FR+ TinyTatarka

[Marty]

I'm not a biology teacher, but let me take you through a quick non-classroom session on attraction, mating and long-term relationships to help your understanding

Please do.

When you walk through a mall and see a woman who's your exact physical type, dressed to impress, moving with feminine poise - your hypothalamus (old brain) reacts to initiate a mating response.

You approach her, get her number, have sex with her on the first date and get into an intense NRE.

From her POV, when an attractive man (Marty) walks up to her, makes eye contact, teases her, takes her number, and sets up a first date - her hypothalamus is running the show.

Her pleasure center is on overload and your escalations overrides her societally conditioned frontal cortex(don't be a slut etc.) easily.

Mm. I thought for a bit on what you wrote, @Stark, and looking at the women I see while going about my day, I think you’re right that it would be a good idea to have sex—or try to have sex—with some of them (unless they don’t want it, of course, but you say that they do want it). Not only would it ease the tension, as I described earlier, but it would help by giving me a sense of control over my own life, rather than leaving it in the hands of others.

I don’t pretend to understand all of the instructions published on this site, or even most of them, and in any case, I don’t think I could hold it all in my head while out meeting people. But I find all of it interesting, whether it has practical applicability or not. The subject itself holds a fascination for me.

What I’ve tried to do is log as much practice as possible, and try to integrate the lessons from the articles—and kindly advice from people like you on the forum—into the interactions themselves, to boost the pace of improvement through intelligent work rather than just sheer repetition alone. I can see now that I was trying to bite off more than I could chew: The literature is simply too big and I can’t carry all that theory around while still acting normally in everyday situations.

You would need some re-programming to start viewing women as the depraved yet pretty sexual creatures they are.

Then test your newfound beliefs with new women on upcoming dates- you'll be in for a pleasant shock - There will be virtually no LMR if you execute this right.

Also sets the foundation for a great relationship that you're probably looking for.

When I originally started posting on the forum, I wasn’t looking for love, or for a girlfriend (which I’ve been lucky to have, oftener than not, through the course of my adult life); nor was I seeking casual sex. I was hoping that I could bring more women into my life, which would make it richer, as well as improving relationship decisions by virtue of having greater optionality, and producing a greater chance of success, through experience, with the women I do love. I haven’t succeeded in that aim, but the practical work has given me so many memorable experiences, recorded in my Field Reports, and at the same time I’ve met lots of lovely people on the forum, who have enriched my experience also.

I think that the problem for action-oriented individuals (as I have always been in other walks of life, especially the professional sphere) is that dating seems to be an awful lot of chat and not much actual doing. Talk for its own sake is very mentally draining. Of course, with a beautiful woman it’s a lot more bearable, but it still feels like work.

That’s why, lately, I’ve preferred to take vacations with young women, as described for example in my Botticelli FR, or in the comment thread of the QueenBee one. At least that way you’re doing something nice together, and not just stuck in a coffee shop facing each other and trying to make awkward conversation. And if you do want to chat, you can always grab dinner in the evening somewhere nice. But it’s too time-consuming, as well as too financially unsustainable, to be a reliable source of connections with multiple women.

I recently read 'Bass-Ackwards' by Eris Adderly and loved it.

I realize I probably have to make some changes to my process, although I’m not sure exactly how. But awareness is the first step, so thanks to you among others for helping me to get there. And yes, I’ve ordered that other book, let me see if I can get more out of it than the last one!

During texting:

While texting I continue the flirty vibe & borderline sexual teases.

@Stark, that’s a good point, now that you come to mention it.

Again with the girl from Botticelli FR, whom I’ve known a few years, and who claims to be “taking a break from her personal life to focus on her career” yet nonetheless spontaneously starts texting me again, I raised the subject of polygamy, as an alternative cultural answer to the question of successful Western men who stray and end up having to file for divorce:

Marty: The Arabian nation has a different practice: If you are capable of taking on additional responsibility, and straightening it out all round, go ahead. But continue to love the first one. Probably not for nothing!

Botticelli: Something to think about.

M: Do you think that a beautiful and successful sheikh is able to satisfy all four wives? Or do you think they experience frustration while awaiting their turn?

