The importance of men and women FEARING YOU

[Elusive]

We've all heard Machiavellis statement on the importance of fear.
But its only just today that it really struck a chord with me.


Anytime Ive had Women fall heads over heels for me or submit to me - its been those times when I was an unknown quantity and something to be slightly feared
Anytime Ive had fantastic leadership over men - exactly the same - an unknown quantity who was feared

Im black, well built, bald, with a beard with a rough upbringing.

Since going to a well ranked university filled with the upper class ive been working on becoming more 'attainable', more fitting in with the crowd im with, to great success I must say, but lately especially with the last few girls, I think Ive gone a little over the top with this and this quote is definitely gonna get me back on track.


I havent seen this mentioned on GC yet - maybe there is a reason?
Anyway thought Id share im sure some will benefit

Remember just a LIL bit of fear
No going over the top...

 

[Howell]

We've all heard Machiavellis statement on the importance of fear.
But its only just today that it really struck a chord with me.


Anytime Ive had Women fall heads over heels for me or submit to me - its been those times when I was an unknown quantity and something to be slightly feared
Anytime Ive had fantastic leadership over men - exactly the same - an unknown quantity who was feared

Im black, well built, bald, with a beard with a rough upbringing.

Since going to a well ranked university filled with the upper class ive been working on becoming more 'attainable', more fitting in with the crowd im with, to great success I must say, but lately especially with the last few girls, I think Ive gone a little over the top with this and this quote is definitely gonna get me back on track.


I havent seen this mentioned on GC yet - maybe there is a reason?
Anyway thought Id share im sure some will benefit

Remember just a LIL bit of fear
No going over the top...

Afraid you'll leave them can be fine, as a byproduct of her enjoying your company so much. Afraid you'll hurt them is NOT. The subject you're really trying to talk about is "being edgy".

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... turn-women

Only a weak man would want to make a woman afraid of him (yes, even "just a little") for the sake of seduction.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

It's not so much that they should fear you WILL hurt them, but that you COULD. It's a very fine distinction.

For illustration, I'm gonna stereotype a bit.

The safest and most attractive place for a woman is under the arm of a big, muscled, grizzled, and caring man who could at any moment slaughter a room full of people to protect her. Whether that slaughter is social (humiliation, domination, etc) or physical (their viscera dangling from his bloody fingertips), the potential needs to be there.

Of course, that safest place is also the most dangerous place - if you're in the cage with a lion, it might just eat you if you piss it off. That's the "edge" or "fear" that you're both hinting at. The potential that you could hurt her.

And unless you're a sociopath or she's coming at you with a knife, you won't actually hurt her. Lovers of women, that's the point of all of this. A man who loves women is loved by women. Any motivation outside of pleasing women will leave you bitter and lost in this journey.

As luck would have it, the greatest pleasure for a woman is a dangerous yet caring man. He would burn the world to protect her, and all that poetic shit.

I've had several women tell me that I'm intimidating, scary, etc and then I fuck their brains out like the animal I am and they can't get enough of it. A woman who is around you should, if you're doing it right, consider the possibility that you will bend her over at any moment (respectfully, of course).

Shit, I once told a dude that I was going to rip him to pieces, drink his blood, cook his fucking organs, and feast upon his carcass as I hung up his skin like some postmodern excuse for art. And I did this in front of about 14 people. The bitch-boy who, just moments ago threatened me, sat there is utter horror and refused to fight me. The two women who had just hours ago agreed to have a threesome with me (which that bitch-boy then ruined) were obviously horrified with me. One of them tried to step in when I was threatening the dude and I just looked at her and said "sit the fuck down, cunt." She listened.

Then, after he refused to fight me, I left and somehow ran into a girl I'd slept with a few weeks back. Don't remember how (I think she was outside the house?), but I told her the story, every fucking detail, no shame at all.

After we walked back to my house, I fucked her goddamned brains out. She chased me HARD for a relationship afterwards.

I would never hurt her and I would never have hurt those two girls, but I very well would have left that dude bloody and whining if he'd been a man and backed up his words. Why? Because I love women and hitting a woman wouldn't solve shit, when I could just talk to her. They're predominantly social beings. Men, on the other hand, learn very well from physical confrontation and it saves a lot of unnecessary talking. I'm all for rational discourse, but there are times when it's useless and physical escalation reveals the truth (the gods choose the winner and all that).

