vanillakiller's journal

[vanillakiller]

i guess it's time to chronicle my experiences in the game isn't it

 

[Nova]

yes, your time has arrived

 

[Franco]

Moved this to the "Journals" board.

- Franco

 

[vanillakiller]

been battlin some AA l8ly... Meh
had an interaction today tho. A pattern: lately ive been getting to a point where ive opened, swapped names but after a quick qualifyer thrown out (ive been using 'tell me 1 thing about urself') I get to a point where we're smiling @ each other---with a death silence.. Thoughts?

 

[vanillakiller]

Thanks for weighing in casanova. I think it's important for me to be bantering with girls early on as it's a major hole in my tech at the moment. Case in point i was doin some daygame today..
(Seated set)

VK: hey there.. I saw u sitting there.. And i thought id really regret it if i didnt come talk to a cute girl like you.. Im vanillakiller..


Her: thank you.. Im sexysuntan

VK: nice to meet you.. So.. What makes u special.. Wat do u like??

Her: dunno.. Wat do u wanna know??

(intense tension-building pause where i stare @ her without letting her off the hook)

At this point I fucked up and i know it.. Instead of holding my frame i fill the silence

VK: okay.. Ur fashion. U a stripes or polkadots girl?? (cheeky smile on my face) (i knew id lost at this point)

her: polkadots

me: Ayt then.. Me too (should NOT have said that *supplicating* .. It looks so obvious how bad that was typing it out now -_-)

her: (stares at me)

I eject

In hindsight that FU was caused by my lack of aggression really more than anything else. Also my vibe was a bit heavy and serious which in all honesty is just a manifestation of my inexperience with girls so that will change with time

Any insights would be welcomed

 

[vanillakiller]

I would just like to go on a bit of a rant quickly.

This was inspired by links to youtube videos ive seen on the forum.

The comments section of those videos reveals shockingly flawed mindsets that are unproductive for meeting women-And as with most flawed mindsets, those people all think that they are 100% correct in their worldview and assessment of youtube PUA's.

1- "That video's fake!"- I would hazard to guess that this sweeping dismissal of the video stems from deep cognitive dissonance- They cannot live with knowing that 8 min kiss closes are possible (even for below average looking guys) when they cannot even talk to girls on the street. So the video must be fake.

2- "She's from [insert foreign country]" she must be a slut. This definetily stems from the madonna/whore complex of the men inexperienced with women who assume that 'good girls' would never kiss a man they've known for only 5 mins. Therefore she must be a nympho slut-whore, right? Failing to recognise that ALL women enjoy quick intimacy with a sauve man who's taken the time to learn how to provide women with that experience and not cast judgement.

3- "You should not be kissing girls the same day you meet them.. Creepy"

Should? You really want the entire world to align to your 'should'?!?!

That word just betrays a lack of experience regarding socialising and/or dating- you would know that it doesnt really matter what other people do or don't do-just do what you know-repeat hundreds/thousands of times and do what works without passing judgements on 'what works' happens to be.

'NBA players really should stop practising free-throws'

yeah, well it gets results. Get over it. Do your free throws.

Kissing girls fast is fun. I like kissing girls. I don't get kisses if i wait six months.

Get over it. Kiss girls on the same day.

"He's so lucky that she wanted to kiss him"

"He/she is so lucky" is a deathblow to self-improvement in any area.

People who fail to approach success in any area as a skill-set will always be sitting on the sidelines, wallowing in their victim-mentality-induced patheticness.

It's pretty damn obvious that life rewards only those heavily involved in skill-building.

Chess grandmasters
NBA players
Racecar drivers
Authors
Criminal masterminds {if that's your thing }

Heck, im sure even the guys who post on this forum get properly pissed off when guys call them 'lucky'.

Because they don't realize the dozens of rejections and blowouts we endured along the way.

That video is NOT fake.

He is NOT lucky.

And she is definetily NOT a slut.

You just suck.

