Tinder game. They don't seem to respond when I ask to meet up.

[M_Ronin]

I am getting good matches both in quantity and quality. More than half of them I dont do too bad. But when I ask them to meet up, "because ultimately thats where we can get to know each other" they don't seem to respond. I see a pattern in my interactions. One less than ideal candidate even told me how handsome I was. And even she seems hesitant. Is there a step I am missing?

Edit: FUUUCK!! Should I have asked for their numbers first? If this is the step I missed, I swear to god I am never going to believe girls are capable of logic! The things they do to fucking pussy-block themselves Man.... That less desirable girl has completely turned into a flirty schoolgirl in my WhatsApp. WTF!!! LOL

 

[JacobPalmer]

Give us some examples of an exchange, start to finish. Most likely (from what I'm guessing) you're trying to hard close when it should be a soft close. Or else you're not building enough intrigue/investment/compliance with them.

 

[M_Ronin]

Sure. Its in my native language, so have to translate.

Me:Hi
(g)irl:hi
me:whats up?
g:not much. you?
me:not bad. a little busy lately.
g:where are you from?
me:I did not expect this question hahaha
me:I am from (province), what about you?
g:I thought you were a foreigner.
gprovince)
me:yeah they always think of me as such.
me:do you really speak Norwegian?
g:yes
me:did the norwegian fishermen teach you?
g:kinda
me:well... Norway is a cool Country, never been there but my aunt told me.
me:I like to travel and meet new people. Every place has it's own charm.
me:...teaches you something new.
me:Are you the travelling type or do you prefer to stay at the same place?
g:I like travelling.
me:You speak in such detail, one can not help but wonder for more.
me:hahaha
g:hahaha
g:what had your aunt done in Norway?
me:travelled around.
me:toured around in Copenhagen, then went back to Sweden.
me:btw, I am at (province), where do you stay?
g:Me too.
me:that's great.
me:then I propose a meet-up. After all we can chat here all we want, but it is in the battlefield where everyone shows their mettle.
g:yess would be nice
me:cool
me:you are a student right?
g:yess
g:you
me:not me, but my schedule is flexible.
me:we might meet at weekend, or within weekdays
me:Is there anything that occupies you?
g:I attend a bd tomorrow night thats all.
me:bd?
g:birth day
me: oh ok
me:it could be sunday then.
me:lets exchange numbers, it would be easier.
me:mine's ###
g:do you use instagram?
me:I do have an account, but cant say I'm using it.
me:I am not a social media person. I dont know why. It aint for me.
me:you may still add it if you like #@$€£¥₩
me:but I've no posts to my name. its a quite boring profile.
me:dont say I didnt warn you
g:its not important I asked casually
me: ok ! My offer to date was not asked casually. I will be available this week at monday, tuesday and thursday night. In a time suitable for you, we may meet in (place)for coffees.
g:tuesday or thursday maybe.
me:lets call it tuesday then. around 6 pm, at .... in front of Starbucks?
g:my class ends at
me:8 then?
me:I mean you could specify a time that suits you =)

Now that I look at it, this is a little embarassing to look at. But still, shoot.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Yeah There's a lot going on here....it starts off really dull. There's no intrigue. You overinvest in places. and near the end you can see the girl is changing her mind in her responses back to you. And parts of it are way too gamey. So I can see why she doesn't want to meet up.

Biggest thing I can advise right now is to keep investment levels in check. Make sure you're not writing too much more than her all the time.

 

[Cody Lyans]

Girls are not logic followers bro, nonono
Logic to girls is like girls wearing a sumo suit to guys, it just doesn't let them enjoy feelings

You always have to streamline things so they can experience unhindered feelings
Think of it like you are a host at a party, you have got to help things be smooth and cool n fun
Don't fish for agreement with girls, be mindful that flaking is normal, and be aware not to bring your own frustration into it

Be cool about these little things, don't expect it to be easy. If life were easy no girl would shave her legs and pits
Same for guys but we don't shave our pits we host a girls feels and experience

Now to arrange a meet ask for details, get off Twitter to the phone and whatsapp etc, and then pitch meets spontaneous when she seems to have time, like, she's responding to texts like it's a mobile game, you ask what she's up to and if she's free pitch the meet right now lol

BTW don't give your number like u did
Build a pleasure spike and at the peak of her compliance ask for hers

To get numbers remember this formula
High in feelings + complying automatically = pitch for her number
She will give it to get back to feeling good uninterrupted

 

[M_Ronin]

Thanks a lot Cody. Will do. After some experience, I have learned to pay attention to see what she responds to. But I still dont know of a good way to break the ice immediately after saying hi.