I've also told this story to several women I've slept with, both before and after we've slept together. They'd usually say something like "you're crazy" or give me a skeptical look, and then we'd go right back to flirting, now with a little more flair.

So no, a woman shouldn't be scared that you might hurt her, but it's very attractive if she's slightly intimidated by what you COULD do.

Nuance, baby, nuance.

Elusive, use that roughness you've developed. All those hoity toity upper class white bitches are craving some hard dick, especially with all those bitch boy orbiters they got hounding them. Be cordial and articulate for the most part, but if they start acting bitchy or condescending, give 'em the stink face, put your hand on their mouth and say "shh, be quiet, bitch." They'll LOVE it. Most of the time when I put my hand on girl's mouths they start giggling or, my favorite, start licking my hand.

As for an article on this subject, it's in the works. Part of my "Becoming The Beast" series.

Hector

 

[Howell]

It's not so much that they should fear you WILL hurt them, but that you COULD. It's a very fine distinction.

For illustration, I'm gonna stereotype a bit.

The safest and most attractive place for a woman is under the arm of a big, muscled, grizzled, and caring man who could at any moment slaughter a room full of people to protect her. Whether that slaughter is social (humiliation, domination, etc) or physical (their viscera dangling from his bloody fingertips), the potential needs to be there.

Of course, that safest place is also the most dangerous place - if you're in the cage with a lion, it might just eat you if you piss it off. That's the "edge" or "fear" that you're both hinting at. The potential that you could hurt her.

And unless you're a sociopath or she's coming at you with a knife, you won't actually hurt her. Lovers of women, that's the point of all of this. A man who loves women is loved by women. Any motivation outside of pleasing women will leave you bitter and lost in this journey.

As luck would have it, the greatest pleasure for a woman is a dangerous yet caring man. He would burn the world to protect her, and all that poetic shit.

I've had several women tell me that I'm intimidating, scary, etc and then I fuck their brains out like the animal I am and they can't get enough of it. A woman who is around you should, if you're doing it right, consider the possibility that you will bend her over at any moment (respectfully, of course).

Shit, I once told a dude that I was going to rip him to pieces, drink his blood, cook his fucking organs, and feast upon his carcass as I hung up his skin like some postmodern excuse for art. And I did this in front of about 14 people. The bitch-boy who, just moments ago threatened me, sat there is utter horror and refused to fight me. The two women who had just hours ago agreed to have a threesome with me (which that bitch-boy then ruined) were obviously horrified with me. One of them tried to step in when I was threatening the dude and I just looked at her and said "sit the fuck down, cunt." She listened.

Then, after he refused to fight me, I left and somehow ran into a girl I'd slept with a few weeks back. Don't remember how (I think she was outside the house?), but I told her the story, every fucking detail, no shame at all.

After we walked back to my house, I fucked her goddamned brains out. She chased me HARD for a relationship afterwards.

I would never hurt her and I would never have hurt those two girls, but I very well would have left that dude bloody and whining if he'd been a man and backed up his words. Why? Because I love women and hitting a woman wouldn't solve shit, when I could just talk to her. They're predominantly social beings. Men, on the other hand, learn very well from physical confrontation and it saves a lot of unnecessary talking. I'm all for rational discourse, but there are times when it's useless and physical escalation reveals the truth (the gods choose the winner and all that).

I've also told this story to several women I've slept with, both before and after we've slept together. They'd usually say something like "you're crazy" or give me a skeptical look, and then we'd go right back to flirting, now with a little more flair.

So no, a woman shouldn't be scared that you might hurt her, but it's very attractive if she's slightly intimidated by what you COULD do.

Nuance, baby, nuance.

Elusive, use that roughness you've developed. All those hoity toity upper class white bitches are craving some hard dick, especially with all those bitch boy orbiters they got hounding them. Be cordial and articulate for the most part, but if they start acting bitchy or condescending, give 'em the stink face, put your hand on their mouth and say "shh, be quiet, bitch." They'll LOVE it. Most of the time when I put my hand on girl's mouths they start giggling or, my favorite, start licking my hand.

As for an article on this subject, it's in the works. Part of my "Becoming The Beast" series.

