FR Two Girls One Venue

[AFCnoob]

Summary: Still acting like an idiot and playing at PU, even though I shouldn't. Moving around a venue talking to two different girls is ill advised, and I pay for it.

[Vivi] Chinese/Singaporean [Rating: objective 6/subjective 4] [Age: @ 27](closed)
[Una] German [Rating: objective 6/subjective 6][Age: @25](closed)

Open1: stupid
I made a post about assessing before, and there really is no "assessing", I guess. This evening proved it to me. I arrived at the venue with a couple of friends after getting off work. I'm familiar with the venue and know some of the people there. [Vivi] was seated in a 4 set, two guys and another girl friend of hers. I decided not to approach, because "obviously" they were on a double date or something--NOT the case. I looked around the venue and saw another nice girl, but she was talking to some other guy, NOT an option (WRONG again, the guy was just a friend, and I spot the girl talking to another guy minutes later).

I see [Vivi] talking to my temporary wing (we'll call him [Diesel]), who doesn't look very interested (he wasn't) and sit down and start talking to her. She is flirty, but not serious. I realize this rather quickly and move on, leaving [Diesel] to deal with her.

Escalation1: N/A
Again, [Vivi] was flirty, but unwilling to escalate, and trying to play silly games--move on.

Move1: N/A

Close1: N/A

Open2: introduction via wing

Just to drive the point about "assessing" home, I spotted another girl in the same venue after number closing another girl who I know who showed up there (she had left at this point). She was kinda dancing with this guy so, off limits right? Wrong, turns out the guy was her gay friend. Then I spotted my gay friend dancing with her and thought "now that's not right..." so I walked over, and he winged me in.

Move2: fairly smooth
She was quite open to me and we danced and chatted, I moved her off the dance floor with just minimal resistance, and we chatted more.

I lost my phone just a day ago, so I actually had to write her number down on a piece of paper, but it was OK. One of her friends left, and she said goodbye. Then her other friend (the last one) came up and said he was leaving. I had no real plans to close with [Una], but I decided to hang out and see what would happen. [Una] was in the process of saying goodbye to her friend, which would just leave the two of us when...

[Vivi] straight up walked up to me, cut in front of [Una] and started acting stupid, asking "if I was busy" ("I kinda am, leave me alone") and "where we were going next ("I don't know where you're going, I'm not going anywhere"). I knew [Vivi] had no interest in me, and was just jealous because I left her to talk to [Una]. When I finally managed to push around her without being a total dick and re-engage [Una], she had confirmed her suspicions that I was a "player", and decided to leave with her friend after all.

Escalation2: N/A
Cock: blocked.

Close2: N/A
Was hoping it wouldn't happen anyway.

[Interaction Rating]: 3
Things were going pretty decent with [Una], she was really nice, and we were having a lot of fun, then [Vivi] showed up to cock block just because she's jealous and rather small minded (she left with [Diesel], but she wasn't going to close with him either). Again, my fault for screwing up the venue logistics and trying to "assess" left and right. Also it's just as well because I shouldn't be doing any of this, and rather focusing on the "main" girl I'm pursuing right now. Any way you slice it, I deserved it.

 

[Chase]

Hey AFCnoob,

I don't actually see much you did wrong here. You went, talked to a girl, weren't feeling it, left, and met another one. All good so far.

The only part misplayed somewhat was when Vivi approached you. Instead of acting like she was some girl you chatted up who was out to cockblock you, I would've just played it off like she's part of the group, and you're just chilling out (for Una's benefit). Like so:

• Vivi: Hey, where are we going to next?
  
  You: I don't know what the group's up to. I'm still making up my own mind for myself.

Then talk about a guy friend:

• You: Diesel's got this one place he likes going to I know that's blah blah.

To Una, it sounds like you guys are just platonic friends, and she feels reassured. To Vivi, it makes it clear that you have zero interest and aren't intimidated; she'll head back and join the group. Then, you just get Una out of there and back home pronto.

Anyway, that one's a little disorienting first time you see it, but it's not hard to deal with once you figure it out. Just talk to her the same way you would if she was your cousin or your sister, or a guy friend for that matter.

Chase

 

[AFCnoob]

So right. It was the first time that some girl did this to me, and it was actually my own worry that made it blow up into that situation. [Vivi] could make no claim that I'd escalated with her, and so didn't have grounds to be upset, I should have totally done just that: talked to her in a friendly, obviously platonic way and moved her out. I'm sure [Una] wouldn't have gotten a weird vibe.

Live and learn. Thanks again for the sage advice, I'll know what to do next time!