B: The concept of “satisfaction” varies between individuals, as does the sexual constitution I think that in the 21st century all can be resolved. Especially in the age of sex shops In fact, that suits me perfectly, since I have little free time and a 1/3 or 2/5 schedule would work for me If it weren’t for the specifics of their beliefs, it would all work perfectly for me

I’m thinking of answering along the lines of: “Well the norm would be 1/4, so you’re already a pretty greedy girl, aren’t you?”

Sound good?

 

[Stark]

Marty, I was going through some of your earlier reports.

From Chorus Girl LR,

About an hour and a half later, I pay, then say just two words:

• 
  Marty: Let's go.
  
  ChorusGirl: Okay.

Not a care in the world—we're totally absorbed with one another. I hold the door for her, she sits in my car.

This LR is a classic. You seem to be in a flow. The right words appear out of your mouth. From approach, to bed, you were on point.

Try to re-live this experience. If possible, imagine your life at that time and how you were feeling overall.

Ask yourself, what were your motivations around women and seduction during that time.

Because, I feel you have the solution already within you.

• ChorusGirl: If we had sex, it'd be a little random for me right now... this is a bit of an unfamiliar situation.

Nonchalantly, I ask what particular aspect is unfamiliar.

My hand slides down her panties from the rear; I grab her ass (it sticks out in an incredibly inviting way).

You see what I'm talking about..

And yes, I’ve ordered that other book, let me see if I can get more out of it than the last one!

Awesome.

Don't put down the book after the first chapter though.

The first few pages can be jarring.

Keep it going at least a hundred pages, if you can. I would like you to see it through, but that's just me

I’m thinking of answering along the lines of: “Well the norm would be 1/4, so you’re already a pretty greedy girl, aren’t you?”

"Norm would be 1/4, but enthusiasm and a willingness to please might work in your favor "

Use every message to introduce more sexual flirting. Also allow her to chase you sexually. That's what she wants.

You can use it almost at any point

She said sometime in the past - "Did you miss me", which kind of pissed you a bit as you read it logically

You could have responded - "Can't wait to see you soon. I feel you missed me as well"

When she responds in the affirmative, you say " Good. I want you to show me how much you missed me"

So instead of framing her question as relationship talk, you can use her words to paint a picture of her dying to jump into bed with you and tear your cloths off.

----

Remember, women don't have the strength of emotional constancy that we have.

She keeps swaying in all directions like a little plant caught up in a whirlwind.

You are an oak tree. She looks up to you for guidance.

You convey through your teases that this is all about sex - and she buys into it. You don't have to go into a lengthy talk verbalizing it like you would to an adult.

As someone else advised you in another thread, treat women as 'silly and cute', not as an intellectually responsible adult.

They're still 10-year-old girls, trapped in an adult woman's biology.

---

dating seems to be an awful lot of chat and not much actual doing.

This is not the case.

If anything, by reading and applying the principles and techniques on this site, you know that women are all about fast sex.

Even your own experience from the past proves this.

 

[Marty]

Marty, I was going through some of your earlier reports.

It's very good of you to do that.

You know, you're very generous to me with your time, @Stark. Also you appear to have some kind of a sixth sense!

A few of the reports were posted on an "alumni forum" that seems to be mostly inactive, and requires separate login details (I used the OneDate product some years ago and had an associated account). At least for the LRs I've extracted PDFs and posted them here: LR: Ass Lover and LR: Steppe Sweetheart.

If possible, imagine your life at that time and how you were feeling overall.

On top of the world!

I was 38, in the best shape of my life, ran 10 km every morning before breakfast, and spent my lunch hours meeting women along the main thoroughfare of the city's central business district. A colleague of mine who had her own professional photography side-business asked to use me as a photographer's model to promote her studio (I was using the headshot for years afterward on my LinkedIn profile). I remember encountering a woman in a parking deck whom I'd known quite well and had the hots for 2 years earlier; she was taken aback when I addressed her by name and in her native language, with flirtation dialed up to 11, and said in embarrassment: "I'm so sorry, I can't remember who you are"—my appearance and manner had changed so drastically after I'd fixed my fundamentals that she didn't recognize me at all!

From Chorus Girl LR

Not long after that LR I remember lying with ChorusGirl on an expanse of grass that will no doubt be very familiar to many of this site's American denizens, in a suit and tie following an employment interview, and remarking that I felt almost like an undergraduate again. (Not that I had felt so carefree when I actually was an undergrad!)

