The Zero Chronicles - My NextASF Lay Reports

[0---]

LR: Fucking on a Boat


I think I am going to start my own brand of reports, where I have sex in cool places. So after "fucking in the middle of the street", I present you with "fucking on a boat"! On a more serious note, this is probably most insightful for people interested in the "non-chasing" type of game. This is one of the hottest girls I've banged, and she pretty much chased me throughout the entire interaction.


tl;dr:



- really cute petite chick with a perfect body, met her in a bar about 2 months ago
- cockblocked by logistics back then, have been texting back and forth over entire time
- finally meet her late at night in a bar, go clubbing with her and my friends
- *plot twist* end up having sex on a boat


Wanna know how that happened? Haha, you'll have to read the entire report for that! It is a bit long, but I made sure to describe the sex in detail so you perverts have something to look forward to!



The first meet


Let's turn back the wheels of time by about two months. I'm out on a sunday night with a buddy of mine and his two friends. We are sitting in a cool illegal bar, cracking up over each other's jokes. My buddies' friends see a group of four chicks looking for a place to sit, wave them over and arrange for them to have chairs. I notice that two of the chicks are really cute, and one of them is actually smoking hot with dark hair, dark eyes (my favourite type), a sensual face, great petite body and a sexual vibe.



However, I've actually just met this buddy and I am severely guy-crushing on the man and his sense of humour, so I let his two friends chat up the chicks. I keep cracking jokes with him, pretty much cracking up at every second sentence of his, enjoying the fuck out of the night. At some point, the girls start asking us questions and we make some polite conversation. Well, not that polite I guess, since we're both immediately fucking around with them. I show my buddy a silly dirty picture, and without any apparent reason, he decides to show it to two of the chicks. This is the pic:



____



I crack up. They laugh a bit as well. We keep talking to them - it's mostly them asking standard questions and us trying to come up with the most hilarious answers to them. They rearrange their seating so that the smoking hot one sits next to me. More conversation. Then the hottie asks me if I want to go for a smoke and I comply.


We go outside, light our smokes and have a short conversation I don't remember. Then, she asks me if I have naughty pics in my phone. I show her the picture from above. She laughs. I call her a bad girl. I kiss her.

After some making out, we head back inside, where the guys are stil working on their girls. Her and me spend rest of the evening trying to get our friends to hook up, but they fail miserably. One of her friends has a boyfriend who she wants to leave and my buddy fails to get around her moral issues, and one of his friends stupidly refuses to just kiss his girl in front of everybody when she is clearly waiting for it. This does not bode well for the night.


We leave the bar and try to find a club to go dancing, but the lines are too long. So we decide to head to somebody's appartment. My girl keeps telling me how hot she thinks I am. Because my buddy and his friends have been dragging their feet for too long with the other chicks, we suddenly have two random guys in the group as well. The entire thing becomes a bit of a shitshow, with my buddy and his friends refusing to take the entire group to their appartment with these two guys in tow and my attempts to bring everybody to my place failing because it is too far away. I also fail at extracting my hottie from the group, because they are all from outside of the city and need to take her car to get back, and she has to get up early. She's at least as bummed about this as I am, saying:





Her: "Ugh, fuck not being able to fuck you!" (Note: that was way wittier in her language, haha!)





I tell everybody that I am fed up with the shit show, and we say our goodbyes after exchanging contact details.



In between


She texts me a few days later, just saying this:


Her: "Sexy!"
Me: "Cutie!"


I immediately try to set a next meet, but we fail. We exchange some pictures, and she tells me that I am ridiculously hot and that she would do all sorts of things to me. For the entire next two months, our interactions are then limited to trying to see if we can get to meet up on the weekend. She tells me she'll tell me when she is in town. I usually ping her a few days before a weekend that would work for me, saying:


Me: "Cutie!"
Her: "Sexy!"


This becomes a bit of a ritual, but we never manage because I am out of the country or she is busy and can't come into the city.



The lay

Fast forward to last weekend. She has become a bit more laconic in recent text exchanges (probably because I initiated too much, or just because we never made it happen), so I am almost ready to write it off. Thus, I am pleasantly surprised when she sends me a lengthy text on Friday, saying that she'll be in the city on Saturday and we have to make it work. Being the mean-spirited bastard I am, I text her back in very few words, saying something like "we'll see", knowing that it'll be quite difficult to align all my Saturday plans.



Saturday night, I am out in a crappy bar in the middle of town with some buddies. I ping her ("Cutie!"), and we find out each others' whereabouts. I tell her to come to my place, she tells me to join her, I ignore it because I am waiting for two of my friends to show up here, and she finally shows up at our bar with two friends. My two friends have just appeared a few minutes before. They are some of my best friends who I haven't seen in a long time, so I am absolutely elated. It is not easy to get the three groups to mix because of language differences, but I make it work easily because I am in a great mood.


We have a fun time for a while, but the girls want to go dancing. I convince my friends to join, even though they are not too much into clubbing. Outside of the bar, I kiss my hottie for the first time since she showed up. We take a cab to the club and enter swiftly. Inside the club, I alternate between having fun with my two buddies who are dancing like absolute idiots, and grabbing the hottie by the neck to kiss her deeply and sexually. I am having a great time because I feel that I absolutely dominate the situation! At some point, I notice that my fingers still smell of my regular girl I have slept with in the afternoon. My life is so goddamn awesome. The girls ask me about my buddies but I have to tell them that they are both in monogamous relationships. Poor chicks.


