FR The flirting grind continues

[SparklingWadah]

Goals​

I am working on adding sexual intent, making conversation less boring, and adding more flirting to my conversation to be more sexual.

1. STRONG eye contact
2. Tease girls within 30 seconds
3. Look for opportunities to get off boring conversation by shifting to a emotional topic

Per my recent Field Report I am working on writing down my conversation and teasing more.

Outing​

Today I went out to a popular shopping street shortly after work. After arriving I do a short meditation, but it does not seem to make me feel much more present.

---

Approach 1​

While walking into the venue I saw a pretty girl cross the street to my side. Not sure if it was an approach invitation, but I catch up to her and start opening, however she did not stop. I kept walking with her and delivered my opener, "I saw you walking by over there and thought you had an amazing outfit", and she reacted positively but continued walking on.

Takeaways: Maybe my voice was not authoritative enough to stop her. I complimented her outfit, and many girls appreciate this, but I wonder if she doesn't feel that I am conveying interest or if she is just not interested.

---

Approach 2​

I got in line for a coffee and noticed a pretty blonde in front of me. I notice her look around and subtly brush her hair a couple times, and I am not sure if these are approach invitations for me. I'm not sure how to open her, so I decide to do it after I order. After I open I see another girl sitting next to this girl who seems to make eye contact with me, and this throws me off and I don't approach. I walk around the nearby area, and then see the girl look in my direction and brush her hair again. After some more procrastinating I walk over and wave to her as she's sitting down.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: "Hello"
Her: "Hi"

Me: "Hi, I just saw you sitting down here and just wanted to say I loved your hair today...you had a really beautiful haircut." <I was a bit slow on coming up with a compliment, and my delivery was a bit flat>
Her: "Oh thank you."

Me: "How are you doing?"
Her: "Good, you?"

Me: "Pretty good, uh...was a little bit bored, and now a little bit more exciting. Yeah, what about you, how are are you doing?" <Tried to flirt here, but my delivery sounded like neutral conversation>
Her: "Um, good." <I forgot I just asked this question>

Me: "What was your name?"
Her: <She introduces herself>

Me: <I introduce myself>. "What are you up to right now?"
Her: "Nothing much, just wandering around."

Me: "Okay, just got off work or something?"
Her: "Yeah yeah"

Me: "Okay, are you hogging this whole area?" <Trying to tease her and sit down with her>
Her: "Am I what?" <She seems confused>

Me: "Are you taking up the whole bench?"
Her: "Um...yeah"

Me: "Do you mind if I take a seat?"
Her: "I'm actually kind of enjoying my space, so yeah." <This seems like a refusal>

Me: "Oh okay, you're a conqueror? You like to claim the land you visit?" <Teasing her here>
Her: <She agrees positively>

Me: "Okay, very cool. Well uh, hope you have a good day."
Her: "Yeah, nice to meet you. Bye!"

Takeaways: I should not have taken so long to approach. My delivery often sounded neutral and was not obviously teasing. I also did not give a very strong compliment. I leaned back but was a bit nervous about not locking in, and my legs were pretty close together, I should have kept them wider apart to be more masculine. My teases were also not very interesting, I was not very present, and I did not use the topic she gave me ("Oh cool, what do you do for work?")

---

Approach 3​

While wandering around I see a cute girl buying flowers. I post up nearby and go on my phone while keeping her in my peripheral vision. When she walks by I "notice" her and follow. I notice she's walking fairly quickly but I decide to catch up and approach anyway. I start opening her and she stops, so I continue.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: "Excuse me, hi. I just saw you walking down back over there and I wanted to say that I thought you looked incredibly cute today." <Delivery was kind of neutral>
Her: "Oh thank you so much"

Me: "Like your pants scream classy, but your shirt screams party..."
Her: "Oh, that's actually what I was going for! Yeah"

Me: "Really? Is that what you're doing right now? Going to a party"
Her: "Yeah, yeah"

Me: "On a Wednesday?" <Mock shocked tone to try to tease her>
Her: "Ahhh...why not?"

Me: "Are you a 7 days a week party all night kind of girl?"
Her: "Ah, just once in a while."

Me: "Once in a while?"
Her: "Yes"

Me: "Okay, well once in the middle of the week"
Her: "Uh...in a blue moon, I guess"

Me: "Okay, what's wrong with Saturdays?" <Still trying to tease her, but my tone didn't sound very obviously teasing>
Her: "Well, I won't be here, so..."