 

[POB]

There are three elements you must have when texting on apps:
1) intrigue
2) arousal
3) humor

I personally have it like this:
Intrigue (20%)
Arousal (30%)
Humor (10%)

The other 40% are bland stuff you need to get out of the way ASAP so you can move it to date pitching when buying temperature is high; things like logistics (where she lives, when she's free) and personal stuff women want to know about you (if you have kids, drinking habits, hobbies, what you doing in the app, etc, etc).

Examples:

OPENERS FOR TINDER (OR SIMILAR SWIPING APPS):
- Mmmm, you look like trouble!
- Stop doing that!
- Oh no, not again!
- Let's stop it right here...it will never work between us!
- Not fair what you are doing here missy!

(see how those openers are playful and create intrigue at the same time?)

QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD BE ASKING HER DURING THE CONVO (WHEN YOU SEE "/" IT'S BECAUSE IT'S A SEPARATE TEXT):
- But tell me something...what brought you here to the app? Did you have any good experiences so far?
- Like, on a 1 to 10 scale, how happy are you with your life now? (credits BD)
- So, gotta ask you (insert her name to make it personal)...what trait, that does not relate to your physical appearance, makes you an awesome person? / Like something that you have and everybody compliments and takes notice. / I have an idea, but I want to hear it from you first!
- In your opinion, what makes someone a sexy person? / It doesn't have to be necessarily a man....it could be a friend or some celebrity that you admire.
- What do you like most: red or white wine? (credits COCPORN) *they always answer red, so you can proceed to talk about how people that like red wine are more fiery and sexy
- If money and time were not a issue, what place would you like to visit?? / Also would you go there alone, or would you take someone with you?

DATE PITCHING AND CLOSING:
- Look, you seem like a very interesting and fun woman! / I'd like to find time on our schedule for a meeting. / It could be something simple, on a quiet place, just to sit, talk and have some laughs while we drink something tasty.
(let she reply with a yes)
- At the moment I have X and X day available. / Usually my days are busy from X to X hour, so I have after X hour free. / Lemme know what you think about it so we can figure out a time and a place.

Also check this:
https://realpob.wordpress.com/2017/08/01/online-is-a-numbers-game/

This:
https://realpob.wordpress.com/2019/09/09/online-game-the-3-bounce-technique-practical-example/

and this:
https://realpob.wordpress.com/2017/...tal-to-your-game-simple-ways-to-balance-that/

Hope it helped.

~POB

 

[POB]

One other thing...you need to spice a bit the bland mandatory questions to stand out from the crowd.

Example:

Her: "Where do you live?"
POB: "Me??
I live inside your heart, of course!!!
Take a minute to check it now and you're going to find me there!
Just kidding, I live at X...do you know where it is?"

Her: "So, what do you do for a living?"
POB: I'm an architect.
But I also do some gigs as a male dancer on my spare time!
Business is booming.... but shooo, don't tell anyone! It's gonna be out little secret ok?!
Just kidding, how about you?

 

[JacobPalmer]

One other thing...you need to spice a bit the bland mandatory questions to stand out from the crowd.

Example:

Her: "Where do you live?"
POB: "Me??
I live inside your heart, of course!!!
Take a minute to check it now and you're going to find me there!
Just kidding, I live at X...do you know where it is?"

Her: "So, what do you do for a living?"
POB: I'm an architect.
But I also do some gigs as a male dancer on my spare time!
Business is booming.... but shooo, don't tell anyone! It's gonna be out little secret ok?!
Just kidding, how about you?

Agree that you need to spice up the bland mandatory questions, but disagree on your examples here. They are way too gamey/tryhard, and you run a big risk of coming across as an entertainer. Better answers would be:

1. I'm not giving you my exact address stalker. But I live close to XYZ, do you know where that is?
2. I'm an architect, and moonlight as an erotic male dancer. You?