After some time, she tries to tell me something and I cannot understand because of the loud music. So I grab her and lead her outside, where she tells me that this time, I cannot leave her hanging. She basically wants me to promise to her that she'll get my cock tonight. I assure her that tonight will be fun, and tell myself there is no reason to extract quickly. We get back inside where she buys me a drink. While we are waiting at the bar, she opens my belt and pants and stops short of pulling out my cock. She tells me we can't do this here and tries to pull me to the toilets, where she notices that it won't work either because there are too many people. I am just sort of observing this comedy with a smirk, amused by how this ridiculously sexy woman is working hard to make sure that she'll get my cock tonight.


My buddies leave at some point because we have to get up rather early to go on a sailing trip the next morning. I spend some more time dancing with the girls. My hottie buys me two more drinks and I try to find out their logistics. It turns out they are staying in the city… in a yacht in the port where I am supposed to show up the next morning for the sailing trip! This is truly awesome! Well, I guess I had some logistics karma left over from the shitshow when I first met her…


When it is obvious that the other two chicks won't get laid, we finally take a cab to the port. On the ride, the two other chicks make sure to sort it out so I get a cabin with my hottie for ourselves. They also make sure that there are condoms (I brought two). I just sit there, enjoying how these three chicks make sure to arrange my hookup.

We get to the boat, and I finally get to be alone with her. Some passionate kissing, some ripping off of clothes, some fingering …and dammit, I can't get it up. She looks at me with a doubtful look, but I just tell her:


Me: "Don't worry… the alcohol, you know. This will take a while, but it'll work."


I simply know that I want to and I will fuck this hot little piece of ass. Because goddammit, she's got an amazing body! A perfect little peachy ass, very flat body, small but perky tits… she's just a treat to look at! I try to go down on her, but she stops me, so I let her suck me, start fucking her mouth with a limp dick, finger her and try to put on a condom on a still limp dick (dumb move!!! ). Then, I finally find a way to get myself hard: While she is lying with her head against a wall, I finger her while I fuck her mouth and pull out from time to time and slap her face hard with my cock.


I'm finally hard. I put on the second condom, and let her get on top of me. She sits down on my cock and immediately starts riding me like there is no tomorrow. Seriously, I've never had a girl go to business that quickly. And when I say business, I mean machine-gun speed railing over the entire length of my cock!

So that's what it's going to be. I let her ride like this for a few minutes, then I grab her and roll her on her back. I spend some time fucking her fast and hard with her legs on my shoulders. It is great, rough, dirty fucking sex. We continue switching around positions for some time, until I think I am close to cumming. I pull out, rip off the condom and jerk off over her boobs. Nothing happens.


Me: "Dammit, I thought I was close there!"

I stop jerking, thinking that we can end it here. But that's not what she has in mind.

Her: "No. I want you to cum!"

So she starts sucking me again. We spend at least a quarter hour trying to navigate me towards orgasm, I get closer but not close enough. Finally, she gets on top of me again and asks me if I can control myself not to cum inside her. I confirm that and ask her if she takes the pill and she says yes. So I put it in, she starts riding me hard again, and I add to it by thrusting as hard and fast as I can. Only now do I notice how fucking small her pussy is! After five more minutes of this, I pull out and finally, finally cum.


We must have rocked that boat for at least an hour.

In the morning, we fuck once more. She must have been ridiculously wet the night before, because now I notice that her pussy is so small it actually hurts me! We are still fucking quite roughly, so I cum after a much shorter time. We get dressed and have a shower together in the port facilities. No more sex despite her efforts - my cock decides he's had enough.


Then, I walk a hundred meters to meet up with my friends for the sailing trip. I am sleep-deprived, hungover and wearing yesterday's clothes.


And a big fucking smile to go with it.



_________________


- This was one of the hotter girls I have slept with, and I hadn't banged a new chick in way over a month at that point. Despite that, I was laid-back and let her chase me through the entire interaction. I have gone through quite a reframe recently, and stopped giving too much importance to getting laid at all. I don't follow up with most of the chicks I run into, and my standards are higher now. I think it radiates in my vibe. Good thing!

- pinging is not chasing! I think you sometimes need to remind chicks that you are still interested so they have the confidence to keep chasing you, especially if things never work out. I probably did a wee bit too much of it here, but still.

- girls are out to find cock. My hottie kept asking me about my friends, so she could hook her friends up. Take note, aspiring players.

- Bring at least three condoms with you anytime, anywhere. I've been constantly running out of rubbers because I have way too much sex with my regular chick who I'm growing quite close to, so this has been a problem. I really should stop banging randoms without a condon, it's dumb. Don't do this at home kids!!!

- If you're a big social circle kinda guy like me, group control is important. I did not take charge fully of moving the group in the first night, and that led to a fuckup - in the second night, I managed to melt several groups into a fun mold and make everybody move together. Result: boat sex.

- remember my fuckup report from a while ago? I did nothing different here when hanging out with the group and not pulling yet - if I prefer hanging out with people still, I'll do just that. It was probably safer because I'd met her before and she was a clear type 3 giving me a no-nonsense statement of intention, but still: this is my frame. I don't change my plans for pussy.

2023 editorial note: this was my second most favorite girl in this period. She brought me and my friends to great cultural events, and the day before I left she bought me tickets to a burlesque show, then had a beautiful hotel room reserved for us to fuck the whole night in. I'll never forget you, C.

 

[0---]

"Do you want to fuck the two of us?" - Devil's Threesome



- got seduced by a social circle girl who I actually didn't want to fuck
- two days later: meet her again at a party, with my buddy
- ask her the title line of this report - 1.5 hour pure porn ensues (details below)


______________


Okay, so this is about a girl I did not even want to fuck in the first place. I've been trying to upgrade my standards since I've reached the number at which I'd always told myself to stop going for quantity. This girl is damn cool but really not hot, just above my fuckable threshold indeed. I'd met her at some party before and made out with her but never given it any further thought.


