Texting Going Well Then No Response

[NotJamesBond]

Hey fellas. What the title says: girl from college Ive known for about a year, I was texting her about this group we go to (I couldn't make it). She went so I said "Try and not miss me too much" and she replied "I will if you try and not miss me too much! " With rosy red cheek emoticons. So I texted her 2 days later just building rapport and she replied to the first couple then stopped (I asked a couple questions, she didnt follow up).

This obviously isnt a big deal but I was wondering what a good texting cooldown period would be. I was going to not text her until Wednesday (the weekly group meetings) but I didnt feel like going when it came so I didnt text her. Ive read Chase's text articles but I wanted some more nuanced responses for my particular situation. Also, how "often" should you text? I got a little excited at the sign of early IOI's and just gave her 1 day of radio silence before I texted her again.

Thanks for any feedback.
NJB

 

[Michal]

Hello NJB,

I would say it depends on how much rapport you two have built,
what is your current dynamic with her (e.g. she seems to be more interested in you than you in her),
the overall dynamic you have built over that year (e.g. you are slightly more invested in her),
what does her life demand of her past days / weeks (maybe something bad happened and she simply has more important things to do / worry about)
Or she met a guy and they slept together so now all she thinks about is him.

From experience, when I was in situations like this, I usually set a plan like text her in 2 days later, then after next 5 days and then after like 8 or so usually it was Tuesday or Wednesday but point is, after that I felt like I should have stretched it by a day or two. But it really depends on the specifics of each situation and only you know the situation the best

 

[lostnumber]

You aren't going to build rapport via text, its too impersonal. If you're interested in this girl you need to get together with her in a 1:1 setting. Texting is really more of a maintenance and/or logistical tool. Doesnt mean the messages aren't important, and BAD messaging can sink your chances with a girl, but good messaging is not going to lead you anywhere if you dont get her alone and get your game on

Also, because you've been interacting platonically for a year now (not sure how frequently) there is a strong possibility that you are firmly in the friend zone, or at best the "potential boyfriend/provider" zone if she actually does like you

Since you are encountering this girl regularly in a group setting you really dont need to worry about her going cold or falling out of touch, so I would strongly lean towards "less texting is better."

But frankly it sounds like you are focusing on the wrong thing here. Get this girl 1:1 and see how it goes. Try to kiss her and see how it goes. She isn't going to jump in your bed because you texted her in 5 days instead of 2

 

[NotJamesBond]

Yeah I've talked very lightly with her here and there but never really one on one. We have a date Friday now.