The Story of Saint X

[Saint X]

Ah, damn... here we go now.

I delayed my registration and introduction to you guys for some time, have encountered many, many problems with "spam-like/inappropriate content", but the time has finally come to show up to you.

I truly feel like I need a tribe that could ultimately help me with its wisdom and experiences, thus making me waaay better with women - and when I become better, I hope I can share my own experiences and someday give a lot to you in return. I believe there is no better place than Skilled Seducer.

I am Saint X, 22 years old from Europe, living abroad in a country in which I'm not very fluent in the language they use (I want to find a way to talk to women, even if it's gonna be sign language lol). I love to push through obstacles, challenges and become better every single day in areas important and fun to me.

My main goal is to become as great with women as I possibly can. I want to achieve that feeling and capability that I am well equipped with skills that are gonna allow me to woo girls as close as it'd be with a magic spell! It is the feeling of power, accomplishment, confidence and being wise that drives me to embark on this journey. Sex, great relationships are secondary... at least I think so, my goals and expectations could change at any minute!

My current experience with women is... well, as you can guess, not satisfying. If I have a date in a year, it's a success, lol. Currently, I'm doing night game in clubs whenever I can, due to the language barrier (yet I feel that's just an excuse and there is a way to overcome it somehow... I just haven't found it yet >: ) ). I want to try day game, have no experience in it yet. It needs to change!

I'm gonna go out mainly on weekends due to my work, but if there is gonna be a day off during the work week - I'm gonna go out of my house and, well... approach women. When I do so, I surely will write everything here or post another threads. Doesn't matter if it's going to be a win, struggle, eureka, lay report, or mistakes I'm gonna make.

And... thank you guys for being there and sharing your experiences here - that truly motivated me to reach out to you. If there is going to be a day I could help you and share with you with some amazing stories - I can't wait to do so!

 

[Rakehell]

Welcome man

 

[Saint X]

Day second of my story flew by really fast. A long and physically tiring day at work, yet so satisfying... a lot of sun, Vitamin D boosted greatly, close company and a lot of laughs!

I am truly motivated and happy that I finally sacrificed things that held me back to finally take the first step on this journey. All I do now is eat, sleep, work, train, learn, take action. I feel like I'm in the zone and nothing is gonna stop me. I don't waste my time on TV, games, social media... they had their fair share in my life and it's enough. Literally anything that is a distraction and does not bring me closer to achieving what I want is eradicated from my interests. The first days were hard to find myself in the zone (boredom, lack of stimulation), but now it just flows out of me, and energy is almost limitless. It's like you went as a kid on a vacation to your grandma that lives in the village, and you would just be bored to death - nothing but animals, no screens, nothing stimulating... until you actually start to like it. And the moment you come back from the vacation to your home is like WOW! EVERYTHING IS SOOO INTERESTING!

Hereby I promise to post daily. Anything. There is not going to be a day where I do not push my story forward. Embracing anything that comes is gonna be soo satisfying even if it hurts (and it's going to!). My thoughts, emotions and experiences are going to be with you, written with total honesty and a growth mindset. Maybe a dose of craziness... who knows, lol!

But back to the topic.

My step to get forward with my journey is to get fundamentals well handled. The only thing from fundamentals that I feel I handle well is fashion. My greatest weakness is eye contact, walking style, and default facial expression. Eye contact, not because I fear looking anyone in the eyes, but because I tend to look away when I listen to somebody. It's like if I truly want to listen to anyone and want to focus on what they say, I tend to not control my eyes and let them drift away. Additionally, when I speak, I usually am very expressive and tend to lose myself in emotions. Not in a bad way, of course - I just like to speak energetically and love to feel that I'm alive in every moment of my life. I don't know now if it's gonna hinder my progress somehow since the social fundamentals tell about a degree of boredom and deliberateness, and I am just over the top and enjoying myself and being in the moment.

I'm working on it, I know there is a way to combine my beloved expressiveness with elite-level eye contact, and decided to always hold it with anybody - 90/95% either when I listen or speak. If I go overboard with eye contact then great - I'm gonna find the boundaries and know where the limits are, but to find it I need to go overboard. And oohh most certainly I want to!

Walking style, because... well, it just doesn't look that sexy at all!

Default facial expression - I tend to frown my eyebrows a lot, and it looks like I'm mad all the time. I don't know why, I guess I thought that was attractive as I was younger and it became a habit... I need to eradicate this ASAP!

