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This will be a LONG thread. And for reasons you're about to find out.
In this thread, my goal was to give a future perspective as to where the seduction/manospher/pick up community is headed. More and more guys will look more for relationships than pick up. In the last 4 years, I've seen more guys in my social circle fall into relationships more than ever. This shift creates an opportunity, not just in marketing and coaching but in how guys see relationships.
The thing with relationships is that it is EXTREMELY nuanced and time consuming. This thread is to give guys a heads up on what to expect. These are from my experiences, those of guys around me, and from GC. If you've been in relationships 4 years and above, your opinions will be highly valued. (@POB @Skills ). If you havent but you have something interesting to say then by all means do so.
Before i get into some of the nuances, let's look at possible reasons why many guys are falling into relationships
WHY ARE MORE GUYS GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS
Many reasons can be attributed to this. But I've boiled things down to three things: 1) Guys getting older and wanting to leave the pick up lifestyle. Pretty self explanatory. As guys get older, the urge to calm things down a bit increases. 2) Guys wanting to be around women they actually like. Most guys have a type. And are more eager to have FBs, GFs & Wives that fit into their preferred archetype and taste. I've had many guys complain how they can't stand being around girls they don't like even if they're fucking them. 3) Guys unknowingly falling for Gf frames. Lots of guys are unaware how girls set frames very early and in subtle ways that positions the vibe towards relationships. This article by @Chase is a good primer into this. And then this by Drexel scott
NUANCES! NUANCES!!
This will be an extensive list on various pitfalls, situations, obstacles etc many men face in relationships. Some will simply be me asking questions on them as a way to draw attention. While others will be me giving commentary and offering my perspective.
>>>>> The 2 Year Drop
When it comes to relationships, very few concepts are as accurate as this. Chase wrote about it here. In summary, the 2 year drop is a concept that feelings and emotions tend to fade within two years. And it came as no surprise when ALL but one of the relationships in my social circle end ed within 2 years. In fact, this is so common, it should be talked about more. Most guys are completely clueless and will often blame a host of things as to why these things happen
So my question, what are your best ways to maintain that spark and mitigate the 2 year drop. And what are the biggest reasons that cause the 2 year drop to happen(from a more nuanced and practical perspective)
>>>>>> Jealousy Games 1 (When you are both out together)
By far the biggest nuanced challenges men face in relationships is around jealousy. When guys meet me for advice jealousy is a recurring issue. This first type is when you guys are both out together. She's either talking with an uber driver, talking with a waiter. Let's say she runs into an old male friend or even an ex.' Or even guys trying hit on her or flirt with her. Take note, this girl is ALREADY your main girl.
How do you respond? Act unaffected at all times? Or call it out? I was watching a red pill video where the guy shared an experience with his gf. They were having dinner and she was checking out a guy. He then told her "You can go join him if you want'' Do you agree with an approach like that or would you handle things differently.
Also, do these jealousy games ever stop? My belief is that they don't. But I read an article on Gc that talked about how you can remove jealousy games from your woman. But I reckon if she's hot, these games never stop. Maybe they reduce but never truly go away. what do you think?
>>>>>> Jealousy Games 2 (When She's Out by herself)
If you date a hot woman, guaranteed guys will hit on her when you're not around. This particular scenario came from his now ex. During their relationship, she went for a wedding. And of course, guys were flirting and talking with her. Of course, she's not a fool and knows what's up. She told him about her experience (probably in a bid to make him jealous too) and while she was talking he was waiting for the moment she told those guys "I have a boyfriend" That moment never came. She didnt tell them. And he got offended and made a big deal out of it.
She then proceeded to defend herself saying she was talking to them to learn new things and the whole bf thing might scare them of.