Me: "Oh, are you leaving for somewhere?"
Her: "Yeah" <she explains where she's going>

Me: "Okay, gotcha, sounds fun."
Her: "Thank you, I'm actually in a rush right now."

Me: "Okay, well I hope you have a great day."
Her: "Thanks you have a great day too."

Takeaways: My delivery could definitely use work, sounded too neutral on the opener and when teasing. I also missed the opportunity to jump on some conversation topics, like why she's leaving and how excited she is about the party she's going to. I actually got the feeling she was a bit flaky and was going to leave on her own shortly while talking to her, and I was right.

---

Approach 4​

I see a cute girl walking quickly down the street, and I follow her for a bit then jog to catch up. When I open, she turns and does not stop, so I quickly say, "Excuse me, hi, I just saw you back over there and wanted to say I thought you looked really pretty today." She barely acknowledges it and keeps walking on, so I let her go.

Takeaways: She was walking quickly and looking straight forward, her arms also moving straight forward. These were probably signs of disinterest indicating she was heading somewhere.

---

Approach 5​

I see a girl with an excitable dog walking around, and I follow her for a bit better catching up and opening her. However I am thrown off immediately because her dog is so energetic and is jumping all over the place, pulling on the leash. I end up just petting the dog and chatting briefly with the girl about dogs, and she says she has to go, and I don't follow.

Takeaways: I waited for awhile before approaching but I should focus on approaching immediately and not worrying too much about strategy. I also should have recognized there was a clear environmental factor (the dog) that would disrupt the flow of the approach.

---

Approach 6​

While walking down the street, I saw a cute girl with a cowboy hat walk by. I am a bit slow to turn around and follow her, so she ends up making it a fair distance away, and I approach her while she is crossing the street.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: "Excuse me"
Her: "Hi" <I notice she gives me a smile and seems receptive>

Me: "Here, let's cross the street before we get run over. I just you walking back, and I wanted to say I thought you had an incredible sense of style. I love the cowboy aesthetic."
Her: "Thank you!"

Me: "Do you happen to be from Texas?"
Her: "I'm not, I'm from around here. But I went to the art & wine festival and got it there."

Me: "Oh, that's beautiful. I saw it, I drove by and it was so huge and packed than I expected."
Her: "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it."

Me: "What's your name?"
Her: <She introduces herself> "...but I have a boyfriend, so thank you I appreciate it."

Me: "No worries, it really does look fantastic."
Her: "Wonderful, thank you, I appreciate that."

Me: "Yeah, hope you have a great day."
Her: "You too, have a nice night."

Takeaways: I delayed a little too long on approaching and had to catch up a decent distance, it would be more spontaneous and easier if I was more decisive. My delivery on the opener wasn't very strong, it could have been louder and more authoritative. I could have teased her better, saying something like "Well I hope you aren't on your way to a cowgirl job interview right now, because we really don't have enough targets for you to lasso around here" to lightly point out her outfit is unusual.

---

Approach 7​

I see a cute girl walking down towards the parking lot. She seems to be moving quickly and I get the feeling she will have a neutral or slightly closed reception, but I approach anyways. I catch up to her from the side and wave to catch her attention. However I end up turning a fair amount of my body to face her because I was directly to her side instead of slightly in front.

Spoiler: Conversation

Me: "Excuse me"
Her: "Hi?"

Me: "Hi, I just saw you walking back over there, and I wanted to say I thought you had some of the most beautiful hair that I'd seen today"
Her: "Aw, thank you! That's nice of you."

Me: "Uh, what's your name?"
Her: <She introduces herself>

Me: <I introduce myself>
Her: "Oh, nice to meet you!"

Me: "Hi, what are you eating today?" <I point to a cardboard takeout box she has in her hand>
Her: "Oh, I just had some dinner with coworkers."

Me: "Oh nice, one of the restaurants here?"
Her: "Yeah, what about you? Are you having dinner here?"

Me: "No, I just came from the farmer's market, and I went to the tailor earlier."
Her: "Oh nice, cool."

Me: "Yeah, so what did you get for leftovers today?"
Her: "Well, we were at..." <she names a high end lounge nearby>

Me: "Oh, the fancy...lounge, right?"
Her: "Yeah"

Me: "Do you eat out there all the time?"
Her: "No, my coworkers were in town, so we grabbed dinner together."