By the way, when I was still in high school (around 5 years ago), I remember very vividly reading RSD posts about being "non-reactive". I somehow made it backfire, I don't know how, but I ultimately devastated my attainability by being so aloof with every girl that I couldn't give a fuck about them, secretly hoping that I don't care about them is gonna make them notice me and magically fall in love with me... maaan, what a dumbass I was, hahaha!

So, to sum it up very shortly, my clear focus is going to be on fundamentals, and make them feel effortless. Ah, anyway, you know how it is with fundamentals - you don't need to listen to me talking about them and how to improve them. If I encounter any obstacle, I will make sure to tell you here!

There is still much to tell, but let's skip the details for now and keep things straight and clear. Fundamentals need to be mastered as much as possible, period.

Thanks for reading!

Saint X

P.S. I still encounter "Your content can not be submitted. This is likely because your content is spam-like or contains inappropriate elements. Please change your content or try again later. If you still have problems, please contact an administrator." for no reason. If I don't write daily, that is the reason. If there is going to be another reason, I'm gonna tell you.

 

[Saint X]

Homework assignment 1 (from One Date): I chose eye contact and voice.

Developing eye contact through Magic Eyes bonus.

Mastering voice from A Sexy Voice bonus.

Can't wait to see improvements! And if there is a place to share my progress, be it voice samples/posture and fashion pictures with you guys - I am motivated to do so!

...

I still think about the start of this journey and what's going to come out of this... there is that weird feeling of making a great sacrifice since I stopped doing things I used to do before.

No TV, no games, no wasting time... I think I spent 5 hours today improving myself. I really, REALLY want to make this work.

Maybe that's my caffeine anxiety speaking (I'm on my way to cutting it out again, too), but it feels... right. That sacrifice, that engagement, and giving my best, even if I feel like a burning shooting star. Embracing every emotion on the way while pushing and pushing and pushing... is scary, yet exciting and satisfying. Let's embrace the pain of the burn, baby!

This Saturday, I'm gonna go to the club and do nightgame. The crowd is mainly very young, 18-24 years old. I've got many compliments about the way I dress and look just by the looks of everybody. Even two gays told me that I'm the sexiest motherfucker in the club at least 10 times lol. The goal is: to engage at least 5 women while maintaining excellent eye contact and a great voice, and get myself used to it. An optional challenge is to find and talk to the hottest woman in the club. Of course, if I'm gonna have a lay in my car (that's my secret goal haha), that's an even better bonus.

This Sunday, I want to do my first ever Day Game, of course without knowing the language that well. It's gonna be a funny and insightful experience as hell! I still haven't found a venue to do it, but I have some ideas I need to execute.

My another weakness is that I feel too "proud" to start a conversation with women. I truly do not know where it came from and how it developed, but I understand that it needs to be eradicated. So let's adopt a fuck it mindset and do it despite what I feel in the moment.

That's all for now, thanks for reading!

Saint X

 

[Saint X]

Well, I guess I'm guilty of claiming that I'm gonna post daily and ultimately took a 2 months break from the forums... my credibility really dropped with that one lol

Through experience and a little thought, I want to change my claim and say: Fuck it, I'm gonna post if I have something worth telling or just write whenever I feel like it. No promises, since my journey to become a skilled seducer is already packed with little mental breakdowns (no worries, they were REALLY helpful and necessary ).

Buuuut... despite breakdowns and that break... that doesn't mean I haven't done anything at all! That's why I want to write to you about my progress.

First of all, I really feel like I've got my fundamentals down. Seriously. I'm 6"3', fairly good-looking, and muscular (to the point that some people think I took steroids). Fashion, posture, voice, eye contact, everything fell into a very good place. I suppose I can up them even more, but when two attractive girls straight up opened me in a nightclub and tell me that I'm really handsome with strong eye contact and a smile, it needs to mean that it's more than enough for now, what do you think? Additionally, a TON of approach invitations. I can provide you with pictures of me and my style, or even voice recordings; if you request it - cuz why the hell not? I'm always down to hear your constructive opinions and bits of valuable wisdom! Aaand I love to record myself talking lol

Yeah, it's all good and fun, fundamentals, blah blah blah... now let's see areas where I need to improve URGENTLY.