Hector

Just because a girl knows you COULD hurt them, doesn't mean you want them to be AFRAID that you will. The fine distinction isn't between could and will, but between "I'm afraid" and "He is POWERFUL". Now, power can of course be frightening at times, but the important distinction is that to frighten is not the goal. This is the same problematic attitude that underlies guys thinking negging is an appropriate tactic to use in seduction (e.g. putting your finger in front of a girls mouth and saying "Shh, be quiet, bitch." Even though it might work (usually for other reasons, not because of what you said), with beginners (or really anyone, IMO) you should not encourage this kind of behavior -- you are going to be misunderstood -- I guarantee it. Instead, talk about "curious indifference".

https://www.girlschase.com/content/tacti ... ng-pua-neg

Focusing on encouraging negative emotions or tearing down the girls value is almost always inappropriate, not to mention tactically inferior to curious indifference and building people up.

The girl should know you don't take shit and are strong and will stand up for what you believe, NOT that there's a real chance that you would (or even just "could") hurt them.

I know you're probably just trying to state the obvious fact that attractive men are in some ways dangerous/edgy, but OP was implying using fear tactically, thus why a firmer position is necessary here.

 

[Eternity]

(e.g. putting your finger in front of a girls mouth and saying "Shh, be quiet, bitch." Even though it might work (usually for other reasons, not because of what you said), with beginners (or really anyone, IMO) you should not encourage this kind of behavior -- you are going to be misunderstood -- I guarantee it. Instead, talk about "curious indifference".

Focusing on encouraging negative emotions or tearing down the girls value is almost always inappropriate, not to mention tactically inferior to curious indifference and building people up

Just a way to keep an entitled bitch in line. I don't know about you but when a princess is giving me attitude, I'ma tell her to shut the fuck up or give her a cold look to shut her up.Build her up when she's helping you build you and every one in the group up, but when her and her posse want to treat you as beneath them... Time to to get drastic. Indifference is good for subtle,teasing/ball busting comments on her part but got to draw the line somewhere.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Howell,

I don't think OP is as nuanced or careful about his wording as we are, so that's why I expanded on what I interpreted as his intention (and I'm sure he'll make his case more clear once he sees our discussion). You did the same thing, but we came to different conclusions. I do not think he has any harmful intentions with women. I have met men who I think are a danger to women and can spot them instantly. OP is not one of those men. And pretty much everything on Girls Chase could be incorrectly interpreted by some fuck-twad. I give my advice, even the most polarizing shades of it, with the knowledge that true lovers of women will not misinterpret my advice, and the men out there who would actually hurt women would do so anyways, whether they read some politically-incorrect statement of mine or not.

This is the same problematic attitude that underlies guys thinking negging is an appropriate tactic to use in seduction (e.g. putting your finger in front of a girls mouth and saying "Shh, be quiet, bitch." Even though it might work (usually for other reasons, not because of what you said), with beginners (or really anyone, IMO) you should not encourage this kind of behavior -- you are going to be misunderstood -- I guarantee it. Instead, talk about "curious indifference".

The problem with the negging, for most guys, is timing and non-verbals. If you walk up to a woman and start cutting her ego to pieces with no prior reason, it might work, it might; unless you took a time to read her from afar, insulting her is just a hail-mary attempt to garner interest. The result depends on your frame, her evaluation of you (is he hot enough to be saying this to me?), and her mood. Funnily enough, most auto-rejections from negging isn't because her ego got hurt, but because she sees RIGHT through the act, "who's this loser trying to act tough by insulting me?" Negging wasn't invented by PUAs. Men have been doing it forever and they start from a young age (e.g., pushing girls in the sandbox or stealing something of hers and running away with it). They just gave it a name. Girls allow it to work when it's a guy doing it at the right time and with the right non-verbals, and when it's not delivered correctly, it doesn't work. The best negger in the history of ever is Tucker Max and, well, go read his books and tell me what you think of negging. Or this or this.

Curious indifference works when the girls is locked in and engaged or when you're just opening. But if you're in a social circle situation and you have a girl acting hoity because tons of men are hounding after her, curious indifference isn't going to hook her. She probably won't even give you the time of day. You need a nuke. That's where being a dick comes to the rescue. Or if the situation is just luke-warm, being a dick (or anything polarizing) is a sure-fire way to take the interaction from "he's cute" to "k I'm dripping."

