Valentines Day - First Date And She Agreed To Come Straight To My Home

[Troy]

Edit: I realized how long this post had become, so I have moved all my questions to the top of the conversation and then the full interaction I had with the girl below.

Summary Of The Valentines Date And Questions​

Basically I met this girl at work last year. And she moved to a completely different department within my company. And I did not persue her until last Friday February 11 when I decided to ask her out for Valentines Day and she said yes. She even mentioned the fact she knows I want the pussy this Valentines Day.

If everything goes as planned, this will be the first time I would have managed to setup a booty call because she basically will be coming over to my house by 10PM. She even mentioned I can buy just cheap drinks and some chocolate. So I get the impression she is down to fuck.

Below this line, I have 2 categories. All my questions are under the topic "Questions: How To Bang Without The Family Finding Out". I asked this girl out via text so if the text conversation is relevant to understand, you can see that section under "Backstory And Conversation With Aurora".

Questions: How To Bang Without The Family Finding Out
​

I got my bachelor pad setup:

1. Clean bedroom and bathroom
2. Red Valentines Day candles
3. Twister game (I am going to propose me and her play this game as foreplay. That will get us in close proximity....getting her pussy in my face, and my dick in her face. And build the sexual tension).
4. I have lots of pillows on the bed
5. My laptop will be on with Youtube playing a freaky love song playlist on low.

But I still living with my parents. My parents are devoted Christians and so for YEARS I have had to hide the fact that I have sex with women.

For guys who have experience sneaking women into the house, can you share how you do it? And how do you tell the women to behave?

My parents typically come home from work at 8pm to 9pm. And I do expect Aurora to get to my home by 9pm - 10pm. Now my family is very noisy and they frequently have arguments so that's already a problem.

Also, my younger brother has some recent mental illness so he might do something crazy like bang on my room door for no reason. Or he might stay up till 5AM in the morning playing music in the hallway. So if Aurora (my date) needs to go the bathroom, he might see her, then call my Dad and then I will basically be embarassed in front of this young lady.

Knowing my Dad, he will jump right out of bed. And so will my Mom. And then they will start giving me a lecture about how fornication is wrong. And then they will start treatening to call the police. (I know this sounds weird and extreme. Something similar happened years ago and it turned into a bit problem at home).

The house has 2 bathrooms and I am a very clean guy so every weekend I clean the bathroom next to my room door. I have 3 younger siblings (2 brothers, 1 sister between ages 17-23) and they have a disgusting habit where they attempt to use the clean bathroom throughout the night.

The other bathroom, closest to my parents bedroom, none of my siblings wants to clean it. And even if I were to clean that bathroom, they keep flocking to use the bathroom next to my bedroom door. So I am worried that while I am fucking Aurora, they are going to hear. And God know what will happen after that. They will either:

1. Call my Dad and say "look at what Troy is doing. He is fornicating". And that will become one big argument. And I know this girl will never see me again if that happens.

2. They will definitely judge me harsly either while the girl is still in my bedroom or in the morning.

So my question is, what is a good way to explain to ladies to be quiet in my house? I obviously dont want to tell girls I live with my parents. I would rather lie and say I live with roommates. But I am not sure how to explain myself. What would you suggest?

Some girls I have had sex with tend to be a bit loud. How do I ask ladies to keep the screaming down. Basically I would be asking ladies to whisper. Also because my parents are Christians, it is a big no no for me to be playing any RNB or any other genre of music other than Christian music. And Aurora already told me via text "I want you to play these ____RNB songs.

If the girl asks me to play the music very loud, how would you recommend I explain to her that I cannot do that? She might start playing music with lots of expletives. Which I have no problem with. But that will attract the attention from my siblings and parents.

Fuck! My Dad believes men in this day and age should get married before having sex. Which is absolutely ridiculous.

I had a bad experience when I was 18 and it has traumatized me since. My neighbor who was also a Christian woman saw me bringing a girl home. And so my neighbor called my Mom. My Mom literally left from work to come home and first hand embarass me in front of a high school girl I just smashed.

So I am just really worried about that or anything worse happening again. And I really want to smash this Valentines Day and give my girl lots of orgasms.

Sad I gotta be here asking these questions. I know the obvious answer is "just move dude". And yes I do plan on moving out by the end of this year. But first I need to handle some more financial stuff.

Im hoping to get some help with this as I really want to get laid this Valentines Day.

Troy

Note: If how I met this girl and the text conversation is at all relevant for you to see and answer my questions, that section is right below this. Thanks

..................................................................................................................................................................................................

Backstory And Conversation With Aurora​

I met this girl at work. Lets call her Aurora. In June 2021 I was assigned to a new team leader at my job and each week we would meet via Zoom and the entire team would discuss different work related topics.

One day, via the Zoom call, me and Aurora had a little argument. Basically she was 100% in the wrong and my boss even called it out right there on the meeting. And I checked Aurora right there and then for bad behavior. I was not rude. I simply remained calm but very firm on my stance. So the meetings continue week after week and finally August rolls around.

My boss planned a team outing in August and for the first time me and Aurora meet face to face. She never saw me before so she did not know I was the guy who checked her on the last Zoom meeting. And her first words to me were "wow you are really cute. Are you Javi?". And I played to her frame telling her I was Jevi. Basically Jevi is a guy on the team who all the ladies at work like a lot so she thought I was Jevi.

But later on I revealed that my name was actually Troy. And her vibe changed from very interesting to lukewarm and curious to know who I really was. Througout the team outing, I flirted with all the ladies, including Aurora and she warmed up to me in less than an hour after we first met in person.

And by the end of the night, she was telling me how great of a guy I am. And every Zoom meeting after that, she was super friendly to me. She actually became more interested in talking to me on Zoom than she was talking to my boss or Jevi. Which was great in my opinion.

By the end of September, Aurora was however re-assigned to a completely different department in my company. We had this Whatsapp group going and before she exited the group, she specifically called my name and said "Troy feel free to message me anytime ".

Last year I was extremely focused on completing my certifications so I did not persue any further conversation with her. Until 2 days ago. So here is the conversation:

Reconnecting Texts To Ask Aurora Out​

February 10, 2022

8:07 PM - Troy: Hi Aurora. This is Troy. How things been?

8:20 PM - Aurora : Hey Troy, I’m here u good hun. It’s been a looonnnggggg time

8:20 PM - Aurora : I miss u guys

8:20 PM - Aurora : You alright?

8:25 PM - Troy: Lol loooong time indeed. I'm great, just here preparing for a photoshoot this weekend

8:26 PM - Troy: (Khaby the IG star GIF to say "simple just message me". Responding to the "I miss you guys" message)

8:39 PM - Aurora : Eeehhhh where

8:39 PM - Aurora : What’s the occasion

8:39 PM - Aurora : Lol ur a khabe lame fan too I love him

8:41 PM - Troy: Lol I watch all his stuff. The funniest one recently is...This guy cutting off his shirt to open a car door.l with a big scissors . Like dumb dude, just open the car door

8:42 PM - Troy: I'm updating my personal website so taking fresh pics

8:42 PM - Aurora : Nice how is work, I see u getting your kudos n a mash up Di place still

8:42 PM - Aurora : Is (boss name) still ur team lead?

8:43 PM - Aurora : Him talk bout no team outting since lately?