So my question, what is acceptable behaviour for when you're not present. Should she give out numbers? Is her not mentioning her bf an issue? MANY guys i've talked to see giving out numbers, entertaining guys especially without mentioning she has a bf as unacceptable. What are your thoughts
>>>>>> Influence OF friends & Family
How big of an influence is family and friends? and how would you handle situations where her friends are clearly bad for her and the relationship. For example, she having friends that are huge party girls or serial cheaters. Or she having friends that give her bad advice or probably dont like you
>>>>>> Giving Money To Your Woman
What's your take on giving your woman an agreed amount of money every month. Either as a housewife or workwife
>>>>>> Life Goals
How do you handle changes in life goals either from your end or hers
>>>>>Behavioral shaping
What frames and behaviours do you shape or create to make a woman more devoted/loyal. And HOW do you typically do this
>>>>> When she says "No sex"
Top 3 complaint i get from my married friends: 'my wife has changed. We barely have sex any more" How would you handle a situation where your girl or wife denies sex. and what do you think are the main causes of this.
>>>> Living Together
What are your best advice/tips for couples living together? potential issues? etc
>>>> Her Boss Vs You
Your girl or wife used to stay at home. But now she has a career and wants to start work. How do you handle situations where what you want her to do goes against what her boss wants. Say for example, you want her early by 4 and the boss wants her to work a bit late to meet certain quotas. How do you maintain your stance? or are their instances where it's okay for her to do what the boss says.
Another variation, how do you handle issues of sexual advances from your girl's superiors. Either when she brings them up to you or when you notice them. Also, if she never brings them up to you but you happen to find out, do you hold it against her as a fault
>>>>> Single Girl Behaviour
In this great article @Karea Ricardus D. talks about single girl behaviours girls might do while in a relationship. One of which is having really close guy friends, sleeping over at a guy's house. i Have seen SO MANY guys with these issues. Now, we'll assume nothing happened. But these are just some of the few i've seen:
gf goes out with a male friend then sleeps in his house but a different room. gf surrounds herself with guy friends and goes out with them. gf goes out partying etc
How do you get her to stop behaviours like these and other variations. Also how do you handle her pushbacks like: "nothing will happen. you're being insecure" OR "I've known these guys before you. I can't just cut them off"
Another thing, at what point/stage in the relationship is it right to get her to limit or completely cut off male friendships or other single girl behaviours
>>>>> Her Ex Reaching Out
One of my friends is in talking stages with a new girl. She told him her ex that left her reached out to her and wants to get back. He's apologizing and letting her know that he's changed.
In his previous relationship, he told his gf to block him and she made excuses for the ex. Now, i told him that he should tell he wont force her or tell what to do as they're both adults but he should also subtly let her know he doesnt take girls seriously that keep in contact with their exes. What do you think about it? And how do you respond when she attempts to manipulate you when you havent reached out in a while: "You're using what i told you about my ex to avoid me"
How would you handle such situations.
>>>>> Ignorance or Malice??
In this movie scene, Sonny's advice is funny and eye opening. Basically he tells a kid about a door test: If you open the door for a woman to get in and she doesn't reach over to your door and lift up the button so you can get in then you dump her cause she's selfish.
In today's world different men and cultures have their own versions of the door test. Certain things they just look and observe to know if a girl is a candidate for a LTR. However i've noticed a lot of young girls are socially akward & inexperienced. I've had girls search for things like: How do you know a guy likes you OR "what does it mean when he says this
So my question is, in a situation she fails your own version of a door test how do you decided it's simply her being ignorant or she's actually a walking red flag
>>>>> Speed of sex
One of by biggest motivations for fast sex was that in one of Chase oldest articles he mentioned that a girl fucking you fast (first date, SDL) most times meant she really liked you and would mean your relationship would be better.
However, in recent years, he changed his stance on that. To him, he has seen good relationships even when the sex didnt happen fast. Because of this, fast sex while still important isnt such a big factor as he initially thought
what are your thoughts?
>>>>>Contact her every day??