Midlife crisis, Marty-style.

It didn't take more than a couple years after that for me to come crashing down from that high. Things turned very dark for a time.

By the way, since you brought up ChorusGirl as well as mentioning sex talk earlier: One time she suggested we should share our respective fantasies. I said sure, that sounded like a good idea, upon which she told me one or two things (I've completely forgotten what) and then just totally failed to ask me to reciprocate. From then on forever after she was under the impression that we had discussed that subject, if it ever came up, although I had never said a word. Girls are odd sometimes.

Because, I feel you have the solution already within you.

Quite possibly. I'm trying to figure out how to get at it.

Keep it going at least a hundred pages, if you can. I would like you to see it through, but that's just me

I think I can manage that

"Norm would be 1/4, but enthusiasm and a willingness to please might work in your favor "

Brilliant! Brilliant!!

She said sometime in the past - "Did you miss me", which kind of pissed you a bit as you read it logically

I know, dammit, I screw up CONSTANTLY with that "Botticelli" girl. It KEEPS happening. And yet somehow, every time, she gives me a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance, seemingly ad infinitum.

Anyway, your alternative suggestion for that time was great!

You know, there's something unusual about how I relate to "Botticelli". With most women I'm interested in I feel slightly intellectually above them; for the ones who like me, they respect that and find it attractive, while for the others it makes me unrelatable and I need to dumb it down a bit. No problem, I'm used to that.

But this girl just got promoted from head of legal department at her employer to divisional director—at 25! She'll do stuff like fixing my sentences to make them more idiomatic, to improve my command of her language. She calls me "beautiful" and "handsome" on occasion, at the same time giving me the impression that, while a promising suitor, I'm not quite checking all her boxes, putting me in the unfamiliar position of the one being patronized and made to feel like the dumb piece of eye-candy: the role I normally assign to my girlfriends in a kind of unspoken, beneath-the-surface way. It's at the same time annoying and intriguing, and plays games with my head. I need to flip the script somehow.

Remember, women don't have the strength of emotional constancy that we have.

She keeps swaying in all directions like a little plant caught up in a whirlwind.

You are an oak tree. She looks up to you for guidance.

I love it. In good relationships, I've never had any problem with this.

You convey through your teases that this is all about sex - and she buys into it. You don't have to go into a lengthy talk verbalizing it like you would to an adult.

Ah.

I think that's the bit I missed.

Interesting.

As someone else advised you in another thread, treat women as 'silly and cute', not as an intellectually responsible adult.

You know, @Stark, ever since I first read it years ago, that's been my favorite article on this site.

I've recalled it constantly when witnessing behavior that would never be accepted from a man, with colleagues, with girlfriends, hell, even with my mother. Somehow, though, it's so hard for me to apply it to a desirable woman recently met while the surface sheen is still in place.

They're still 10-year-old girls, trapped in an adult woman's biology.

Ha, that's the first thing I thought when @Will_V kindly posted a link to that article again (another guy who has dedicated far more of his time to helping me out than I could possibly expect), because there's a YouTuber calling himself "Better Call George" who says exactly that in multiple videos on the linked channel. He's pretty crude and outrage-seeking in comparison with the articles here, but it's essentially a similar message. Maybe you've even encountered him and that's what made you say it or it's just that great minds think alike

This is not the case.

Really glad to hear you say that, @Stark. I tend to overreact when I see the same message frequently within a short period, and I noticed this thread and this article, both of which emphasize talking (explicitly in the case of the article, in the title itself), and jumped to the conclusion that my talking was not up to scratch.

 

[Stark]

On top of the world!

I was 38, in the best shape of my life, ran 10 km every morning before breakfast, and spent my lunch hours meeting women along the main thoroughfare of the city's central business district.

Try to milk these feelings as much as you can, by re-living it in your imagination. While doing it, make it feel very personal and as if it's happening to you right now.

Quite possibly. I'm trying to figure out how to get at it.

Your keys to success are buried deep in your subconscious. But, it can't reason logically nor use words to articulate, so no point in doing an analytical exercise.

Your subconscious mind is the seat of intuition - Hence you might have to use a recall from the past in the form of intuition, to get that answer you're seeking.

