- Joined
- Jan 28, 2013
- Messages
- 35
A couple weeks ago, I read Chase's post on How to Compliment a Girl Like You've Known Her for Years, and it got me thinking.
For beginners, it can be really tough to muster up the strength to give a truly genuine compliment. For example, let's say you're talking to a girl you've just met, and she's wearing a sexy pair of glasses with her hair up in a bun (this is actually an example from my outing last night), kinda like a "schoolgirl." Now, of course you're probably thinking to yourself, "Wow! Those glasses with her hair up like that make her look so sexy!" And that's as far as you get...thinking it in your head. This is probably because you're too scared she'll think you're creepy/horny if you told her what you're thinking and/or she might get embarrassed. Am I right?
Well, Chase dives way more into detail than I need to go here, so check out his post for sure. But I would like to expand just a bit more on what he wrote. Like Chase, I believe that giving truly genuine compliments is somewhat of an art that takes practicing, much like many things in pick-up. The more you practice, the less of a big deal it becomes to you; the less of a big deal it becomes for you, the less you over think it; and the less over-thinking you do, the less you psyche yourself out and actually get done what you know you need to get done. And the best part is, you can literally practice giving great compliments ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, and to ANYONE! Just be sure to use Chase's outlined techniques when practicing with your friends, family, co-workers, bartenders/waiters, etc, and before you know it, giving genuine compliments will seem much more natural and will become part of your skill set daily.
Looking back at the example above, had you been giving genuine compliments for a while, your thought in your head would have gone a little more something like this: "With contacts being so popular, you don't see many girls wearing glasses these days. And it's truly a shame, but then again, not many could pull them off quite as eloquently as you; not to mention how well they complement your hairstyle tonight, wow." See how much less creepy that sounds? And you're much more likely to tell her something like this because of the fact that you're less scared she might find it creepy.
Here's one more example, also from my outing last night. There was an acoustic trio playing at the pub I was at last night with a very unique style, but very enjoyable. So when the singer made his rounds to the bar to thank everyone for coming out, most people just replied with, "Yeah, no problem. Ya'll were great!" But when he got to me, and said thanks for coming out, I responded with something like, "It's always nice to hear a new sound. Ya'll have quite a unique style to yourselves. I really enjoyed listening to ya'll, great set." And guess what? He stuck around to chat for a while. Just because I gave him something more than just a cookie-cutter answer. Starting to see how complimenting everyone has it's advantages?
So in conclusion, once you've trained yourself to think about people in this way - more positive, descriptive and less cookie-cutter - you'll find that people will enjoy being around you much more. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having someone around dishing out compliments on the regular?
So get to practicing TODAY! Make it a priority to give at least 5 compliments per day. You'll thank yourself later.
~ Cheers
For beginners, it can be really tough to muster up the strength to give a truly genuine compliment. For example, let's say you're talking to a girl you've just met, and she's wearing a sexy pair of glasses with her hair up in a bun (this is actually an example from my outing last night), kinda like a "schoolgirl." Now, of course you're probably thinking to yourself, "Wow! Those glasses with her hair up like that make her look so sexy!" And that's as far as you get...thinking it in your head. This is probably because you're too scared she'll think you're creepy/horny if you told her what you're thinking and/or she might get embarrassed. Am I right?
Well, Chase dives way more into detail than I need to go here, so check out his post for sure. But I would like to expand just a bit more on what he wrote. Like Chase, I believe that giving truly genuine compliments is somewhat of an art that takes practicing, much like many things in pick-up. The more you practice, the less of a big deal it becomes to you; the less of a big deal it becomes for you, the less you over think it; and the less over-thinking you do, the less you psyche yourself out and actually get done what you know you need to get done. And the best part is, you can literally practice giving great compliments ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, and to ANYONE! Just be sure to use Chase's outlined techniques when practicing with your friends, family, co-workers, bartenders/waiters, etc, and before you know it, giving genuine compliments will seem much more natural and will become part of your skill set daily.
Looking back at the example above, had you been giving genuine compliments for a while, your thought in your head would have gone a little more something like this: "With contacts being so popular, you don't see many girls wearing glasses these days. And it's truly a shame, but then again, not many could pull them off quite as eloquently as you; not to mention how well they complement your hairstyle tonight, wow." See how much less creepy that sounds? And you're much more likely to tell her something like this because of the fact that you're less scared she might find it creepy.
Here's one more example, also from my outing last night. There was an acoustic trio playing at the pub I was at last night with a very unique style, but very enjoyable. So when the singer made his rounds to the bar to thank everyone for coming out, most people just replied with, "Yeah, no problem. Ya'll were great!" But when he got to me, and said thanks for coming out, I responded with something like, "It's always nice to hear a new sound. Ya'll have quite a unique style to yourselves. I really enjoyed listening to ya'll, great set." And guess what? He stuck around to chat for a while. Just because I gave him something more than just a cookie-cutter answer. Starting to see how complimenting everyone has it's advantages?
So in conclusion, once you've trained yourself to think about people in this way - more positive, descriptive and less cookie-cutter - you'll find that people will enjoy being around you much more. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having someone around dishing out compliments on the regular?
So get to practicing TODAY! Make it a priority to give at least 5 compliments per day. You'll thank yourself later.
~ Cheers