8:43 PM - Troy: Yes

8:43 PM - Troy: Definitely

8:43 PM - Aurora : Lol

8:43 PM - Troy: No outing since

8:44 PM - Troy: How's chat support?

8:45 PM - Aurora : Chat a gwane eno even tho it hard nah lie

8:45 PM - Aurora : Good opportunity tho

8:47 PM - Troy: Lol Kool. I was wondering, last time we spoke you said you were single. Are you currently single?

8:58 PM - Aurora : I am what’s up Troy

9:00 PM - Troy: I'd love to take you out on Valentine's Day...

9:02 PM - Aurora : Oh really Troy?

9:02 PM - Aurora : U want to take me out? I’m flattered n your sweet

9:03 PM - Aurora : Are you still single btw?

9:14 PM - Troy: Absolutely (responding to her message about "u want to take me out?...")

9:14 PM - Troy: Yeah I'm single. Been busy getting that lately

9:15 PM - Aurora : And where would you take me out Troy?

9:16 PM - Troy: I'm taking you on a nice dinner picnic. Under the stars. With good food and vibes

9:16 PM - Aurora : Dinner picnic?

9:16 PM - Aurora : Where is that

9:17 PM - Aurora : Just curious

9:19 PM - Troy: Bill Franklin Park

9:20 PM - Aurora : That sounds nice but risky

9:23 PM - Troy: Lol life is risky. I've done riskier things. What's risky about over there for you?

9:27 PM - Troy: When I was coming into this world, my mom's umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck and nearly strangled me. That was risky. But here I am today . May I take you out for Valentine's?

9:40 PM - Aurora : Yes you could but I think I’d like a different setting from the first one

9:42 PM - Troy: What kinda setting you thinking

9:52 PM - Aurora : Normal one at a restaurant

9:57 PM - Troy: Restaurants too full and noisy on Valentine's Day. I had a date last year and I we couldn't even have conversation because the place was noisy. I have another nice suggestion. I cook really well. How about you come over to my place? I'll cook and we chill, talk, get to know each other more?

10:01 PM - Aurora : Lol oh really and what would you cook for me Troy?

10:07 PM - Troy: Lol girl you play too much. I'll put together the best cuisine, you won't be able to tell if it's a restaurant chef or me. See you on Valentine's?

10:08 PM - Aurora : I don’t live kingston anymore though

10:09 PM - Troy: Where you live now

10:09 PM - Aurora : Port Mazzia (basically somewhere 2 hours and 33 minutes away or 64 miles)

10:10 PM - Troy: Damn. The other day they say we going back in office by April. You gonna travel from Port Mazzia to work daily

10:31 PM - Aurora : Who say we going in office

10:32 PM - Aurora : Lie you tell

10:32 PM - Aurora : That’s for persons on calls not chat

10:33 PM - Troy: I wish it was a lie. Working at home is the best and I would hate to go back in office

10:35 PM - Aurora : Remember the covid pandemic.... not everyone vaccinated and the government open the country next month, they will shut it down again in April.

10:35 PM - Aurora : No worry

10:35 PM - Troy: Anyhow if you thinking about the distance to travel from Kingston back to Portland, no worries. You could spend the night at my place? What's your favorite dish? I'll cook it with my favorite?

10:36 PM - Troy: Thats true. I think they may change the date

10:36 PM - Aurora : Your asking me if I can stay over yes but are you gonna gimme any trouble? (shit test)

10:38 PM - Troy: What you mean trouble? . I don't give trouble Aurora. Only good vibes

10:44 PM - Aurora : lol okay n where do you live

10:44 PM - Troy: I like in Harley Town

10:48 PM - Aurora : Isn't that a place where thieves reside?

10:50 PM - Troy: The place is very safe. I walk to buy pizza up the road weekly. Its basically a 2 minutes walk. The community is nice and chill. Taxis run often too. If you can get to the major city, I will call a taxi and pay them to bring you over to my place.

10:58 PM - Aurora : Oh really

11:01 PM - Troy: Yeah really. I think you are a really sweet girl. Confirming we meet on Valentine's Day?

Saturday February 12

1:14 AM - Troy: I actually agree with you. Yes I do live in a community full of thieves. In fact, its just as dangerous as walking in the major city in broad daylight or standing at the transportation center surrounded by others looking to go home. Basically everywhere in country has dangers. I get what you saying. You just want to feel safe and secure when you go out with a man. I get it. No prob, I know how to keep myself safe and any woman who goes anywhere with me safe. Let's go out on Valentine's Day?!! (Basically I am agreeing with her, relating, and also handling her objection. I double texted though because I felt my previous text was not sufficient.)

6:19 AM - Aurora : Aawww okay Troy, I understand and thanks for saying that. It’s a matter of feeling safe yes. Don’t worry about it and I’ll see you then

8:22 AM - Troy: Kool. Say we meet at 6pm on Monday?

8:39 AM - Aurora : Really?

8:39 AM - Aurora : What work schedule do you have on Monday?

9:15 AM - Troy: 9-6 shift I got. What time would work best for you?

9:18 AM - Troy: What shift you have

9:18 AM - Aurora : I don’t even know because my shift is 9:30 to 6:30 and I’m in the country unless I’m gonna ask to start early Monday so I can end early to come

9:22 AM - Troy: That's fine. Even if your boss gives you a late schedule, you can come anytime in the night. 9pm, 10pm anytime... So I'll get the food ready around that time. Let me know when you get the schedule. See you then

10:22 AM - Aurora : Let’s see how it work out hun

11:00 AM - Aurora : Look at my status for my request

11:05 AM - Troy: Ok I'm looking. No status as yet. But waiting

11:07 AM - Aurora : You dont see my status? Really?

11:08 AM - Troy: I don't. Screenshot and send please

11:19 AM - Aurora : Really

11:20 AM - Aurora : (She sends me a picture of a specific ice cream she wants and music she likes)

2/11/22, 11:38 AM - Troy: Lol aight sure

2/11/22, 11:40 AM - Aurora : Lol

PAUSE. This is where I attempted to end the conversation with her. I wanted to wait until Monday to text her again. But she decided to find a way to keep the conversation going.

Saturday February 12

2/12/22, 10:02 AM - Aurora : Are you doing good?

12:41 PM - Troy: Hey yeah I'm good. I'm on set now for my photoshoot. U good?

12:50 PM - Aurora : Trying to be

8:24 PM - Troy: (man hugging woman GIF)

8:38 PM - Aurora : Aawwww hey Troy

8:38 PM - Aurora : How are you?

8:47 PM - Troy: <Media omitted>

8:50 PM - Troy: I'm about to hit the showers then bed. While going up and down the place today, I stopped at a few supermarkets to inquire about the Twix Ice Cream. Honestly I never tried it before...but I love trying new foods. I stopped at 7 or 8 supermarket and they didn't sell it. I'll try one more in my area on Monday. If that's not available, which other ice cream or food do you love?

