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- May 21, 2023
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- 400
This post ended up being kind of long because I included some thoughts on pickup in China and in general. I’ve marked the LR below if you want to skip to it.
After taking a brief trip back home to visit family, I decided to visit China for a couple of weeks to kickstart a side project in content creation that I’ve been thinking about, as well as to see what I can make happen in PUA there.
The last time I lived in China was long before I came across Game, and it was a time in my life when I was frustrated by scarcity and lack of courage to meet the very beautiful girls I often saw on a daily basis there. I dated some nice girls, but they were by no means the hottest.
Arriving in Guangzhou, I realised that I had accidentally booked to arrive the day just before Qingmingjie (tomb sweeping festival), during which almost everybody goes back to their hometown to visit family and pay respects to their ancestors. This was both good and bad - it gave me some good opportunities for content creation, but also meant that most young people were spending time with family, which is less than ideal for daygame.
After visiting a small town, which turned out to be a bit of a drag, I took the bullet train to Changsha, a lesser-known (yet still very large) city which is known for being a hub of the TV and broadcasting industry in China. Many young people move here with dreams of stardom (or at least they did before the advent of livestreaming).
I dedicated my first day to shooting content - chatting with people, hearing their story, filming the wild reactions I get from Chinese people when they hear me speak Chinese.
You would probably think that being a tall white guy in China speaking their language would make pickup absurdly easy, but alas reactions do not equal results. In my experience, the “foreigner fascination” is superficial - an illusion that often gives way the moment you make a compliance request.
In some ways, it actually makes cold approach more confusing, because girls you assumed were green turn out to be yellow or even red. Their IOIs are not real IOIs that arise from attraction on an instinctive level. They’re just curious about you, like an exotic animal.
I’ve had several puzzling encounters where a girl gave me a direct IOI (smile and even waving at me - usually when she’s with friends), then I go over and talk to her and she immediately tells me how I look so handsome and asks where I’m from. But the interest dissolves quickly. Then, when I ask for her WeChat, she declines.
My theory is that these overt IOI actually throw a wrench in the seduction by messing up the frame. Now that she’s expressed such clear interest in front of her friends, I can’t number-close her without them assuming she’s gonna hook up with me, so it triggers an ASD response (rejection).
Anyway, it’s irrelevant to dwell on. The important thing is that reactions can be deceiving. Enjoy the compliments, but take them at face value. The only way to know whether a girl is truly interested is through compliance.
The next day, I decided to go out for some proper daygame. I noticed that I still have a bit of anxiety around approaching Chinese girls for a variety of reasons, so I wanted to tackle that head-on by putting in some reps.
In his recent podcast interview, @Skills talked about how the Gen Z girls he meets at clubs in South Florida are friendly but AFC, socially awkward, anxious and looks-maxxing - a consequence of the covid lockdowns. Well, as you can probably imagine, it’s even more extreme in China, which had the worst lockdowns in the world. The looks-maxing here is taken to another level. Walk around the downtown of any big Chinese city and you will see an endless stream of doll-like girls with nose jobs, double-slitted eyelids, carefully-done makeup and elaborate cute outfits (the miniskirt “Japanese schoolgirl” style is massively in vogue here - which I’m a big supporter of). An endless stream of beautiful clones, identical in looks and behavior. It’s truly bizarre.
I did a few approaches, most of which were rather awkward. While always friendly, the girls were like a deer caught in headlights - overwhelmed by the situation and unsure how to react.
In SMMA, Gunwitch talked about how your goal with physical appearance is not to focus on “looks-maxxing”, but on minimising the chance of a “knee jerk” bad reaction from girls on approach. That means doing what’s needed to look like “the kind of guy that she could fuck”.
Well a lot of these girls have never interacted with a foreigner in their life. This combined with the post-covid anxiety epidemic undoubtedly contributes to the variety of puzzling knee-jerk responses I get.
I believe that to succeed with PUA in China, you do need to filter for girls who are somewhat open-minded - whether that’s by choosing a more liberal/internationalised city (Chengdu, Shanghai, Beijing) or just finding out where those girls hang out (near art/music/language schools perhaps).
The Pickup
Around 7pm, feeling rather exhausted and a bit dejected, I walked back to my hotel. On the way, I spotted a girl sitting alone on a bench just outside the building. She had quite unique fashion sense with elaborate pendants, a black lace top that slightly revealed her bra beneath, and black jeans that somehow had patches of fur. A dolled-up hipster look - not unlike many of the other girls I’d seen that day.
