So i am good looking enough for me to get matches on tinder daily from really attractive women but man I can’t get em out to save my life. I’ve gotten numbers but they flake so clearly my game is off. I’ve thought about just stopping tinder altogether cuz my game needs work itself but yeah, any thoughts?
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jujux15 said:
Either that, or they are simply time wasters enjoying the attention. You won't know which anyway. Move on to the next one if they keep stalling.
What does your process look like from the second you match until you set up a date?
So it’s match comment on something that stands out in a pic or bio or whatever. Get them to talk about themselves, hobbies etc and I tend to talk with them about something I can hold a convo in like music or whatever. From there I get there number, then I just build more comfort ability and go out with them. There are periods of time where it works well for me and other times where it doesn’t like if the girl has no bio it’s hard for me to start up a convo. I’ve had a few instances where I get the number set up a date and last minute I get hit with the “oh sorry, something came up at work”. I chalk those up to me not making them comfortable enough with me.Ajay said:
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Sounds like you might be waiting a bit too long to pull the trigger.
After you have sent about 5 messages and she has sent 5 messages you need to be getting into the date. There are lots of different ways to do this, but my favorite way's to just ask if they like blank (I use smoothies as an example, but you can use anything). This is called seeding. You're planting the idea of a date in her mind before you actually ask her out, helps ease her into it a little bit
This also allows women who aren't actually interested an easy way out of the conversation "No, I hate smoothies" = next
Though there are women who won't like what you offer as a date option, feel free to try a backup option "Lol you may be a unicorn then!" a fluff message or two maximum, start talking about a nice tea place or coffee place or whatever else (I don't do bars but lots of guys have success using them as a first date, just make sure that it's not a crowded party place, you want to be able to connect on the first date after all). Basically just start the seeding process over again
She says she does indeed like smoothies. Awesome, have you ever been to blank?
Doesn't matter if they say yes or no. "You haven't? We should fix that, when are you free?" has worked for me a lot. But another option that I like that I got from another forum member: "You haven't? We should fix that, what's your number and we'll set it up" (and then text her: a quick ice breaker text, like hey! It's blank and then immediately move into setting up the date after her response)
Or
"You have? Then you know how great it is, when are you free?" and etc.
Just from skimming your thread, sounds like you're talking waaaaayyy too much. Get your process nailed down and you should see better results.
After you have sent about 5 messages and she has sent 5 messages you need to be getting into the date. There are lots of different ways to do this, but my favorite way's to just ask if they like blank (I use smoothies as an example, but you can use anything). This is called seeding. You're planting the idea of a date in her mind before you actually ask her out, helps ease her into it a little bit
This also allows women who aren't actually interested an easy way out of the conversation "No, I hate smoothies" = next
Though there are women who won't like what you offer as a date option, feel free to try a backup option "Lol you may be a unicorn then!" a fluff message or two maximum, start talking about a nice tea place or coffee place or whatever else (I don't do bars but lots of guys have success using them as a first date, just make sure that it's not a crowded party place, you want to be able to connect on the first date after all). Basically just start the seeding process over again
She says she does indeed like smoothies. Awesome, have you ever been to blank?
Doesn't matter if they say yes or no. "You haven't? We should fix that, when are you free?" has worked for me a lot. But another option that I like that I got from another forum member: "You haven't? We should fix that, what's your number and we'll set it up" (and then text her: a quick ice breaker text, like hey! It's blank and then immediately move into setting up the date after her response)
Or
"You have? Then you know how great it is, when are you free?" and etc.
Just from skimming your thread, sounds like you're talking waaaaayyy too much. Get your process nailed down and you should see better results.
Yeah apparently I am moving slow , and I thought I moved fast wow. So I generally do get their numbers quickly like within 5 messages but I suppose where I mess up is not setting up the date quickly huh? and say I set it up quick, do you tend to talk to them after or just wait for the date? My issue is say I know my date with this girl in 5 days I feel inclined to talk to her until then here and there. If I’ve seen her often I talk less though, what do you think?Regal Tiger said:
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jujux15 said:
Depends on how far out the date is, but I always text the day of the date. Some people say that you shouldn't do this because it makes you look weak (are we still on for today?) and others don't want to waste time. I can kind of see the point of the guys who say it's weak, so I came up with this instead:
--Text her the day of the date what you'll be wearing.
Example: Hey blank, heading out in a few minutes, I'll be wearing a red shirt and black jeans so you can find me easier
If she doesn't text you anything back, she's probably going to flake. If she texts you back anything that isn't a cancellation, then she'll be there. This makes it so that you don't get the possible looking weak outlook (though if a girl thinks that then I wouldn't want her, but different strokes). This also gives her an easy way out if she doesn't want to show up, so you will sometimes have a girl cancel on you for whatever reason. A good portion of those cancellations will set up another date with you.
And if she doesn't even bother to text you anything back then you might as well not even go. Not once have I ever not gotten a text back and yet she still showed up. Not once have I not gotten a text back and then later on in the day gotten a 'where are you?' text. Thus far, it's pretty damn full proof in my experiences.
As for texting her before the date itself: depends on the girl and depends on how far out the date is. If she seems nervous, I'll text her more to help with attainability and comfort. If you're significantly older than a girl, like a guy in his 30's or 40's dating chicks in their 20's you'll want to adopt this approach as a default.
If the date is more than a few days out I'll text something in between, usually just a meme or something because I don't like getting into conversations over text. Just lets her know that yes I'm still going to show up and keep her out of auto-rejection. Because if you don't text her at all, and your date isn't set up until 4-5 days later then she will get pissy. It's only when you've been together a few times that you can back off on the texting.
No matter what though, I'll try to space out my texting. If the date is in 4 days then I'll text her on day number 2. That way I'm not texting her everyday but I still show that I care, if only a little bit. Remember, when you get good at this, you're going to go on far more dates than she ever will with online dating. This means that it's going to be a little weird for her (same applies during day game).
If the date is the next day or even the day after, I'll just stick to the day of text.
If she texts me before then I'll try to be warm, send a few fluff messages here and there and etc. But I will not allow her to drag me into a conversation UNLESS
1) I think that she won't leave me alone otherwise and will flake out on me if I don't talk to her a little bit
AND
2) I feel like I can steer the conversation towards sexting
Getting nudes from women before a date is high risk high rewards on its own, but if a woman is that keen on you, you have to do something to keep her from auto-rejecting while still getting investment from her. Nudes are a way to walk the line a little bit. Though you will still have some women flake on you if they give you nudes. Nudes aren't the goal before a first date, they're like a safety net of "she won't leave me alone and I don't want to look like a bitch or a complete asshole so here's the middle ground". On sexting though, you want to stay away from talking about what you will do to her. Instead, talk to her about what you would do to her if she were there, small yet important difference in wording
Telling her what you will do to her puts too much pressure on her before the date, and she will cancel a lot of times. Telling her what you would like to do to her is a little more of a grey area, there's not as much pressure there. Plus, if you get nudes before a date, you're getting laid. For that reason, there are quite a few guys out there that I used to know of that wouldn't go on a date with a girl unless she sent them nudes before hand. But again, high-risk high-reward and they had to work a little harder than I did in the beginning (but probably saved more time since all they wanted was sex)
I just dislike phone calls haha like i dont like when people call me and I dont ever call unless they are my gf. I haven't had any issues with that aspect of it thus far. I have noticed that most of my older friends also like calling whereas kids around my age (24) tend not too.jetli123 said: