Transformation Journey

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I will keep this introduction post short and add more information about myself from time to time. I’ve been in touch with socializing and development for various years. My progress for that time is really depressing. I got into two long term relationships at that time too, which made me start almost from zero again. Now I will not go into another relationship for some time. As you know there are phases with more and less time investment. I’ve been way more active since the beginning of September again (got a bit enrolled with thesis/work…). I will keep going, push through, learn more and develop myself. I will be grateful if you can add some feedback.

Besides my own evaluation and reflection through publishing reports here, I wish I can add some value to you. Especially if you are not too active I wish I can motivate you to be more active and learn to connect with people better.

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Goals:
-Stop to judge myself and others
-Especially in the street, often play not to lose instead of playing to win
-Incorporate mindset I am good enough, be fully present and emit really positive energy,
-Approached lots of girls quite creepy, need to adjust some „bad habits“ 
-Need to make use more use of my reports' goals and evaluations, through evaluation I want to develop myself transform myself and get better
-Furthermore, I want to learn to Sexualise, be more dominant, connect on deeper levels, stop being too nice, speak unfiltered, go my way, get more confident, etc. 

 

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Some short information for the context, Just arrived in this city (Blumenau) (Friday). This city has an Oktoberfest, which just started. Previously I am living in São Paulo right now and have been living there for over half a year now.

The structure of my reports will be: goals, what was good, what to do better, sometimes also general notes.


Friday

Goals:
-Emit positive energy, be at the moment
-Seduced mentality, interested in her, give compliments
-Lion mentality (working on showing more interest and be more dominant)
-Solutions finder: actively seek for solutions

What was good:
-Still approached some girls, even though the beginning was tough
-My energy and vibe improved over the night

What to do better:
-Very stupid mistake: just copy-pasted my goals and did not really think about them
-Got excuses in my head, took too much time to start to approach
-Did not approach with enough interest and energy
-I got to that city too late, had to work on so I took an evening flight. Actually it was not really too late first, however, we (we were three) drank too much and it got really late, it was kind of sad that one friend drank too much and we had to bring him back home before arriving there (this did not happen before), this clearly cost some energy.


Cheers,
Alex

 

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Saturday

Goals:
As yesterday wasn’t too good I wrote lots of goals for today. I just summarize them here:
-Go quickly, not a big deal calibrate afterwards.
-Give everything, 100% (otherwise I can just leave it)
-Mentality wanna get to know her and kiss her
-Emit lots of positive energy, totally inspired by her, full attention
-I am in the moment and enjoy it
-Kino, lots of touch, seduced, active learner, Lion mentality, it's ok that I don't connect with all, that saves time, be more expressive

What was good:
-actively kept getting closer to various girls
-make out with a girl which is prettier than the girls I usually kiss.
-kept going, even though I did not connect with some girls (written nicely and positively lol)

What to do better:
-spend too much time with girls without expressing too much interest
-talked too much about me, why the fuck should she care
-be direct in the opener

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Sunday

Goals:
-It’s Not a big Deal just go there
-go to talk to her 4 times as I in the first seconds I see her (still waiting too long)
-Open 10 Girls with a compliment: use more my hand
-Giving King: I am interested in her: I have lots of value, She wants to have fun, I help with that
-Solution finder: I find solutions, no matter what happens
-Transmit and give a lot of interest: Emit positive energy and interest, totally seduced and inspired
-Kino, take her hand, come close to her, calibrate

What was good:
-When I approached the girls with good energy, they were quite happy about the approach. seems like they didn’t get approached a lot before
-> just go there, it is a win-win situation, everybody is happy
-asked for numbers (didn’t ask before because I didn’t know I will stay here, however it turned out that it rains and the other city which has beaches might be too empty) and asked to meet again
-good energy when opening
-started opening after friends left to hang out with them, managed to do that being alone.

What to do better:
-Stayed too long with one girl, maybe even 1 hour (got to know each other kissed, got some beer together, sat down, looked at the show, danced a bit, etc. excuse: not many people were there as it is Sunday at first, however, there still came more people). (friend of her was always with us, hard to get a guy for her friend because of her weight).
-same as previous: need to use time more efficiently, also with other interactions
-approached too slowly

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Monday

Date with a girl I met yesterday, had goals for Oktoberfest as well and did not go there in the end, therefore the notes are only about the date.