Join us @ GC on our journey of skill-building or slink off, please

 

[vanillakiller]

I promised myself i'd paste my experiences here after starting university as i went to a boys-only high school.. I've been awful

I've had some decentish interactions but a lot of missed number closes and/ or flakes at this point

been mainly talking to girls in my classes.. I need to step it up and meet some kittens on the corridors and cafeteria

VK

 

[vanillakiller]

Scenery: studying for a test at the campus library. Cute indian girl siiting there just waiting to be girlschase'd

She's sitting at the desk opposite me with what looks like her friends about two desks away, adjacent to her

She sighs and stretches

I open her.
VK: It looks like you need a break
(warm smile)

Her: (smiles)

Me: what're you studying

her: Bcom accounting

Me: my brother does that..

Her: what's he like two years older than you??

Me: he's a first year.. My twin brother

Her: omg you have a twin!!

(I've been putting up with people having hernias when they find out im a twin for my whole life now so thankfully I was still in stride)

Me: Do you have any siblings??

Her: yes two sisters both older than me

(she told me her sister's ages but I've since forgotten.. Must do the reports as soon as the Interaction is over since I can do this on my phone)

Me: ohh alrighty, CuteIndian.. She (her older sister) the bully type or she spoils you??

Her: there's no way I would let someone bully me

Me: haha you look like the type who doesn't take any nonsense

Her: no way

this painfully awkward silence and I just couldn't think of a thing to say

Me: I'm about to go soon CuteIndian.. What's your number

Her: what!?!? (quizzical look on her face)

Me: what's your number

Her: I don't know my number by heart (sure you don't)
I don't give my number to just anyone, Vanillakiller (surprised she even used my name, she handn't said it since the time I told it to her and she repeated it back to me)

(I felt like saying 'Im not just anyone' but that would've been trying to use logic to change a girls emotions... Blood from a stone as far as I'm concerned)

awkward silence and I divert eye contact.. A bit of drama for her friends sitting next to her I guess

I had already studied enough so I got up and left-- half disappointed, half satisfied that I even took action

Then; for the first time I realised that I wasn't unhappy about the outcome of the interaction, but that I knew i would've forever regretted it if I didn't even try for the number

what (few things) I did right:
It was the perfect context for a indirect opening

opened stronger than usual

conversation flow better than most

went for the close despite the friends being there, the potential embarrassment thereof (which wasn't that bad in retrospect)
voice tone was sufficiently deep I felt

things I did poorly

too many questions (far too many)
not enough assumptions and leading statements
poor eye contact

if anyone can point out any glaring points for imoprovement from the above dialogue that would be stellar

P.S at least I didn't give up at the hello like I did in the corridor yesterday yech that was painful

vanillakiller
VK

 

[vanillakiller]

Found this decent bar by my house like a 5 min walk.. Didn't think it would turn out to be much... Thought I would warm up by talking to the staff.. Ended up playing pool with a waiter there who was the same age as me had a decent conversation as well.... had some pretty blonde girls walking about.. I open the 1 girl who said hello back then carried on walking to her friends..

In retrospect: My voice is way too quiet and mumbly.. I need to shout (from my perspective) and enunciate more clearly just to be heard by others. Also need to slow it down

it takes a lot of talking for me to warm up socially and was just not enough people for me to do so

 

[vanillakiller]

Its back to campus for me now and that means legionz of gals.. back to cold approach and some social circle thrown in there..

talked to a group of girls who were sittin aroun for about 30min d about some mostly impersonal stuff like what they do on the weekend, relating to their parents and suff like that...went for the number and got rejected :/

i think what i did wrong was not going into deep enough personal topics and getting investment just mistimed the asking for the number as well

***deep dived a chick in class about what is like for her growin up.. her relationship with her parents.. she told me a few very personal details about herself so i shared some coz it was getting weird.. nothing came of it though


had a lighthearted conversation with a very talkative and lively indian girl that saw again later that day and decided not to go talk to her.. i reasoned it was chasing.. Was that a mistake??