(Now that I think back on that message, I think I overshared info that I went to all those supermarkets. It sounds like I am chasing)

8:55 PM - Aurora : Oh my really aaawwww

8:56 PM - Aurora : It’s okay just get two or three twix chocolate and a nice cheap wine

8:58 PM - Aurora : Thank you so much for trying, your really sweet and thoughtful. Really hope everything works out even though I would say your only trying so hard to get the kitty (her pussy) and I’m scared. You sound like a nice guy though even though I’m not sure why you want to pursue me but what’s meant to be will be

9:00 PM - Troy: Trying hard? It wasn't a big deal really tbh. I selected to take photos in 3 different cities today so I was basically passing the supermarkets as I went along

9:10 PM - Troy: You are correct. What's meant to be, will be

9:18 PM - Aurora : You sound like your ready and wanting a relationship

9:18 PM - Aurora : Is this so?

9:24 PM - Troy: I'm dating at the moment. Tbh when I meet a beautiful woman, I always attempt to be as honest as possible. I don't respect the whole fuckboy movement so I'll set the expectation from early to never hurt a woman's feelings. I'm just dating right now. And if the vibe is good and thing, then a relationship can start. But I'm not out here openly looking for a relationship upfront.

(I attempted to follow Chase articles here. To basically disqualify myself as a boyfriend candidate so she does not slow game me. And also do some image damage from what I said earlier about going to 7-8 supermarkets)

9:27 PM - Troy: Why you scared? What's behind all that... just curious

9:48 PM - Troy: Did some dude hurt you in the past why you feeling scared? That's the vibe I'm getting now. I could understand that

9:49 PM - Aurora : Yes I’ve been hurt so many times but I’m good

10:04 PM - Troy: I understand. Actually if I found out someone was just doing something or pretending to be someone just to get what the hell they want, I would feel hurt as well. I've been there before tbh. And one thing I learnt was holding onto the past can actually prevent me from having a better future. So I move forward and stay positive each and every day.

(I relate and show empathy here. I believe this was a perfect time to do it)

10:04 PM - Troy: Umm what schedule you got by the way?

10:19 PM - Aurora : Good way of putting things n great way to look at it. My schedule is 9:30 to 6:30

 

[Troy]

Also...

What kinds of foods would you recommend I buy? I dont want to have any food or drinks that will make her have to be asking to go to the bathroom every minute.

I only have 1 chair in my room so I will be guiding her so we can sit on my bed. I was planning on putting on a movie and having that play while I escalate to sex. I think that will give me the perfect excuse to turn off the lights as the laptop will be playing.

I would then prop up some pillows and sit with her. Then escalate to the sex. I was thinking to start kissing her as we watch the movie. And slowly build tension from there. What is a good technique to go from watching a movie to taking her clothes off and finally having sex?

 

[Vision]

Yeah, the problem is that you're in a shitty situation, trying to deal with the problem.

The shitty situation is that you gave someone money and you wanted them to act a certain way because you gave it to them.

I'm not sure if you wrote a report on why you gave this girl money but I'm willing to bet...

The lesson is... don't give someone money unless you're doing it without any expectation of anything in return or ever getting it back.

The lesson is... don't attempt to buy a woman's time, affection, or interest and expect her to genuinely be interested in you.

If you do ever pay for things, pay for them because you're providing an experience or you're paying for her to come to you or away from you.

I had a Tinder ONS in Ukraine where I paid for an Uber for some girl to come from the outskirts of town to the center... I'm not giving her money, I paid for the Uber, with my own app.

Don't ever give anyone money... don't pay for their time or attention or affection (unless you know how to turn it around to your favor)... and don't expect anything in return when you do give people money or pay for something.

 

[climbingup]

Yeah, the problem is that you're in a shitty situation, trying to deal with the problem.

The shitty situation is that you gave someone money and you wanted them to act a certain way because you gave it to them.

I'm not sure if you wrote a report on why you gave this girl money but I'm willing to bet...

The lesson is... don't give someone money unless you're doing it without any expectation of anything in return or ever getting it back.

The lesson is... don't attempt to buy a woman's time, affection, or interest and expect her to genuinely be interested in you.

If you do ever pay for things, pay for them because you're providing an experience or you're paying for her to come to you or away from you.

I had a Tinder ONS in Ukraine where I paid for an Uber for some girl to come from the outskirts of town to the center... I'm not giving her money, I paid for the Uber, with my own app.

Don't ever give anyone money... don't pay for their time or attention or affection (unless you know how to turn it around to your favor)... and don't expect anything in return when you do give people money or pay for something.

If I may ask?

What's the difference between paying for a girl to come to you and paying a girl for her time?

 

[Skills]

If I may ask?

What's the difference between paying for a girl to come to you and paying a girl for her time?

Paying for an uber $20 Paying for an Ukraine escort $1000 silly question

 

[Vision]

If I may ask?

What's the difference between paying for a girl to come to you and paying a girl for her time?

The frame...

One frame is... "I'm a man who takes care of things" and the other frame is... "I need to give you something because you are more valuable than me/your time is more valuable than mine."

This is how money can be used to get you laid, you create a better experience because of it.

If I message a girl and she's like, "I'd love to come see you but I'm too broke to get to the center" and I'm like, "Send me your address, I'll send an Uber to you," I'm creating an experience, I'm solving a problem, she's now in my care, under my protection, in my world. I'm taking care of her.

Obviously, I still need to do the right things, set the right frames, lead the interaction where I want it to go...

If you give a girl money to spend time with you, you're telling her that she's more valuable than you are... so much so that you're giving her money just to hang out with you.

Does that make sense to you?

 

[Troy]

Yeah, the problem is that you're in a shitty situation, trying to deal with the problem.

The shitty situation is that you gave someone money and you wanted them to act a certain way because you gave it to them.

I'm not sure if you wrote a report on why you gave this girl money but I'm willing to bet...

The lesson is... don't give someone money unless you're doing it without any expectation of anything in return or ever getting it back.

Yes that was in my report. I gave the money to the girl because she said if I did not, she was going to cancel the date. And in the moment, I was more concerned with getting laid on Valentines Day, than I was with keeping $25.

Lessons I learnt:

1. Dont send money to women unless my dick has been in her 3 times (Chase)
2. If in the rare occasion I do have to send money to a woman to bring her to my home, even if she flakes, dont ever mention the money

I been thinking, maybe I was definitely in the wrong by asking back for the money. I wonder if it would be a good idea, to clear my conscience to send the money to her again? And apologize to her? And then walk away and not expect anything from her again.

Paying for an uber $20 Paying for an Ukraine escort $1000 silly question

LOL

 

[Vision]

Yes that was in my report. I gave the money to the girl because she said if I did not, she was going to cancel the date. And in the moment, I was more concerned with getting laid on Valentines Day, than I was with keeping $25.

Lessons I learnt:

1. Dont send money to women unless my dick has been in her 3 times (Chase)
2. If in the rare occasion I do have to send money to a woman to bring her to my home, even if she flakes, dont ever mention the money

I don't know what country you're in but I don't understand why you'd ever need to GIVE her any money for anything unless you were deep in a relationship with her.

WTF are you giving women money for? Just stop doing that shit altogether.

 

[climbingup]

The frame...

One frame is... "I'm a man who takes care of things" and the other frame is... "I need to give you something because you are more valuable than me/your time is more valuable than mine."

This is how money can be used to get you laid, you create a better experience because of it.

If I message a girl and she's like, "I'd love to come see you but I'm too broke to get to the center" and I'm like, "Send me your address, I'll send an Uber to you," I'm creating an experience, I'm solving a problem, she's now in my care, under my protection, in my world. I'm taking care of her.