Furthermore, curious indifference is an attitude. You can be curiously indifferent and still put your hand to a girls' mouth and say "shh, quiet bitch." Roll your eyes, turn your body away, gently put your hand on your mouth, gently push her face (gently, gently, gently, gently - hopefully enough to not be misunderstood), and say it, and they laugh to yourself. A half second later turn back to her, cock your hide and smile, maybe even wink.

You only need to do this once or twice in a conversation and the message is clear.

Negging and curious indifference are not mutually exclusive; one is an attitude, the other is a technique. Chase's thesis was to shift men's attitudes and the techniques follow suit.

Focusing on encouraging negative emotions or tearing down the girls value is almost always inappropriate, not to mention tactically inferior to curious indifference and building people up.

The girl should know you don't take shit and are strong and will stand up for what you believe, NOT that there's a real chance that you would (or even just "could") hurt them.

Optimally, sure. But real life doesn't always line up like an equation. You might get into a conversation with a girl, trip up, and now she's testing you hard because she's unsure of your value. Being a dick for a moment or two to regain ground is often super helpful. As for negative emotions being inappropriate - dude, I have tons of field data that says the opposite.

Since our recent conversations prove that I tend to rub you the wrong way as a person, let me preface this question by saying that while I am making some assumptions about your skill level based on this discussion, I'm actually not sure what your experience is; I've never seen or read a LR from you, so forgive my ignorance or any presumptions this question may raise.

Where's your experience? Where's your data to back up your statements? We can go back and forth all day with abstractions about attraction, but if there's no substance to your side except for quoting Chase, it's just keyboard jockeying.

A smooth escalation that's nothing but cheerios and romance from start to finish is optimal, but it's not always possible and not a lot of guys can pull it off. Before they can get to that point, guys need to learn how to be dicks and enjoy the fuck-fest that is the jerk-phase. Sounds like OP is curving through it right now and drawing from his rough upbringing and benefiting from the polarization he gets from asshole behavior amongst all the pussy boys he's undoubtedly surrounded with at a top level university. What he's going to learn is insane frame control and the ability to give girls shit if they're acting up. Telling a guy the most efficient style with women is like giving a white belt a blackbelt and saying "hey, be a blackbelt." You gotta get that white belt dirty as fuck and you'll have a blackbelt in the process. The only exceptions to this process are guys who have been getting mad pussy since they were in their early teens, but even then, they have the potential to be assholes, so they must have cultivated that skill sometime early on. A few months back I was in a bar with a good friend of mine who's the sickest natural i've ever met and some girl kept walking around with this super stuck-up look on her face and completely blew me off when I opened her. I laughed at her and pointed her out to my friend. She walked by him and he turned slightly and said "what's your problem, why are you acting like that?" She got this super surprised look on her face and just latched onto him "huh, what? No I'm not being like that! I'm sorry, I'm here with my boyfriend, blabllbla" while she's holding on to him. I laughed my ass off, because I've seen hundreds of times from a first person perspective.

So, to wrap-up, I see your point Howell, but it's a bit too idealistic. OP is correct in stating that a tinge of fear is helpful to attraction and I think our debate right now is how we interpreted his short and vague thesis.

Hector

 

[Bboy100]

but if they start acting bitchy or condescending, give 'em the stink face, put your hand on their mouth and say "shh, be quiet, bitch." They'll LOVE it. Most of the time when I put my hand on girl's mouths they start giggling or, my favorite, start licking my hand.

Hey Hector,

I know being a dick to women is a big part of your style of game. There have been a lot of instances where I wanted to call a women out on her shit exactly like what you mentioned above. But I usually don't. Not because I'm a pussy who's afraid of confrontation, but rather because I always feel like if I call a girl a bitch or otherwise insult her, I'll just come off as bitter/butthurt. Or that I otherwise let her get to me and now I'm getting upset or emotional.

What's the difference between a pussy guy who's going into auto-rejection and a guy who's calling a girl out on her shit?

 

[Franco]

I can help a bit here with the distinction.

The only thing a woman should fear about you physically is that you'll walk out the door (and never come back) and/or stick your penis in another woman.

The only thing a woman should fear about you emotionally is that you'll no longer give her your love and attention and instead give it to another woman (or women).

"Fear" in general is a strong word, though. That's why we use words like "insecure" to prevent the negative connotation that is usually associated with the word "fear." Giving women some sense of insecurity about you is good, but as you would expect, giving them too much insecurity can lead to problems.

