TWC Journal

[TheWiseFool]

Re: Nice, talkative, fun guy vs. Wise and sexy

Journal Entry: 14 April 2014
Report Details: Thursday 10 April 2014
Romancer level: Intermediate
Seducer Level: Beginner
Location: Library
Time: 6pm-7:46pm

I really don't know how to word this cos it was about like 2 hours... I wouldn't say this was a date but it was time spent with a girl in my calculus class who I know likes me. I already made an entry about her so this is more of a continuation.

I just want to make note of the difference in the dynamic of a situation when comparing how I act when I am nice, fun, friendly, and "trying" to be impressive vs being wise and sexy.

So I was the one getting help from her and too be honest I was being such a goofball because I was stressing out over not doing well on an exam we would be having the following day. On top of that, she is smarter than me, in terms of math, for sure. At first I was like, "Geez... I don't ever let anyone talk to me like this," but I was humbling myself to really get the material. I noticed we weren't getting much work done because she was babying me in a sort of way to make sure I understood the material. On top of that, I realized that there was more laughing and giggling between us both, which led me to say, "Alright, I'm about to get serious in the next 2 seconds." Changed my state right at that moment. Went from all fun and games to how I am when I am in a new situation.

Focused, poised, confident, unapologetic, deeper voice, on top of things, in control and dominant. I stopped caring about her feelings in the sense that I wasn't babying her, such as telling her some placating phrase, such as "Oh it's okay", every time she said sorry or some other thing she would do out of being nervous. I realized that awkward silence or long pauses are only awkward if you think they are. I stopped getting questions wrong and were answering questions way before her. The events that took place when this happened are so hard to describe but it was so funny even though I didn't laugh because of the state I was in. This girl, who was in her element and in control of the situation, just started freezing up and started apologizing and changed into this totally submissive state and qualifying herself to me. I'm not sure if it is more or less of a bad thing, but I think it was a good thing that every time she would apologize, I stopped telling her it's okay or that's alright; instead, I just didn't say anything and was just observing. I wasn't trying to be all fun and talkative and buddy buddy. I even started getting all sexy/playful and I was surprised with how much I could get away with! I decided to test what happens when you call a girl out on what she's doing, such as
"Why are you smiling?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh you don't like this? Should I go back to how I was before? No. You're confusing me *playful pouty face*, what do you want me to do *sexy, intense look*."

Of course I was rewarding her with a lot of touch, which just came off natural in this state, which was really weird, but I guess that's what comes with this state. A lot more daring and just having fun with being sexy.

It's so much easier because then a girl is qualifying herself and I was keeping her on her toes. It was crazy. It got to the point where I just wanted to spontaneously kiss her, but I thought about the "what if she doesn't want me to" or "this isn't the place to do this", and ended up not doing so. That probably sounds like no big deal to most guys, but I guess since I'm sexually inexperienced, and being sober, it was to me. When I've had a couple of drunks, being sexual is so so so easy because I'm not thinking as much and am in fun mode; obviously, I don't want to use alcohol as a crutch and I don't party anymore so yea.... haha!

I believe I have a much better understanding of what it means to be the one who is trying to get the girl to prove herself to me. Instead of a gradual switch, one can just switch in an instant or can behave a certain way right before meeting up. I want to test this again, but I might as well do this all the time!

As usual, results are better than reactions. We departed and that was it. The dynamics of it all were amazing to have observed. I should have asked her out on a date date, but I was too damn nervous.

//Refer to messages for further information on how to handle other questions involving how sexually aggressive you can be.

Things I did wrong
- started the interaction as a nice guy
- did not go for the kiss
- I probably missed an escalation window when she asked me what I'm doing after this
- overthinking at the end instead of staying in the right frame of mind

Things I did well
- Noticed wrong mode of behavior and compensated by switching states
- Incorporated a lot of touch
- Sexual frames
- Calling her out on behavior, then teasing the right way

//Realized that you have a strong preference for middle eastern and indian women

 

[TheWiseFool]

Asking Way Too Much, Way Too Soon

Day of Thursday, 17 April 2014
Purpose: Date for formal

Girl 1 (Calc Girl)
This girl was the one from my Calculus class. Right after the exam, I went up to her and asked her where she is headed? Literally the first thing she brings up is something from a couple of days ago that I was teasing her about and my intuition about a girl like her, caring about my opinion of her, was correct. She was trying to qualify herself and hopefully I let her know that it's alright before getting back on topic. Anyways, what I THOUGHT was going to be an EASY YES backfired when she told me that her sister's engagement party is on the same weekend. I'm thinking, well fuck. I let her go and am glad I asked!

Girl 2 (Cute Brunette)
At this point in the day, I'm thinking, "Well.... I guess I have to go with some random person I don't know rather than someone I already know..." I see a cute brunette and tell myself, "Fuck it just go please!!!!!" I walk up, get close to her side and say, "Hey there," and put on the cheekiest/sexiest grin I could think of. Her reception is warm: "Hi," with a smile. Her smile cools my anxiety down so I'm thinking, "Just say something man, keep talking," So the next step that comes to mind is to compliment her, so I tell her that I think she's really cute which prompts her to shyly say thanks which I thought was cute (I really hope I don't make girls nervous even though it feels like it a lot... not sure if I am aiming "low" on the target/afraid to approach the really hot ones, although I that average girls usually have better personalities compared to the hotter ones, who are always given attention with ease). I ask a basic question about what she is up to today, and she is headed to class. At this point, I feel a time crunch and I just go straight for the heart of the interaction and ask if she'd accompany me as my date to a dance. Without going into much detail since this was pretty much a crapshoot... I get denied. Wasn't surprised. I felt like I half-assed the whole thing. Laughed it all off and went to my noon class.