Obviously, I still need to do the right things, set the right frames, lead the interaction where I want it to go...

If you give a girl money to spend time with you, you're telling her that she's more valuable than you are... so much so that you're giving her money just to hang out with you.

Does that make sense to you?

Thanks for explaining, yeah I understand

 

[Troy]

I don't know what country you're in but I don't understand why you'd ever need to GIVE her any money for anything unless you were deep in a relationship with her.

WTF are you giving women money for? Just stop doing that shit altogether.

I currently dont have a car. At the time I was thinking "mhmm if I had a nice car and I was driving to pick her up, it would have cost me time and gas. And since was broke and wanted to cancel the date, I said, sure why not. In the moment, I was more concerned about getting my dick wet than how much was in my wallet.

(Im just answering your question. Im not justifying what I did).

But I digress. You guys have already made it crystal clear to NOT send money to women unless I am in a relationship with them. I think if I had an abundance minset and more girls, I would not have cared if she said no to going out witih me for being broke. I think I would have simply found another girl to take out on Valentines Day.

 

[Don Giovanni]

Paying for an uber $20 Paying for an Ukraine escort $1000 silly question

You can get a hooker there for 30€ just sayin

 

[Skills]

so anyways, listen man game is about odds and strategies.... all we do with "game" is maximize the odds of getting the girl/lay/relationship.... As i told you, you got some written charisma, and you are decent, you are a good texter....... But in your texting:

- you did not use soft closes....

- you did not allow her to invest, you were doing all the investing....

but it was not bad, she was somewhat into you.... But from the get go it was just bad logistic, bad odds, horrible strategy when it comes to logistics...... Listing i lived with christian parents, i was broke just like you, my english was awful and i did not have guys that get laid to mentor me, it was trial and error.... but:

- she lived 21/2 hours away..... Really high probability of flaking a girl you have not even made out with or fucked

- you are asking her to come and sleep over...

- out of the blue you coming across as a provider/boyfriend, doing courtship stuff and screaming provider/boyfriend inviting a girl out to a courtship activity in valentines day....

^ all of these put massive pressure on women + 2 1/2 hour drive is massive compliance with a girl you have not fucked...


When i lived with my parents i racked up 100s of lays(so did mystery and many others), but it was not at my parents place, the girls i took to my parents i had already had sex with, this from the get go was a very low odds strategy plan, is like going to war with a bebe gun...


^ the whole strategy is HORRIBLE... Then you send her money come on bro!

 

[Tim Iron]

Fixing the meet up on valentine's day was the first mistake (which told her that you were single, horny and lonely). The summary of all your mistakes is that you over-invested in trying to get that girl.

 

[Troy]

so anyways, listen man game is about odds and strategies.... all we do with "game" is maximize the odds of getting the girl/lay/relationship.... As i told you, you got some written charisma, and you are decent, you are a good texter....... But in your texting:

- you did not use soft closes....

- you did not allow her to invest, you were doing all the investing....

but it was not bad, she was somewhat into you.... But from the get go it was just bad logistic, bad odds, horrible strategy when it comes to logistics...... Listing i lived with christian parents, i was broke just like you, my english was awful and i did not have guys that get laid to mentor me, it was trial and error.... but:

- she lived 21/2 hours away..... Really high probability of flaking a girl you have not even made out with or fucked

- you are asking her to come and sleep over...

- out of the blue you coming across as a provider/boyfriend, doing courtship stuff and screaming provider/boyfriend inviting a girl out to a courtship activity in valentines day....

^ all of these put massive pressure on women + 2 1/2 hour drive is massive compliance with a girl you have not fucked...


When i lived with my parents i racked up 100s of lays(so did mystery and many others), but it was not at my parents place, the girls i took to my parents i had already had sex with, this from the get go was a very low odds strategy plan, is like going to war with a bebe gun...


^ the whole strategy is HORRIBLE... Then you send her money come on bro!

I dont know what a soft close is, but I googled the term and found this:

"A soft close is based on a suggestion that leads buyers to believe they are acting of their own free will, when in fact they have been directed to follow an action"

This is a good topic. Moderators, anyone else got an article on Girls Chase about using soft closes with women? That would save Skills from having to explain it to me. Thanks

My takeaways from what you said @Skills is:

1. Avoid going on dates with women if they live extremely far away. Especially if the girl has to do most of the work to get to me and I have not slept with her before.

2. Dont send women money.

3. Ask her to invest. One example I could think of is since she wanted me to buy Ice Cream, I could have asked her to buy chocolate. That way she had some preparation to do as well.

Fixing the meet up on valentine's day was the first mistake (which told her that you were single, horny and lonely). The summary of all your mistakes is that you over-invested in trying to get that girl.

I see what you are saying. I guess a better strategy then... next year I can ask a girl out weeks prior to Valentines Day, fuck her then. And then when Valentines Day comes around, I just invite her over as usual. Got it!

The Money Ask​

After how things ended, there is a very high probability there is no way to turn things around with this girl. I live and I learn. For documentation purposes, I will paste the rest of the conversation below and attempt to analyze my own mistakes. For anyone that is super busy, it is 100% optional to read everything below this line. Here we go:

Saturday February 12

10:04 PM - Troy: Umm what schedule did you get by the way?
10:19 PM - Aurora: Good way of putting things n great way to look at it. My schedule is 9:30 to 6:30
10:37 PM - Troy: Cool. I don't know how far (her city) is from (my city). About how long is the drive to (my city)?

Sunday February 13

6:35 AM - Aurora: Hour. Lol hour n a half

7:08 AM - Troy: Cool cool. Alright when you almost reach the city, send me a message and I'll direct you further.

7:09 AM - Aurora: Lol u know I have to spend up a lot of money, am I gonna get it back?

7:12 AM - Troy: This must be a test (laughing emoji) . I'm a treat you right girl. But I ain't giving no transport money. However when Tuesday morning roll around, I'll call a taxi and pay them to take us to the main city.

7:16 AM - Aurora: Wow that’s what u said, that’s a little harsh huh

7:18 AM - Troy: I really don't know a better way to say it. I'm a treat you good though. See ya tomorrow?

7:21 AM - Aurora: You said you not giving me no transport money and if one time taxi alone you are going to pay then I need to find my way out with the rest. I’m good (Right here I freaked out. It was just hours before Valentines Day and she was the only chick I was in contact with)

7:24 AM - Troy: I'm not trying to be harsh. I just never been asked that before. I think you are a sweet girl and I ask you out. I'm will buy the food and get everything else together.

7:28 AM - Troy: How much is the transport cost?

(This is the moment I had my calculator up. I like expensive stuff, and my dream car is a Mercedes Benz. So when I thought about it. If I were a high earning guy, I would have asked her to take public transport to the main city and then I would have driven to pick her up. And a nice Mercedez Benz of my choice is $150,000 USD. So I thought to myself. Why not act like that guy from now and just give her the money.)