Those get the same point across, and it give her space to ask questions. Because if you keep while she may find your responses funny, it's not authentic, and if you're not authentic, she won't want to meet up.

Like, if things were reversed, and a girl said this to me, I'd just start thinking there's something wrong with her, like she's trying really hard to be funny.

 

[M_Ronin]

How do you even build arousal over text?

 

[JacobPalmer]

How do you even build arousal over text?

By building intrigue, and eventually building up to sexting if you can. It's not the best example, but go look at my last LR. It's a snippet of what calibrated sexting is like once you're there.

 

[Skills]

How do you even build arousal over text?

it is very subtly and very powerful, cause she will project stuff on to you... here

 

[JacobPalmer]

it is very subtly and very powerful, cause she will project stuff on to you... here

Yeah this is pretty good. Some parts are a bit cheesy but overall a good read. Thanks for posting that.

 

[M_Ronin]

Thats a great article skills. I appreciate that. Will check your other stuff later as well. Your site looks cool.

I have had many other chatting opportunities since, but this one I would like to see your commentary on. This is a 28 year old chick (1 year older than me). She looked like a very cute and playful girl from the pictures. She was wearing circle shaped glasses that reminded me of another cute and playful girl I dated once.

Me: Hi
(g): Hi
me: So whats up?
g: oh its the same.
g: you?
me: same for me too.
g: (girls dont usually give me smile face this further in the interaction)
me: I've had a nice walk and came home. the weather is finally getting colder.
g: well done to you.
me: haha
me: I am at (province), this place dont get cold usually. Where are you at?
g: (province)
me: ooh thats a little far.
g:
g: yeah right
me: let me say from the start, this thing might not work so easily (smirking smiley)
g: what thing (laughing with tears smiley)
me: the thing (it was referencing a different movie in my language)
g: the thing
g: I dont understand.
me: understand what?
g: the thing.
me: Oh its easy. Its not really that complicated. Honest. there is this Kurt Russell guy. They do...
g: (triple laughing with tears smiley)
me: Well let me tell you what. Your conversation is really sweet. We can continue talking through WhatsApp if you like.
g: I'm sorry but no.
me: Ok. Alright.
-after a while-
me: So Tease City then, you say?
me: You still have an interesting and impish personality though.
g: What do you mean Tease City
g: What kind of a personality is impish?
g: I just checked out it means playful
g: Yes a little.
me: Well it shows through your eyes.
me: That sounds overly romantic when I say it like that, but one begins to recognize these things after a while.
g:
-after a while-
me: Do you always chuckle at everything?
g: Why not its good to chuckle
me: Not that I complain
g:
me: So how did you end up here?
g: I will be leaving
me:Me too
me: I came here for friendship but everyone is so horny.
g: (triple laughing with tears smiley)
g: This place is not suited for friendship
g: I have read from some article and was curious
g: Wanted to check out
me: How would you rate it out of 5? Think of me as play store
g: I dont really understand
g: This is not a serious place
g: from my experience 0
g: maybe its just me
me: Am I included in this 0?
me: What impudence!
g: No dont think like that
g: I can chat with some rare people
me: Every runner of the mill is here right?
me: Let me also tell you one of my stories
g: okay
me: Between you and me
me: Just due to curiosity, I created a girl account
me: On tinder
me: For 1-2 days for funzies
me: I wish I hadnt hahaha
g: (double laughing with tears smiley)
g: are you serious
me: Is there not a single decent guy
g: what for?
me: I did not even have a profile photo
g:
g: I'm afraid there are a lot of people like that
me: I have seen how lame men can be full front
g: (willfully blind monkey smiley)
g: and I shared many photos )
me: Yeah I can only imagine what you suffered through
me: I understand women now hahaha
me: which day of yours?
g: my second day
g: I dont answer everyone If they write something bad I dont read anyway
me: I see. So you will be leaving?
g: I will
me: Then throw your number at least. Its fun to chat.
g: I dont give numbers
g: -_-
me: I like you dammit
g: (double laughing with tears smiley)
me: There was no one I chatted like this.
g: There will be
me: You are weird
g: I didnt come here to meet
g: I am really sorry
me: Fatal error
g: -_
me: ok fine! leave!
g: good night
me: I am cross
g: Dont do that. You dont know me anyway )
me: I'm not talking to you
g:
g: Good night
me: (willfully deaf monkey smiley) I dont hear youu
g: Ok as you wish
me: No as you wish
g:
me: (smirking smiley)