First comes - LOGISTICS. When I know logistics are handled, I know I won't hesitate to escalate. But when I know I didn't take care of them it's like I subconsciously know nothing's gonna happen, and number closes are not reliable in nightlife venues (at least for me), so I don't give my best to seduce anyone. And that is because I haven't figured out something... hear me out, guys!

Nightclub - you enter, you pay - when you go out, you need to pay again to come inside. The funny thing is I feel when a gal likes me a lot and wants me, she wouldn't mind going out of the club and paying again when she wants to come back to her friends. That's just a stupid, little voice inside my head. Solution? Always make sure that you've got a place to have sex with her and escalate skillfully like crazy!

Second - OPENING. Until recently I had strong general anxiety because of escapism in any form. I'm sure you heard that it's not the thing that is bad, but the way it's used. Video games? I used it to forget. Porn? I used it to "heal" my bad sex life. Mindless internet usage? Used just not to think about problems and life. And many more... until one moment came, when I went to the nightclub. The view of people having fun, seducing one another, and enjoying life to the fullest while I was standing with apathy, anxiety, and brain fog struggling to even form my thoughts struck me like somebody with a baseball bat. And I was fucking done.

I couldn't wait. I wanted to make progress but was not capable of making any. I needed to change - NOW. I understood that my life was meant to enjoy it, crush it, make amazing memories, go through it with my head held up, and progress in any way I want. Not wasting my precious time at the front of a screen pretending everything was okay. I felt that dreadful feeling of rotting inside... so I've decided to go through the most painful hell I could imagine... and sacrificed everything.

I'm using screens only in a way that aids me in improving my life ONLY. I've trained myself that whenever I feel bored, I'm gonna learn or meet girls or visit family or whatever amazing thing I feel like doing, and not gonna stray from writing my own story. I've trained myself that if I want to have a great sex life, I'm gonna have sex only with women - not my own fucking hand, lol. If I get really horny and am gonna feel like I explode... well, I better find a girl! And that alone conditioned me to develop a true longing and motivation to approach women, to talk to people whenever I am, flirt, and develop insane libido that manifests itself in an instant I see the girl I want to take to the bed. And I never felt better about it. Never.

Long story short, my anxiety vanished. Doesn't matter what I do. I am NOT anxious. I am excited that I do seemingly crazy stuff ordinary people fear to do. I love my life, even if it punches me straight in the gut. The problems that I tried to escape from either are already resolved or I'm on my way to resolving them. I truly feel like the best version of myself - and I am not gonna come back to my dysfunctional, old ways.

I am glad I could share that bit with you although I write it with a bit of fear... no person I know would truly understand this all, not even my family (I've already tried). I have a feeling you are going to understand. So there it is - the part of me I didn't even share with my relatives is in front of your very eyes!

EDIT: My lay count since the start of the journey is: 0. My desire to do my first day game ever is increasing like never before. I can't wait!

Biggest challenges for now: nail down logistics, learn to open/talk to attractive girls wherever I am (not gonna take long to learn that), and improve language fluency (I still live abroad and game knowing maybe half of the language)

 

[Saint X]

Three stitches on my toe. Still hurts like hell.

Gonna go to the nightclub anyway. My balls hurt much more than my ripped toe, rofl

Kinda tired, too much caffeine today morning, needed to get a lot of things done, bit anxiety from too much of it, I'm gonna manage though.

I'm going for the kill today. What happens there, stays there. I want results NOW, BABY!

Goal: do my best, no beating around the bush, and have rough sex in my car. I'm thankful for the posts about thoughts and insights about it.

Happy hunting to yall, much love <3

EDIT: Oh, and I've slept around 4 hours only. Workout helped me put myself in right mood. Challenge up, satisfaction waay higher.

I found the song I'm gonna play while enjoying her body - Devil Eyes by Hippie Sabotage. Love it totally.

UPDATE: FUCKFUCKFUCK my toe hurts to the point I can't walk. I also almost fall asleep. Before that I've visited 2 venues, all almost empty. Very, very disappointed.

No pussy for Icarus today. Boo hoo.

 

[Saint X]

A very eye-opening and a bit disappointing thing happened this Saturday.

I was in the nightclub and brought all the eyes on me. I start to get used to it. Bouncers respect me and like me, people seem to love to compliment me and be on my good side. A ton of approach invitations, from the hottest women in the venue, included. I did nothing, just moved seductively, slowly, and held sexy eye contact whenever I could. It was fun (... and ego-boosting, haha)!