7:29 AM - Aurora: I doubt you want to hear

7:30 AM - Troy: I wanna hear. I'll just treat the transport cost as if I were driving to come pick you up

7:34 AM - Aurora: Lol

7:37 AM - Troy: How much? I'll give you the money. It ain't that big of a deal tbh

7:37 AM - Aurora: $25 USD (thinking emoji)

7:39 AM - Troy: I thought it be more. No prob I'll give you $25 USD

7:42 AM - Aurora: Lol oh really. What u said u gonna prepare? U gonna cook or buy food

7:45 AM - Troy: Yeah really. $25 USD ain't a lot to me

7:46 AM - Troy: (respond to the what I gonna cook message) Both. Yeah got a special diet? Vegan or something I should know about? Otherwise it's a surprise Valentine's Day dinner

8:05 AM - Aurora: Lol surprise? I am not used to these things Troy, honestly. I’m not a vegan at the same time I don’t eat lobster, I can eat shrimp and fish. I don’t eat salt mackerel or reddening. Don’t eat kidney or liver lolz yup. From its none of those, we good

8:17 AM - Troy: Mackerel for the first date (laughing emoji). Thinking about it making me laugh. I'd never do some foolishness like that. Big Jack Mackerel date (4 laughing emoji) No this take the cake. Yet everything you mentioned not to get, I wasn't gonna prepare. We good. So I'm a go handle some chores now. Talk more tomorrow and send me a text when you are near to the city.

8:28 AM - Aurora: Okay hun (upside down smile face emoji) enjoy your day hun

9:29 AM - Troy: Yep. You too

She texts back in the evening Feb 13. But I am busy so I dont see this till Monday morning Feb 14

6:53 PM - Aurora: Hey Troy, would it be too much for you to send the funds to my account from now please? (eye emoji)

7:41 PM - Aurora: Do you hear Troy. I don’t have no cash on me so if you can send it to my (bank account details shared). Would appreciate it please.

Valentines Day Text Conversation (Feb 14) - When The Money Was Sent​

4:27 AM - Troy: Hey I'm just seeing this. One moment

6:22 AM - Aurora: Ohok you gonna send it (eye emoji)

6:23 AM - Troy: Yeah I'm going to send it shortly

6:29 AM - Aurora: Okay

7:11 AM - Aurora: Did u send it?

7:11 AM - Troy: (screenshot of the payment sent to her bank)

7:12 AM - Aurora: Ohokay thank you dearest. Good morning Troy. How are you feeling this morning?

7:14 AM - Troy: Yep. Send me a message when you leaving out and near the city. I'll direct you further Good morning Aurora. I'm feeling great. Hope you good too. Im about to go take a morning run then get on with the day. Talk later (closed eyes smile emoji)

7:34 AM - Aurora: Okay dearest

Date And She Should Be On Her Way​

She gets off work at 6:30PM. And we know women can take their own time to get ready for dates. So I give her about a hour and a half before I message her.

8:10 PM - Troy: Hey you a pretty up and thing (cracking up smile emoji)

(She is on Whatsapp. Status says online. But no response. Ok so I wait)

9:00 PM - Troy: Hey what's going on?

9:05 PM - Troy: If you running late, can at least give me an update

(I call her phone 2-3 times)

9:09 PM - Aurora: Won’t be able to make it. Sorry

9:29 PM - Troy: Ok. I'm not pleased with this. How can you make this up? Would you suggest rescheduling for another day?

(BIG PAUSE: This was a mistake. I should have remained more calm despite her flaking)

9:31 PM - Troy: I'm a very understanding and chill guy once I understand what's going on. Could you answer my call? I just wanna talk with you a little and see how we can make amends? I spent a lot of time cooking this evening

(BIG PAUSE: I started really chasing here. In the moment, this text sounded like I was just trying to be chill. But now I am reading it, it sounds a little desperate. It sounded like I was going to die if she did not come over).

9:33 PM - Troy: (I send her a picture of the food) I spent time doing this. Could you share what happened why you couldn't make it? At least I'll be able to wrap my head around it. I'm seeking to understand where you are coming from before I jump to any conclusions.

(She is online the entire time obviously texting or on a call with someone else)

9:35 PM - Troy: What happened? Was it transportation issues like bus not running? You met another man you would rather spend the night with? You had some family emergency? What happened? I'm starting to feel deeply hurt by this. Something like this never happened to me before.

(BIG PAUSE: Ok that last message was chasing as hell. I should have removed the "met another man" part. And removed the "Im starting to feel deeply hurt" down to the end of that statement. That showed weakness.

My overview is in the moment, I had just spent 3 hours in the evening preparing. I walked and stood in line at a restaurant to buy the chicken. I spent time cooking the mashed potatoes and plantains. And I spent time in the supermarket line buying Black Forest cake.

All in all, that was a lot of work and I over invested. So in the moment, I felt deeply insulted that she did not have anytime to say. And if you look at the time stamps, she was replying very fast from Thursday into Monday morning.

She was online the entire time. I had put the phone down for a moment. And when I came back minutes to 10PM, her Whatsapp display picture went black. Her last seen was invisible. It showed she read the message 21 minutes ago.

SHE BLOCKED ME. DAMN

So now I am in freak out mode. This is when I actually started feeling the pain. Honestly, if she had just replied with a more decent apology and explained what happened, I would have remained calm. All I wanted was to now what happened. Seriously!

If she had transport issues or some emergency, I would have just said "no worry. Hope you enjoy the night. Im going to watch a movie and invite someone else over. Good night".

Sleeping That Night And Monday Morning Rumble​

This rejection hurt bad. If anyone has ever fell off a bike, or broke a bone, you know the feeling. The entire night, my body felt numb. The pain was so much that even my knees and elbows felt like they were broken. Tears came to my eyes that night as I sat there attempting to eat off all the food.

Then Monday morning came. She still had not responded to my message. Honestly looking back now, I should have never gone to the police. But that's what happened. For those who did not see that story, I went to the police and they handled the matter. Aurora agreed to send the money back to me.

When I got back from the police station, me and her had a lengthy conversation via text. I was basically trying to get her to understand where I was coming from. And she was basically rattling off insults to me. Anyways I gave her my account number. And here is the last text she sent to me:

Tuesday February 15

8:18 AM - Aurora: U just love argument

8:18 AM - Troy: (bank account number)

8:18 AM - Aurora: Long fucking time you should have sent it

8:18 AM - Troy: Confirm once you send it. We done

8:19 AM - Aurora: You are a stinking dog shit. You spoil rotten egg, stink like poop

8:23 AM - Aurora: You don’t negotiate with me after you threaten me. You should be glad I am giving you the fucking money. And I hope after after I send this receipt germs. You avoid me on every level because I am going to report you for Harrassment and I will get a Restraining order, you man Child.

First man I see do this to rass. You ago station because you send woman money and dont get what you want. Do u know how that make u look? And I hope you don’t bring this at work, at the same time we not on the same account or Team. Thank god!!!!! Glad I never fuck you because my Pussy too good fi disease like you, you come eh like Cancer. Deadly

10:26 AM - Aurora: (screenshot of the money sent)

10:28 AM - Aurora: See yuh money there, have a nice life. I don’t want nothing to do with u cause your very manipulative n controlling. I see the reason why your not with anyone because you a very petty and you will go the extreme. Your the type of man who will kill woman once them hurt your feelings and Man like you should be in prison because you make crime go on in the country.