Girl 3 (HTM)
At this point in the day, I'm feeling anxious and nervous because I only have a week left. I decide, I wonder if HTM would be interested. I'm not expecting much from her so I shoot her a text asking how adventurous she is. "Not very... lol why". I make a =_= *figures face* and text back "Oh no... not adventurous... " and then try to create intrigue by saying, "So getting dressed up, traveling, possibly dance and a bit of drinking isn't your thing?" I get no text back. I head to the math department to grab my afternoon meal and get some work done on my code. 20-30 minutes after my arrival she shows up and I'm thinking, "Wow... she's never here during this time." She doesn't pay attention to me even though I know she sees me and I make it clear that I want her to engage me from the get go by looking at her intently. She talks to another tutor, so I get back to my work and pay her no attention since I don't want to be waiting on her. She engages me and says that she is leaving at 5 that day, but I say it is next week. She laughs saying that it was something spontaneous and I think, "I wouldn't even want to ask that based on your initial response..." I tell her it is next week and she asks what it is. I tell her and then she says, "Oh well, I would go if it wasn't out of state, but since it is...", I cut her off, nonchalantly following with, "It's cool, I'll just ask another girl." When I said that, I realized I was hurt because every time I ask her she shoots me down even, which just strengthens the rule that reactions vs results matter (I always feel like she is interested in me, but things never work out... it may be that I'm not pushing enough after the initial denial). I proceed to get into friendly mode since I really don't care what she thinks of me now so I decide to tell her what is up, "Man the first girl...", she cuts me off, "What, I wasn't your first choice," slightly offended/surprised look, "well then..." Paying no attention to her, "And then there was the second girl...", she cuts me off again, "Wait... I wasn't good enough for second?!" I'm laughing at this point because I think it is cute, I can't tell if she is surprised or feigning surprise. I straighten up and realize my folly of not taking care of a girl's feelings, so I use logic. "Well, I wasn't expecting much asking you..." she looks at me confused and intrigued, "I mean everytime I ask you anything you're always so busy and tell me no. I mean take now for example, what was the result?" Her face softens and she agrees with a, "Yea you're right." Although I want to believe that she understands my logic, I want her to know that it hurts getting rejected and if she is going to act surprised at least be aware of why you aren't the first pick.... even if that means I have to hurt her feelings a little.... I try to lighten the mood by saying in a playful tone, "Besides, you hate me anyways so I'm doing you a favor by not having you come with me," (inside joke. I think she does like me she just doesn't want to show it, so it is expressed by her being "mean" (alluding to mean and horny article). So I decided I'm just playfully teasing her and being sexual with her.) I guess I catch her off guard since she is thinking about what I said before and she comes up with an auto-response, "Oh yea... I loathe you." I thought she said, "I love you," so I ask her to repeat.... I'm sure she said no anyways because she is auto-rejection and if she wasn't before, then she probably is now.... ANYWAYS.... I try to work on my lab, but all the rejections are bringing me down. I get my stuff together and head out for class where my friend picks my mood up.


After a day of moping around, I am pretty happy because I haven't really gotten around to scheduling any sort of date with any girl.

All in all, I'm looking up. I have a week to get a date, which is plenty of time.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Random Updates

Well, no date for formal.

However I did figure out how to speak with a purr in my voice.

This week has been busy and today was especiallyy hectic. I just got home and was reviewing my day and realized that a girl opened me and I totally blew her off, telling her that I am super busy in a polite manner.

I was taking a walk with a friend and while I was talking to him I decided to just hardcore stare at this amazing brunette, who, after noticing me, was giving me the look right back. I did the look away smile, but was so nervous to look back because I didn't want to break away from my friend in mid conversation. Unfortunately she checked me out one last time as we were shoulder to shoulder and I was just like, dammit...

Further updates: I am having trouble getting sexual. It is so difficult and nerve racking for me to do so. I got a girl alone and slept at her place, but I am just worried because she knows my friend and I don't like being in awkward situations... I feel so angry with myself but at the end of the day my decisions resulted in my past.

Even though I don't have a date tonight, I don't really care. I took it as a challenge to get a date in two weeks time but things didn't pan out as schoolwork has been ramping up with the semester coming to a close. All I want to do tonight is just have a couple of beers with my brothers and see some old faces, and maybe some new ones too

 

[TheWiseFool]

Not providing value

I found it interesting that my natural friend told me that girls only care if you look out for yourself. I was talking to him about how ridiculous that sounds but he said, "Hey man, it works and I don't know why either." I let it go and later thought about it. If you look out for yourself that means you're not doing things to please others but yourself. Not going out of your way to do something you don't want to. Not providing good feelings, essentially. I looked at every one of my brother's last night and how they acted and treated the women they were with. I thought it was interesting but this seems true. The guys with the better looking and quality girls didn't tend to their dates hand and foot. Keeping her conpany making sure she isn't bored were not on their priority list, it was "I'm going to have a good time and have fun." I noticed that they would come around check on their date and instantly a lot of touch and very few words. Stroking their legs, wrapping their arms around their waist, or conversing with them about whatever; putting them back into this trance before heading out again to drink, smoke, or talk to other guys and girls.

I had fun myself but I was just seeing the room for what it was, as I always enjoy doing. Observing and learning and takig joy in other people's joy.