How often is required to call or text an LTR
>>>>> Ï need space
when you hear this either in a relationship, what caused this and how would you typically respond
So yeah, these are few nuanced situations ive noticed come up in various relationships. Thanks for reading this far
In this thread, my goal was to give a future perspective as to where the seduction/manospher/pick up community is headed. More and more guys will look more for relationships than pick up. In the last 4 years, I've seen more guys in my social circle fall into relationships more than ever. This shift creates an opportunity, not just in marketing and coaching but in how guys see relationships.
The thing with relationships is that it is EXTREMELY nuanced and time consuming. This thread is to give guys a heads up on what to expect. These are from my experiences, those of guys around me, and from GC. If you've been in relationships 4 years and above, your opinions will be highly valued. (@POB @Skills ). If you havent but you have something interesting to say then by all means do so.
Before i get into some of the nuances, let's look at possible reasons why many guys are falling into relationships
WHY ARE MORE GUYS GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS
Many reasons can be attributed to this. But I've boiled things down to three things: 1) Guys getting older and wanting to leave the pick up lifestyle. Pretty self explanatory. As guys get older, the urge to calm things down a bit increases. 2) Guys wanting to be around women they actually like. Most guys have a type. And are more eager to have FBs, GFs & Wives that fit into their preferred archetype and taste. I've had many guys complain how they can't stand being around girls they don't like even if they're fucking them. 3) Guys unknowingly falling for Gf frames. Lots of guys are unaware how girls set frames very early and in subtle ways that positions the vibe towards relationships. This article by @Chase is a good primer into this. And then this by Drexel scott
NUANCES! NUANCES!!
This will be an extensive list on various pitfalls, situations, obstacles etc many men face in relationships. Some will simply be me asking questions on them as a way to draw attention. While others will be me giving commentary and offering my perspective.
>>>>> The 2 Year Drop
When it comes to relationships, very few concepts are as accurate as this. Chase wrote about it here. In summary, the 2 year drop is a concept that feelings and emotions tend to fade within two years. And it came as no surprise when ALL but one of the relationships in my social circle end ed within 2 years. In fact, this is so common, it should be talked about more. Most guys are completely clueless and will often blame a host of things as to why these things happen
So my question, what are your best ways to maintain that spark and mitigate the 2 year drop. And what are the biggest reasons that cause the 2 year drop to happen(from a more nuanced and practical perspective)
>>>>>> Jealousy Games 1 (When you are both out together)
By far the biggest nuanced challenges men face in relationships is around jealousy. When guys meet me for advice jealousy is a recurring issue. This first type is when you guys are both out together. She's either talking with an uber driver, talking with a waiter. Let's say she runs into an old male friend or even an ex.' Or even guys trying hit on her or flirt with her. Take note, this girl is ALREADY your main girl.
How do you respond? Act unaffected at all times? Or call it out? I was watching a red pill video where the guy shared an experience with his gf. They were having dinner and she was checking out a guy. He then told her "You can go join him if you want'' Do you agree with an approach like that or would you handle things differently.
Also, do these jealousy games ever stop? My belief is that they don't. But I read an article on Gc that talked about how you can remove jealousy games from your woman. But I reckon if she's hot, these games never stop. Maybe they reduce but never truly go away. what do you think?
>>>>>> Jealousy Games 2 (When She's Out by herself)
If you date a hot woman, guaranteed guys will hit on her when you're not around. This particular scenario came from his now ex. During their relationship, she went for a wedding. And of course, guys were flirting and talking with her. Of course, she's not a fool and knows what's up. She told him about her experience (probably in a bid to make him jealous too) and while she was talking he was waiting for the moment she told those guys "I have a boyfriend" That moment never came. She didnt tell them. And he got offended and made a big deal out of it.
She then proceeded to defend herself saying she was talking to them to learn new things and the whole bf thing might scare them of.
