- Joined
- Jul 31, 2017
- Messages
- 10
Hi all,
Wasn't completely sure where to post this as it is a "social life" issue as much as it is a "girl getting" issue, but I'm sure it's one that many novices in social skills as well as girl skills experience. I bring up the subject because to a socially inexperienced guy (like myself), it can be a crippling phenomenon. It's a mysterious phenomenon that catches you when you least expect it, and due to its mysterious nature it can be difficult to understand why/how it happens. Hopefully others who have experienced (and preferably conquered it) can weight in and share their knowledge, all to the benefit and enlightenment of men who are fighting to improve themselves socially. Without further ado;
THE "ZERO CONFIDENCE" SOCIAL PHENOMENON
I'm sure many have had this experience at least once. You're about to go to a social event, say a small outing with new friends you've just met, or people you want to become friends with. They're cool people in your eyes, so you want to make a good impression. You're feeling just a tad nervous as you go in, a bit too introverted, and your mind is somewhere else, but you tell yourself you'll go in rock it; you'll immediately start talking, acting cool, and everyone will love you.
Then, you take the plunge.
You immediately give a very cool and relaxed "hey, what's up" to the first few people you see. They say hi back, and immediately get back to their conversations. You sit down in an empty seat, and start listening to them talk. They're laughing with each other, vibing great, and you hope to get into the flow with them. For a while, you just sit there without saying much, trying to find a way to get into the conversation. But no opportunity seems to pop up. And you're just silent, awkwardly laughing along when they laugh, whether or not you really understand what's going on.
Then suddenly, at some point along the way, you notice that dreadful feeling—your confidence is gone. Suddenly, all the social strength you ever knew has abandoned you.
When ever someone asks you a question, you stammer out a response in a weak voice, hoping to turn it into more conversation, but it doesn't work. You're just sitting there, feeling weak, awkward, and extremely un manly. Maybe you even start humming because—well, you don't know, you just want to feel those dead vocal chords vibrate.
This isn't the normal you. The normal you is at least decently confident in social situations. Sometimes you can be a bit badass and tease people, but point is, you're a cool guy. Or so you think. But for some reason, you've been unsocial during the entire duration of the event, and you can't "flip the switch" inside you, due to the "precedent" that's been set thus far.
So why in the world does this happen? And more importantly, how can you avoid it? That is the question I hope we can collectively answer here on the GC boards.
I have observed that the ZCSP (as I will now call it) occurs more frequently in socially inexperienced dudes. The more experienced you are, the less zcsp hits you (maybe never!). Is this just one of those weaknesses that melt away with experience, long term?
Another observation: it often happens after you've been lazy and have done nothing socially the entire day. Maybe you've jerked it off once or twice at home (btw, does this really deplete your testosterone?). I.e., you've got zero "social momentum for the day"
Other than that, can anyone share how do conquer zcsp, both in the moment that it happens, and long term avoidance? Does it boil down to "gain social experience", or "don't jerk off before"? Let's talk about this a bit y'all
Wasn't completely sure where to post this as it is a "social life" issue as much as it is a "girl getting" issue, but I'm sure it's one that many novices in social skills as well as girl skills experience. I bring up the subject because to a socially inexperienced guy (like myself), it can be a crippling phenomenon. It's a mysterious phenomenon that catches you when you least expect it, and due to its mysterious nature it can be difficult to understand why/how it happens. Hopefully others who have experienced (and preferably conquered it) can weight in and share their knowledge, all to the benefit and enlightenment of men who are fighting to improve themselves socially. Without further ado;
THE "ZERO CONFIDENCE" SOCIAL PHENOMENON
I'm sure many have had this experience at least once. You're about to go to a social event, say a small outing with new friends you've just met, or people you want to become friends with. They're cool people in your eyes, so you want to make a good impression. You're feeling just a tad nervous as you go in, a bit too introverted, and your mind is somewhere else, but you tell yourself you'll go in rock it; you'll immediately start talking, acting cool, and everyone will love you.
Then, you take the plunge.
You immediately give a very cool and relaxed "hey, what's up" to the first few people you see. They say hi back, and immediately get back to their conversations. You sit down in an empty seat, and start listening to them talk. They're laughing with each other, vibing great, and you hope to get into the flow with them. For a while, you just sit there without saying much, trying to find a way to get into the conversation. But no opportunity seems to pop up. And you're just silent, awkwardly laughing along when they laugh, whether or not you really understand what's going on.
Then suddenly, at some point along the way, you notice that dreadful feeling—your confidence is gone. Suddenly, all the social strength you ever knew has abandoned you.
When ever someone asks you a question, you stammer out a response in a weak voice, hoping to turn it into more conversation, but it doesn't work. You're just sitting there, feeling weak, awkward, and extremely un manly. Maybe you even start humming because—well, you don't know, you just want to feel those dead vocal chords vibrate.
This isn't the normal you. The normal you is at least decently confident in social situations. Sometimes you can be a bit badass and tease people, but point is, you're a cool guy. Or so you think. But for some reason, you've been unsocial during the entire duration of the event, and you can't "flip the switch" inside you, due to the "precedent" that's been set thus far.
So why in the world does this happen? And more importantly, how can you avoid it? That is the question I hope we can collectively answer here on the GC boards.
I have observed that the ZCSP (as I will now call it) occurs more frequently in socially inexperienced dudes. The more experienced you are, the less zcsp hits you (maybe never!). Is this just one of those weaknesses that melt away with experience, long term?
Another observation: it often happens after you've been lazy and have done nothing socially the entire day. Maybe you've jerked it off once or twice at home (btw, does this really deplete your testosterone?). I.e., you've got zero "social momentum for the day"
Other than that, can anyone share how do conquer zcsp, both in the moment that it happens, and long term avoidance? Does it boil down to "gain social experience", or "don't jerk off before"? Let's talk about this a bit y'all
