- Joined
- Dec 7, 2012
- Messages
- 234
As much as most mainstream dating advice may try to say that "looks don't matter" when it comes to a person's dating life, and that they should try to find somebody that will accept them for "who they are," I can say with conviction that this is false advice, and that it should not be expected that either gender would completely disregard appearance as part of attraction. I say this out of experience. I have spent most of my life being fat, walking and standing with poor posture, bad fashion sense, and zero confidence. Back in freshman year in high school, I first made the conscious decision to change and stuck with it. I did cardio for hours on end and ate with a massive caloric deficit, (which by the way, I now do not recommend,) I started reading this blog, and started updating my new look piece by piece. Then, after 16 years of getting my cheeks pinched by older relatives because they were "chubby and cute," being largely ignored by the opposite sex, and never being taken seriously when I was talking to attractive girls, my life began to change rapidly. The older relatives that were making chubby cute jokes and pinching my cheeks at 15 years old were now commenting in awe at how much more masculine I looked within the following year. Girls that were once ignoring me were suddenly working for my attention, and the girls that laughed off my flirting with them as cute now felt the pressure of making sure I was impressed. Mainstream advice likes to harp upon the lack of importance of looking attractive, but even without the greater access to respect and authority it will give you, great fundamentals will ultimately give you a confident edge in your personality that is very difficult to attain when you dislike the way you look. If I were to choose the three most important pieces of a person's fundamentals, it would be body shape, good posture, and slow EVERYTHING.
A good looking body will not only cause clothes to look better on you and make you look great, it also gives you tons more energy and confidence than can be matched by anything else, especially when you earn it through hard work. Losing weight and building up a muscular look is probably the best investment into appearance that anybody can make, not to mention health and mood benefits. By experience, I've noticed that the easiest way to maintain a good figure is to eat whole foods, avoid sugar and processed foods, stay clear away from chemicals in food including hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners, and high fructose corn syrup, not avoiding fat (both saturated and unsaturated) like the plague, not following government nutritional advice that stems from the food pyramid, getting into a good workout routine of mostly weights and no more than half an hour of cardio (I do ten minutes a day as a warm-up) and drinking water as the only beverage. Nutrition is almost as controversial as religion or politics, so I encourage anybody reading this to do their own research any choosing their own plan. The bottom line is that crash dieting for short term gains never works. I tried at least a dozen times before I found a permanent plan. The trick is to think of it as a lifestyle choice.
Posture is also incredibly important to your fundamentals. Make sure your knees align with your ankles, your hips align with your knees, your shoulders aligned with your hips, and your ears aligned with your shoulders. Upon standing, your back should be straight, your chin parallel to the floor, and your chest should be out. If you spent a lot of time building up your chest like I have, your shoulders may naturally fold forward, turning your thumbs toward each other. If that happens, pull your shoulders forward until your thumbs point forward like they should be ideally, and you will soon get used to that position.
Finally, slow EVERYTHING down. Your talking, walking, mannerisms, EVERYTHING. Everything should be done in a smooth and relaxed fashion as if you own time itself.
While I am still getting used to being complimented by women for my clothes, body, and even my posture, and still trying to figure out how to respond besides "thank you," I would never trade the progress that I have made in these past few years for anything. There was a girl that turned me down and called me fat boy in front of all my friends when I asked her out in middle school, but if I ever meet her again, I would thank her, because if it weren't for that, I would have never made the progress that I have.
A good looking body will not only cause clothes to look better on you and make you look great, it also gives you tons more energy and confidence than can be matched by anything else, especially when you earn it through hard work. Losing weight and building up a muscular look is probably the best investment into appearance that anybody can make, not to mention health and mood benefits. By experience, I've noticed that the easiest way to maintain a good figure is to eat whole foods, avoid sugar and processed foods, stay clear away from chemicals in food including hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners, and high fructose corn syrup, not avoiding fat (both saturated and unsaturated) like the plague, not following government nutritional advice that stems from the food pyramid, getting into a good workout routine of mostly weights and no more than half an hour of cardio (I do ten minutes a day as a warm-up) and drinking water as the only beverage. Nutrition is almost as controversial as religion or politics, so I encourage anybody reading this to do their own research any choosing their own plan. The bottom line is that crash dieting for short term gains never works. I tried at least a dozen times before I found a permanent plan. The trick is to think of it as a lifestyle choice.
Posture is also incredibly important to your fundamentals. Make sure your knees align with your ankles, your hips align with your knees, your shoulders aligned with your hips, and your ears aligned with your shoulders. Upon standing, your back should be straight, your chin parallel to the floor, and your chest should be out. If you spent a lot of time building up your chest like I have, your shoulders may naturally fold forward, turning your thumbs toward each other. If that happens, pull your shoulders forward until your thumbs point forward like they should be ideally, and you will soon get used to that position.
Finally, slow EVERYTHING down. Your talking, walking, mannerisms, EVERYTHING. Everything should be done in a smooth and relaxed fashion as if you own time itself.
While I am still getting used to being complimented by women for my clothes, body, and even my posture, and still trying to figure out how to respond besides "thank you," I would never trade the progress that I have made in these past few years for anything. There was a girl that turned me down and called me fat boy in front of all my friends when I asked her out in middle school, but if I ever meet her again, I would thank her, because if it weren't for that, I would have never made the progress that I have.