A few weeks later, I am out with a group of people I don't know that well, and turns out she's friends with them and is also there. I am trying to focus on other chicks (place was packed) so I ignore her at the start. At some point however, she grabs me and starts dancing with me. I am kinda drunk at this point so I roll with it. She pulls me away from the group and starts grabbing my cock. She definitely wants to fuck me asap, so I think to myself "oh what the hell, why not" and pull her off the floor. I pull her down a stairway in the club, wall-slam her and pull out my cock. She starts sucking it, and I pull out a condom and put it on. Just when she's pulled down her pants, people show up. We're in a highly lit part of the club, so I figure it's better to move on. Well, long story short, we take a cab (she's sucking my dick the entire ride), make it back to her place and I fuck her a few times.


The day after, I feel sorta bad about it because she's social circle (this place is gossippy as hell) and I didn't really want to fuck her. Well, turns out karma had a return ticket for me.


Few days later, we're at a house party with my natural buddies. Turns out it's her place, and she's there as well. My buddy knows what has happened and immediately starts teasing her and asking questions about how the sex was. The guy is proper secret society and she's cool, so it turns into a fun conversation. I can tell she's turned on by it, so out of the blue I ask:


Me: "Do you want to fuck the two of us?"

Her: "Hmmm…."


That is all we need. I pull her by the hand and we find an empty room. I try to close it by key but it is not possible. So we are separated from the entire flat full of people by just the door, but that turns out not to be a problem.


Once in the room, my buddy immediately pulls her in and goes for the make-out. After a few seconds, he pushes her away, and she turns around to make out with me. There is a short moment where we are both wondering how to proceed, but my buddy just pulls out his cock. I tell her:


Me: "Go, suck his dick!"

..and she immediately does as told. And from there on, it turns into complete porn with a side of comedy. She is completely into it. I pull out my cock as well and tell her to suck it, and she does so with enthusiasm while my buddy slaps on a condom that I hand him. We pull down her pants and he starts fucking her while she is sucking me. I have some trouble getting hard, so this continues for a while, then he pulls out and we both put our cocks in her face. She tries to make them touch but we stop her (funny moment!), so she just alternates while we're both jerking as well. Proper porn moment.


Then she turns around and I fuck her (condom's on by now, but we both lose them later… don't do that at home kids!) while she sucks my buddy. We high-five and hold hands for a proper Eiffel Tower moment. We keep laughing at how awesome this moment is.


Well, and this just continues for one and a half hour. We alternate between fucking her and getting sucked, and it's loads of fun. I give her loads of verbal commands, while my buddy is a bit more physical. Absolutely no "omg this is gay" awkwardness, just fun and laughs.

At one point, I’m behind her fucking her doggy while she is sucking my friend who’s sitting down now. I feel like I am close to cumming, so I pull out and start rubbing over her butt.


Somehow she shifts positions and suddenly I’m wanking and my buddy is looking up at me from below my cock.

Him: “Careful with that!”

I literally drop on the floor laughing.

I try to get up again, but my erection is gone. I can't cum because I am laughing so hard. So I just watch them finish without me.

In the end, he cums in her mouth, but I don't notice for some reason. She turns around and I kisses me after that.

Once we are done, we notice that everybody has left the party. So I walk to the toilet in just my underwear, and just at that moment her girl roommates come home. Awkward moment. Absolutely hilarious. I go home immediately after because I have to get up early for an important work meeting, and my buddy stays there and fucks her one more time.

The kiss she ended it with ends up being the running joke between my mates for the next few weeks. I could care less, I find it as hilarious as them: every time I roast or tease somebody, the answer is an immediate "shut up you swallowed his cum!"


Great times.


_______________





What I've learned:

- be more direct, straightforward. It's fucking sexy.
- lead and make it natural
- things like these are part of my reality now. Secret Society here I come!
- I've heard and read many quite negative things about MFM threesomes, including here. Absolutely disagree with all, it's a blast and it's hot because it allows her to go absolutely sexual. Would and will do again.

 

[0---]

Last Call in small mediterranian town - SNL


This is a story from just a few days ago.


tl;dr:


- out in a small meterranian town with a few buddies
- do a few bars, dance and make out with a few girls but nothing hooks
- get to club, dance with more chicks, three-way make-out
- nothing hooks by closing time
- outside of club, cute girl with very fit body starts talking to me
- take her home, bang her in the shower of the hostel, kick her out


I'm out in a small mediterranean town with my new natural buddies and a girl that one of them has been working on (backstory spared for privacy). We start the night eating a few small things and drinking a ridiculous amount of beer at a small bar. We are standing outside and are immediately attracting everybody's attention with our crazy antics. I am standing out particularly because I am clearly overdressed for the entire small town: I am wearing my favourite shirt (got me laid the first three times I wore it) and a suit jacket because I came straight from work.


We bounce to another bar that is buzzing with people, and start to mingle. I'm by myself pretty soon. I open a few girls by giving them a spin, dance with a few, but nothing really sticks. Make out with one girl, but she tells me she has a boyfriend and she's with her friends who are standing next to us and have witnessed it, so her ASD is too high to isolate/escalate.