I walked past first, ensuring she noticed my presence, then sat on the bench at a corner angle to her facing away. After a minute, I turned and delivered a compliment on her fashion, particularly pointing to the fur jeans.
You know how sometimes when you deliver a compliment the right way, you can almost sense that it’s going to hit hard. Something subtle about the execution of it, which is hard to predict, but I think is what differentiates genuine compliments from generic ones. Well I could feel that this one landed good.
She smiled and turn towards me, asking where I’m from. We bantered a little, and I learned that she’s studying in Shanghai, 19 years old, and came to Changsha for the holiday with her friend who already went back to Shanghai earlier in the day. She was heading back tomorrow, and was now just killing time and figuring out what to do. Couldn’t make it a more ripe opportunity.
I casually suggested grabbing a drink somewhere nearby, and she agreed. We found a nice little cocktail bar and sat and talked some more. She did not ask me many questions, so it was mostly me deep diving her (which is ideal). I found out that she is a student of ceramic art, both her parents are workaholic doctors, and that she loves to travel. She told me about how she sneaked off on a trip to Beijing alone without her parents knowing. I related with some of my travel stories.
At one point I asked her one of @Chase's 8 value eliciting questions - how much do you like to plan? She said she hardly ever plans, and likes to be spontaneous and try new things. I thought wow I really hit it with this girl. She’s the polar opposite of the Chinese archetype.
I mentioned that I’m interested in psychology (which I knew she would qualify herself to by agreeing) and asked if she knew about the Five Love Languages - which is fresh in my mind as I had actually just listened to the full audiobook on the train. I explained them in detail, and we found out that hers is quality time (I did not share mine).
After around an hour, I suggested we go somewhere else to find something to eat, then paid and led us back towards where I was staying. Other than lightly touching her back when crossing the road, I did very little physical touch (I do believe that discretion is important in China to avoid a negative social frame reaction). As we approached the convenience store, I said “let’s grab something to drink first.” Then we went in and got two iced teas, which she paid for.
We continued walking, and as we got close to my condo building, I decided to try a pull routine devised by a Hong Kong daygame coach (@Gorili posted an analysis of him here):
(in Chinese)
Me: Actually, I just need to go up and charge my phone. Then if we’re hungry we can go eat something.
Her: Okay. Then should I wait downstairs for you?
Me: Up to you.
Her: Then I’ll go up and charge my phone too. My phone’s almost dead.
It worked like a charm, giving her just enough plausible deniability.
We got to my place and settled in, putting on some music.
By fortunate coincidence, I happened to be carrying a book titled Sex in History (a fascinating and well-researched book about how sex has been regarded in different cultures across thousands of years), and I grabbed it and described it to her in a fascinated academic tone of voice, showing her some of the illustrations of ancient pornographic artwork. She turned away bashfully.
By about the 10 minute mark, I went for a kiss, but she pulled away. I said “you okay?” She said “I’m just shy”. I gave her some space, leaning against the other end of the sofa. A couple of minutes later, as she was saying something, I looked at her lips and said “I really want to know what they feel like”, then leaned over and kissed her lightly. “Mmm, soft.” Then turned my attention back to the playlist as she fidgeted.
Another minute later, I went for a proper make-out and pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her neck and touched her all over. She started breathing heavily, as if she’d really never done this before. She was enjoying it, but I could tell she was nervous. At one point I picked her up, got her to turn off one of the lights with her foot, then took her to the bed.
Her: Wait… do you have a condom?
Me: Yeah
Her: Okay. But I might not be very good at this…
She was right. I wouldn’t say it was bad sex, but she was definitely inexperienced. The first time, I’ll admit, I really struggled to get hard and came way too fast. Probably because it was a novel situation for me - I honestly didn’t expect to pull a cute dolled-up girl like this so quickly.
But she ended up staying the night, and the second time, she went to the bathroom and removed her makeup and… she looked like a completely different person - like a normal asian girl. Suddenly I had no erection issues whatsoever. Weird how that works.
Later, she showed me her TikTok where she posts videos of herself dancing in cute and sexy outfits. Her videos had hundreds of comments from thirsty dudes, some offering to fly her to their city to wine and dine her. Made me wonder how many of these Gen Z girls posting thirst trap videos are actually sexually inexperienced.
Despite the mediocre sex, this was a satisfying and unexpected lay. I'm grateful to have a solid positive reference point going forward in China towards which I can calibrate the rest of my game.
Takeaways
After taking a brief trip back home to visit family, I decided to visit China for a couple of weeks to kickstart a side project in content creation that I’ve been thinking about, as well as to see what I can make happen in PUA there.