So Far: I need to really work on my deep diving and continuing conversations.. Also i need to learn to take conversation beyond platonic nice guy stuff and steer well clear of that friend zone.. and just approach more in general

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey brother glad to see u journalling, I will have a proper read later but for now wanted to say that asking for the number in front of friend(s) is almost always a nogo, its a bit too much like asking for sex and I think it either raises anti slut defense, or possibly its like she's concerned you're not high value enough to bolster her reputation/public image even if she's into you. I've had more success extracting her from the conversation by "hey come over here a moment" and number closing in private, but generally groups are an uphill battle.

Good going

Ray

 

[vanillakiller]

Shot, ray zorse you hit the nail on the head there. Asking for numbers should be a one-on-one story.. On a somewhat unrelated note there were two specific opens i did today that bothered me for the same reason: opening and friendly banter were happening nicely for me but what comes after in the minute or two into the interaction that shimmies me. Once i've got the deep dive and connection-building im kinda set but its *getting there* thats a huge issue for me. Its that i never know what to say to get past pleasantries and into proper conversation

any ideas just to experiment with would be a boon

 

[ray_zorse]

hey VK I've now read your journal from the start and I have some tips for you.

Firstly, "tell me something special about yourself" is too much work for her, it's a bit like texting a girl "hey, sup" and expecting her to carry the conversation. Or put it this way: Suppose a client came to you with a brief... we want you to write an article about XXX... compared to, if a client came to you with a draft article... we want you to edit this article about XXX? What would be easier? Obviously, the second one, you get your pencil straight out and start saying "well, this whole section has to be rewritten, but this section we can work with, it just needs to be tightened up here, et cetera"... so that's what you're aiming for in your interactions, you suggest something to her and she will clarify as required.

You: hey, I saw you sitting here and I just had to tell you you're cute. I'm VK
Her: I'm blah blah
You: so you've been studying today...decided to grab a quick coffee before heading home?
Her: oh no actually I didn't have study today I've just finished work
You: oh really? you study and work? that's great...so I guess maybe it's like hospitality kind of work?
Her: actually I'm in retail I sell women's fashion
You: awesome! you are quite charming, bet you have your customers wrapped around your little finger
Her: haha well I didn't know much about retail when I started, it's just a job to pay the rent while I continue my studies
You: ohh right you are a student too...business major?
Her: yeah how did you know?
You: hahaha you are Chinese right? bet your parents pushed you to study business, not that that's a bad thing mind you
Her: haha well that's true, my real passion is XXXX

See how she opens up with a little prompting? Well, if she's into you she will, anyway. And notice how I didn't really ask any questions there, the first 2 were kind of questions but basically phrased as statements. Tonality is important here as you can make a statement into a question and vice versa... the reason you should be playing around with this, is you need to get information out of her without it seeming 20-questions like.

-Ray

 

[vanillakiller]

Thanks i get the bit about the whole not needing prompting if she's into you bit. iv noticed when i get onto an interesting topic (which is different from girl to girl) she contributes more. But i feel my conversations lack creativity and a flow.. there comes a point where iv exhausted a topic nd nothing else seems to come to mind. Need to fix that next

 

[vanillakiller]

Either i ask way too many queations or i stall nd i feel as if i have to leave

 

[vanillakiller]

opened a girl sitting on a bench by herself.
Introduced myself., so did she
Then proceeded to have a longish convo mainly deep dive-esque. was lacking in sexual edge but i was going to go for the kiss when she tells tells me she has a bf... i hit her with the "is it serious" but my baloon had been deflated at this point.. i know this shouldnt bother me/matter @ all but still. Got her #, carried on some topics she left unfinished then stood up n bounced.