We want to bounce to a club we've heard about but get stuck in a small bar. There is only us and a group made up of several girls and 2 guys. One of the girls is absolutely stunning, the type of dark-eyed, dark-haired mediterranean beauty that I absolutely dig, with possibly a bit of asian blood in there. I make her my target. We catch their attention as my buddy's girl tries to dance on the bar, and we get in a conversation with some of the girls. My target is outside smoking with one of the guys in the group. I tell my buddy I want to get with her, and we immediately go outside and strike up a conversation with the guy. I ignore the chick and when she tries to get in on the conversation, I give her quite one-lined answers and focus on the guy. My buddy however starts chatting her up, and soon we are talking just to her and he's faded in the background. I do not recall the conversation, but I remember her giving me flirty eyes quite quickly. She is definitely into me.


Back inside, some of her friends tell me that she likes me and ask me if I like her too. Cute! I tell them yeah she's sexy, and ask them if they are moving to the club as well. They are! I socialize with the group a bit, then we manage to bounce. We have to wait for something, so the girls move ahead of us. I make my girl promise me that we'll meet her at the club.


We arrive at the club after some delay, and guess what… my mediterranean beauty is nowhere to be found. She just didn't show up! I guess some girl drama happened that kept the entire group from going to the club. I am a big angry at myself for not just taking charge and walking the entire group to the club. Whatever, it's gone.


It is now just one buddy, his girl and me. He is making out with her now, so I am on my own. I decide it is time for me to start practicing mass-approaching girls for the fun of it, and I start approaching loads of girls by giving them a spin and starting to dance. A few sets hook, but the attractive girls try to pawn me off to the less attractive ones in their group. I am not yet very well versed in this mass-approach thing, but I am having fun.

Suddenly, my buddy's chick walks up to me and starts introducing me to girls. We are having a blast. Then, a fun thing happens: one girl grabs my hand out of the blue:


Her: "I am going to introduce you to my friend!" (friend of her walks up)
Me: "Is this her?"
Her: "No!" (another friend of her walks up)
Me: "Is this her?"
Her: "No!" (another friend of her walks up)
Me: "Is this her?"
Her: "No! This is her!"


She pushes me into this incredibly tiny chick, who must have been no taller than my chest. It felt ridiculous dancing with her, but at least she was over 20. A few minutes into dancing and talking to her:


Her: "You are way too hot for me! I have a friend who is into you!" (grabs my hand and pushes me into yet another girl)

At this point, I have literally become a commodity and I am being pushed from girl to girl. It is funny but also awkward. I dance with this last chick for half a minute, then I just turn and walk away laughing. I see a cute girl, walk up to her and give her a spin. We dance, I try to kiss her and she gives me this line:


Her: "I don't want to! I'm lesbian!"

She proceeds to show me her girlfriend, who is dancing in a group close to them. I pull her towards us and ask them:

Me: "Hey, do you want to try out a three-way kiss?"


They look at each other, shrug and we go for it. It's a funny experience! Afterwards, I just give them both a hug and eject. I run around the dancefloor and dance with girls a bit more. My buddy and his girl are tearing each other's clothes off in the middle of the dance floor - once again, we are the ones who are partying the wildest. I like it.


However, nothing really bites anymore in the last part of the evening. After some time, it's closing time and we are outside of the club smoking a cigarette. A girl approaches me for a lighter, and I start talking to her. She is pretty, and has a smoking hot sporty little body. I tease her a little bit ("you look like one of those girls who never had to work at school. I bet you're smart") and invite her for the after-party at our place. Some chode who knows her starts giving me loads of shit but I get rid of him quite soon (don't remember details).


So we start walking away from everybody. While walking, I kiss her. She kisses me back hungrily. I pull her into an alley and we make out furiously. She is obviously horny, but lives with her parents and siblings, and I can't convince her to take that risk. So I decide to take a cab back to the hostel with her. She complies happily.



Back at the hostel, we run into my buddy and his girl and talk to them shortly ("What, you're back already?" "Yeah, WE're back already."). They head into the four-bed room we occupy, and I ask her if she wants to be alone for this. Her answer: "I don't care, what do you want?" It strikes me now that I could have banged her on the bunk bed with all my friends in the room and she would not have given a damn, haha!


Anyway, I pull her into the girls' showers of the hostel and we undress each other quickly. I pull her into one shower stall, slap on a condom and start fucking her. The stall is tiny as fuck and it is difficult to get into a somewhat okay position. Just as I want to pull her out of the stall again, somebody enters. It strikes me - it is seven in the morning, people are getting up already! So we proceed to fuck very quietly as somebody is taking a shower in the stall right next to us. It cracks me up inside but I continue. As the person leaves, I pull her out of the stall, sit her on the sink and give her a good proper fucking. It was goddamn hot sex, and her super tight body kept exciting me! After maybe 10 more minutes of this, I cum.


Just at this moment, another woman wants to walk into the shower. I stop her and get dressed while she shouts at me - "This is the womans' showers! I will complain!". We then get out of the showers quickly, say our goodbyes ("pleasure meeting you"), and I kick her out.


I never knew her name.


_______________________
I wrote down this story for a few reasons:
- I spent an entire night pretty unsuccessfully but still got laid - attitude! Reminds me of the lay report by sparxx recently and Teev's comments.
- When I am out with my buddies, we are normally and naturally the loudest people having the most fun - this attracts girls! I am pretty sure this chick saw me at the club before approaching me and had her mind set on going home with me from the start.
- I am starting to do something that I have never done before: mass approaching chicks I am doing it with a bit of a "I am just fucking around" vibe so it is still congruent with my non-chasing personality. Nevertheless, I have loads to learn about cold approach!
- I was completely over-dressed. This got loads of reactions and I am wondering if I shouldn't dress up more often (usually I am dressing very casually). I'm quite the handsome devil, and combined with classy clothing I look a million dollars... should probably use that to my advantage more often. It's just not very congruent with me...yet.