The last time I lived in China was long before I came across Game, and it was a time in my life when I was frustrated by scarcity and lack of courage to meet the very beautiful girls I often saw on a daily basis there. I dated some nice girls, but they were by no means the hottest.
Arriving in Guangzhou, I realised that I had accidentally booked to arrive the day just before Qingmingjie (tomb sweeping festival), during which almost everybody goes back to their hometown to visit family and pay respects to their ancestors. This was both good and bad - it gave me some good opportunities for content creation, but also meant that most young people were spending time with family, which is less than ideal for daygame.
After visiting a small town, which turned out to be a bit of a drag, I took the bullet train to Changsha, a lesser-known (yet still very large) city which is known for being a hub of the TV and broadcasting industry in China. Many young people move here with dreams of stardom (or at least they did before the advent of livestreaming).
I dedicated my first day to shooting content - chatting with people, hearing their story, filming the wild reactions I get from Chinese people when they hear me speak Chinese.
You would probably think that being a tall white guy in China speaking their language would make pickup absurdly easy, but alas reactions do not equal results. In my experience, the “foreigner fascination” is superficial - an illusion that often gives way the moment you make a compliance request.
In some ways, it actually makes cold approach more confusing, because girls you assumed were green turn out to be yellow or even red. Their IOIs are not real IOIs that arise from attraction on an instinctive level. They’re just curious about you, like an exotic animal.
I’ve had several puzzling encounters where a girl gave me a direct IOI (smile and even waving at me - usually when she’s with friends), then I go over and talk to her and she immediately tells me how I look so handsome and asks where I’m from. But the interest dissolves quickly. Then, when I ask for her WeChat, she declines.
My theory is that these overt IOI actually throw a wrench in the seduction by messing up the frame. Now that she’s expressed such clear interest in front of her friends, I can’t number-close her without them assuming she’s gonna hook up with me, so it triggers an ASD response (rejection).
Anyway, it’s irrelevant to dwell on. The important thing is that reactions can be deceiving. Enjoy the compliments, but take them at face value. The only way to know whether a girl is truly interested is through compliance.
The next day, I decided to go out for some proper daygame. I noticed that I still have a bit of anxiety around approaching Chinese girls for a variety of reasons, so I wanted to tackle that head-on by putting in some reps.
In his recent podcast interview, @Skills talked about how the Gen Z girls he meets at clubs in South Florida are friendly but AFC, socially awkward, anxious and looks-maxxing - a consequence of the covid lockdowns. Well, as you can probably imagine, it’s even more extreme in China, which had the worst lockdowns in the world. The looks-maxing here is taken to another level. Walk around the downtown of any big Chinese city and you will see an endless stream of doll-like girls with nose jobs, double-slitted eyelids, carefully-done makeup and elaborate cute outfits (the miniskirt “Japanese schoolgirl” style is massively in vogue here - which I’m a big supporter of). An endless stream of beautiful clones, identical in looks and behavior. It’s truly bizarre.
I did a few approaches, most of which were rather awkward. While always friendly, the girls were like a deer caught in headlights - overwhelmed by the situation and unsure how to react.
In SMMA, Gunwitch talked about how your goal with physical appearance is not to focus on “looks-maxxing”, but on minimising the chance of a “knee jerk” bad reaction from girls on approach. That means doing what’s needed to look like “the kind of guy that she could fuck”.
Well a lot of these girls have never interacted with a foreigner in their life. This combined with the post-covid anxiety epidemic undoubtedly contributes to the variety of puzzling knee-jerk responses I get.
I believe that to succeed with PUA in China, you do need to filter for girls who are somewhat open-minded - whether that’s by choosing a more liberal/internationalised city (Chengdu, Shanghai, Beijing) or just finding out where those girls hang out (near art/music/language schools perhaps).
The Pickup
Around 7pm, feeling rather exhausted and a bit dejected, I walked back to my hotel. On the way, I spotted a girl sitting alone on a bench just outside the building. She had quite unique fashion sense with elaborate pendants, a black lace top that slightly revealed her bra beneath, and black jeans that somehow had patches of fur. A dolled-up hipster look - not unlike many of the other girls I’d seen that day.
I walked past first, ensuring she noticed my presence, then sat on the bench at a corner angle to her facing away. After a minute, I turned and delivered a compliment on her fashion, particularly pointing to the fur jeans.
You know how sometimes when you deliver a compliment the right way, you can almost sense that it’s going to hit hard. Something subtle about the execution of it, which is hard to predict, but I think is what differentiates genuine compliments from generic ones. Well I could feel that this one landed good.
