Tinder Game

[BigPapa]

recently I discovered that I enjoy after a hard day at work to see girl profiles on tinder , you know swapping right and left , helps me relax a little bit

my question is this one though , I do not have problems with matching with at least cute girls , but the problem is that once I send a message nothing happens . Sure it is a big ego boost matching with no problems with above average girls , but it also sucks when they do not say anything back .

I usually open them with something from their bio , or just say something funny , or sometimes with a compliment , or sometimes I just say what I am doing and ask her back how her day looks like .I experimented quite a bit on This and nothing really gives any constant results .

the only one that has results in most of the cases is a stupid thing that I say “ do you know how much force is needed to turn olives in extra virgin oil ? “ then usually she says “no. How much ? “ and I just say “ have no clue either , anyhow just wanted to say hi “ and then nothing happens

I do not think is a fundamentals problem , since I get constant matches , but maybe something is wrong with my approach . I do also understand that women use it as a validation tool , but in the same time not really have any good results after the match makes me think that is something wrong with my approach .

what experience you guys have with this ? Did you ever experienced something similar with what I described ?

 

[ElderPrice]

Not experienced with tinder. Just food for thought: she probably has 50 other matches texting her about her profile, or asking about her day, or a compliment, or anything standard like that... so you being guy #51 to message her something like that will be boring to her. Your olive oil example seems to possibly confirm that you'll get responses when you text something truly unusual, standing out from the crowd. But obviously you can't keep that going forever and it won't lead to the goal you want.

If I were in your position, I would try this: I would confidently get to the point. You two matched so you both obviously think each other is cute. It's tinder so you're both probably looking for quick sex. Don't hide that frame or position by doing things like asking about her day or her bland profile, especially knowing online app users have microscopic attention spans. I think my first message would be something like this:
"Hey FirstName, I'm going to be working at a coffee shop today. Join me and let's meet." Then if she agrees, grab her number, then text her the details later. I'd try it this way so if she flakes it doesn't affect my day at all.

Again, no experience here, just my two cents on what I would try if in your position.

 

[BigPapa]

I tried also direct , but same result .

with the ones that I managed to have discussions with ,after A while they were complaining about the men on tinder like “ all they want is sex “ and other bullshit like that . I want to add though that this girls were below average most of them and I think the only reason that they were talking with me is because I was so out of the league that they just seized the chance to talk with me since I guess it Does not really happen to them so often .

The whole situation does not really make any sense to me to be frank , or maybe it is something that I am missing and someone outside the whole situation can pinpoint better what I am doing wrong

 

[BigPapa]

Update :

I was super liked , we matched , waited like 2h then messaged and nothing happened , like the rest .

dunno , for me tinder does not make any sense now ...

What are your guys thoughts ?

 

[ChefDan]

Update :

I was super liked , we matched , waited like 2h then messaged and nothing happened , like the rest .

dunno , for me tinder does not make any sense now ...

What are your guys thoughts ?

Two years of using Tindr, I've only ever gotten two girls out on dates, and they weren't very attractive. I've matched with plenty of hot girls and gotten them into conversations but they have so much leverage (every dude likes them), it's effectively impossible to get a date with them.

I've been overtly sexual ("what's your number I want to put my hands on you") and gotten a number that almost turned into a date (I went too far and then backpedaled and she lost all respect.) I'll say to girls "I am sexually superior to most" and get them to reply with "oh really?" or "mmm?" but nothing pans out from there. Even very hot girls who never responded to my other messages replied when I said stuff like "Care to be my goth GF yet, bitch?" (she replied "ew no" but we talked back and forth for weeks after that) or "Be my pet" (she called me bold.)

While I'd also like some helpful Tindr tips because it could be an incredible resource, the market is so saturated with men liking every attractive woman, that it's pretty much like playing the lottery.

Best thing IMO you could do is play the bad boy and be direct from there. This will separate you from the rest if you stand out and are direct. Most guys will try to be clever and have a conversation. I think this wastes too much time and you should just be straightforward off the bat. Take my advice with a grain of salt. I have virtually no credence when it comes to Tindr.