Not sure if this number will be of any use

 

[vanillakiller]

been having a problem getting these posts up from a tablet.
some daygame was done.
a couple of warmups just to get and feet and lips moving i think about four. then the concerted effort to meet cute girls starts.
this is all on campus btw
these are rough summaries coz my batterys abwt to die.

i see a cute girl walking towards me. i let her pass then i run after her and stop her. i go direct and introduce myself. she does the same. iget intosome light banter about some jewels shes wearing after i make a comment about it. i get her touching on some family stuff. she then mentions being too rushed to talked and i dropped the ball not going for the number.

next a cute blsck haired girl with tight white pants showing off her hips disappears around a building corner. i jog lightly just to catch up and tell her she looks really stylish. she like ghts up and we get into a somewhat platonic conversation by my own admission she mentions having to leave and at that im feeling as if the comversation was too light to garner a solid number so i just let her go..regretted afterwards.

fast forward about half a day im walking down these stairs and i see this blonde girl standing outside a shop. i walk up next to her, open direct and proceed to get into a meaty back and forth about travel after commenting on her tan. she seems very interested but i let the conversstion die off after too long and she excused herself with a nice to meet you

the next day i spot this cute indian girl with colourful glasses walking behind and to the left of me. so i slow my pace..more coming soon battery tapping out

 

[vanillakiller]

So anyway.. this chick is walking behind me so i slow my pace and open her side to side, my feet and torso pointed away from her but my head towards her. she responds rather quietly to my direct open. she says she walking so i decide to walk alongside. at this im trying to get a convo going. i throw what probably was three or four assumptions at her before she hooks and starts telling me about herself. at one point i can clearly discern interest after she interrupts me to remind her of my name, which i gave to her on the open. anyway we keep walking and she tells me she has to get going. Why i didnt go for the number at some point before this, i dunno. anyway that was that.

fast forward another back, im back on campus and in between my study related commitments i decide to look for some cuties. i see this one girl and as im walking towards herbi chicken out but as im chiding myself i see this white girl with red hair with blonde streaks and i start jogging towards her just to make sure i dont chicken out. thankfully she stops walking for some reason and I open. she doesnt hear me coz its loud by the shop we're outside. i repeat, saying i thought she was cute and i wanted to say hello. she responds warmly we get into some light banter, i tried cold reads/assumptions. im wrong but she corrects me. (i dont mind when i miss a cold read coz its an excuse to get her to explain and talk about her self ). i then tell i need to be off to attend to matters and go for the number. she calls it out and even corrects me when i make a typo. and off i go.

later on in the day i see this girl in a long black dress standing by herself near a wall and decide to go in. i walk a little bit past her and deliver my opener. And.....she lets out a grunt, turns around and walks *very fast* away from me. i stand there, dick in hand just about and laugh to myself.


so this morning i texted the red hair girl just to warmly ping her get a feel for her schedule. no reply. the plan right now is to meet more cuties and just push myself hard! especially in conversation skills

 

[vanillakiller]

met a rather small white girl while walking to one of my lectures. i actually ran up and stopped her in front of a security guard-must've been a nice show for him.. opened direct she was very warm, immediately started asking questions about me. For the life of me i tried to pepper in a tease but alas. i actually was late to a class when i decided to approach her so i told her this and asked for her number. she gives it then i wish bye and she walk (rather rapidly) away

 

[vanillakiller]

saw a very short indian girl walking opposite me in the corridors. i let her pass me, i turn around and run after her. she walks very fast for someone lacking in height. shes wearing a blue floral dress, and slops. when i pass her and stop i notice shes wearing a substantial amount of make-up and is hiding a pair of soccerballs under her dress anyway i belt out my opener she says thanks and carries on walking. i walking with her, almost aerobically challenged by her fervent pace. i ask her what shes studying and promptly fail to deep dive her on her answer. anyway i engage in some banter but nowhere near as much teasing/challenging as i shouldve or normally do. a few seconds later i abruptly draw a conversational blank and wish her a good day

Two issues so far :
Should i stop a girl whos walking sum where with evident purpose or should i just pretend im also going where shes going and walk alongside.

also iv seen many pairs of girls out during the day where one is cute and the other not so much and just wondering what would be the process/recommended best practises for approaching these??