Anyway, hope this was helpful or inspiring. It's a bit long and I didn't have a lot of time to edit it. Hit me with your comments if you liked or disliked!

 

[0---]

LR: How to seduce an angel

Years later, I ended up marrying the chick from this report.

If you want to read it, ping me please.

 

[0---]

LR: I really wanted to fuck that night


tl;dr:
- make out with four girls (one known before)
- take home the fourth



There is not a lot of game in this report. Only a little comfort work and obviously escalation.


____________________


I have not had sex for eight days straight. And because I am experimenting around with not masturbating, that means I have not had an orgasm for eight days straight. I've pretty much got cum dripping out of my ears. I really want to fuck tonight.



We are out in a bar, and the girl from the boat report joins us. It has turned out that this chick is really smart and really cool. She's a lawyer and reads phylosophy books, and she's fun to hang around with. The last time I've seen her, she has invited me to a local culture festival in her town, and made sure that all of my friends got laid with some of her friends that night. We've been bantering around via text, and we have a little bet going on about whether or not I could "resist her" tonight. If I win and don't have sex with her, I get to bang her on my balcony. If she wins and I have sex with her, I have to wear her underwear and dance to a really crappy song for her. So I am looking forward to losing the bet by banging her on my balcony. I am so goddamn machiavellian.



However, me and my friends have bought tickets to a big party night, so we bounce there. The line without is ridiculously long, so it'll take a long time for my girl to get in. My friends have to fetch some stuff from their nearby home, so I go in alone first while my girl and her friends are on the way by cab. Inside, the party is raving. I go to the bar to grab a beer and wait for my friends, who have to come up the stairs next to the bar. As I am looking down to see if they are coming, I spot a gorgeous black-haired girl walking up towards me. I immediately make eye contact. It breaks but I look right back, and so does she. I smile. She smiles. As she is walking past me, I grab her hand and pull her in. I make some token small talk to find out she is turkish, and I kiss her. We make out until my friends show up who crack up about the fact that I am already on to the next one.



I grab my drink and pull her into the croud where we make out more and I slip my fingers under her ridiculously short dress. She stops me and I give her a mischievous smile. We make out more, I put her hands all over me and on my cock. This seems to be going well, apart from the fact that she is not too great of a kisser. I pull her to the downstairs floor, and I don't know if it is the music or the location, but the vibe kind of goes south a little. She excuses herself to the bathroom. I see her on her way back, and her expression says that something is not good. Either she just threw up in the bathroom, or she's having massive second thoughts. I grab her hand and follow her back to the upstairs floor where I kiss her again. She finds her friend and it is obvious that she wants me to leave, so I leave.


I find my friends and have some fun dancing for about an hour. My boat girl texts me that they can't get in anymore, and that I've won the bet. "See you on your balcony!" Good girl. I spot another cute chick with brown curly hair, and pull her in to dance with her. We have some really sexy deep eye contact moments and I kiss her a few times, but she keeps turning her head. This one is going nowhere.



I walk away towards the bar. A group of girls randomly pulls me in for a picture. I pose with a big winner gesture and an even bigger smile, and ask them who's birthday it is. The cutest of the girls points towards the ugliest chick. I congratulate her. The cutie tries to push me towards the birthday hag, but that is not what I have in mind. I use the cutie's movement to pull her towards me. She's got light brown, flat hair and huge bambi eyes. I pull her away from the group a bit and kiss her. She's a great kisser. We make out like teenagers for a while, and I try to pull her with me to take her home. She resists and says she has to go home with her friends. I spend more time making out with her, and giving her big comfort hugs (the kind where you breathe in deeply and relax in her arms - it makes her mirror that relaxation and be comfortable with you).



Her friends text her that they are leaving, and she wants to leave with them. So we leave the club together. We find the friends, and they chat back and forth for a short while. She turns towards me and I pull her into a mini-bubble. More kissing and hugging. Her friends walk away. She asks where I live and I tell her it is only a few minutes by cab. She says she doesn't know me at all. I give her the classic:



Me: "We will not do anything you don't want to."

Her: "Only sleeping?"

Me: "Nothing you don't want to"



We repeat this procedure a second time, and I wave over a cab. She gets in and waves goodbye to her friends. In the cab, I make very friendly, natural conversation to let her find out who I am and what I am doing in life. I make sure to come across like a very decent guy. Makes me crack up now that I am writing it, but it works. At my place, we get naked within a minute, I slap on a condom (yay me!) and we start fucking without any resistance. The sex is great, and after eight days without an orgasm, it is not so hard to get close to an orgasm. After about twenty minutes of fucking, I cum hard.


I needed that.


____________




As I said, not much to say.
- Sexual state
- Escalation
- Comfort techniques (hugs, verbal statements, normal conversation) to overcome her doubts. Note how there was no LMR in the end.


Note: I never knew this girl's name.


I found out the day after that I had a massive bruise in my face (from jumping around in a pogo circle) during the entire interaction with her. No wonder she was wary of going home with me!


Leave a comment if you liked the story!

 

[0---]

Does this count as a hired gun? (Note: more details on my verbal game)


Not that I really care.

tl;dr:
- insta-make out at bar
- cant take home, give her number
- meet her a week later at another bar
- take her home after about 5 minutes of talking

This girl is actually still sleeping in my bed, but I can't sleep. That means everything is still fresh in my memory. I've also managed to take some notes on my banter, so there will be some more detail on the shit I say for you people as an inspiration this time.