10:46 AM - Aurora: (she deleted something)

10:47 AM - Aurora: Don’t call or text back my phone and I hope you dont do nothing more foolish especially because two of us work same place and I gave you ur money back. We shouldnt have any problems because we don’t interact neither are we on the same account. I’m glad you show yourself still cause I dodge not only a bullet but a big bomb. Your very pathetic and weak, you felt away because of $25.

(She shares a very confidential story here)

But u get upset and in your feelings because a $25 plus you cook food and wanted sex?…. I pray that god give any woman you are with strength because your intentions were never good that’s why everything blow up. I hope learnt something from I said sir because manipulation, deceitfulness and abuse is what killed my dad and if you continue you will end up just like him. Have a good life, won’t say a word sir and you better not bring this up because I would hate to let people know who you really are. Good bye!

Thats A Wrap​

This was a tragic experience in my opinion. I definitely see some of the mistakes I made. That said, this girl does not see how she contributed to the problem. All in all, this was deceit. She had zero respect or consideration. She knew beforehand I was cooking food for 2. So she could have at least had the basic human respect to let me know what happened.

Honestly, if she had done that one thing, this whole thing would not have blown out of proportion. Regards to what she said about the sex. While I did want to get laid. Neither getting laid or getting the money is a huge concern.

The only reason I went into chase mode is because I felt disrespected by the way she took the money, flaked last minute, then blocked me. Thats all.

That wraps up this entire situation. I showed the converstion to my best friend, who is a woman and she let me know this girl is: toxic, abusive, and she was actually trying to scam me out of the money.

So all in all, I learnt a lesson to not send money to women again like this.

 

[POB]

I gave the money to the girl because she said if I did not, she was going to cancel the date. And in the moment, I was more concerned with getting laid on Valentines Day, than I was with keeping $25.

You did it because you were needy.
This is the root of all your problems.
Fix this ASAP, or you will do it again.
Just remember:

Either you are a whole person and being who you are is enough...or you are not and need others to validate you.
There's no in-between, so you gotta choose every single day of your life.

As a side note, why do you care about Valentines?
It's just a commercial date created to make us spend money on useless stuff that is not even for us.
I've always avoided it like the plague, even with my mains (hate to spend money on BS).

 

[Searcher]

I dont know what a soft close is, but I googled the term and found this:

"A soft close is based on a suggestion that leads buyers to believe they are acting of their own free will, when in fact they have been directed to follow an action"

This is a good topic. Moderators, anyone else got an article on Girls Chase about using soft closes with women? That would save Skills from having to explain it to me. Thanks

My takeaways from what you said @Skills is:

1. Avoid going on dates with women if they live extremely far away. Especially if the girl has to do most of the work to get to me and I have not slept with her before.

2. Dont send women money.

3. Ask her to invest. One example I could think of is since she wanted me to buy Ice Cream, I could have asked her to buy chocolate. That way she had some preparation to do as well.



I see what you are saying. I guess a better strategy then... next year I can ask a girl out weeks prior to Valentines Day, fuck her then. And then when Valentines Day comes around, I just invite her over as usual. Got it!

The Money Ask​

After how things ended, there is a very high probability there is no way to turn things around with this girl. I live and I learn. For documentation purposes, I will paste the rest of the conversation below and attempt to analyze my own mistakes. For anyone that is super busy, it is 100% optional to read everything below this line. Here we go:

Saturday February 12

10:04 PM - Troy: Umm what schedule did you get by the way?
10:19 PM - Aurora: Good way of putting things n great way to look at it. My schedule is 9:30 to 6:30
10:37 PM - Troy: Cool. I don't know how far (her city) is from (my city). About how long is the drive to (my city)?

Sunday February 13

6:35 AM - Aurora: Hour. Lol hour n a half

7:08 AM - Troy: Cool cool. Alright when you almost reach the city, send me a message and I'll direct you further.

7:09 AM - Aurora: Lol u know I have to spend up a lot of money, am I gonna get it back?

7:12 AM - Troy: This must be a test (laughing emoji) . I'm a treat you right girl. But I ain't giving no transport money. However when Tuesday morning roll around, I'll call a taxi and pay them to take us to the main city.

7:16 AM - Aurora: Wow that’s what u said, that’s a little harsh huh

7:18 AM - Troy: I really don't know a better way to say it. I'm a treat you good though. See ya tomorrow?

7:21 AM - Aurora: You said you not giving me no transport money and if one time taxi alone you are going to pay then I need to find my way out with the rest. I’m good (Right here I freaked out. It was just hours before Valentines Day and she was the only chick I was in contact with)

7:24 AM - Troy: I'm not trying to be harsh. I just never been asked that before. I think you are a sweet girl and I ask you out. I'm will buy the food and get everything else together.

7:28 AM - Troy: How much is the transport cost?

(This is the moment I had my calculator up. I like expensive stuff, and my dream car is a Mercedes Benz. So when I thought about it. If I were a high earning guy, I would have asked her to take public transport to the main city and then I would have driven to pick her up. And a nice Mercedez Benz of my choice is $150,000 USD. So I thought to myself. Why not act like that guy from now and just give her the money.)

7:29 AM - Aurora: I doubt you want to hear

7:30 AM - Troy: I wanna hear. I'll just treat the transport cost as if I were driving to come pick you up

7:34 AM - Aurora: Lol

7:37 AM - Troy: How much? I'll give you the money. It ain't that big of a deal tbh

7:37 AM - Aurora: $25 USD (thinking emoji)

7:39 AM - Troy: I thought it be more. No prob I'll give you $25 USD

7:42 AM - Aurora: Lol oh really. What u said u gonna prepare? U gonna cook or buy food

7:45 AM - Troy: Yeah really. $25 USD ain't a lot to me

7:46 AM - Troy: (respond to the what I gonna cook message) Both. Yeah got a special diet? Vegan or something I should know about? Otherwise it's a surprise Valentine's Day dinner

8:05 AM - Aurora: Lol surprise? I am not used to these things Troy, honestly. I’m not a vegan at the same time I don’t eat lobster, I can eat shrimp and fish. I don’t eat salt mackerel or reddening. Don’t eat kidney or liver lolz yup. From its none of those, we good

8:17 AM - Troy: Mackerel for the first date (laughing emoji). Thinking about it making me laugh. I'd never do some foolishness like that. Big Jack Mackerel date (4 laughing emoji) No this take the cake. Yet everything you mentioned not to get, I wasn't gonna prepare. We good. So I'm a go handle some chores now. Talk more tomorrow and send me a text when you are near to the city.

8:28 AM - Aurora: Okay hun (upside down smile face emoji) enjoy your day hun

9:29 AM - Troy: Yep. You too

She texts back in the evening Feb 13. But I am busy so I dont see this till Monday morning Feb 14

6:53 PM - Aurora: Hey Troy, would it be too much for you to send the funds to my account from now please? (eye emoji)

7:41 PM - Aurora: Do you hear Troy. I don’t have no cash on me so if you can send it to my (bank account details shared). Would appreciate it please.

Valentines Day Text Conversation (Feb 14) - When The Money Was Sent​

4:27 AM - Troy: Hey I'm just seeing this. One moment

6:22 AM - Aurora: Ohok you gonna send it (eye emoji)

6:23 AM - Troy: Yeah I'm going to send it shortly

6:29 AM - Aurora: Okay

7:11 AM - Aurora: Did u send it?

