- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
A girl I've been seeing brought attention to my texting style and it got me thinking. She mentioned that my texting was very predictable - engage, send a couple of messages back and forth and then logistics to set up the next date. The reason she was able to see this pattern is because I went out with her multiple times before sleeping with her. It took a month, she just got out of a long relationship and I had to build massive amounts of comfort with her. Almost lost her twice in the process, due to my texting aloofness which both times I saved via a phone call .
We had a long talk and she said that this was fine if we are meeting frequently, but if not seeing each other for a while that she would like more texts from me to keep the momentum up. I told her how I don't like conversational texting for the most part and so suggested seeing each other more often instead.
My texting pattern with her now goes like this:
See each other frequently: Engage, send a couple of back and forth messages, logistics. Meet. Two days later, repeat the process to set up the next one.
Not seeing each other frequently: Engage, send a couple of back and forth messages, logistics. Meet. One/two days later - send funny meme or callback about something we talked about, something that reminded me of her. Few back and forth messages. Stop communication. Two days after that, repeat the engage - back and forth, logistics sequence to set up the next meet.
My issue is, it all just seems too predictable and not really engaging. I used to have a FWB - we used to text each other all the time (first girl I slept with, years ago). It felt natural and fun. But I didn't have much else going on in my life at the time so was happily texting away during my lunch breaks, after work, sometimes during.
Now I've got hobbies, trying to learn game, as well as a bunch more going on and I can't devote the hours to conversational texting that I used to, hence why I like defaulting to just texting for logistics. It's easy. But is girl is a big texter, responds immediately. I'm always the one to end the convos even though they are enjoyable. It feels wrong.
My question is, for guys (particular ones who are seeing multiple women at any one time as well as managing businesses/a bunch of other shit) - how do you manage your time texting them all? What is your style? How do you not get sucked into long text convos (or do you allow yourself to on occasion) while also keeping the girls warm and the momentum up? I'm trying to find the trade off between fun flirty texting all the time (high momentum) vs texting for logistics (predictable and not as fun) with girls that you have been seeing for a while. And importantly I want to know if you guys add much variety (time to reply etc) to your texting. Obviously being predictable in real life is a death knell for a budding relationship, is having a predictable texting style also leading down that same path of dampening attraction (to a lesser extent)?
We had a long talk and she said that this was fine if we are meeting frequently, but if not seeing each other for a while that she would like more texts from me to keep the momentum up. I told her how I don't like conversational texting for the most part and so suggested seeing each other more often instead.
My texting pattern with her now goes like this:
See each other frequently: Engage, send a couple of back and forth messages, logistics. Meet. Two days later, repeat the process to set up the next one.
Not seeing each other frequently: Engage, send a couple of back and forth messages, logistics. Meet. One/two days later - send funny meme or callback about something we talked about, something that reminded me of her. Few back and forth messages. Stop communication. Two days after that, repeat the engage - back and forth, logistics sequence to set up the next meet.
My issue is, it all just seems too predictable and not really engaging. I used to have a FWB - we used to text each other all the time (first girl I slept with, years ago). It felt natural and fun. But I didn't have much else going on in my life at the time so was happily texting away during my lunch breaks, after work, sometimes during.
Now I've got hobbies, trying to learn game, as well as a bunch more going on and I can't devote the hours to conversational texting that I used to, hence why I like defaulting to just texting for logistics. It's easy. But is girl is a big texter, responds immediately. I'm always the one to end the convos even though they are enjoyable. It feels wrong.
My question is, for guys (particular ones who are seeing multiple women at any one time as well as managing businesses/a bunch of other shit) - how do you manage your time texting them all? What is your style? How do you not get sucked into long text convos (or do you allow yourself to on occasion) while also keeping the girls warm and the momentum up? I'm trying to find the trade off between fun flirty texting all the time (high momentum) vs texting for logistics (predictable and not as fun) with girls that you have been seeing for a while. And importantly I want to know if you guys add much variety (time to reply etc) to your texting. Obviously being predictable in real life is a death knell for a budding relationship, is having a predictable texting style also leading down that same path of dampening attraction (to a lesser extent)?
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