Then I went to sleep, thinking she would eventually want to continue the fun and maybe write her number. I've had a dream where I was on the elevator with this girl, where the elevator stopped and she made a move to leave. But I cut her off with my hand suddenly leaning against the wall. She coyishly protested but I began making out with her and she was up for it. I woke up with a statuesquely erect member. Only to see we were unmatched. I dont even feel rejected. Just mildly sad. I think we would be a good match. What exactly to make of this? Maybe those were her old pictures and she didnt want to embarass herself or something? One of my pictures on tinder basically scream player I think (I have a very annoyed look wearing a cowboy hat with long hair locks falling out on two sides of my face. and I might have a rather gentlemanly chad face)

 

[M_Ronin]

There was also a match after this one. I think I fucked it up pretty bad and she unmatched me. So I will have to recite from my memory.

Matched from 1500 kilometers far (0_0 wtf). She is from Russia, 19 years old. She has a both cute and sexy face that puts a Victoria's Secret model to shame. Just throwing this out here, because maybe I should have been more sexual instead.

Me: Hi
G: hey
Me: Where are you from?
G: Russia
Me: I mean you're cute, but I don't see this working out
G: how are u )
Me: I'm fine. You?
G: Good.
Me: So what are you looking for on tinder?
G: I am looking for communication. (I've had no idea what to say after this. Should have planned better)
Me: Ok. What have you been up to lately?
G: I work
Me: That's interesting... Tell me more. (You are allowed to lynch me for this)
Me: Damn. That was rude of me.
Me: We can chat, but you need to come out to play.
Me: *knock knock

Then she unmatched me haaaahahaha. I fucked up Real bad this one. I am beginning to see how every girl is looking for something else. Maybe some want to be pampered, some want to be comforted and some just want to chase a guy from the get go (this one for another time). I am thinking, maybe beautiful Russian girls are confident with their beauty, so more overtly sexual would be a better approach? Maybe she just wanted to be told how gorgeous she is and I wasted her time with irrelevant stuff? Not saying I would smash since logistics would be impossible for now. But my plan was to get her number and after some chatting time, trying to reconnect with her at a later time. Try to re-ignite, and try my luck for a meet up if stars would align. Uphill battle nonetheless but I am always willing to take a shot

Anyway, I wanted to share both my high and low. I'm sure you brilliant guys have a lot to teach me from both experiences.

 

[POB]

Agree that you need to spice up the bland mandatory questions, but disagree on your examples here. They are way too gamey/tryhard, and you run a big risk of coming across as an entertainer.

My guess is that we come from different regions. Over here it works with that little "over the top" stuff. Mind you that I'm always telling them I'm kidding after I say it (I've had chicks actually believing it and asking me to perform on bachelorette parties for their friends LOL).

We are not in disagreement here....you can adapt it and tone it up or down according to location and personality. Just wanted to give the OP some ideas.

 

[JacobPalmer]

My guess is that we come from different regions. Over here it works with that little "over the top" stuff. Mind you that I'm always telling them I'm kidding after I say it (I've had chicks actually believing it and asking me to perform on bachelorette parties for their friends LOL).

We are not in disagreement here....you can adapt it and tone it up or down according to location and personality. Just wanted to give the OP some ideas.

Fair enough! Good point about the different regions. As you're in south america I can see that working well.

 

[M_Ronin]

My guess is that we come from different regions. Over here it works with that little "over the top" stuff. Mind you that I'm always telling them I'm kidding after I say it (I've had chicks actually believing it and asking me to perform on bachelorette parties for their friends LOL).

We are not in disagreement here....you can adapt it and tone it up or down according to location and personality. Just wanted to give the OP some ideas.

*Sigh I wish I was living in your culture. I think girls in my area require immense amount of comfort game, but at the same time they think you are chasing them if you give them that much comfort.

 

[JacobPalmer]

*Sigh I wish I was living in your culture. I think girls in my area require immense amount of comfort game, but at the same time they think you are chasing them if you give them that much comfort.

Yeah, definitely a catch 22.