Yeah I don't really know why its considered suboptimal here. I think I've kissed all my girls in public before I went home with them, except for some sugar babies (but those don't count in my book). The sugar babies didn't want to be seen in public for understandable reasons (though some were OK with it). But all my organic lays, I made out with them first.
I'm not yet a master seducer by any means, and it is not my intention to question the methods that are taught here... That said, I did pull about 25 girls home which I kissed in public. More if I count the ones I didn't end up banging.
kissing can have a number of effects on the seduction process, and weather it is positive or not depends on so many different factors.
Some basic considerations though.
-Kissing offers validation to her regardless if she accepts or not. Often times a women will accept this gesture from you regardless of how invested she is in the greater frame work of the seduction. So she basically gets validation, but the seduction itself does not. Offering validation at the wrong time can solidify unhelpful frames. Like if you are too deep in a boyfriend frame when you kiss then you just sealed that frame. Where as before you may have been able to flip the frame first.
-Kissing her puts out a pretty clear frame on your part, and unless she has bought into the frame entirely it can send her into an evaluation mode "do I or don't I want to go there with him?" And now she is running this program in her head for the rest of the interaction (regardless of her having kissed you in that one moment). Since she already knows exactly where this is going she is then really evaluating each time you ask for compliance afterward. "do I don't I do I dont I?" Rather than holding out, and her wondering if it might go there "it feels like it's going there, this is exciting, but I'm not sure, maybe I'll stick around to see where it goes next". All the while she is investing in smaller steps along the way, to see where it goes. By the time you kiss has already invested in all the small frames building up to the escalation, that it is not even a question. Then its go time.
-Kissing can build tension, but there is a limit to that tension. Unless the interaction steadily escalates from there, kissing, at the wrong time or past a certain point, will release/dissipate tension . If the interaction didn't have much tension to begin with, then kissing will dissipate all sexual tension and create a road block to the seduction. Like the evaluation mode I mentioned, shit testing your frame, or getting cold feet and putting up last minute resistance when the actual escalation happens.
- Kissing in certain settings can trigger anti slut defense for her. Places she frequents where people she knows might see. More formal settings where kissing is a very much PDA. Her friends are hanging out nearby.
When can kissing work before reaching a proper escalation location/moment? In my experience it has only been in a few scenarios.
-She is clearly super hooked, the right frames are set, you two can't keep your hands off eachother (mostly a night game scenario, around pull o clock). But even then I use kissing as a tease, a way to build tension, and move things forward. Always ending the kiss first. Getting compliance and rewarding. Then eventually leave the tension hanging until it is actually go time. Otherwise you run the risk of letting all the air out of the balloon.
-You are having attainabilty issues, where you are risking sending her into auto rejection. Basically kissing her brings her back into a place where you feel attainable to her and she then can relax and feel at ease. This can be tricky to gauge though, and if is already too deep into auto rejection she will take the validation but deny the kiss. Now you have negative compliance. Also, if you miss read and she wasn't autorejecting you are now in a chasing position.
Sure kissing can be fun and feel natural and you can lead a seduction forward after kissing a bit pre escalation. Used intentionally it can even be a solid move to move things forward. But in seduction every move has an effect. There can be a lot of drawbacks to kissing at the wrong moment.
The more I refine my game, the less reason I find to kiss before escalation (I still make the mistake of kissing too soon from time to time). It rarely does anything to add to the seduction, and often works against tension and momentum. Granted I am setting sexual frames from the get go, using touch in intentional ways, and gaining compliance/momentum. This makes it so kissing isn't really necessary to move things forward. Then when the kiss does happen it is just escalate, escalate, escalate.