- Franco

 

[Elusive]

Love the no. of responses this has gotten and the discussion it got going.
But WHOA - Thank you for stepping in there Anatman / Hector
Let me just say - no one should be worried - it was more me being careless about my choice of words

Others here have managed to say better exactly what I wanted to say - Thanks

Looking forward to your article series on this Hector - loved your ones on being sexually filthy - I thought I knew all about being dirty.. you taught me

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Hey Hector,

I know being a dick to women is a big part of your style of game. There have been a lot of instances where I wanted to call a women out on her shit exactly like what you mentioned above. But I usually don't. Not because I'm a pussy who's afraid of confrontation, but rather because I always feel like if I call a girl a bitch or otherwise insult her, I'll just come off as bitter/butthurt. Or that I otherwise let her get to me and now I'm getting upset or emotional.

What's the difference between a pussy guy who's going into auto-rejection and a guy who's calling a girl out on her shit?

It changes with time. When you first start being rude/mean to women, it is coming from a place of insecurity, but so is everything about seduction at an early stage. Shit, insecurity is still what drives me (and until you hit Absolute Abundance and are launched into space to freely orbit in the eternal land of women, it will be there). So anyone who says they come from a place of pure security who isn't also able to get dream-quality women regularly I think is not being totally honest. When you're doing this, women real read you coming from a place of insecurity (but still might sleep with you!). It's okay, it's just like any beginning part of mastery - grind through it.

But as you get more experience, you start doing it because you consciously know she wants to have fun, she wants a guy she needs to work for. I think once you get here, her read of you coming from a place of predominant insecurity is unlikely or neglible (though still possible).

The highest place of teasing/asshole behavior, I think, is when you do it

1. Just to have fun and you're bored with the interaction

2. It's not really going anywhere and you might as well try a hail-mary, because why not?

3. A line of respect has been crossed and you need to demonstrate that it's not okay. It's best to just avoid getting here in the first place, but it happens and acting disgusted/rude as an immediate response will get her anxious/paranoid that she's losing you and you'll see girls turn around SUPER fast. I've had girls tease me a bit too hard without any context and I just give her a stink face like "wtf?" and completely brush her off, then have her come running after me "I'm sorry!!!!" It's not even game, it's just "well this isn't fun anymore, bye."

I can help a bit here with the distinction.

Yes, Franco, I love this! I think it ties nicely into what we've been discussing. Again, a woman feels safest with an entity who is also most dangerous to her - a dangerous man. Him walking away provides a very real fear of "I no longer have his protection."

Love the no. of responses this has gotten and the discussion it got going.
But WHOA - Thank you for stepping in there Anatman / Hector
Let me just say - no one should be worried - it was more me being careless about my choice of words

Others here have managed to say better exactly what I wanted to say - Thanks

Looking forward to your article series on this Hector - loved your ones on being sexually filthy - I thought I knew all about being dirty.. you taught me

You're welcome, man! I saw your intentions from a mile-away. I have a tendency to either over-explain myself or to be really direct without any qualification. When I do the latter, people become confused/offended with my words. When I take the former approach, I bore the fuck out of people. Middle road is something we should both work on here haha.

I'm glad you enjoyed the filthy sex series. There will actually be a "Fucking Like A Beast" article in this new series. You'll really like that one. Me being Latino and you being Black definitely gives us an "animalistic" edge that turns on women. At first it seems a bit racist/objectifying, but if you really think about it, we're always objectifying each other and racial associations are inevitable; it's just the way dualistic universes work. Distinction/hierarchy/marginalization is part of the deal. There's a good side to it and a bad side. Sometimes people think my name is "Jose" or just throw any other super-latin name my way and it used to irk me, but then I also get the added deal of being a bit taboo with interracial sex. And as you read in my articles, taboo is sexy. I'm okay with people sometimes thinking I speak Spanish (I actually speak better Japanese than I do Spanish) or making other racist assumptions about me, because then I get to say shit like "how's your pussy white boy boyfriend treating you?" or "I'm gonna stretch out that tight little white pussy of yours" and it drives girls crazy. My ex used to call my penis "spic-dick." Being a black guy, your polarization is even harder and more taboo. So you get more extreme animalistic/racist assumptions, but you also get more taboo-points, too. Girls will say racist shit in bed or see you as a someone more primal than a white guy, which can certainly be insulting and demeaning as fuck, as some of my black friends have pointed out. But other guys, they revel in it. They'll accept the marginalized behavior because they get just as many (if not more) instances of girls going after them simply because they are black. Not sure if you've seen Donald Glover's standup Weirdo, but he has one joke where some girl says "fuck me with that nigger-dick." At first he acts as though he's about to be offended, and then says "I came harder than I ever have before..." Pretty funny shit. If it's a choice between being offended at racism or taking advantage of it, I'm for the latter.