 

[BigPapa]

Well it is about getting a reaction First , then you move things forward .

surely what I am doing is not yielding any results so I will try to do what you said and see if I have any luck . Sounds like an interesting way of doing tinder business. Worst case scenario I will be in the same spot, so I have nothing really to loose

 

[Velasco]

I'll say to girls "I am sexually superior to most"

hahahahah my guy

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1183999098376146947

 

[cruiser]

What’s up dude

That would happen to me to. These girls just match for validation. Imagine a frat guy on tinder matches a hot girl hes gonna go for that pick up line or say let’s fuck. It’s validation for girls.

They’ve got like 100 matches a second man it’s insane. You’re competing with everyone out there. And they’re getting bombarded with messages. A girls tinder life span is 2 weeks normally.

But this is what I’ve found out from personal experience from using tinder for 2.5 years.

jan - feb is when that whole relationship season is coming to an end, but some girls are interested in meeting up.
March, April, May - i would say dead period, just cuz of weird holidays, exams, yeah
May- it explodes for matches, girls getting out of school come back home, girls move to city for internship, new job, just graduated, it’s awesome
June, July, August, - some to little success.
August September October November December-
Wowowow matches come in like crazy and girls are super responsive. It’s like it all happens at once. School starts, fall starts, people come to city for new job, people come for holidays. But December is probably the best month.

you’ve gotta change the opener,like you’ve gotta believe what you say it’s weird but the girls can sense that energy

 

[BigPapa]

I was thinking about the same thing and was afraid that I was looking for excuses haha

guess have to go more direct in my opener , it is not like I have too many things to loose

 

[cruiser]

the compliment opener never worked for me, but I think what you’re doing and commenting about their profile is good, you should try hinge, i think the girls are cuter and respond better and it works with what you’re doing, talking about their profile

 

[punisher]

Theres 4 types of tinder girls

-1: Girls who wanna fuck right away (doesnt want a chatter at all, and if they do, just a small one)
-2: Girls who want a relationship
-3: Girls who wants attention (like showing their girlfriends they have 1000+ likes from hot guys)
-4: Girls who wastes your time (theyre just chatting to many random guys to waste time)

If your going for the 1st type of girls, just go sexually aggressive while showing sexual COMPETENCE, because obviously, they would want good sex, and not fuck with guys who cant provide that.

Just text them: "wanna skip running around the bushes and get to the point? your just as fucking sexy as me and i want you on every position"

 

[Michal]

I used online apps quite extensively in a period from like 2014 to 2018. Tinder seemed best for me, okcupid did not have that many girls in my area and badoo had really poor quality of girls. My usage was like 95% Tinder, 4.9% okc, 0.1% badoo.

I always did the "pick something from her profile". Either bio, photos, pics linked from her insta. And it worked some times or ended with no response other times just like you. While it's very possible that sometimes I sent something really stupid (like "Hello X, the dog is happily smiling, it must mean you take good care of him"), I would say timing was a big factor. I got responses around 8 to 9 am, then sometimes after or lunch but generally the evenings (6pm and then like 21pm) seemed like best times.

The older I got, the less success I had tbh. Dunno why. I tried couple of times with my 2015 pics and it was not the same (most likely due to being out of their filter range). One girl told me I seem like a guy who sees lots of girls. I asked her why, but I do not remember the exact answer. Only something along the line of "you across like that". I just remember I started to be more direct with certain girls and it seemed to be better and I got a bit higher reply rate. I would argue that most people in my country do not view it as a sex app. It's more like - what you look for, you will find. I had a relationship off of that. Some quick 2nd date sex sessions. Or it took like 2 months from 1st message till 1st meet and we ended in bed on 2nd date 1 week later.

I consider it oversaturated. Timing plays a big role, you need fantastic profile nowadays, a message that catches attention and is FUN. And you need to keep it fun, I never had much success going into the "get to know each other" talk. Like I messaged her "Hi X, batman socks huh? Now I know who you root for in BvS " and she replied like 15 seconds later. Said yes, asked whether I like Superman. I said I like both. And asked why she prefers batman over superman. And never heard from her. A lot of convos ended after my 2nd message. So if you want to pick something from her profile, pic something that other guys do not pick up on, is fun but you can actually transition from it. Like of a girl has heterochromia, do not comment on that. 80% of the guys do that. 15% send hey or hi. 2% does not even message her and rest tries to be original. We hear hoe guy nowadays send hi, hey or how are you and I doubt that is the case. Everything is more competetive nowadays and guys use lots of tools to get ahead.

