Valentines Day - First Date And She Agreed To Come Straight To My Home

[Troy]

I can see how you got caught up in that and ended up sending her money. Definitely a learning lesson for you...

In the future, if you're going to pay for a woman's transport, either use an app (like Uber) or pay the driver after he's already dropped her off (if you want to protect yourself even more, you can call the cab company, have them send someone there and then pay him when he gets to you)...

What you don't do is send money to her bank account. That's never necessary.

Taxis don't need to be paid until they drop the person off. You can pay him directly. If she's trying to get you to pay her, there's something fishy going on (and not the good kind of fishy). And if she'll only take your money and not let you pay the driver or send her an Uber, she's straight up trying to scam you.

Good points.

Im going to translate that to my country. She lives in the country area and what she would have done is to take 2-3 different transport: buses and taxi to get to my city. That would have cost around $10 - $12 USD. And then one taxi from the main city to my home. And then back home. Thats how it even made sense to me in the moment to send the money to her. To pay one taxi, then another as she makes her way to me.

We have private companies here as well that operate like Uber. And since they would only be carrying one person, especially over a 2 hour drive, the cost would easily move from $25 USD to $100 USD or $150 USD.

If that were the case, I flat out would have told her "nah babes. Just stay home". And yes you are correct, even the private companies only get paid when they actually drop the passenger off.

One note --



Yes. This is the bare minimum requirement (shagged at least 3x; girl is converted). If you absolutely MUST give a woman money, don't do it unless she is yours.

That said, building on what @Vision said here:



Maybe it is a thing in the Caribbean, I'm not sure. But having picked up on four continents, I can say that in no country I've been in or had a girlfriend in has it been customary to give women money, nor have I ever done it.

I have had girls in poor countries try to scam money out of me on occasion. Sometimes they are pure scammers who don't want sex but sometimes there is actually sex mixed in, which makes it extra special weird. One minute you guys are fooling around, the next minute she is accusing you of having ripped her shirt when you undressed her and now that you're out walking around after leaving the hotel she wants you to spring for a $200 shirt (when a needle and thread would do... if you even actually ripped her shirt, which you probably didn't).

So, not knowing how it is in your location, I threw that "minimum of 3x shags" stipulation in there. Maybe there is some reason in some country men would give money to women they are in a relationship with... like in Asia men will have mistresses they pay for apartments for and give spending money to where they go shag those mistresses while they're not with their wives. One apartment complex I lived in in Asia was full of rich dudes' 20-something mistresses, basically just a huge building of chicks who didn't work and went shopping all the time and lived off rich dudes and were constantly horny because the old guy was only piping them like once every week or two. But I suppose if you're old and rich and you just want some young strange on the side you have easy access to maybe that might make sense.

If you ask me though, the only woman you should be giving money to is the one who is raising your child, which you know is yours because the paternity test came back positive, or else because you have her so thoroughly locked down it's certain it's yours.

Otherwise, I dunno what you'd be paying women money for. Money is paid for services rendered. Unless she is going to paint your portrait or something I'd skip on that deal... even then, I do not like the idea of hiring your woman. Just messes the whole dynamic up.

Chase

You are on point Chase. From what I have observed across the internet, even in the US... I think its a global issue where us men will occasionally run into women who ask for money. Or women in poor areas who genuinely would like to go out but dont have the money.

Just like in the US, there are men who are paying for womens rent, car, etc, its the same in my country here in the Caribbean. Rich men here will spend money on women too.

Honestly, this was a completely new situation to me. I have never asked a woman on a date and have her ask for money to come see me. Women have either said yes or no to dates because they like/dislike me. And thats fine. Definitely a learning lesson here.

BTW Skills talks about soft closes. Last year when I was going through an aspect of sales training, I learnt about hard closes. But soft closes is a completely new term.

I tried to find an article that talks about hard and soft closes. Is there such? Because Skills said I need to incorporate that into my text game.

 

[Chase]

Honestly, this was a completely new situation to me. I have never asked a woman on a date and have her ask for money to come see me. Women have either said yes or no to dates because they like/dislike me. And thats fine. Definitely a learning lesson here.

All right, well live and learn, eh?

Manipulators always look for people who are greedy, needy, or desperate.

It would seem counterintuitive at first that someone greedy or needy would be good prey for someone who is himself trying to extract resources... until you go through it yourself and realized your compromised decision making when in that state is what makes you the perfect target.

"No rash decisions based on greed or need" is a good rule to have.

"No deviations from my usual rules until after I've had a good night's sleep to think on it" is another.

BTW Skills talks about soft closes. Last year when I was going through an aspect of sales training, I learnt about hard closes. But soft closes is a completely new term.

I tried to find an article that talks about hard and soft closes. Is there such? Because Skills said I need to incorporate that into my text game.

It's not a term I've used; it comes from sales.

Just skimming a quick article on it though, it's pretty straightforward -- it's just suggesting the close without pushing hard for it.

• Soft closes: "We should hang out sometime!" "How about we grab a bite one of these days?" "How 'bout a nightcap?"
  
  
• Hard close: "Let's get drinks. Free this Thursday?" "I'm taking you out this week. How's sushi sound?" "Let's go to my place."

Hard close unequivocally proposes something and asks for the close. She is either going to accept or shoot it down.

Soft close floats the idea and gives her a chance to affirm it or gently pushback without having to outright reject.

If you're not sure where you're at with a girl, soft close is better -- gives you a chance to gauge where her head is at based on her reaction.

Chase

 

[POB]

Right now, my mission is all over the place. So I am going to have to consider putting dating on the back burner. And get to the money.

Smart move!

Like I see what Skills was saying. If I was earning 6 figures and I sent a chick $25 and she flaked, I know I would not have cared one bit. And with more personal power, I would have been able to stick closer to my values and simply decline going out with her in the first place.

It's not about the money....it's about the attitude.
If a chick ever said to me: "pay me X amount of dollars or I won't meet you", that's an instant next.
Don't need that kind of shit in my life.
On the other hand, some guys might disagree and see no problem with the situation...to each their own I guess.
Thing is, you have to figure out your own personal code and stick to it, no matter what.
It's very clear this really bothered you, so you already have a rule to adhere in your code.

What I care about is the fact that no woman wants to be home alone with a finger, cucumber or vibrator in their pussy.

You don't know that...my guess is they are probably looking for a serious BF, not a casual hook-up.

So I use this time of year as a good opportunity to get some pussy.

See above. If you don't know 100% how to navigate boyfriend season (and few guys do), it's a shitty time to get casual pussy (much like xmas and new years eve).