________________

I'm out in a bar with my buddies, partying. The barkeeper has just told us that it is his last night on the job and we can go wild, so by partying, I mean fucking partying. We are befriending everybody, fistpumping, ordering shots, yelling random shit, having a good time. I climb on the bar, my friend makes me take off my shirt, the barkeeper gets out whipped cream and puts it all over my naked torso, I lean back and lay down on the bar… none of the ladies in the room dares lick it off, but I just smear it on my face, dance some on the bar and get off.

After I have cleaned myself off, I am talking to my buddies about one of my recent debaucheries, in no vague terms. A fat, ugly woman overhears us (not that I'm being very subtle about it), and calls me a pig. I answer something, she comes closer to me to retort, puts her hand on my stomach, and stops mid-sentence. She gives me a puzzled look, and lifts my shirt. She looks at me for a second.

Her: "You've got a better body than Jesus!"

I crack up and continue partying. At some point, a cute girl tries to throw us out of the bar, and I just tell her "Look, we are here with this beautiful lady", pointing to a girl working behind the bar. That's actually true, one of my friends is banging her. We keep partying some longer, then we move on to the next bar with the bartenders after they've closed the bar. On the way to the bar, my buddy sees some people drinking and smoking on a balcony and invites us into a houseparty. We befriend everybody, eat some nice food and get some of their drinks. I get introduced to the guy who's birthday it is, and he introduces me to his husband. Turns out everybody at the party is gay. That's why they were so friendly with us!

The neighbours show up bitching about the houseparty, and we bounce before the situation becomes annoying. We walk into the bar where we were supposed to go. Some people are playing pool. I spot this girl standing next to the table, arms crossed. Her face is kinda cute, but her body is amazing. Looooooooong legs, slim legs, great boobs. She smiles at me. I walk up to her and say something. Whatever I said must have been amazing, because her response is:

Her: "Love is all I got"

I kiss her. We make out passionately. I find out she used to work at the bar we were at before, and she's actually the girl who tried to throw us out before. Didn't even notice. Everybody bounces back to that bar, and we have some fun drinking behind the counter and eating for free. Yay us. I kiss her from time to time, talk to her a bit, all light-hearted. Then I decide I need to go home because I have to get up early. She doesn't want to leave with me, so I give her my number because my battery is dead. She's surprised that I want to see her again. Seems I give away such a player vibe that any longer investment than a ONS is surprising, haha.

She texts the next day, I tell her I am busy all week but might have time to meet up on he weekend. We banter back and forth a bit, and then I go radio silent for most of the week. I ping her on the weekend to ask her for her plans. She's having dinner with work colleagues and is going to a bar afterwards. I tell her I might join her. I have a beer with my buddies at their place, but they are not keen on going out. She texts me she is getting drunk - now if that doesn't telegraph "come over and take advantage of me", I don't know. So I leave my buddies and take a cab to the bar.

I'm not really in the mood when I arrive at the bar. I also have to go to the toilet, so I decide to take a leak before finding her. As I am waiting in front of the men's toilet, the door opens, and a guy comes out. Before I can get in, another guy behind him closes the door from the inside. I am puzzled. A second later, another guy walks past me and knocks on the door. The guy inside opens, and they close the door again. I look at the guy behind me who is puzzled as well. Obviously, they are doing drugs, but I find this moment funny. So I decide to do take my leak later, and head out to find my girl. I say hi with a kiss on the cheek and immediately tell her the story.

Me: "What kind of place did you bring me to?"

Her: "It's the first time I'm here, but I love these kind of places!" (Note: it's a normal bar, not too shady)

Me: "I don't know, this seems dangerous. Are you dangerous?"

Her (laughs): "Haha, yeah, I am a murderer!"

Me: "Oooooh, that's exciting! How many people have you killed?"

Her: "Hmmm…"

She can't find a cool answer quickly. I've pulled her in step by step during the conversation. Now I am almost kissing her.


Me: "Come on! What's your number?!" (Anyone see the double entendre here? Mr. & Mrs. Smith anyone? )

Her: "Um, …"

And I kiss her. So it's on. I break first.

Me: "Who are you here with?"

Her: "Them" (points) "and these people" (points)

Me: "Oh, you are here with everybody!"

Her: "Yeah these are all my coworkers…"

Me: "Oooh did I just kiss you in front of your coworkers?"

Her: "It's okay, they'll just make fun of me on Monday."

Me: "We should run out in the streets and find a place where we can make out like teenagers!"

Her (laughs): "You like to make out like teenagers, don't you?"

I push her against the bar, kiss her again. She almost knocks over a drink with her elbow.

Her: "I'm a bit tipsy" (giggle)

Me: "I know" (let her notice the drink)

Her: "Oops!"

Me: "It's okay, I saved you!"

Her: "Thank you!"

Me: "No need to thank me, that's what I came here for! To save you!"

Her: "Save me from what?"

Me: "Spilling that drink. Now I can leave."

She laughs.

Me (laughing as well): "What would you do if I really left you now? You'd be like, wow, who was that guy? Is he from the future? Anyway, I see those guys from the toilet are back. That second guy really came quick!"


And I eject to the toilet. I've made myself crack up so much, and I remember Zardoz taking notes "in-field" in his novel, so I take down a few quick notes on the toilet. Hope you enjoyed - I usually don't remember jack shit of my banter.


I return, and it looks like her group are leaving to a club. She's not interested in going clubbing, neither am I, so after some more back-and-forth we just grab a cab to my place. She is obviously game. On the way home, we talk, I make fun of her for liking Jersey Shore, and we have some more laughs. We get home, I throw her on my bed. We make out, then I put my finger on her lips.