I had basic opener when she had absolutely nothing in her profile. Which went like Hey X, welcome to Michal's. Will you be eating or just drinks? And it got me replies in like 70% of the time. Super hot girls with 100 dicks messaging them just replied "vodka thx" or something like that. Cute ones ranged. However, I still believe that no matter how stupid your message is.. if she wants to talk and connect with you, she will reply. But she gets bombarded with lots of guys (saw a video how a 6/10 girl made herself look like a 8.5/10 in the pictures and she had like 1400 likes just in the first hour). It' a numbers game^n. The generic messages might be generic and girls can see through that, but the idea is also that it is easier to run through the convo. Because you used it couple hundred times and know all kinds of answers girls have. While mentioning her horse, sweater, snowboard.. always something unique. Probably once or twice. In that case, the subtext matters. Like that famous infamous "I see you like horses. Well it's your lucky day because you just found yourself a stallion " which is cocky and a bit sexual. While my batman socks example is more neutral and more on likes/dislikes.

So I would say experiment. Try other openers.

 

[naturalmikey]

first things first separate yourself from every other guy before the first message. i’ve made my name lucifer and had a bio “i am literally the devil and i will steal you’re fucking soul.” most recently i used my real name and my bio was “sometimes i’ll do something and think that’s so raven. other times i’ll do something and think that’s not very raven at all.”

if you’re getting matches there are two strategy i find work. one is i go really slow. that’s the strategy. i say something that relates to her profile then move slow. if she responds quickly i try to get her to meet then. this is how i have the most success. go for the number after like three messages then go for the meet.

 

[naturalmikey]

here’s an example of a conversation where i got a girl to come over. she was one of those chicks who has her cashapp on her bio.

“i just sent you one billion rupees but due to foreign exchange regulations it won’t show up until monday. you’re gonna have to take my word for it”

“haha, okay thanks”

“well the least you can do is give me your phone number now geesh. luckily i have fat stacks of indian cash”

“haha oh yeah?
470.xxx.xxxx”

then

“x it's y. i have to be honest i don't have a single rupee. i don't have a whole lot of american dollars either lol”

then a bunch of silly nonsense and she came straight over. be unique and funny and lead

 

[ulrich]

Tinder is not the place where you will find the most attractive women.
Some attractive women are active in there for the ego boost but they’re unlikely to play ball and most super-hot women you see on Tinder are ghost profiles that the app uses to keep you hooked.

The thing is that women look down a little on dating apps. So, as a girl, you have to be a little desperate, disappointed of men in your life or perhaps sex hungry to consider it to even consider it.

Online dating is great to find regular looking girls who are down to fuck. Actually is perfect to find fuck buddies.
But it’s not the place where you will find the most attractive ones unless the specific app is trending and Tinder trend is long gone.

 

[BigPapa]

Totally agree with you @uriel but sometimes I just feel the need to troll a little bit and just have fun , even though she is not as good looking as a girl I can talk in real life .

usually nowadays I only open girls that I find attractive using day game , while tinder can be used for some validation and just have a funny discussion with someone that most likely I will never meet anyway.

but this is the frustrating part , using day game most of the times I at least number close , while on tinder even though the girl is not as good looking as the ones in day game they just say nothing or they are super arrogant , and this makes me think like wtf haha

 

[Henrik]

I have had extensive success using Tinder and dating apps. I have had sex with 53 girls from dating apps. If I had 10 matches I would on average get responses from 8, go on dates with 3, and have sex with 2. The way you structure your profile also matters for how many responses you get, but here is my normal messaging process:
I will use this red color for comments

1. Me: Hi beautiful, how are you? - This is the opener I have found to have the best response rate with the least amount of work. It is a simple compliment and a small talk opener.

Opening with random questions like: "do you know how much force is needed to turn olives in extra virgin oil?" or similar questions will give a high initial response rate, but is quite difficult to transition into dates.
Openers that are customized based on the profile has great potential, but it takes a lot of time getting good at crafting the customized messages. And when you are good, it is still a high effort opener.

Likely response:
Her: I am good thanks
Her: And you?