And that article will definitely bring up the "fear" topic we've discussed here. Though since it'll be up on the main site, I need to be very thorough and clear with my explanation.

Hector

 

[lux7]

Shit, I once told a dude that I was going to rip him to pieces, drink his blood, cook his fucking organs, and feast upon his carcass as I hung up his skin like some postmodern excuse for art. And I did this in front of about 14 people. The bitch-boy who, just moments ago threatened me, sat there is utter horror and refused to fight me. The two women who had just hours ago agreed to have a threesome with me (which that bitch-boy then ruined) were obviously horrified with me. One of them tried to step in when I was threatening the dude and I just looked at her and said "sit the fuck down, cunt." She listened.

Then, after he refused to fight me, I left and somehow ran into a girl I'd slept with a few weeks back. Don't remember how (I think she was outside the house?), but I told her the story, every fucking detail, no shame at all.


Hector

Man, it doesn't sound like the "potential physical threat" there or display of raw violence helped you a lot to be honest.

Girls you're already intimate with whom you told the story barely count and the two you were eyeing disappeared..

Not saying it might not be useful at times, but certainly was not there..

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Man, it doesn't sound like the "potential physical threat" there or display of raw violence helped you a lot to be honest.

Girls you're already intimate with whom you told the story barely count and the two you were eyeing disappeared..

Not saying it might not be useful at times, but certainly was not there..

Hahahahaha, come on, man, you gotta be smarter than that.

I say "having a girl be SLIGHTLY physically intimidated by you is attractive, because it means she'll be safe with you." Aight, cool.


Afterwards, I give a scenario where two girls, who previously agreed to a threesome, then saw me go Hannibal Lecter on a guy and they didn't want to fuck me anymore. You respond,

"Well look like it didn't work in this scenario!"

Well fucking duh. Think about what variables you're missing.

You think two girls are going to see me threaten to EAT THEIR FRIEND, the one who drove them to town, they've known for years, and is tied to their social circles back home, and then JUMP ON MY COCK?

That's like me telling you dressing in a suit is attractive to women, so you put on a suit, walk up to a girl in a bar and say "yo sup bitch, wanna suck my DICK and eat my shit?" as you spit on your hands and jerk yourself under your jeans in front of her.

You come back and tell me "SEE, DRESSING NICE DOESN'T WORK."

See? Missing variables. If you'd run your normal game but now with a suit, there's a good chance it goes very differently. It's called experimental procedure. Look at the independent and dependent variables.

What was important in my scenario was the sentence you forgot to quote

"Then, after he refused to fight me, I left and somehow ran into a girl I'd slept with a few weeks back. Don't remember how (I think she was outside the house?), but I told her the story, every fucking detail, no shame at all.

After we walked back to my house, I fucked her goddamned brains out. She chased me HARD for a relationship afterwards. "


I told a girl that I just got done threatening to kill, skin, and eat a man, and she still fucked me...

THAT was the important part.

Hector

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Something I'm learning right now is how to "neg" in a rship.

First off...I never neg to pull. I'm totally nice and only say mean shit from a place of total honesty. Sometimes girls love it sometimes they don't. I'm trying now to manipulate emotions in rship w a girl who knows me backwards and forwards. She responds so positively to me being mad or upset, and I want to use that. There's nothing dirty or sexual I can say to her At this point in our rship. How can I convey power wo being mad? It seems otherwise she won't really submit? She always will when I'm mad, but I HATE being mad or salty about anything as I'm generally chill af.

I find a bit of power Ina slightly serious and unexpected neg. something like "yeah babe it's kind of like your political stance" to something totally rediculous lol it turns her on, but I'm scared it will breed long term resentment. Also it's very hard to show power in this way without also seeming passive aggressive which I do not want At all. The political comment might not be the best example but I hope you get what I mean. What to you guys think?