Yet, as I was roaming around and went to the location with the view on the whole main dancefloor of the club, I decided to test something.

I always thought that my lack of success with women did not come from a lack of fundamentals. I knew it was the follow-up, the plan, just the sole aspect of learning game and gaining experience. But even then, to gain it I need to interact, to test, to go for the kill, obviously, but... I never felt that drive. That raw, sexual drive. I thought I was feeling it, but I was mistaken. Something was missing.

So I tested myself. As I was standing in that spot with the view of the club, I looked at the hottest ones and started to undress them in my mind. I tried to arouse myself as strongly as I could, and that was when the realization struck me...

... I am not horny. At all.

I was shocked. I did not react, along with my dick. I even started to get repulsed from thinking about touching women.

REPULSED FROM TOUCHING WOMEN!!!

That was something bizarre. I feel in my heart I want to meet women, to succeed with them, and all the time when I show up... I go cold. I felt something and nothing at the same time.

As I realized that and roamed around, trying to evoke it once again, somehow desperately... and nada. Damn it, I thought. And I packed my shit and returned home.

At that moment, if I did not know the case of it, I would be scared to the bones. But I know the case, and I am on my way to solving it. Hear me out.

Remember when I said I gave up everything? Well, today is the 17th day of giving up everything for good. Yes, I had a relapse. That was necessary for me, that relapse was the hardest, the coldest, and unforgiving moment of realization of the direction my life would go if I wouldn't grow up a pair of big balls and face the demons here and now. I am good now. I'm on my way to reviving my inner instincts, drive, love, and power to get what I want from life.

... but it takes time to regenerate. And I am a very, very impatient person when I know I can do something about anything. I hate waiting.

The point is - it is the 17th day of no porn, no masturbation. I remember, two years ago when I was on my longest streak of breaking free from that shit and started to figure out how things functioned with my addiction, around that time I was asexual, and my mood fluctuated worse than a crazy girl on her period. That period lasted around a month (to around the 45th day), just to break into a full blossom of beautiful, strong sexuality, immense energy, and that drive. After that I lowered my guard and let myself relapse again, just to watch my growth disappear into the abyss...

Reassuming: to progress with women, I need to be patient and do my best to stay away from everything. I need to give myself some time and be patient. I know how it goes, I know how to succeed and crush it. I know exactly how it was when I was free from it for long enough, almost unstoppable. But at the same time, I've got a little voice in my head telling me that allowing myself to wait is only an excuse for me not taking action. I slapped that voice and regained control, of course, since I know that is false.

Plan of action: give myself time to heal. Learn game in between. Enjoy life and regain that fire. Understand it takes time. Don't beat myself up if I don't feel like it. Be patient. And NEVER GIVE UP.

And please, if you feel like watching porn and struggle with symptoms like me... maybe it's time to think it through ten times before you do so?

Thanks for reading, much love as always!

 

[Saint X]

Reading my previous posts in my journal feels weird given my life situation now. So many promises, seemingly wise words and promising outcomes, just to find out I have much more to learn and to experience as I thought.

I am deep into depression, lack of purpose and lost track of my life mission. I casted away my beloved habits, got out of touch with what I want to achieve.

I need to get out - and that's a note to myself.

Never forgot about seduction and succeeding in life in my own way. It's just not the right time for me. I got very, very lost and foolish thinking that I would achieve any success while being in this state of being half-dead caused by my own hand.

I am angry. And it's time to do something very challenging and necessary. A rite of passage of some sort.

- cut out all internet/screen use (besides truly necessary things).

- no sex whatsoever. (radical, stupid to most of you, I know)

- doing my daily habits again, religiously (workouts, diet, sleep, RLT, etc.)

- eliminating all drugs, legal and illegal (caffeine, alcohol, weed etc.)

... and this all until the end of 2025.

I have issues. I need to conquer the challenge of my life. I need to tackle everything all face on - once and forever.

This post might be very ambiguous - that's fine. Its just a note to myself. I will come back with full report at the end of this year. Maybe somebody could take some lessons after I'm done with my rite of passage. For sure I won't be another lost person that only drifts through life like a zombie - if life throws at me a fucking boulder to squash me, I won't back down. There is no fucking way I will end up never experiencing what it's like to live with full potential. That's why I need that challenge. Drastic challenge. Experience. To deal with my own self. To deal with demons that I've let into my life.

Enough. We see ourselves at the end of the year.

Piece.