7:11 AM - Troy: (screenshot of the payment sent to her bank)

7:12 AM - Aurora: Ohokay thank you dearest. Good morning Troy. How are you feeling this morning?

7:14 AM - Troy: Yep. Send me a message when you leaving out and near the city. I'll direct you further Good morning Aurora. I'm feeling great. Hope you good too. Im about to go take a morning run then get on with the day. Talk later (closed eyes smile emoji)

7:34 AM - Aurora: Okay dearest

Date And She Should Be On Her Way​

She gets off work at 6:30PM. And we know women can take their own time to get ready for dates. So I give her about a hour and a half before I message her.

8:10 PM - Troy: Hey you a pretty up and thing (cracking up smile emoji)

(She is on Whatsapp. Status says online. But no response. Ok so I wait)

9:00 PM - Troy: Hey what's going on?

9:05 PM - Troy: If you running late, can at least give me an update

(I call her phone 2-3 times)

9:09 PM - Aurora: Won’t be able to make it. Sorry

9:29 PM - Troy: Ok. I'm not pleased with this. How can you make this up? Would you suggest rescheduling for another day?

(BIG PAUSE: This was a mistake. I should have remained more calm despite her flaking)

9:31 PM - Troy: I'm a very understanding and chill guy once I understand what's going on. Could you answer my call? I just wanna talk with you a little and see how we can make amends? I spent a lot of time cooking this evening

(BIG PAUSE: I started really chasing here. In the moment, this text sounded like I was just trying to be chill. But now I am reading it, it sounds a little desperate. It sounded like I was going to die if she did not come over).

9:33 PM - Troy: (I send her a picture of the food) I spent time doing this. Could you share what happened why you couldn't make it? At least I'll be able to wrap my head around it. I'm seeking to understand where you are coming from before I jump to any conclusions.

(She is online the entire time obviously texting or on a call with someone else)

9:35 PM - Troy: What happened? Was it transportation issues like bus not running? You met another man you would rather spend the night with? You had some family emergency? What happened? I'm starting to feel deeply hurt by this. Something like this never happened to me before.

(BIG PAUSE: Ok that last message was chasing as hell. I should have removed the "met another man" part. And removed the "Im starting to feel deeply hurt" down to the end of that statement. That showed weakness.

My overview is in the moment, I had just spent 3 hours in the evening preparing. I walked and stood in line at a restaurant to buy the chicken. I spent time cooking the mashed potatoes and plantains. And I spent time in the supermarket line buying Black Forest cake.

All in all, that was a lot of work and I over invested. So in the moment, I felt deeply insulted that she did not have anytime to say. And if you look at the time stamps, she was replying very fast from Thursday into Monday morning.

She was online the entire time. I had put the phone down for a moment. And when I came back minutes to 10PM, her Whatsapp display picture went black. Her last seen was invisible. It showed she read the message 21 minutes ago.

SHE BLOCKED ME. DAMN

So now I am in freak out mode. This is when I actually started feeling the pain. Honestly, if she had just replied with a more decent apology and explained what happened, I would have remained calm. All I wanted was to now what happened. Seriously!

If she had transport issues or some emergency, I would have just said "no worry. Hope you enjoy the night. Im going to watch a movie and invite someone else over. Good night".

Sleeping That Night And Monday Morning Rumble​

This rejection hurt bad. If anyone has ever fell off a bike, or broke a bone, you know the feeling. The entire night, my body felt numb. The pain was so much that even my knees and elbows felt like they were broken. Tears came to my eyes that night as I sat there attempting to eat off all the food.

Then Monday morning came. She still had not responded to my message. Honestly looking back now, I should have never gone to the police. But that's what happened. For those who did not see that story, I went to the police and they handled the matter. Aurora agreed to send the money back to me.

When I got back from the police station, me and her had a lengthy conversation via text. I was basically trying to get her to understand where I was coming from. And she was basically rattling off insults to me. Anyways I gave her my account number. And here is the last text she sent to me:

Tuesday February 15

8:18 AM - Aurora: U just love argument

8:18 AM - Troy: (bank account number)

8:18 AM - Aurora: Long fucking time you should have sent it

8:18 AM - Troy: Confirm once you send it. We done

8:19 AM - Aurora: You are a stinking dog shit. You spoil rotten egg, stink like poop

8:23 AM - Aurora: You don’t negotiate with me after you threaten me. You should be glad I am giving you the fucking money. And I hope after after I send this receipt germs. You avoid me on every level because I am going to report you for Harrassment and I will get a Restraining order, you man Child.

First man I see do this to rass. You ago station because you send woman money and dont get what you want. Do u know how that make u look? And I hope you don’t bring this at work, at the same time we not on the same account or Team. Thank god!!!!! Glad I never fuck you because my Pussy too good fi disease like you, you come eh like Cancer. Deadly

10:26 AM - Aurora: (screenshot of the money sent)

10:28 AM - Aurora: See yuh money there, have a nice life. I don’t want nothing to do with u cause your very manipulative n controlling. I see the reason why your not with anyone because you a very petty and you will go the extreme. Your the type of man who will kill woman once them hurt your feelings and Man like you should be in prison because you make crime go on in the country.

10:46 AM - Aurora: (she deleted something)

10:47 AM - Aurora: Don’t call or text back my phone and I hope you dont do nothing more foolish especially because two of us work same place and I gave you ur money back. We shouldnt have any problems because we don’t interact neither are we on the same account. I’m glad you show yourself still cause I dodge not only a bullet but a big bomb. Your very pathetic and weak, you felt away because of $25.

(She shares a very confidential story here)

But u get upset and in your feelings because a $25 plus you cook food and wanted sex?…. I pray that god give any woman you are with strength because your intentions were never good that’s why everything blow up. I hope learnt something from I said sir because manipulation, deceitfulness and abuse is what killed my dad and if you continue you will end up just like him. Have a good life, won’t say a word sir and you better not bring this up because I would hate to let people know who you really are. Good bye!

Thats A Wrap​

This was a tragic experience in my opinion. I definitely see some of the mistakes I made. That said, this girl does not see how she contributed to the problem. All in all, this was deceit. She had zero respect or consideration. She knew beforehand I was cooking food for 2. So she could have at least had the basic human respect to let me know what happened.

Honestly, if she had done that one thing, this whole thing would not have blown out of proportion. Regards to what she said about the sex. While I did want to get laid. Neither getting laid or getting the money is a huge concern.

The only reason I went into chase mode is because I felt disrespected by the way she took the money, flaked last minute, then blocked me. Thats all.

That wraps up this entire situation. I showed the converstion to my best friend, who is a woman and she let me know this girl is: toxic, abusive, and she was actually trying to scam me out of the money.

So all in all, I learnt a lesson to not send money to women again like this.

That's one angry girl.
Her insults are so childish 'stinking poop, rotten egg' LMAO.

When you look at this you can see how much you got invested in such a toxic girl. This is a nice lesson as to whenever in the future you feel like you missed out on gold, you can remember this and know that nothing is as big as it seems, not everything that shines is gold.

Catch yourself when you get Emotionally invested in something and go logical to see whether it's even worth it.

It's best to leave her be without insulting her back, you now have proof of her as a person and when she calms down I bet she is going to look at this and know the power to destroy her is with you now.

