on this forum will know that I am an empathetic character. However, what I am going to tell you may sound harsh.

What I genuinely don't understand: why are you here?

I am not trying to be nasty. It's just that based on what you have said, I actually simply cannot decipher your reason for being on this forum. The site is called "Girls Chase" for a reason. A lot of men here, myself included, think that women, though they can be frustrating and confusing at times, are a wonderful blessing and immeasurably enrich life on this planet. The only reason we bother to read the articles, post our experiences in the forum, and chat with and advise each other about these experiences, is that we want to spend more time with women, get to know them better, and enter into a sexual union with them which is the ultimate form of togetherness.

If you think that women are not interesting because they don't talk analytical, why would you even bother to post here?

Let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with not liking women. I think it's a bit sad, but it's a common enough occurrence in a certain type of man, usually those who have a passionate interest in some extremely deep and involved subject that is somewhat obscure to outsiders. I have known plenty of these men. What normally happens is that they settle down with a pushy wife (stereotypically Hong-Kong Chinese or Indian, but certain American or even British women would fit the bill just fine too) who bosses them around, manages their social life for them, manages their household for them, and generally satisfies their need for a feminine domestic touch, or companionship, or multitasking, or whatever on Earth it is that a man who doesn't much care for women needs from a wife. Then the man can get along with his real passion in peace, and the woman is happy in the knowledge that her husband will never stray, because he simply has no interest in doing so and it wouldn't even occur to him.

Like I say, nothing wrong with that at all. But here you are on a seduction forum, peopled by men who love women, telling us that you find them boring. It's like posting on a dance forum saying that you hate the jovial dance-floor atmosphere, but could you please get help with your heel pivots? Incomprehensible to me... perhaps if you could explain, we could help you

Marty

 

[Enas]

It's difficult for me to get to a place where there is genuine connection with the woman sometimes. I guess you call it reaching the hook point. I want to be romantically and sexually involved with women but many of the conversations I run into I just never seem to get to that point where we are genuinely enjoying each other, it's pretty rare. That's why I prefer analytical stuff cuz I have a better idea of what I'm talking about. Im not used to being in mutually loving relationships with women, either being friend zoned or ignored, so maybe I'm jaded. Im not trying to be difficult on purpose, this is pretty difficult for me. I don't know why I have such a hard time connecting with women. When i was just "myself" and be interested in their emotions and problems, I would be friend zoned. Maybe because I wan't sexy back then. So maybe I've had reluctance to be interested in women;s emotions cuz of the bad experiences I've had. I don't have time t be lead around into eating for girls, although i don't do that anymore.

I guess connecting and relating to people are the biggest problems I've had. Im just afraid of being vulnerable cuz I was the kid that bullied a lot and heart broken…you know the typical nice guy story (sometimes still get punked today). I've applied some of the stuff on the website because of the negative experiences that i've had (lead to a one night stand and a threesome actually) since I've discovered this site 3 year ago.

Im here cuz I don't wanna be the guy 60 years later who regrets not doing more to have had a better sex/dating life with women. But that's a hard thing to do when you don't have a lot of positive experiences with them. Ive been told I'm cute, but connecting with women is something I find difficult. Or at least connecting with women I find interesting.

Ive been told I need to get out more and start relaxing more and be more assertive, but I came here for advice on how I could do better with women. i know I'm not going to get better with women if I can't connect to them, but going old and sexless isn't really a way to live life is it? So I don't have much of a choice but to change into someone who can connect with women however the fuck I can do that?

 

[Marty]

Im here cuz I don't wanna be the guy 60 years later who regrets not doing more to have had a better sex/dating life with women.

Okay it is starting to dawn on me what you are saying. It seems like you are thinking "There must be something in this women thing, as other men seem to love them so much" although you can't quite see for yourself yet what it is precisely that they like about them.

I can relate to that as I have had that experience with other interests, although finding women interesting has always come naturally to me. But I have often wondered what it is that people see in other pursuits, not really appreciating it until I have tried it myself, sometimes repeatedly and for months or even years before I start to realize why they actually enjoy it. So you're not alone.

Let me give it some thought. A good first step might be to focus on the process (as outlined in the articles on this site). You never know, if you take pride in your own improvement at the process, seeing it simply as developing a skill for its own sake, you may find a few months in that you are suddenly enjoying what you are doing, even though you never expected to, and then you'll realize what all the fuss is about!

Can't know until you try it

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Enas,

The analytical, logical, educated conversation, is masculine communication. If you enjoy these sort of conversations, it is best to get them with a male friend.

The feminine communication is emotional, empathetic, and not necessarily logical (at least by male logic standards). Relating with a woman is a basics of seduction. She speaks, you make her feel good and comfortable, emotionally, by listening to her. It's a necessary step. If you want to be a seducer, you will need to learn it, no way around it.

True, occasionally you will find a woman who speaks in masculine communication. Girls learned to do that. But then, don't be surprised if you have trouble sleeping with her. And if you do, you will find many problems afterwards. After all, you are communicating to her as if she was a guy.

It occurs to me: Maybe your problem is that she's the one leading the conversation? If you let her lead the conversation, it may seem random, with no logical thread, purely led by her emotions (that's the way girls speak among themselves). This is indeed boring for us, guys. What I'm talking about here is, she speaks, but you lead the conversation.

Ok step by step. Make her talk. Make her explain what is her background, what is her past, what made her the woman she is. Make her explain what is her daily environment, friends, colleagues, family... Try to understand what it is to be her. What are her ambitions and motivations. What are her dreams. What are the main obstacles to make her dreams happen. Etc... Each of her answers will raise more questions on their own. Just follow the lead. Figure her out inside out.

You may find it uninteresting initially, but as you become better at it, my bet is you will get to like it. And for the girl, she will love it, for the emotional connection... And love you!

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Enas]

Hey Enas,

The analytical, logical, educated conversation, is masculine communication. If you enjoy these sort of conversations, it is best to get them with a male friend.

The feminine communication is emotional, empathetic, and not necessarily logical (at least by male logic standards). Relating with a woman is a basics of seduction. She speaks, you make her feel good and comfortable, emotionally, by listening to her. It's a necessary step. If you want to be a seducer, you will need to learn it, no way around it.

True, occasionally you will find a woman who speaks in masculine communication. Girls learned to do that. But then, don't be surprised if you have trouble sleeping with her. And if you do, you will find many problems afterwards. After all, you are communicating to her as if she was a guy.

It occurs to me: Maybe your problem is that she's the one leading the conversation? If you let her lead the conversation, it may seem random, with no logical thread, purely led by her emotions (that's the way girls speak among themselves). This is indeed boring for us, guys. What I'm talking about here is, she speaks, but you lead the conversation.

Ok step by step. Make her talk. Make her explain what is her background, what is her past, what made her the woman she is. Make her explain what is her daily environment, friends, colleagues, family... Try to understand what it is to be her. What are her ambitions and motivations. What are her dreams. What are the main obstacles to make her dreams happen. Etc... Each of her answers will raise more questions on their own. Just follow the lead. Figure her out inside out.

You may find it uninteresting initially, but as you become better at it, my bet is you will get to like it. And for the girl, she will love it, for the emotional connection... And love you!

Cheers,
Seppuku

Yea…Leading the convo is something I need to work on thanks for the tip. That and not forgetting to flirt in between.