Me: "I have to go the bathroom quick. Something to drink?"

Her: "A glass of water would be great!"

Me: "Thought so. Make yourself comfortable!"


I take a leak, get her some water and we start where we left it off. Her blouse comes off quickly and I let the bra follow with one hand. It is really sexy and passionate, like the kind of movie scene where the two main characters finally get to rip each other's clothes off. My shirt comes off, and as I am kneeling above her, I pull her up towards me. She undoes my pants in this position. I am not wearing any underwear (yup, I read your blog, BoyToy), so my cock comes straight out. She immediately starts sucking it. I grab a condom, start fingering her, smack the condom on and get it on.

Initially, it is a bit difficult to get my cock all the way in, but once I grab her leg and put it on my shoulder, it is smooth sailing. After some smooth moves, I start railing her. She starts moaning, scratching my back and whimpering, all between the occasional "oh my god"'s. I'm pretty sure she came a few times. I'm just focused on getting myself closer to my orgasm, which is really difficult lately. Finally, after railing her full-speed for about twenty minutes in all kinds of positions, I feel the sensation coming closer. I start moaning loudly in her ear, and collapse onto her as I am having a full-body orgasm that makes me shiver for half a minute.


Later, while we are cuddling, she asks me:


Her: "So I was wondering, when I tried to throw you out of the bar…"

Me: "Yeah?"

Her: "You said you were there with a beautiful lady…"

Me: "Yeah, it's my friend's girl"

Her: "Oh… I was wondering if you were there for her but kissed me afterwards!"

Me: "She's your coworker!"

Her: "Yeah, and she thinks of me as a friend…so I thought I'd check. But I didn't want to ask you through text"

Me: "So you thought you'd wait until after we fuck."

Her: "Yeah, I didn't want to ruin that moment."


Women.


________________



Not a lot of points to add here. Hope you can see how I talk to them. I say loads of random shit with relatively high energy. Banter.


Leave a comment if you enjoyed!


Peace

 

[0---]

LR: "Like a sex god"



tl;dr:
- my buddy opens two girls at an EDM party but gets nowhere
- I start making out with both of them but blow the threesome opportunity by pushing too hard
- have very hot sex with the hotter one instead

…but there's a bit more to this story than that. It's a bit of a concluding point for a period of my life. Keep reading.

_____________

It's my last weekend in the city where I've spent the last half year of my life. I'm at a rooftop party with all my friends dancing to beautiful electronic music. The sun is slowly going down and the vibes are peaceful and happy. I've taken off my shirt and am enjoying the time with my friends, not wasting a thought on getting girls.

While I'm on my way to the bar to grab a beer, I see my buddy sitting on a couch talking to two blonde girls. He's way too fucked up, and he's leaning into them with a real creepy grin. I am sure he is throwing the weirdest lines at them just trying to freak them out, as he does. One of the girls is making such a weirded out face that I crack up. I try to sneak up to them to take a picture, but they notice me. He waves me over and introduces me, so I sit down on the other side of them. There is one really sexy girl with a perfect hot little body, and one that is a bit chubbier but with a cute face. I talk to the hot one, just doing the friendly "where you from what you do", being nice and smiling. It's my buddy's girls after all, so I'm holding back. Still, she's giving me smiles and a very interested vibe in general.

My buddy gets up after a short while and convinces them to go dancing with him. They look at each other with doubtful eyes, but to my surprise decide to follow him on the dancefloor. I let them go off pretending to read something on my phone so he can work on them alone, because I've noticed that they are more into me than into him. I join everybody on the dancefloor, but dance with my friends rather than the girls. There are about twenty people I know, so I am constantly high-fiving, vibing and hugging with people anyway. My buddy is trying to work on the chicks, but it is clear that they are not into him. He's simply too fucked up. It's a pity, the man's got game and exceptional charm, but he likes getting fucked up more than getting the girls. Oh well.

At one point, I am dancing close to them and they both turn their attention onto me like I'm a homing beacon. They both start to touch my body, running their hands over my chest and abs. I tell them that they are treating me like a piece of meat, and they tell me that's right. It's obviously very, very on. Somebody takes a picture of the three of us arm in arm, and as we're getting out of the pose, I lean into the sexy one and whisper into her ear that she smells good. Then I smile and start dancing with somebody else and lose them out of focus. When I see the sexy one again a few minutes later, she is without her chubby friend. I grab her and pull her towards me.

Me: "Hey, did your friend leave you alone?"

Her: "Yeah…"

Me: "Don't you think it is dangerous to leave you alone here with us?"

She smiles and it is blatantly obvious that I should stop spilling flirty lines, so I kiss her. She has sexy lips and is a good kisser. As I pull away, she says:

Her: "Such great lips!"

We dance some more, kiss some more, and the other girl joins us again. For the next quarter hour or so, I alternate between dancing with them and my friends and kissing her. I find out that they are on a vacation and have a hotel room in this hotel. Perfect logistics. After one kiss, I whisper in her ear:

Me: "If you keep kissing me like this, I'll have to take you to your room"


She just smiles coyly. The deal is sealed. The only issue is her friend who's staying in the room too, and as the party is heading towards its end, she tells me we have to find a man for her too. Naughty as I am, my immediate reaction to that is this:

Me: "Hmmm, well… do you girls share your men?"