 

[Troy]

You did it because you were needy.
This is the root of all your problems.
Fix this ASAP, or you will do it again.
Just remember:

Either you are a whole person and being who you are is enough...or you are not and need others to validate you.
There's no in-between, so you gotta choose every single day of your life.

I appreciate the feedback. I did a quick search and found these articles which I will read more on:

How to Not be Needy: Small Scarcity & Big Scarcity

The other day, one of the advanced members of our Girls Chase forums asked me about how you root out scarcity in all its forms, and how to resist the sometimes overpowering urge to give into it. Scarcity can spring naturally from the situations you find yourself in, but it may also be...

www.girlschase.com

What is Neediness, and Why Do Guys Get Needy Over Girls?

Why do guys get needy for girls? Neediness stems from approval seeking and/or expectation… Yet it’s not an emotion you want. Neediness happens when you feel under threat. It’s a sign one lacks something... but wants it – desperately. Yet desperation is a big neon sign to vultures, and a...

www.girlschase.com

Im reading those articles not in response to what you said. Two of the things that both Chase and Varoon said that I will take away as the first step I need to take is:

"The clearer your mission is and the more focused on realizing it you are, the less time you have for poorly matched diversions." by Chase article

"Focus on your mission.
Know your values, principles, and personal standards. Abide by them with no exceptions.
Find the girls YOU most desire, and raise your standards.
Quality over quantity."

By Varoon article

Honestly when I look back at this entire interaction, I do realize I am not in the mindset to be dating on this level. Im facing up and tons of rejections and downs in the financial aspect. So what I gather from those 2 snippets from Varoon and Chase is I need to get closer to my mission.

Right now, my mission is all over the place. So I am going to have to consider putting dating on the back burner. And get to the money. Like I see what Skills was saying. If I was earning 6 figures and I sent a chick $25 and she flaked, I know I would not have cared one bit. And with more personal power, I would have been able to stick closer to my values and simply decline going out with her in the first place.

Guess I will need to think long and hard if I need to just go backburn women, celibate for now and focus on getting the money first.

As a side note, why do you care about Valentines?
It's just a commercial date created to make us spend money on useless stuff that is not even for us.
I've always avoided it like the plague, even with my mains (hate to spend money on BS).

I honestly dont care about Valentines Day. What I care about is the fact that no woman wants to be home alone with a finger, cucumber or vibrator in their pussy. So I use this time of year as a good opportunity to get some pussy.

Troy

 

[Skills]

I appreciate the feedback. I did a quick search and found these articles which I will read more on:

How to Not be Needy: Small Scarcity & Big Scarcity

The other day, one of the advanced members of our Girls Chase forums asked me about how you root out scarcity in all its forms, and how to resist the sometimes overpowering urge to give into it. Scarcity can spring naturally from the situations you find yourself in, but it may also be...

www.girlschase.com

What is Neediness, and Why Do Guys Get Needy Over Girls?

Why do guys get needy for girls? Neediness stems from approval seeking and/or expectation… Yet it’s not an emotion you want. Neediness happens when you feel under threat. It’s a sign one lacks something... but wants it – desperately. Yet desperation is a big neon sign to vultures, and a...

www.girlschase.com

Im reading those articles not in response to what you said. Two of the things that both Chase and Varoon said that I will take away as the first step I need to take is:

"The clearer your mission is and the more focused on realizing it you are, the less time you have for poorly matched diversions." by Chase article

"Focus on your mission.
Know your values, principles, and personal standards. Abide by them with no exceptions.
Find the girls YOU most desire, and raise your standards.
Quality over quantity."

By Varoon article

Honestly when I look back at this entire interaction, I do realize I am not in the mindset to be dating on this level. Im facing up and tons of rejections and downs in the financial aspect. So what I gather from those 2 snippets from Varoon and Chase is I need to get closer to my mission.

Right now, my mission is all over the place. So I am going to have to consider putting dating on the back burner. And get to the money. Like I see what Skills was saying. If I was earning 6 figures and I sent a chick $25 and she flaked, I know I would not have cared one bit. And with more personal power, I would have been able to stick closer to my values and simply decline going out with her in the first place.

Guess I will need to think long and hard if I need to just go backburn women, celibate for now and focus on getting the money first.



I honestly dont care about Valentines Day. What I care about is the fact that no woman wants to be home alone with a finger, cucumber or vibrator in their pussy. So I use this time of year as a good opportunity to get some pussy.

Troy

You would benefit from models by Mark Manson and no.more Mr nice guy by glober, those are better more complete resources to tackle neediness.... also it was brought up to my attention that your text lack flirting, teasing, sexualization

 

[Chase]

One note --

But I digress. You guys have already made it crystal clear to NOT send money to women unless I am in a relationship with them.

Yes. This is the bare minimum requirement (shagged at least 3x; girl is converted). If you absolutely MUST give a woman money, don't do it unless she is yours.

That said, building on what @Vision said here:

I don't know what country you're in but I don't understand why you'd ever need to GIVE her any money for anything unless you were deep in a relationship with her.

WTF are you giving women money for? Just stop doing that shit altogether.

Maybe it is a thing in the Caribbean, I'm not sure. But having picked up on four continents, I can say that in no country I've been in or had a girlfriend in has it been customary to give women money, nor have I ever done it.

I have had girls in poor countries try to scam money out of me on occasion. Sometimes they are pure scammers who don't want sex but sometimes there is actually sex mixed in, which makes it extra special weird. One minute you guys are fooling around, the next minute she is accusing you of having ripped her shirt when you undressed her and now that you're out walking around after leaving the hotel she wants you to spring for a $200 shirt (when a needle and thread would do... if you even actually ripped her shirt, which you probably didn't).

So, not knowing how it is in your location, I threw that "minimum of 3x shags" stipulation in there. Maybe there is some reason in some country men would give money to women they are in a relationship with... like in Asia men will have mistresses they pay for apartments for and give spending money to where they go shag those mistresses while they're not with their wives. One apartment complex I lived in in Asia was full of rich dudes' 20-something mistresses, basically just a huge building of chicks who didn't work and went shopping all the time and lived off rich dudes and were constantly horny because the old guy was only piping them like once every week or two. But I suppose if you're old and rich and you just want some young strange on the side you have easy access to maybe that might make sense.

If you ask me though, the only woman you should be giving money to is the one who is raising your child, which you know is yours because the paternity test came back positive, or else because you have her so thoroughly locked down it's certain it's yours.

Otherwise, I dunno what you'd be paying women money for. Money is paid for services rendered. Unless she is going to paint your portrait or something I'd skip on that deal... even then, I do not like the idea of hiring your woman. Just messes the whole dynamic up.

Chase

 

[Vision]

I can see how you got caught up in that and ended up sending her money. Definitely a learning lesson for you...

In the future, if you're going to pay for a woman's transport, either use an app (like Uber) or pay the driver after he's already dropped her off (if you want to protect yourself even more, you can call the cab company, have them send someone there and then pay him when he gets to you)...

What you don't do is send money to her bank account. That's never necessary.

Taxis don't need to be paid until they drop the person off. You can pay him directly. If she's trying to get you to pay her, there's something fishy going on (and not the good kind of fishy). And if she'll only take your money and not let you pay the driver or send her an Uber, she's straight up trying to scam you.