So my question, what is acceptable behaviour for when you're not present. Should she give out numbers? Is her not mentioning her bf an issue? MANY guys i've talked to see giving out numbers, entertaining guys especially without mentioning she has a bf as unacceptable. What are your thoughts
>>>>>> Influence OF friends & Family
How big of an influence is family and friends? and how would you handle situations where her friends are clearly bad for her and the relationship. For example, she having friends that are huge party girls or serial cheaters. Or she having friends that give her bad advice or probably dont like you
>>>>>> Giving Money To Your Woman
What's your take on giving your woman an agreed amount of money every month. Either as a housewife or workwife
>>>>>> Life Goals
How do you handle changes in life goals either from your end or hers
>>>>>Behavioral shaping
What frames and behaviours do you shape or create to make a woman more devoted/loyal. And HOW do you typically do this
>>>>> When she says "No sex"
Top 3 complaint i get from my married friends: 'my wife has changed. We barely have sex any more" How would you handle a situation where your girl or wife denies sex. and what do you think are the main causes of this.
>>>> Living Together
What are your best advice/tips for couples living together? potential issues? etc
>>>> Her Boss Vs You
Your girl or wife used to stay at home. But now she has a career and wants to start work. How do you handle situations where what you want her to do goes against what her boss wants. Say for example, you want her early by 4 and the boss wants her to work a bit late to meet certain quotas. How do you maintain your stance? or are their instances where it's okay for her to do what the boss says.
Another variation, how do you handle issues of sexual advances from your girl's superiors. Either when she brings them up to you or when you notice them. Also, if she never brings them up to you but you happen to find out, do you hold it against her as a fault
>>>>> Single Girl Behaviour
In this great article @Karea Ricardus D. talks about single girl behaviours girls might do while in a relationship. One of which is having really close guy friends, sleeping over at a guy's house. i Have seen SO MANY guys with these issues. Now, we'll assume nothing happened. But these are just some of the few i've seen:
gf goes out with a male friend then sleeps in his house but a different room. gf surrounds herself with guy friends and goes out with them. gf goes out partying etc
How do you get her to stop behaviours like these and other variations. Also how do you handle her pushbacks like: "nothing will happen. you're being insecure" OR "I've known these guys before you. I can't just cut them off"
Another thing, at what point/stage in the relationship is it right to get her to limit or completely cut off male friendships or other single girl behaviours
>>>>> Her Ex Reaching Out
One of my friends is in talking stages with a new girl. She told him her ex that left her reached out to her and wants to get back. He's apologizing and letting her know that he's changed.
In his previous relationship, he told his gf to block him and she made excuses for the ex. Now, i told him that he should tell he wont force her or tell what to do as they're both adults but he should also subtly let her know he doesnt take girls seriously that keep in contact with their exes. What do you think about it? And how do you respond when she attempts to manipulate you when you havent reached out in a while: "You're using what i told you about my ex to avoid me"
How would you handle such situations.
>>>>> Ignorance or Malice??
In this movie scene, Sonny's advice is funny and eye opening. Basically he tells a kid about a door test: If you open the door for a woman to get in and she doesn't reach over to your door and lift up the button so you can get in then you dump her cause she's selfish.
In today's world different men and cultures have their own versions of the door test. Certain things they just look and observe to know if a girl is a candidate for a LTR. However i've noticed a lot of young girls are socially akward & inexperienced. I've had girls search for things like: How do you know a guy likes you OR "what does it mean when he says this
So my question is, in a situation she fails your own version of a door test how do you decided it's simply her being ignorant or she's actually a walking red flag
>>>>> Speed of sex
One of by biggest motivations for fast sex was that in one of Chase oldest articles he mentioned that a girl fucking you fast (first date, SDL) most times meant she really liked you and would mean your relationship would be better.
However, in recent years, he changed his stance on that. To him, he has seen good relationships even when the sex didnt happen fast. Because of this, fast sex while still important isnt such a big factor as he initially thought
what are your thoughts?
>>>>>Contact her every day??
How often is required to call or text an LTR
>>>>> Ï need space
when you hear this either in a relationship, what caused this and how would you typically respond
So yeah, these are few nuanced situations ive noticed come up in various relationships. Thanks for reading this far