She lights up and then motions for me to kiss the other one. I pull her in, but she's slightly hesitant, looking at my girl for approval. After a little back and forth, I kiss her. From there on, I am dancing with both of them in my arms and making out with them, alternating. Obviously, I am getting all sorts of looks and thumbs up from people around us and our friends. I stay very chilled and smily and keep the vibe going. Then I blow it.

Me: "Have you girls ever tried a three-way kiss?"

Them: "No"

Me: "Want to try it out?"

They look at each other with very doubtful eyes, and then deny. I tell them that's okay, and go back to the former modus operandum. But as I am kissing the chubby one, she stops me and tells me to go kiss the other chick. I oblige and chubby slowly removes herself from my immediate vicinity. We start walking towards the exit, and the girls open a group of German guys. I stay in the conversation politely for some minutes and then pull the sexy one away and walk her to the elevator. We take the elevator to her floor and walk towards her room. I wall-slam her and make out a bit more, then we go to the room.

Inside, we are on the bed and naked quite quickly. I am just starting to finger her when her friend opens the door. A funny awkward situation ensues as she comes in to get something and we're both naked. She's with a bunch of people, so I drop the idea of involving her. When she's gone, I immediately go back to where we were. I put my middle finger inside of this sexy scandinavian beauty.

Her: "Oh my god, you are so good!"

She is ridiculously wet, and moaning in my ear. My only problem is that my cock is not yet reacting despite her stroking it furiously. Not surprising, given the coctail of poisons I've put in my body throughout the last few days and hours. I tell her it's the booze and just keep going. I add the ringfinger to practice the spiderman technique that I have recently managed to make work for the first time. She is going crazy, and a few minutes later I feel a stream of hot liquid over my hand. Now that is doing it for me. I'm hard.


Her: "I want you inside me!"


I put on a condom and start fucking her. The sex is great and she is going crazy. I throw her in every position I like, but I can't get myself to cum. After half an hour or so, I pull out because I am sweating all over and out of breath. She starts cuddling up to me and we have a really sweet intimate vibe. Her English is kinda broken in a cute kind of way. I ask her a few questions about herself, and find out that she had not been comfortable with the threesome idea, but her friend had already been in a threesome. I also tell her that me not cumming was due to the booze and not her fault. I am being really nice and reassuring.

Me: "You know you have a really sexy body"
Her: "You too…. you're like a sex god!"

I thank her and start playing with her again. I make her squirt another time, more intensely, and then fuck her a second time still without cumming. Then I tell her I have to leave because I am leaving the city. She accepts, but as I am walking out the door tries to pull me back in. She looks like she's in a trance. She's absolutely blown away.

In the cab on the way home, I am thinking about the first report I wrote when I came to this city. I had felt like a small fish in a big pond. Six months later, I am living the life of my dreams. Just a few days ago, I've made out with a chick in the middle of a restaurant with all her friends sitting at her table watching (that one only didn't pan out because of logistics). One of my chicks took me to a burlesque show in a cabaret, to a fancy dinner and then to a hotel to fuck the shit out of me, and paid for it all just to say goodbye to me properly. Girls and guys come up to me to tell me they're impressed with how much I pull. One of my natural friends just told me he thinks he'll never get to my level. My sexual confidence has skyrocketed and it's all so deeply rooted that I feel like it vibrates from me from a very calm place. In short, it feels like it's finally clicked and I don't need to "do" anything. I've "made it".

I arrive at my friend's place for the last party, where I am received with a standing ovation. It's the most decadent party ever, but I'll spare you the details because I don't want to endorse our behaviour. In the early morning, my two best buddies bring me to the airport dressed up in suits and looking like drugged up pimps. It's a wild, crazy and worthy goodbye.

I am going to miss this place.

________________


Some points:

- part of this pull was due to my body. I've worked out a lot, and am in great shape. When I saw myself in other's people's sunglasses, I couldn't help but think "God I am sexy". These girls were all over me immediately because they liked my body. I can't blame them.

- I think I should have escalated more smoothly to get the threesome. I pushed too hard for a threeway kiss in public because I had one of those a few months ago and found it funny. That was miscalibrated. Instead I should have isolated them together and carefully escalated whilst keeping them both comfortable.


That's it. Hope you liked it, leave a comment if you found this interesting or inspiring, or if you didn't!

________________

I've just come home from a week full of sex with the hottest girl I've ever been with. It's the last few days in this city before I move on to new adventures. One of my chicks says she wants to kidnap me for one last night. I give her an evening that suits me. She lives outside of the city, and I sleep on a friend's couch, so I am wondering what logistics she will come up with. She gives me no indications of her plans and instead just picks me up and drives me to a cabaret. The burlesque show is artsy and sexy and spiked with glimpses of really nice titties. She asks me which one of the performers I would most like to fuck and I have a hard time deciding. She then drives me to a nice Thai restaurant and from there to a very chic hotel in the centre of town. She pays for everything. At the hotel, she throws half a can of beer over my naked body, blindfolds me and whispers:

Her: "And now I will rape you!"

We have some really wild and hot sex throughout the night and in the morning. We fuck on the balcony and in the shower. Then she pays for my breakfast and we say our goodbyes. I join my friends who are chilling on the beach, and we start drinking to launch the celebration of my last few days in town. These guys are legends. Every conversation is loaded with brilliant puns and highly offensive jokes.

 

[mist]

on reread number idek

this shit still fire

 

[0---]

Ahahaha thanks my man.


That gives me motivation to maybe post the rest lol

 

[Skills]

Ahahaha thanks my man.


That gives me motivation to maybe post the rest lol

0 guys in private keep asking me about your ltr (like i know just lol) you should write a post on ltr eventually..... You been going strong for almost 10 years with the one you have...