The importance of men and women FEARING YOU

[pks391]

Can anyone tell me how can a guy who is not physically strong instill fear in other guys? I have noticed that these guys tend to get more respect and less "challenges" from other guys.....Is such a thing possible? Because i heard somewhere that such kind of men do not get policed or corrected by others.

Depends. These guys usually have a rep that other men know about and tread carefully around them. Usually are gangbangers, drug dealers, ex cons, crazy/do crazy things ect. Real Dark Triad motherfuckers, so it's natural a weaker or less violent men won't challenge these guys and either fear/respect them than they would other "beta" guys. But they all got a weakness under the mask of coolness. They also have to serve someone, there's always someone better than you in the world. So even they have to tread carefully with other men at some point in their lives.

Another thing could be that they exude the bad boy allure through their actions/fundamentals. Or the way their eyes pierce through you without flinching. These guys have been through the fire per say, and are not afraid to throw down and go to the mat with other challenging males. They usually have a serious, pissed off demeanor that makes weaker men back off and intimidate/intrigue women. They can be smaller and not physically strong as the other dudes but shit the way they look at you tells you you're messing with the wrong guy...

So then what would a physically weaker man have to do to gain this sort of an aura around him?

 

[Eternity]

Hang with these guys at school or work. Have a father, uncle, cousin who embodies dark triad traits. Break rules (within reason) every now and then. Take martial art classes and get your ass beat in the mat to get that fire burning inside you. Work the warehouses/factories where most of the alpha bad boys end up from high school and get schooled in the ways of hard work and how men with edge and grit handle life and other people in general.

Takes a certain type of upbringing to get this edge/grit. It cannot be faked, these people will see through it and respect you even less for being a try hard. Even Chase struggled with this when he worked with guys like these at his tire shop job.

 

[pks391]

Hang with these guys at school or work. Have a father, uncle, cousin who embodies dark triad traits. Break rules (within reason) every now and then. Take martial art classes and get your ass beat in the mat to get that fire burning inside you. Work the warehouses/factories where most of the alpha bad boys end up from high school and get schooled in the ways of hard work and how men with edge and grit handle life and other people in general.

Takes a certain type of upbringing to get this edge/grit. It cannot be faked, these people will see through it and respect you even less for being a try hard. Even Chase struggled with this when he worked with guys like these at his tire shop job.

Okay so this too, requires some long term effort. Thanks Eternity, i thought that even a thin guy like me can turn intimidating. However, my precedent is set as a weak one and the only way to change that would be to focus on my long term goals.

 

[OldSelf]

I'll never forget what some dude told me at a bar once, I went home and thought about it for a good length of time and tried to discern whether or not it had any validity.

"When you stop fearing being feared, you will be the edgiest (He said scariest) guy around."

I don't think it's something that you radiate consciously; any attempt at that can be smelled by the strong. It's like Thor's hammer "he who wields this hammer..." yada-yada.

You need to KNOW that if shit popped off, you will start snapping motherfuckers in half. I have sociopathic tendencies, but I chose to do some serious fucking work on myself and channeled it towards people who were being a nuisance or actually hurting other people physically. Girls tell me that they "love my protector side, that I'm a lion waiting to pounce on things, that they can see the fire in my eyes." I don't project fire in my eyes, I am fire in my eyes.

I believe everything is related and has some minor truth (except for some minor just banana-crazy ideas), being the god of war of the zodiac, fearless-no-stopping-till-someone-dies fighting has always been pumping through my veins - now it's more controlled, though.

I recommend some boxing or muay-thai, it hurts, but it's a toughness-building kind of hurt. Shit, hockey will do the trick. Also, it's not about being a bully, it's about knowing you can destroy the bully, the nuisance, the burglar, the pesky fly of a person that passive-aggressively fucks with everyone >

Literally, live on!

ST

 

[OldSelf]

I can help a bit here with the distinction.

The only thing a woman should fear about you physically is that you'll walk out the door (and never come back) and/or stick your penis in another woman.

The only thing a woman should fear about you emotionally is that you'll no longer give her your love and attention and instead give it to another woman (or women).

"Fear" in general is a strong word, though. That's why we use words like "insecure" to prevent the negative connotation that is usually associated with the word "fear." Giving women some sense of insecurity about you is good, but as you would expect, giving them too much insecurity can lead to problems.

- Franco

What would you tell a guy who garners too much insecurity in women?

 

[Franco]

SilverTongue,

What would you tell a guy who garners too much insecurity in women?

That depends... is he asking me how to help him make women feel more secure? =)

- Franco

 

[OldSelf]

Precisely that, yeah

ST

 

[Franco]

ST,

Haha, well, that's definitely a question that can't be answered in one sentence. There are many things a guy can do (or not do) to add or subtract security from a woman while seeing her. It's a very delicate balance to maintain, and generally naturals have a better feel for this balance than a guy who has done a lot of pick-up but has not spent a lot of time dating or being in relationships with women.

I think the best advice I could give is: monitor what you are going to say to women before you say it. This is very difficult to do in person until you learn to develop more "twitch" reactions to what they say or do, but as a beginner, you're better off taking a little longer to respond to something a woman says to give your brain some time to process what responses will rock the boat (for good or for bad).

This is most easily practiced over texting. When a woman texts you, read her text thoroughly and think about your response before you actually respond. Try to empathize and put yourself in her shoes (i.e. "if I say this, how will she feel about it?" or "I know she hates this, so I should probably avoid putting this in my response"). Re-read your text a few times before you hit the "Send" key to be sure it's something you'd actually be okay with her seeing. Remember, women tend to find all the "flaws" in everything you do, so the key is to not leave any cracks in your texts that can be misread as a flaw. Be direct and concise with your texts, but avoid saying things that you know will make her feel insecure.

This is something that is definitely tough to teach. Instead, I recommend observing other couples and watch how girlfriends will react to the things that boyfriends say to them -- do they seem more secure or less secure? Does the guy seem to balance his security well in a way that she's still "chasing" him, but she doesn't feel like she's going to lose him necessarily?

Sometimes observation is your best learning tool in these situations. It's a tool I use quite frequently. =)

- Franco

 

[OldSelf]

Franco,

Opened up your post and was swamped so I decided to put it off till I could absorb it all.

Ok, so it's ties back to: references/exp, thinking before you act, simplicity, and observing those better than you

Thanks for the detailed response,

ST