Goals:
-Connect, create a good connection.
-deeper topics
-Sexualize as good as possible
-lots of kino, take hand quickly (held her hand yesterday already), shoulder massage, put her hand around me, make out (she didn't want yesterday because of other friends and family from here were there)
-Escalate as much as possible, calibrate

What was good:
-had my laptop at a coffee with me to do sth while I waited for her… she had a conference which took longer
-led her now and then, gave her my attention and positive energy
-kino, hold her hand quickly, put my arm around her, gave compliments
-we went to a hotel together, we enjoyed the time together
-spend quite some time together on the next day too, found it interesting to get to know her more and hang out together

What to do better:
-speak less monotonous, therefore break that and create different emotions
-talk about deeper subjects
-sexualize more, could have kissed her quicker
-I could have told her that I will be busier at the weekend, so she feels less rejected as she wants to see me (kind of invited me to hang out for some days). I like to see her again, and I don't want to spend some days with her (especially not in the weekend, however, she could go for a trip only starting on Friday), a possible solution for the future: I say that a friend comes to hang out with me on the weekend (my friends had to leave yesterday night as written before to go back to work)

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Tuesday

It turned out to be different than planned in the goals. I met a girl at the hostel, let's call her Kate and actually I had no intentions because of excuses on her (seemed too mature). However, in the end, we went to the Oktoberfest together. There it felt weird to approach other women, however I approached some. After some time I kissed her and we hang out together. When we left our hostel room was empty, when be came back there was some guy there. and she didn’t want to go somewhere else, even though I touched her everywhere etc.


Goals:
-It's not a big deal, go there immediately
-I give lots of positive energy I am and feel totally inspired by her and very happy to meet her and listen to her with my full attention.
-Go in and open the conversation with a Kompliment/ bring one in the first 30 seconds (most of the indirect attempts led nowhere.)
-I start quickly with kino, talk to her ear (preserves energy as well), I wanna kiss her (Pred.). Don’t stay longer than 15 minutes with a girl. (only stay longer if I isolate her/ or we might meet up these days as she has time to create a better connection) (unless it is really empty, as it's rainy and Tuesday)
-Diminish the time between approaches as much as possible, can also talk to guys, talk to 6 girls tonight (It’s Tuesday, better set a lower goal and reach it than too high goal)
-Some girls have boyfriends/ are not interested, that's ok, I still give her positive energy, which her an amazing party, etc. I will just go talk to some other girls to create connections and enjoy the time together. I open with higher energy, especially after these ones.
-Solutions finder:
Whatever happens: I will find something positive and an opportunity to learn sth new and practice sth
-She is here to meet new people, (high percentage she does not really like the music/ dance lol). She wants to have fun, emotional rides, kisses and she loves sex. Just go there quickly, it's not a big deal and a win-win situation. I am totally seduced and inspired.

What was good:
-Approached some girls in the presence of the Kate
-Good chances with Kate at the hostel, not too much missing, slept in her bed lots of touch
-As expected it was not too good to approach there, lots of families etc, still made the best of it


What to do better:
-Don’t rely on an empty hostel, go somewhere else when I am alone with a girl
-Sexualize more
-Be more playful on girls even though I am not interested in them


Cheers,
Alex

 

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Wednesday

Today I spend time in the city with Kate. In the afternoon I asked to go to someplace with more privacy, hotel/ bed and breakfast in the afternoon, We hang out in the hostel (I also did some own stuff). I didn't want to ask too late to meet maybe Mary or know that I will push more night, guess that was a good decision as I think the chances would not have been that much higher later. The guy in our room vanished, it would have been better to not ask until returning there. Still went for it again there and she stopped it after taking off her top.
I went to Oktoberfest with her, approached some girls, there was not too much time actually, then I went to see Mary and spend the night with her.

Goals:
-Ask Kate to spend the night in hotel/ bed and breakfast (not too late so I can make better use of the night if not)
-Spend time with her and get to know her
-Create a good connection with her
-Sleep with her

What was good:
-Get to know each other much better, enjoyed the time together
-Good comfort and exchange
-Asked her to go to a hotel/ bed and breakfast place (I'm not used to do that)
-Opened a few girls at the Oktoberfest even though there was really not much time
-Spend the night with Mary I dated on Monday (we wrote about to meet each other in the afternoon, it was pretty clear where all this will lead

What to do better:
-Asked Kate about past crazy experiences and her love life, should have asked her previously to better find out if we can connect at that point
-Need more attraction
-Ask to go to a motel instead of just to a hotel/ bed and breakfast, it trains me to be more direct
-Need to be less needy (on the girl from the hostel, well I thought if I don't try again in the hostel, nth happens anyways, however, I asked her if it was too much, etc. and she denied it, not sure about this point. (As on the other hand girls like if they are desired and wanted)

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Thursday

Was with Mary, stayed together until midday

What was good:
-enjoyed the time, and learned to get closer
-getting more comfortable to spend more time with her for a longer period

What to do better:
-Did not set goals for the time with Mary, need to have some plan to practice connecting better or practice something else
-I am too monotonous, need to change the vibe sometimes to create different emotions.


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I met some group at the hostel and we went for the parade. I guess it was good for socializing. On the other hand, it costed too much energy and I arrived too early at the Oktoberfest, etc. There I stayed too long with them and started talking to others way too late. I should have got more sleep before, of course, these are just excuses.

Goals:
-It"s not a big deal, go there immediately
-I give lots of positive energy, I am and feel totally inspired by her and very happy to meet her and listen to her with my full attention.
-Go in and open the conversation with a compliment/ bring one in the first 30 seconds (most of the indirect openers led nowhere)
-I start quickly with kino, talking to her ear. I want to kiss her (Pred.) Don't stay longer than 15 min with a girl. (only stay longer if I isolate her/ or we might meet up these days to create a better connection now.
-Some girls have boyfriends/ are not interested. That's ok, still give positive energy and wish her an amazing night. I open with especially high energy after meeting these ones.
-Solutions finder:
Whatever happens: I will find something positive and an opportunity to learn sth new and practice sth
-She is here to meet new people (high percentage she does not really like the music/ dance lol. She wants to have fun, emotional rides, kisses and loves sex. Just go there quickly, it's not a big deal and a win-win situation. I am totally seduced and inspired

What was good:
-Could approach while other guys from my group from the hostel were close to me, it's not a big deal and in the end, nobody cares anyways
-Still approached various girls, make out with one. Almost with a second one, I escalated too slow and she lost interest.

What to do better:
-I approached some girls half-heartedly. It is just useless. just stupid. Guess I approach weaker, if somebody else from my group is watching (I asked one guy to wing a bit, guess I want to make use of a better social status and wanted help with the friends. I think for now it is better if I approach alone, as I am not dependent on somebody else. I have the impression that I switch to play not to lose and not play to win. I need to work on that and go all in anyways.
-I started to approach too late, got me a bit in my head.
-The numbers I got are not safe, did mention to meet tomorrow, I probably won’t see them.
-There are too many goals, and they are not specific and measurable. I should set a few ones I will focus on, which I can remind myself of. Tomorrow, I will focus on going immediately and diminishing the time between sets, and most importantly, going in ALL IN again being totally inspired and seduced. These lead to a loss of various opportunities.

Cheers,
Alex

 

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Friday

Mindset:
-totally inspired and seduced by her
-she wants to have fun and meet new people and makes herself beautiful for that

Goals:
-speak to her ear after opener to save energy, speak from the belly
-talk and speak about her
-kino quickly
-apply time management to make the best use of the time and kiss various girls.
-go in with 100% I really like her and she really likes me

-I wrote some detail time management goals with times I want to hold before leaving conversations/ unless certain stages are reached. I did totally not follow that….
-> need to work on these two goals

What was good:
-opened with good energy
-made out with three girls
-focused on talking about her

What to do better:
-I talked for way to long in with two girls before kissing them. Too much energy invested in talking. I should try to kiss fast and get some rejections and try again. Therefore, I learn, I can go for it much faster. Saw quite some times, how guys turned it, (she didn’t kiss him first but after a bit she did)
-faster kino
-opened sometimes not fully direct
-Didn’t approach always directly, too much rethinking, need to improve that.
-Goals especially the time management part was set too high, need to readjust that
-asked too many questions, instead of making statements

 

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Saturday

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her
-she wants to have fun and meet new people
-she loves kissing and making out, she made herself beautiful for more than 1h to be talked to

Goals:
-speak to her ear after opener to save energy, speak from the belly
-talk and speak about HER
-use lots of kino
-apply time management to make the best use of the time (Leave after 6/12/18 min) according to the interaction (if it moves forward or not)
-go in with 100%
-diminish the time between the interactions: go there and use my chances: it happens that some other guys approach and then I lose the opportunity forever.

What was good:
-opened with good energy
-made out with three girls again
-focused on talking about her
-previously I was sometimes rude in a stupid and strange way, I noticed it in one interaction, good that I noticed it

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-It might be more convenient to approach alone, especially during the best time (instead of trying to wing with people I don't know and who are not used to that)
-Need to go there directly, still got excuses to observe and screen better, however, it just leads to the loss of many opportunities

What to do better:
-It takes time to be with a huge group from the hostel everybody needs sth now and then. Plan more time for that/ need to leave earlier together
-The approaches with guys from the hostel were much worse, I set myself more pressure or sth. I need to improve that
-faster kino
-I am not listening to the recordings I am doing, I need to make use of them to evaluate what I am doing
-opened sometimes not fully direct, I want to be more direct
-Didn’t approach always directly after seeing the girl, too much rethinking, need to improve that.
-I rarely set the Timer to give me hints when to leave. Get used to set it as well, especially if it is a big party with many opportunities
-guess I set myself a bit too much pressure, as its the last day I am there, and it is by far the best day because it's most crowded (Saturday)

 

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Sunday

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her

Goals:
-Connect with date, it seemed very save (lots of messages to be excited) and she got some belly pain (not the first one these days, however the reasons seem quite real (other one send photos of incident lol))

What was good:
-Time to socialise with the hostel,
-do some things which are totally overdue, probably much better I did them than seeing her

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-Always have sth to do planned, and set up more dates
-Always use time management tricks, it simply save time

What to do better:
-Still don’t feel good setting up more dates, however, its seems that its the way to go here
-Go to the street or sth anyways, plan time better to make it happen and get things done

 

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Monday

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her

Goals:
-Connect with date, I got three "let's go" with girls I was writing for a while yesterday and in the end, there was no date.
-Therefore I went to the street

General Notes:
-went a bit to the street. The Moment I arrived it started to rain (didn't rain the previous hours). This was not too good

What was good:
-Still approached some girls after the rain ended, was not too good through
-hang out with some friend

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-Always have sth to do planned, and set up more dates
-Always use time management tricks, it simply saves time

What to do better:
-Need to set up saver dates, need to make better connections and give the girls more motivation to see me
-plan time better to make it happen and get things done

 

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Tuesday

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her

Goals:
-Play to win
-have a genuine interest in her
-solutions finder
-date at night, practice to sexualize and give more compliments

General Notes:
-Way better than yesterday, however, worse than two weeks ago. Didn’t get to the hook point with anyone.
-Already had slept with the girl from the date, therefore it was more to enjoy the time together

What was good:
-It's awesome how being inspired and interested is reflected
-practiced giving more compliments as usual with date

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-Need to ALWAYS be inspired and have real interest with the girls I open at the street, otherwise its a loss of time
-A loud voice is essential

What to do better:
-Always be inspired and open with real interest, otherwise, it's just lost time
-Still not hearing approaches, I'm a bit behind with various things.
-plan time better to make it happen and get things done

 

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Wednesday

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her
-open strong

Goals:
-Play to win
-have a genuine interest in her
-solutions finder

General Notes:
-I wanted to go to a bar at night, however, I did not go there.