Radeng

Radeng,

Mind if I write an article about this? "How to Tease a Girl You're Dating."

Hector

 

[lux7]

...

Nothing personal Hector, just point out there was no example or proof of "(slight) threat of violence" being helpful there.

(raw) threat of violence, which is worth noticing is not nearly as bad as real violence anyway, was purely counterproductive.

And the girl you had already had sex with coming with you for a second dip who heard the story, I don't feel that counts at all, as once you're intimate it's a complete different dynamic and, one might argue, we're barely in the seduction realm anymore.

edit:
BTW, I'm not an expert on the topic, and as far as I know it might even be helpful on occasions, quite possibly actually. But I haven't seen a real life example and not even read any good example backing the case for a woman scared of you or your (slight) threat of violence.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Nothing personal Hector, just point out there was no example or proof of "(slight) threat of violence" being helpful there.

(raw) threat of violence, which is worth noticing is not nearly as bad as real violence anyway, was purely counterproductive.

And the girl you had already had sex with coming with you for a second dip who heard the story, I don't feel that counts at all, as once you're intimate it's a complete different dynamic and, one might argue, we're barely in the seduction realm anymore.

Well, when it comes to a girl's attraction, there's tons of factors, so me telling a girl about doing something like this and her sleeping with me doesn't necessarily demonstrate that telling her boosted attraction, but you can say that for anything in a lay that doesn't garner an immediate sign of attraction.

And sure, if you want to eliminate a girl I've already fucked as fair play, totally fine - I've told numerous girls about this experience. One girl in particular heard about me starting ANOTHER fight with a guy, he apparently bitched to her at a party about me punking him out, then she brought it up to me and for good measure, I told her about the Hannibal Lecter shit. We hadn't yet fucked but did a few weeks later. Now, if someone wants to say "you got laid in SPITE of that; it didn't help," sure, you can say what you want, but I know women fairly well and it seems to be a thing where the girl rolls her eyes or goes "well that's kinda weird," but on a primal level she thinks "he's not afraid to escalate to violence; he'll stand up for himself and defend me if it comes to it." Like I said, it isn't that you're threatening her with violence, but that because you are a potential threat to EVERYONE, you are thereby a threat to her. Because that's how math works

For all X, If X > P (population), then X > P-(-P) (total population minus not population) or something like that. Fuck, it's been a while since I've done set theory. Not even sure if that makes sense. I probably look mathematically retarded, but point is, if you're dangerous to errybody, you're dangerous to her. You're not directly threatening her or anything fucking crazy like that (well, when the girl stepped up to me when i was about to fight her friend, I had to tell her to buzz off). It's more about your ability to DEFEND her. Tender defender and all that.

I mean, fuck, it happens by default all the time. You see a girl with a 6'7" monster muscly dude. Yeah, he's a threat to everyone around him, including her. It's not even a threat of violence, it's the potential of it. And she's damn turned on by his height/dominance/strength.

I don't take it personally. I love when people disagree with me; forces me to further develop my ideas, but if I'm still being misunderstood by now, then lol.

Practically this isn't even something you should go out of your way to apply. I'm not in any way recommending that guys start shit with other guys just to impress girls. When I've seen that happen, it just makes a guy look insecure (e.g., when I hit on girls with boyfriends next to them and the guys give me dirty looks or give my friends dirty looks - he looks like a bitch). The point is, be a dangerous man. That's just Bad Boy 101.

Yeah, maybe that's what I've been trying to say the whole time - Bad Boy. And yes, I've shown/demonstrated/told girls my dangerous side before sleeping with them (e.g., telling them about fights I've been in, guys I've punked out, crazy shit I've done) and it seems to be attractive. I can't prove it to you, but I can say that after I've told girls about shit like this, they reacted positively or if they rolled their eyes at it, well, girls roll their eyes at a lot of stuff I do/say and then sleep with me. Eccentricity, baby.

Hector

 

[lux7]

LOL yeah ok got your point.

If you're dangerous, then you're dangerous to everyone, sure.

If you have a lion as a pet since he was a pup, he'll likely love you all the times.
Maybe 100% of his lifetime.
Hopefully, because if it were to be only 99.8% of the times, well, you know how that can go .

