Hey buddy, it's great to see this thread. Congratulations with the brunettes at the grocery store and the coffee line.
I have a request to make: from now on whenever you have a conversation with a girl (both good and bad), can you try to remember the situation/context, the dialogue, her body language, and your body language then post them here similar to some of the detailed FR/LRs that you see in the reports section?
I ask for details because I want to see exactly what you're saying in what situation/context. There's no use being "perfectly comfortable talking to women" or having no approach anxiety if you're saying the wrong things at the wrong time with the wrong vibe. It doesn't matter that YOU'RE comfortable; what matters is that the girl is comfortable with you. If you are ACTUALLY being labelled as creepy by girls (and not just in your head), then there's probably a good reason for it. Girls aren't going to label you as creepy just because you approached them. Personally I'm sure I've appeared creepy a few times in my first few months of approaching because I've had a few negative receptions, but I realized my problem and fixed it. I was being too serious, so I worked on smiling and developing a jolly (but not too jolly) "devil may care" attitude. Nowadays, appearing creepy isn't too much of an issue as I've been called charming and sexy by a "top house" sorority girl and a professional model. So, as a few others have pointed out already, work on your vibe.
Vibe is REALLY important. I have a black friend who I day game with, and he'd say things that I'd never consider saying. He says things like "Hey mami, come share them potato chips with daddy here" or "Damn, you look sexy with that laptop cover" as openers. Believe it or not, both girls loved it in those two examples. The former was a black girl and the latter was your stereotypical California surfer girl. Why? Because he was smiling with a really fun and chill vibe as he said it. He also moves really fluidly...kinda hypnotizing actually. On the opposite end, there's a creepy guy in my college town who I've run into 3 times. I don't know if he attends my school, but he is the master of exuding a creepy vibe. He looks like a meth head with a near-bald cut, bright red acne(?) marks all over his face, eyes that look like he's scanning for prey or guarding against rival meth dealers or something, skinny frame with a hunched posture, and terrible choice of clothing (dirty old dull-colored polo shirt that's about 3 sizes too big with extra baggy cargo shorts and high socks). One of the times I ran into him, he went up to three girls who were eating and asked if they wanted to take a survey. Umm...no...Don't do that. The girls wrapped up the rest of their food and left.
So try practicing your facial expressions in front of a mirror. Practice smiling, not just with your lips, but also with your eyes. As you walk around campus or wherever, try to wear a slight smile. Try to exude warmth to everyone. The next time you talk to a girl, use a portion of your focus to observe yourself. Ask yourself: "Am I smiling? How is my tone of voice? Am I murmuring? How is my posture?" etc.
Having gone out to the bars before it seems like a lot of the girls come with their dates and leave with their dates.
I've noticed this weekend that sometimes a girl will bring along a guy (or more) as friendly escort. As I was walking down frat row last Friday night, I saw what I thought was a couple. But as I got closer I heard the girl saying into her phone, "Okay, I think we'll head over there. Are there hot guys there?" So even if a girl arrives with a guy, observe how she behaves. Does the guy get her full attention or are her eyes scanning the bar? Etc...
whether it is classrooms or activities, how do I get a girl to go out with me or put her in a situation where we can escalate
Classes just started for me last Thursday and this is my plan with the ONE girl who I consider attractive out of the two courses (~200 students) for which I've had lectures for so far. Sigh, the struggles of being a computer science student =/
Me: (After lecture) Hey, hold up
Her: (I don't know, whatever response she gives)
Me: We're in the same class, and I figured it'd be a good idea to make friends.
Then just a short, light conversation while maintaining a low-key sexual vibe--or just not coming off as super friendly. Then eventually plan to study together where I'll deep dive her and turn up the sexuality a few notches. You can try this approach or you can try what Anatman did
here. However, being subtle may be your best bet at this point in time.
what should be my mindset going into this?
What mindset? Well, obviously not this one:
Obviously, I am in a college town type setting and a lot of the girls here are going to be cold, rude, and just flat out mean to me.
You are walking up to girls already with the idea in your mind that they're going to be cold and rude to you. How do you expect to win like that? It's like going into your final exam thinking "the questions are gonna be hard and I'm gonna fail every one of them".
It is shit like this that makes it so difficult for me to be a lover of women. I mean one rejection is good but when you have had quite a few women act like total cunts towards you then you can't help but be an angry and bitter guy at times.
Fix up your vibe, develop game, and start seeing them as silly and cute. Most girls aren't going to act like total cunts straight off the bat. If you've had "quite a few" women receive you that way, then it's likely that you're the reason--your vibe, what you said, etc. And chill. Having your approach be rejected is only the beginning. Once you start getting better you're gonna have girls not respond to your texts, cancel dates, give you shit tests on dates, leave dates early, give you LMR, and etc. So if you can't keep your emotions in check when girls reject you, how do you expect to survive in the big picture?
I was just going to comment on something, my game has regressed! Like really, I used to be able to talk to girls with ease but ever since being shut down so hard at my current university and having gone through a lot in the past 2 years here, I haven't been talking to women much at all. I find myself not as into it and being a lot more awkward talking to women too. This was not an issue about a year or so ago but ever since I realized that women at my current college hate me (or convinced myself that back then), it has been a downward spiral. I have improved my looks (somewhat) but I do feel somewhat more awkward talking to girls at my university now.
A lot of this has to do with limiting beliefs but not about my race either. It's just that I keep hearing these girls will only go for frat boys or athletes or just high status guys which I am not.
Shut your whining.
Chatted with this one brunette (a 7 maybe?) in line for coffee (I was drowsy) and we had an interesting conversation, it was fun but yet again I was not bold enough to ask for the #, glad I didn't.
One thing you want to keep in mind is congruency. For example, if you've had an interesting but platonic conversation about plastic bottles for 10 minutes, then you try to ask for her number to set up a date, she may not respond well to that because her view of you has been "some random guy who knows about plastic bottles".
To avoid becoming the creepy guy of your campus, go out and cold approach elsewhere to improve your game while retaining your rep, if you have a car.
I also wanna say that you're not entitled to any of these girls. These girls are not obligated to respond to you the way you want them to respond just because you approached them. Even if you pulled off the best opener in the history of PUA, the girl doesn't need to give you her pussy, or a date, or even her number. Don't try to get a good response from every girl you approach, and if she isn't responding well, smile, tell her to have a nice day and exit gracefully. Don't persist so much that you end up appearing creepy and clingy. Rather than thinking "OMG this girl is so hot. How do I get this girl?", try to think along the lines of "Hmm...She's hot. Let's see how things go with her".
Good luck