What was good:
-Uploaded the reports of the last days

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-Need to manage my energy better to go out at night
-need better textgame, didn't make good use of various matches on tinder

What to do better:
-My tinder text game has quite bad results, need to analyse the conversations I had there, and improve it a lot
-need to go out anyways and practice a bit, the excuse was the other city I just arrived and being tired, etc.
-define goals for going out way earlier, probably it helps to be more motivated

 

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Thursday Date

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her
-I want to sexualize and show my interest

Goals:
-Take risks, even though I have a long travel, don’t just want to be a friend: kino, kiss, ask to be together at night
-have a genuine interest in her
-solutions finder

General Notes:
-took a longer trip to see a girl from tinder: reasons: she lives in a nice city so I can get to know the city and her

What was good:
-Enjoyed the time with her, make out, good connection
-different locations, made us feel like knowing each other well

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-I need to take the responsibility to ask and lead directly (not just giving hints)
-I need to lead quicker into those topics

What to do better:
-I did not directly ask her to go to the motel, only indirectly, she gave me some kind of shit test and I stopped asking.. time was missing as well. I should have started earlier talking about sex etc.
-anyways the biggest downfall was to not directly ask, even just for practice and to get more comfortable next time

 

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Thursday Night

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her

General Notes:
-was really tired because of the date etc and sth unexpected happened, therefore I had to change some plans...
then I arrived at a party at the wrong time,(I wanted to dance, a traditional dance I like, not approach and nobody was dancing anymore..)
-went to a karaoke bar then, it was not good to approach anyways and I was tired. just talked to some guys there.

What was good:
-talked to some guys at some karaoke bar

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-Need to be more active
-need to set goals in advance

What to do better:
-Need to be more active, no matter if I'm tired, need to be able to project energy and practice anyway

 

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Friday Date

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her

Goals:
-Take risks
-enjoy the conversation
-have a genuine interest in her

General Notes:
-she was way less attractive than expected (Tinder), did not want to do any kino and did not, I am lacking a lot in this crucial area

What was good:
-Enjoyed the time with her,
-practiced listening
-she has strong expressions,

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-I should practice sexualizing even though I am not too interested
-I want to use more expressions and energy as she did

What to do better:
-Her time was limited, so there was no option to pull, and the other days I'm here in this city won’t work, so it was not cool it is limited

 

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Friday Night

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her
-I want to sexualize and show my interest

Goals:
-Take risks, even though I have a long travel, don’t just want to be a friend: kino, kiss, ask to be together at night
-have a genuine interest in her
-solutions finder

General Notes:
-first I went with a guy from the hostel to a city nearby to go for some bars. It was kind of early and empty. I decided to go to a dance party of a dance I enjoy which however is not good to approach. There I stayed a bit too long, almost to 3.00 am for useless reasons. Then I went to some open club. It turned out to be an LGBT club. I was a little stuck not opening. Then I make out with a girl and later with another. It's relatively easy in those clubs. However, I did not go further. With the first one, I walked around the club which means that I isolated her which was ok.

What was good:
-Enjoyed dancing at that second club, it was a good decision to leave the first place (it did not seem very promising)
-Felt more comfortable after some time in the last club

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-need to work on pushing more and developing myself
-need to take the risks and steps

What to do better:
-I need to go for the next steps
-I need to talk more about crazy dreams etc.
-I am just loosing for opportunities. Nth will happen if I don't do anything. even though it did not seem probable, I need to practice and get better.

 

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Saturday Date

Mindset:
-be totally inspired and seduced by her
-girls love sex as much as guys or even more

Goals:
-enjoy the conversation
-have a genuine interest in her
-talk about sex and imaginations
-Say that we go to a motel

General Notes:
-afterwards she wrote to me that she is seeing some guy and wanted more an exchange. I need to think about how I can filter out those girls. This explains, why she did not react much to my approaches to get closer etc.

What was good:
-still went for kino through there was not a lot of reaction
-used time to eat lol
-learned more about her the culture etc
-guess 2h was a fair amount of time to stay with her, thought about leaving earlier however she took over 40 minutes to come pretty much where I am staying

Insights (if I can write 2 only)
-same as yesterday can still talk about sex even without having a lot of interest
-should still practice deeper topics. not doing that.

What to do better:
-build deeper connection, ask deeper questions
-practice talking about sex and related subjects, very little here
-have a better idea of what I want to do on the date to lead better