The conversation moved a bit from its initial post, and the consensus seem to be: threatening in the sense that you're strong and can protect her, great, threatening in the sense that you're a (somewhat) immediate threat to her, not the way to go (thought I'm pretty confident some subset of women would get turned on by that as well, thought it might not end up in sex and safe rational mind might overcome the sexual instinctive one).
And violence is better left as a pure last resort.

Well, when it comes to a girl's attraction, there's tons of factors, so me telling a girl about doing something like this and her sleeping with me doesn't necessarily demonstrate that telling her boosted attraction, but you can say that for anything in a lay that doesn't garner an immediate sign of attraction.

Agree, you can't always go around "asking/looking for proofs", sometimes it's just next to impossible to find definite proof and the feelings you get from it and/or the hunch you have about it coming from experience is all it takes.

when I hit on girls with boyfriends next to them and the guys give me dirty looks or give my friends dirty looks - he looks like a bitch

Interesting, how'd you go about if you were on the receiving end (sorry for the bad quotation formatting, can't go crazy to make it nice .

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

The conversation moved a bit from its initial post, and the consensus seem to be: threatening in the sense that you're strong and can protect her, great, threatening in the sense that you're a (somewhat) immediate threat to her, not the way to go (thought I'm pretty confident some subset of women would get turned on by that as well, thought it might not end up in sex and safe rational mind might overcome the sexual instinctive one).
And violence is better left as a pure last resort.

Yes yes. The caveat there is an interesting one to discuss, but it's too "dark-side of seduction" to discuss publicly. Too much room for misinterpretation.

Interesting, how'd you go about if you were on the receiving end (sorry for the bad quotation formatting, can't go crazy to make it nice .

No worries!

If a guy hit on my girl while I was out with her?

Act like it's nothing. Just smile and stare off. Or even look at her and wink and go "ooooh, look at you." Unless she starts reciprocating hardcore, there's no reason to worry. And if she is reciprocating with heavy touch, the real problem started days, months, or years ago. You're probably pass the point of no return in terms of her respect for you.

If guys ever think that after a few months of dating a girl that she doesn't think about other men, flirt with other men, or sometimes fantasize about other men, they are hopelessly delusional. You are not superman and you are not a seduction god. Girlfriends of my buddies flirt with me pretty regularly, even if these guys are studs. When the guys aren't around they'll even give me pretty thirsty looks or say things that he probably wouldn't want to hear (and if she really doesn't respect him, will say it in his vicinity); it's just how it goes. Women are always keeping their options open and women don't think of morality in the same way that men do. I would only ever tell my buddy if she made a serious pass at me or escalated on me, because, like I said, girls being girls.

And if she ever does cheat on your or choose another man, there's NOTHING you can do except walk away. She wants to be with someone else? Perfect, good for her! Wish her all the best. Imma go travel and get another girlfriend(s).

You get mad? You lose.

You get jealous? You lose.

You get insecure/needy? You lose.

You laugh it off, accept it, and move on? You win.

Hector

 

[lux7]

Yeah, we've already had some previews on the misinterpretations .

Like the "non reactive" stance, and probably even more the "look at you how much attention you garner there " stance

 

[pks391]

Can anyone tell me how can a guy who is not physically strong instill fear in other guys? I have noticed that these guys tend to get more respect and less "challenges" from other guys.....Is such a thing possible? Because i heard somewhere that such kind of men do not get policed or corrected by others.

 

[Eternity]

Can anyone tell me how can a guy who is not physically strong instill fear in other guys? I have noticed that these guys tend to get more respect and less "challenges" from other guys.....Is such a thing possible? Because i heard somewhere that such kind of men do not get policed or corrected by others.

Depends. These guys usually have a rep that other men know about and tread carefully around them. Usually are gangbangers, drug dealers, ex cons, crazy/do crazy things ect. Real Dark Triad motherfuckers, so it's natural a weaker or less violent men won't challenge these guys and either fear/respect them than they would other "beta" guys. But they all got a weakness under the mask of coolness. They also have to serve someone, there's always someone better than you in the world. So even they have to tread carefully with other men at some point in their lives.

Another thing could be that they exude the bad boy allure through their actions/fundamentals. Or the way their eyes pierce through you without flinching. These guys have been through the fire per say, and are not afraid to throw down and go to the mat with other challenging males. They usually have a serious, pissed off demeanor that makes weaker men back off and intimidate/intrigue women. They can be smaller and not physically strong as the other dudes but shit the way they look at you tells you you're messing with the wrong guy...