Me: "Oh okay, what kind of work do you?"
Her: "I'm in HR, what do you do?"

Me: "Okay, I'm an engineer." <I blanked on the alternative lines I was preparing for this question>
Her: "Oh nice! What company?"

Me: "...are you trying to stalk me?" <I lean back a bit suspiciously, and tease her>
Her: "No!" <Laughs> "I work at-"

Me: "Are you going to follow me home and kidnap me now?"
Her: <Laughs> "No, how long have you been an engineer?"

Me: "Uh, about 5 years now."
Her: "Nice, do you like-"

Me: "How long have you been in HR for?"
Her: "I've been doing it for like, 10 years, so. It's been like the same thing over and over again."

Me: "Okay, are you a big fan of like, psychology and people?"
Her: "Um...not really, I do the fun side of HR." <She explains a bit>

Me: <I give a quizzical look> "I'm not really familiar with that."
Her: "Really?" <She explains a bit more>

Me: "Oh, okay. It seems like you really care about people and want them to have a good time." <Sort of a qualifier, but I didn't really screen her either>
Her: "Yeah, definitely something I care about."

Me: "That's a good quality-"
Her: "But I have to head out! But it was nice to meet you!"

Me: "Oh, yeah no problem. Hope you have a great evening."
Her: "You too!"

Takeaways: I got the feeling she had to go somewhere while walking with her, and I was right. I thought she wasn't interested and let her go, but based on her voice tonality and her questions I think she might've actually been interested in me, so I should have closed instead of letting her go. I didn't screen her and I probably should've tried to close her earlier. My chase frame was good but I think I could have teased a bit earlier, after she mentioned the lounge, with something like "Oh, that's a pretty high end place isn't it? You must have expensive tastes, too much for the normal plebians on the street." in a teasing tone (since she's dressed somewhat modestly and casually, it's teasing her behavior versus appearance).

Outcome​

I need to work on my opener delivery to be more authoritative and strong.

I am having trouble teasing girls because I am in my head. If I was more present, I could notice the words they are actually saying and jump off different topics. Instead I continue thinking about what to say next and end up ignoring the opportunities she gives me for teases / conversation. However I also need to be a little in my head to come up a tease to give, so it might just take more exposure.

I have noticed a pattern of delaying approaching too long which causes me to expend more effort catching up or approaching in a less confident way after the delay. I should try using something like the 3-second rule to be more decisive.

I failed to consciously make predictions in my head before approaching today, they were all subconscious. I should make an effort to make a habit of making a prediction, relaxing my body language, and walking confidently before the approach.

I use a lot of "Okay" in my conversation, a bit too much. I should try cutting out that word unless necessary.

I overall maintained strong eye contact but I want to keep paying some attention to it to lock in the habit.

 

[Stark]

Great work pushing through your comfort zone, and getting the reps in.

I kept walking with her and delivered my opener, "I saw you walking by over there and thought you had an amazing outfit",

Imagine she dropped her purse, and didn’t notice. You wanted to help her out, stride alongside her, and Say ‘Hi’ while being positive, yet firm. (Cred: Hector)

You need to get her attention first, let her absorb your positive, confident, sexual energy & deliver your opener slowly ….


After the opener, keep talking. Don’t worry about teasing her yet. The more relaxed you are you’ll observe something to make a joke or get her to laugh.

You got this.

 

[gameboy]

Did you see there's a Journals section in the forum? Might be more appropriate to open a journal there than doing a separate field report every day.

Otherwise... welcome to the grind

 

[SparklingWadah]

Great work pushing through your comfort zone, and getting the reps in.


Imagine she dropped her purse, and didn’t notice. You wanted to help her out, stride alongside her, and Say ‘Hi’ while being positive, yet firm. (Cred: Hector)

You need to get her attention first, let her absorb your positive, confident, sexual energy & deliver your opener slowly ….


After the opener, keep talking. Don’t worry about teasing her yet. The more relaxed you are you’ll observe something to make a joke or get her to laugh.

You got this.

I'll try this out, I think my approach is fairly similar already except I could be more decisive when walking up next to her.

 

[SparklingWadah]

Did you see there's a Journals section in the forum? Might be more appropriate to open a journal there than doing a separate field report every day.

Otherwise... welcome to the grind

Oh I saw the journals, but I only planned to write field reports so I kept posting here. Might be nice to keep a collection of my reports though.