2. Me: I am good, just [insert what you are doing, reading, working etc.] a bit - I mention what I am doing because it is a bit more interesting than the normal response of just "I am good"
Me: What is your favorite place to travel to? - Most people like traveling and talking about the places they like. This question is to build a bit of similarity/trust.

Likely responses:
Example 1, her: Paris - Paris is just an example
Example 2, her: I like Paris, what about you?
- In example 1 she is less engaged than in example 2, but it does not really matter much your response will be similar in both cases. You should match the engagement in your next message according to hers. If she writes you a long explanation, then write her a longer answer back.

3: Me: What about Paris do you like? If she asks you a question back like in example 2, you would answer that first, then ask about what she likes about the place.

She will likely give you a short explanation of a few words.
Example, her: The small restaurants and the romantic vibe

4. Me: Sounds interesting, maybe I should go there sometime - If you have already been to the place, agree with her and relate but keep it short if she keeps it short
Me: Do you want to grab coffee together sometime? - I ask for coffee because I am a morning person and like to meet my dates in the day time. But do not be surprised if she agrees to coffee and you end up doing something else

Likely response:
Her: Yes I would like that

5. Me: Do you have Facebook or Whatsapp? - Feel free to use any 2 chat platforms, but it is good to provide two options

Likely response is that she gives you some contact info.


General Notes
1. You should aim for asking her out in the 4th or 5th message you send her. 3rd message is a bit too soon as most girls will not feel comfortable with you yet. If you wait longer than 5th message, then your chances of a date and sex on the first date starts dropping.

2. A similar process can be used to go for having her come over to your place directly with a few tweaks, like instead of asking her where she likes to travel to, you ask what area she lives in. Instead of asking for coffee you ask if she wants to meet up, if she asks "where?" you tell her "I can come to your place or we can meet at my place". In general this can be fun but the quality of the girls that say yes to this is on average a bit lower than the girls that say yes to coffee.

3. Your profile text and pictures can have a lot to do with how likely she is going to respond and go on a date with you.

4. I just posted a lay report going over a girl I meet on Bumble if you want a real example:
https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/getting-back-in-the-game.22559/

Let me know if you have any questions or comments

 

[ulrich]

@BigPapa

Lately I have been trying Facebook to find girls and it has brought me surprisingly great women.
It's much more work but totally worth it.

What I do is go to the "suggested friends" section and add all the women I find attractive just looking at the profile pics.
Don't even bother looking at their profiles for now.
Reject any suggestion for guys and non-attractive women so the app keeps bringing new people.

Once the girl approves your friend request, go to their profile and actually look at her pics and posts.
Ignore and possibly unfriend any girl that is a waste of time----> actually not attractive on a second sight, fake profile, married, crazy or lesbian (I'll leave that optional).

If you still like her, send her a "hi" message that is confident and very social saavy.
Something like:
---"Hi NAME
---Facebook said we should be friends and I said yeah, why not?
---I hope you don't mind my forwardness "
Avoid sexy and cocky until you actually get a reply.

Half the girls won't reply.
If she replies, you can go on and use your usual repertoire. Chat for a couple of hours/days until you reach a high point and then ask for a date. If she says yes, then ask for the number.

I have gotten three dates in the last two months doing this and the quality of girls is waaaaay higher than anything Tinder gave to me in the last two years.

I think that if you're going to spend your time browsing women, at least spend it somewhere more rewarding.



PS. If anyone know a way to make this work in Instagram, I'd love to know.

 

[BigPapa]

That is actually a great idea @uriel

 

[Conquistador]

The thing is that women look down a little on dating apps. So, as a girl, you have to be a little desperate, disappointed of men in your life or perhaps sex hungry to consider it to even consider it.

That explains something a girl once told me…interesting

5. Me: Do you have Facebook or Whatsapp? - Feel free to use any 2 chat platforms, but it is good to provide two options

Hmm, I think offering two options is a good idea to steal. Altho number closes are generally still gonna be better IRL.

PS. If anyone know a way to make this work in Instagram, I'd love to know.

I’ve given up on IG personally. Seems like it can work for extended-SC college hookups but I’m not really doing that level of intensity rn. I’m still interested in hearing if you’ve found a way to make that method work on IG tho