She smiled and turn towards me, asking where I’m from. We bantered a little, and I learned that she’s studying in Shanghai, 19 years old, and came to Changsha for the holiday with her friend who already went back to Shanghai earlier in the day. She was heading back tomorrow, and was now just killing time and figuring out what to do. Couldn’t make it a more ripe opportunity.
I casually suggested grabbing a drink somewhere nearby, and she agreed. We found a nice little cocktail bar and sat and talked some more. She did not ask me many questions, so it was mostly me deep diving her (which is ideal). I found out that she is a student of ceramic art, both her parents are workaholic doctors, and that she loves to travel. She told me about how she sneaked off on a trip to Beijing alone without her parents knowing. I related with some of my travel stories.
At one point I asked her one of @Chase's 8 value eliciting questions - how much do you like to plan? She said she hardly ever plans, and likes to be spontaneous and try new things. I thought wow I really hit it with this girl. She’s the polar opposite of the Chinese archetype.
I mentioned that I’m interested in psychology (which I knew she would qualify herself to by agreeing) and asked if she knew about the Five Love Languages - which is fresh in my mind as I had actually just listened to the full audiobook on the train. I explained them in detail, and we found out that hers is quality time (I did not share mine).
After around an hour, I suggested we go somewhere else to find something to eat, then paid and led us back towards where I was staying. Other than lightly touching her back when crossing the road, I did very little physical touch (I do believe that discretion is important in China to avoid a negative social frame reaction). As we approached the convenience store, I said “let’s grab something to drink first.” Then we went in and got two iced teas, which she paid for.
We continued walking, and as we got close to my condo building, I decided to try a pull routine devised by a Hong Kong daygame coach (@Gorili posted an analysis of him here):
(in Chinese)
Me: Actually, I just need to go up and charge my phone. Then if we’re hungry we can go eat something.
Her: Okay. Then should I wait downstairs for you?
Me: Up to you.
Her: Then I’ll go up and charge my phone too. My phone’s almost dead.
It worked like a charm, giving her just enough plausible deniability.
We got to my place and settled in, putting on some music.
By fortunate coincidence, I happened to be carrying a book titled Sex in History (a fascinating and well-researched book about how sex has been regarded in different cultures across thousands of years), and I grabbed it and described it to her in a fascinated academic tone of voice, showing her some of the illustrations of ancient pornographic artwork. She turned away bashfully.
By about the 10 minute mark, I went for a kiss, but she pulled away. I said “you okay?” She said “I’m just shy”. I gave her some space, leaning against the other end of the sofa. A couple of minutes later, as she was saying something, I looked at her lips and said “I really want to know what they feel like”, then leaned over and kissed her lightly. “Mmm, soft.” Then turned my attention back to the playlist as she fidgeted.
Another minute later, I went for a proper make-out and pulled her onto my lap. I kissed her neck and touched her all over. She started breathing heavily, as if she’d really never done this before. She was enjoying it, but I could tell she was nervous. At one point I picked her up, got her to turn off one of the lights with her foot, then took her to the bed.
Her: Wait… do you have a condom?
Me: Yeah
Her: Okay. But I might not be very good at this…
She was right. I wouldn’t say it was bad sex, but she was definitely inexperienced. The first time, I’ll admit, I really struggled to get hard and came way too fast. Probably because it was a novel situation for me - I honestly didn’t expect to pull a cute dolled-up girl like this so quickly.
But she ended up staying the night, and the second time, she went to the bathroom and removed her makeup and… she looked like a completely different person - like a normal asian girl. Suddenly I had no erection issues whatsoever. Weird how that works.
Later, she showed me her TikTok where she posts videos of herself dancing in cute and sexy outfits. Her videos had hundreds of comments from thirsty dudes, some offering to fly her to their city to wine and dine her. Made me wonder how many of these Gen Z girls posting thirst trap videos are actually sexually inexperienced.
Despite the mediocre sex, this was a satisfying and unexpected lay. I'm grateful to have a solid positive reference point going forward in China towards which I can calibrate the rest of my game.
Takeaways
- I think the biggest factor for my success with pickup in China will be filtering for open-minded girls - e.g. girls who study at foreign language universities, involved in artistic communities, or hang out at trendy cafes and bookshops with English books.
- A second priority is figuring out how to establish a good social frame with girls (in daygame approaches) who perhaps have never even interacted with a foreigner. I think the key to this in focusing on comfort, micro-compliance ladders and similarity-building to avoid negative FSC reactions.
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