I would recommend two books that have helped me in this regard-

These are small books, especially the second one.

1. Mind Control by Joe Silva
2. Psychic Development for Beginners by Emily Stroia

--

LR: Ass Lover and LR: Steppe Sweetheart.

These reports further substantiate my theory that you have indeed mastered seduction to a certain level and reaped its fruits. Just need to de-hypnotize yourself from the bad events of 2016-17 that you had briefly mentioned in a previous post.

In a way, you would need to forget those memories(look up 'false memories' on how you can do this).

While you're at it, practice conscious recall of the above good memories.

In summary, link the successes and skills to your ego while detaching the seeming failures or disappointments from it.

I noticed this thread and this article, both of which emphasize talking

1. @Will_V 's thread on social skills required to be successful in daygame is spot on. Having read your many reports, I can attest that your social skills are not lacking. In Will_V's words, it's about 'being a successful animal in your social domain rather than a wandering derelict who's getting de-moralized by countless rejections'. You're very much the former so nothing to worry about here

2. Chase's article on men who refuse to learn to talk to women - Some men wish talking to women was just like talking to men. These are the type of men who would never bother to read that article in the first place. They never want to learn any conversation technique. It's just too far out of their comfort zone to talk to women. Again you don't belong to this category either.

This is not a sticking point of yours. You can safely keep this on the back burner for now.

I need to flip the script somehow.

She's used to the ball-busting frame for a while now. In my experience, it's hard to reverse the frame midway into a relationship. However, you can try Chase's 'agree and amplify' / 'accept and deflect' techniques that he mentions in the articles.

In short, you would seemingly agree with her frame, then redirect her to the sexual frame. Look up pacing and leading.

there's a YouTuber calling himself "Better Call George" who says exactly that in multiple videos on the linked channel.

Indeed. I have watched George's videos and highly recommend his dating advice. That line was inspired by his video on the same topic. It's a shame he's moved on from seduction topics.

 

[Marty]

I recently read 'Bass-Ackwards' by Eris Adderly and loved it.

What a beautiful book!

The funny title, the subtitle A Wrong-Way Romance, and the plot sequence that actually starts with anal sex and proceeds through twists and turns to the protagonists eventually tongue-kissing, illustrates perfectly the "biology lesson" you sought to teach me (quoted below):

When you walk through a mall and see a woman who's your exact physical type, dressed to impress, moving with feminine poise - your hypothalamus(old brain) reacts to initiate a mating response.

You approach her, get her number, have sex with her on the first date and get into an intense NRE.

From her POV, when an attractive man(Marty) walks up to her, makes eye contact, teases her, takes her number, and sets up a first date - her hypothalamus is running the show.

Her pleasure center is on overload and your escalations overrides her societally conditioned frontal cortex(don't be a slut etc.) easily.

She starts feeling romantic love towards you after many many times of sleeping with you. You both get into a state of pair bonding assisted by secretions of oxytocin during the post-sex cuddle/pillow talks. This can take anywhere between 3 to 6 months.

Now, your ventral tegmental area(connected to the midbrain) is activitated.

It helps your frontal cortex(newer brain) rationalize how awesome and intelligent she is, and how she can be your long-term partner. When you look deep into her eyes, you feel a sensation of romantic love which has nothing to do with sex.

I gained genuine pleasure from the novel, and would happily read others like it. Unfortunately, most of the rest of the author's appears to be set not in the modern day like this one, but in some remote past or fantasyland, which is less to my taste.

I found the heroine very sympathetic as a character. The writing was skilled, humorous, and entertaining.

Thanks so much for the recommendation, @Stark.

 

[Stark]

What a beautiful book!

The funny title, the subtitle A Wrong-Way Romance, and (quoted below):


I gained genuine pleasure from the novel, and would happily read others like it. Unfortunately, most of the rest of the author's appears to be set not in the modern day like this one, but in some remote past or fantasyland, which is less to my taste.

I found the heroine very sympathetic as a character. The writing was skilled, humorous, and entertaining.

Thanks so much for the recommendation, @Stark.

Glad you liked it Marty.

The plot sequence that actually starts with anal sex and proceeds through twists and turns to the protagonists eventually tongue-kissing, illustrates perfectly the "biology lesson" you sought to teach me

Spot on!